Healthy Grief, Unhealthy Grief

We all know that it is in one’s highest good to grieve the loss of a relationship. Healthy grief releases feelings rather than allowing them to get stuck in the body. Healthy grief allows the griever to heal the loss and move on with life.

Yet grief is not always healing. Many of us have known people who were stuck in their grief, seemingly locked into the past and unable to move forward in their lives.

What is the difference between those who feel their grief and move on and those who get stuck in it? The difference lies in what they believe they have lost. When people believe they have lost their source of love, their grief will feel unending.

Gary had been in a three-year relationship with Samantha when Samantha decided to end the relationship. Gary was devastated. In this relationship, like in his past relationships, Gary was a taker – always trying to get love but unable to give love or share love. Samantha gave him a lot of love, but she often felt very lonely with him. Gary was devastated when she left because his source of love was gone. He was not grieving the loss of Samantha as a person he loved. He was grieving the loss of her love for him. He was grieving as a lost wounded child rather than as a loving adult.

As a result, Gary became stuck in his grief. He was stuck in feeling like a victim – stuck in “poor me.” Gary had never done the inner work to develop an adult part of himself that could bring love to himself and share it with others. He felt lost, abandoned, and hurt. No matter how much he cried, no healing occurred. Because he was abandoning himself, he just continued to feel alone and despairing. Sometimes he was angry at Samantha for abandoning him and other times he was angry at himself for not being a better partner. He had many regrets that plagued him, and a constant inner refrain was, “If only I had……” “If only I had listened to her more, maybe she wouldn’t have left.” If only I had told her how beautiful she is, maybe she wouldn’t have left.”

Frank, on the other hand, was in deep grief over the death of his beloved wife, Beth. He had loved Beth with his whole heart and he missed her terribly. Yet Frank’s grief was totally different than Gary’s grief. Frank missed Beth’s laugh. He missed her joy, her caring for people, her sense of wonder. He missed her as a person, and he missed being able to share his love with her. Frank had no regrets because he had not been a taker. He had loved Beth totally and was deeply grateful for the time he had with her. But Frank was actually fine. His grief came in waves, and he cried when it came. Then it washed through and he was fine again.

Frank was fine because Beth had not been the source of his sense of self. Frank had a strong loving inner adult who was connected with a spiritual source of love and wisdom. This was his Source, not Beth. Frank was a person who took full responsibility for his own pain and joy. He had never made Beth responsible for his feelings or his wellbeing.
Because he had never abandoned himself, he could miss Beth and grieve for her without feeling abandoned, lost, victimized and alone.

Gary, on the other hand, was not fine, no matter how much sadness he released, because Samantha had been his Source of love, his Higher Power. He had handed to her the job of defining his sense of self, so when she left, all he could feel was abandoned. Gary had handed his Inner Child – his feeling self – to Samantha. He had made Samantha responsible for his feelings, so when she left, he felt like an abandoned child. His Source of love had gone away.

Because Frank knew how to love himself, he knew how to love others. Within a couple of years, Frank was in another loving relationship.

Gary found another relationship within six months of losing Samantha, and six months after that was again alone. Until Gary decides to learn to take responsibility for his own feelings and needs, he will likely continue to lose relationship after relationship, and continue to be stuck in feeling like a victim of the women in his life.

Acknowledge Your Depression

Depression is an illness and needs to be acknowledged as such. It is not a reason to be ashamed. The reason so many people fail to seek help for their depression is that they are ashamed. Unfortunately, this is one of the feelings associated with depression anyway and makes the illness difficult to acknowledge.

If you are constantly feeling particularly low, well-meaning friends might tell you to “snap out of it” or even start to get irritated by your mood. Your depression will feed off this negativity and you start to wonder why you can’t just “snap out of it”. You then start to feel that there’s something wrong with you because it should be so easy and it’s just “not right” that you feel so bad all the time. Well, it’s not right and there is something wrong with you. You have a medical condition and you deserve treatment in the same way as any other patient. If you had a cold for six months would you ignore it and hope it would pass? No, you would dose yourself up with anything you could find and maybe see a doctor to find out if there’s an underlying reason for it to last so long.

Depression is sadness that lasts too long. Everyone is sad at some point in their lives but depression is more than that. It is a feeling that you can’t bring yourself up from the bottom. In the end you give up trying. People start to avoid you. You feel worse. You need to find external help to treat the problem in the same way as you would if you had a long-lasting cold. You could try herbal remedies – there are some in your pharmacy – or you could see your doctor. There may be an underlying physical cause for your depression.

If your doctor cannot help you they may refer you for counselling. Don’t be embarrassed to go for counselling but do make sure you are comfortable with your counsellor. If not, try another one. Counselling should not be discounted because you don’t feel comfortable with your first choice of practitioner. In everyday life you will naturally find that you get on with some people and clash with others. You cannot afford to have a personality clash with your counsellor. On the other hand you must be sure that it is a personality clash and not just that you don’t agree with what they are saying. A general rule is to go with your instincts. If you like the person and seemed to get on well in the first couple of sessions then stick with it because they might just have touched on the root cause of your problem.

In some cases, acknowledging depression may be difficult because you have lived with it so long that you don’t know whether it is depression or not. If you have grown up with depression it is possible not to realise that you are actually depressed because you have no concept of how normal people should feel. You may feel angry all the time or you may feel like going to the middle of an empty field and simply screaming. You may feel anxious, have trouble sleeping or even sleep too much. You may think that your family would be better off without you (and actually believe that to be true) and may have considered running away or suicide. You may worry about death all the time (yours or someone else’s) and not let yourself be happy just in case…… (or even “I must enjoy this now in case………..”). If you are feeling any or all of the above then you need to consider talking to someone. Even if it is just a friend or family member to start with, they may be able to advise you and encourage you to seek professional help.

Once you have acknowledged that you have depression please remember that it is a medical condition and can be cured. You don’t have to feel this way for ever. Nobody actually thinks of you the way you think they do. Talk to someone. Seek and accept help and you will find that there is a different way of seeing life.

10 Proven Tips To Get What You Want!

Are you stuck?!

Are you trying hard to achieve your simplest dreams but you seem to be standing on the same square without moving a step forward?

Now, I will give you the super-smart proven success recipe that will help you get what you want faster and easier than before. This success recipe is your way to live a purposeful life and achieve your goals.

Get ready to unleash the power of your dreams.

1. Make Meaning!!

Make a meaning for your life and work. Do what you love and love what you do. Search for ways to live with passion. You are unique and you are here for a purpose. Find the reason of your existence. Describe your role in life in 3 or 4 words. Forget about these long, general and not memorable mission statements. Be very specific about what you are here to do in this life.


2. Have a Hot Vision!!

Have a HOT vision; a vision that really inspires you and triggers your greatness. Your vision must be clear and motivates you to transform it into reality. Make it hot. A hot vision gives you a tremendous amount of enthusiasm that makes you can’t stand still. Have a hot vision that keeps you alive and spices up your life. Have a hot vision that makes you an unstoppable achievement machine.

3. Design Milestones

Milestones are big goals and turning points in your journey. They are like indicators along the road to tell you that you are on the right track. Each milestone is a big achievement on your way to your ideal life.

4. Set Goals

Goals are small and specific tasks that define your action plan. Goals must be specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and timely. Each goal is a step towards achieving one of your big milestones.


5. Get Going

Take action. The only difference between an average individual and a super successful one is taking action. Get going. Take the first step and keep the momentum. Just start. Be flexible to changes and improvements.

6. Project Positive Energy

Be optimistic. Broadcast powerful positive energy and confidence over your own media network. Positive energy will attract positive results and opportunities. Become a magnet that attracts success 24/7. You will always receive the energy you project. If you project positive energy you will receive multiples of it and vice versa.

7. Act As If It Is Happening

Act as if your vision is happening. Act as if you will never fail. Act with confidence and power. Keep your vision in front of your mind’s eye day and night. Act as if you are living your vision. When you do that you will attract more opportunities and more success to your life.

8. Ignore the Doubters

Avoid negative people. They don’t have dreams and want everyone to be like them. They are dream robbers and energy vampires. Don’t care about what they say. Ignore anyone’s negativity and focus on what you want.

9. Face Fear and Uncertainty

Develop confidence and trust in yourself. If you don’t believe in yourself and your dreams no one will do. Face your fears. Fear will do nothing except stopping you from getting what you want. Let your dreams give you the power to face fear and uncertainty.

10. Create a Master Mind!!

Find a team with the same interests and dreams then work and think together. Have a soul mate who cares about achieving the same level of success as you do. Gather around yourself people more brilliant than you. Develop a strong network of influencers who can help you get what you want easily and quickly.

My friend, these 10 proven tips form the best success recipe I have ever known. I used this recipe to achieve levels of success that I always dreamt of. These are the common tips which are used by the top successful people in the world.

Follow this success recipe and you will become a huge success magnet that attracts success beyond your imagination.

It is all about your action. Do it now!!

A New Years Resolution To Stop Smoking – How To Keep To It Beyond Jan 2nd?

So, here you are again. Seeing out the old year, along with its broken promises and failed, good intentions.

You arrive, fresh with newly found conviction, after the excesses of the Christmas period, at the New Year’s resolution, an annual triumph of hope over reality!

Hope, that this time you will have the single mindedness to succeed, where last time you failed. I’m not suggesting for a moment that you do not want to succeed, I’m sure that your desire to stop smoking is genuine, but here’s the reality, it’s a hope, a dream and what’s the point in having dreams if you’re not going to make them happen?

You may dream of winning the lottery and yes, you could win! But it’s down to chance and you have a better chance of flying to the moon, than of winning the lottery.

Making a real change to your life? Well that’s a dream you can, make happen! And you can start right here, right now.

The problem with New Year resolutions lies in the forward planning. Moving towards a significant target date in your life, to contemplate doing something that you know is going to be a struggle, makes it even harder to live up to your own expectations.

Of course you’re not looking forward to it! What do you expect? As you begin to experience a steady build-up of tension, leading up to the big day when you’re finally going to start putting right everything that’s wrong with your life!

No pressure there then! I’m sure you’ll feel ready to start on that day!

In the meantime of course, you now have the perfect excuse to behave badly, because it doesn’t really matter if you let yourself go over Christmas does it? You can do everything to excess. It won’t really matter! After all, you deserve to have one last binge before the deprivations of the coming year ahead!

If you believe that, then you’re delusionary. You’re just fooling yourself because it makes you feel better at the moment. It’s the high, before the deep low that will inevitably follow and damage your self-esteem, sabotaging your chance of success even before you start.

Wake up and smell the coffee!!

Do you really want to stop smoking? Then do something about it, NOW!
Clear the house of all the things that you know will prevent you, NOW!
Do not put aside an emergency packet “just in case”, that’s just planning for failure!
No “last one for old times sake”
Do it NOW – as you read this article.
Don’t put it off until tomorrow, because tomorrow never comes!

How we think and feel about ourselves is often the difference between happiness and success, or frustration and failure, therefore success and real lasting changes, only comes from changing the way we think. We are all products of our own thinking.

So, every thought we think has an impact on us. We respond to our negative thoughts and to our positive thoughts. If you have a history of failing to live up to your own expectations, your memories are loaded with negative programming.

No matter how much conscious effort you put into changing your habits, your subconscious mind is flooding your body with negative messages that have been ingrained for years.

You can however, change the way you think about stopping smoking using the help of hypnotherapy DVD’s.
Many people trying to give up smoking, struggle to maintain willpower. They feel that they need help and are often too embarrassed to admit to anyone that they have a problem. Now, many sufferers of low motivation and low confidence and self-esteem, are benefiting from hypnotherapy treatment, which can literally change peoples lives for the better.

Your life will improve if you begin to believe in yourself and your abilities, you will feel respected, giving you that extra boost to increase motivation, and your enthusiasm will increase noticeably. Some people say it feels like magic because it is so easy to make powerful changes. Hypnotherapy simply allows you to access the resources you already have in your subconscious mind.

Desire to make changes is good. Taking action to start something is even better. Let’s assume that you’ve decided right now, to start making the changes that you want. If you have tried before and failed, you need a support structure put into place as quickly as possible, to help you to maintain your resolve and to keep your thought processes focused on your goals. A hypnotherapy DVD program for home use can help. You certainly don’t want to be obsessing about smoking all the time.

You can succeed and you can quit smoking for good. You will have success this time if you make sure that you put an effective support system into place as soon as possible.
What’s stopping you from stopping?

So, don’t wait to make any New Year resolutions at midnight on the 31st of December, decide to start making the changes that you want to make in your life, RIGHT NOW!

Do something different this time.

A Change will do you Good

As the last rays of summer’s warmth ebb away and the gentle breezes of autumn waft themselves upon us, we recognize once again, that change is inevitable. Nature is constantly changing and yet, so many people have the notion that change is frightening.

People are creatures of habit and some find it difficult to adjust to changes that are certain to come our way. Life is like an old, comfortable pair of shoes. We may realize that we need new ones and we may even find new ones we really like, but, we know that changing will cause us discomfort for a little while until we break them in.

Sometimes we need to realize that life isn’t always easy. What may be better for us is not what we are used to, but it is certainly worth the trouble of breaking in new habits and lifestyle changes.

Change does not have to be painful. Just look to nature and it will give you clues to how change can be effortless. The beautifully colored autumn leaves do not hang on to the old tree for dear life. No, they yield to the changes with ease and float gently off the tree.

With the coming of autumn we have been busy in our gardens pulling up the old stuff and getting ready for a time of rest. We know that the ground must rest and next year there will be more wonderful things in our garden to delight us.

Are there things in your life that need to be gently eased out of your life? Maybe there are bad relationships or habits or thoughts that need to be weeded out of your life. Don’t be afraid to do a little gardening in your own life.

Every gardener knows that unless we get to the roots, we really are not getting rid of the problem. It may go away for awhile but unless we get to the root, it will sneak back into the garden very quickly.

Although the harvest time is here there is no time to stop weeding the garden of our minds. This garden needs constant attention in order for us to flourish and be all that we can be. The only way to keep this garden in top shape is to make sure that no weeds are there trying to strangle any good we are trying to do. The weeds of our mind, of course are negative thoughts that like to creep in and keep us from achieving that which we are striving for.

William James said, “Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.

How do we change the inner attitudes of our minds? By changing the way we think. We must put fear and negativity behind us. How, you ask? Just as the leaves of autumn gently blow from the tree, don’t try and make a change in your thinking over night and expect to get instant results. We cannot rip these thoughts out of our minds, as much as we would like to sometimes. No, we need to be gentle on ourselves and let positive thoughts replace the negative.

Yes it will take some work on your part. You must constantly fill your mind with positive thoughts. Proverbs 27: 3 says, As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. We are what we think. When the negative thoughts come into your mind, you must be ready and willing to replace those thoughts with positive ones. Just say to yourself, no, I won’t let that thought take over my mind, I will think positively. Affirmations are good to have readily available so you can replace the negative thought with the positive one. It won’t be easy, it won’t be hard either, it will just be different, like that new pair of shoes we were talking about earlier.

The autumn leaves fall to make way for new life. We too must go through changes that will bring new growth to our bodies, souls and spirits.

Change is inevitable, so why fight it? Why be afraid of it? Yes, change will require us to do a bit of readjusting but it is always worth it. Don’t be afraid of change, a change will do you good.

Having A Creative Imagination

Creative imagination is more than just active imagination. To be able to actively imagine things, to see and hear things in one's mind, is an important ability. It doesn't have to involve much creativity, though, does it? Daydreaming, for example, is a process of imagination. It can consist of an elaborate fantasy world, but one full of all the things that many people think about.

Creative imagination, then, has to include the ability not just to imagine things, but to imagine original things. It is seeing things that others don't see, and coming up with new ideas. So how do you cultivate this?

Creative Imagination 101

First, exercise your basic imagination. It can be as simple as thinking in pictures more, or listening to music in your mind. Play little "movies" in your mind, until you can watch them on command. This is a simple process, but for those of us that can't easily do it naturally, it can take a lot of practice. Fortunately, it is not an unpleasant activity.

The second part of developing your creative imagination is to get more creative in your thinking and imagining. Start by paying attention to your creativity. Our subconscious minds give us more of what we pay attention to. Ignore creative aspects of your life, and you're telling your subconscious they are unimportant. On the other hand, if you note when you're creative, your subconscious mind will start feeding you more creative ideas.

Different surroundings can also encourage your creativity. Want more creativity in your love life? Hike up a mountain with your partner. Do you write? Try sitting on a roof to write. Want new ideas for your business? Take a notebook to the park and sit by the duck pond. A change of environment can get your thinking out of it's ruts.

You can play games that exercise your creative imagination. One such game uses a technique called "concept combination." Alone or with other players, you combine random concepts or things in new ways, to see who has the best idea. A thermometer and a billboard, for example, could generate an idea for a sign that checks the weather and adjusts the message accordingly ("Come in out of the heat for a cold beverage," or "Come in out of the rain and warm up with our gourmet coffee.").

Don't Wait For Creative Imagination

Creative inspiration certainly can strike at any time, but it strikes more often when there is work instead of waiting. So if you want to come up with creative inventions, start mentally redesigning everything you see. Imagine a better bicycle, a faster mail service, or a better chair. Continue this for three weeks, and it will become a habit.

Of course, creative imagination goes beyond solving specific problems or inventing things. Truly creative minds are always coming up with the questions too, not just the solutions. If you want to be more creative all the time, focus on three things:

1. Changing your perspective. A child might think that working just to not work (to retire) is silly. Thinking from that perspective might give you ideas for how to make money doing things you enjoy. Seeing the world as a bear sees it might give a painter imaginative new ideas. Looking at things from a customer's perspective is a sure way to find creative improvements for a business. See everything from several perspectives.

2. Challenging your assumptions. What if restaurants didn't have employees? Visitors pay a machine as they enter, feed themselves at a buffet, and everything is as automated as possible, so one owner-operator could run a large restaurant alone. Challenge all your assumptions for practice. Do you really have to pay rent? Do swimming pools need water? Can exercise be a bad thing?

3. Let your ideas run wild. Does a flying bed seem silly? It could lead to the concept of a helium mattress. When you get off it in the morning, it floats out of the way, up to the ceiling. Perfect for small apartments. Don't stifle your creativity. Relax, and let ideas come. You can always discard them later.

For these techniques to be a habitual part of your thinking, use them regularly. Since it takes several weeks to develop a habit, remind yourself to use them each day. Jot a few of your favorite techniques on a card and carry it with you. Look it over throughout the day and apply the techniques to anything. Soon, you'll have a more creative imagination.

9 Steps To Living Abundantly

Many of us are bowed down by life – stressed, short of time, tired, on a treadmill, knowing that this isn’t the way to live, but not knowing how to free ourselves up to live more fully, more abundantly. There are simple things we can do – they don’t take time or money – they take a change of attitude. Here are 9 of them:

1. Being totally financially honest – if you are not, this implies that there is not enough for you to have everything you need without dishonesty.

2. Creating a vacuum so that more good things can flow into it – don’t fill your life up with things you don’t really want. Ask yourself if you want each thing before you buy it. Don’t have abundant rubbish, live abundantly by seeking out the things and experiences that work for you in your core being.

3. Tithing is often associated with religion, but it is also possible to tithe in a non-religious context. This seems a really important aspect of living abundantly – every time you freely give money away, you are implying that you are confident that more will come – this is a BIG positive affirmation with a lot of power behind it. The traditional amount is 10% of your income. I’ve recommended this to lots of people, and they’ve told me that when they do this – magically - they seem to have more. I started with 10% but now I’ve increased it, because I’ve seen that the more I give away the more I get back, and the happier and more abundantly I live.

4. Being grateful for what you already have – focusing on the good that is already in your life. It’s easy to think about what you don’t have, but spend some time each day thinking about what you do have. Start each day by thinking of 5 things that you are grateful for – and express this out loud.

5. Resentment, jealousy, envy and self-pity interfere with the free-flow of abundance. If you are jealous or envious of someone, it implies that what they have is not available for you to have also. If you find it difficult to let go of these feelings, Bach flower remedies may help. Try the emedy ‘willow’ to counteract resentment and self-pity, or try ‘holly’ for envy, jealousy and greed.

6. Forgiving those that have wronged you is part of living abundantly. Holding on to your anger, however justifiable it may seem, keeps you stuck in the past, rather than going forward into a better future. If it’s difficult to let go of your negative feelings, try writing a letter expressing all your anger, hurt or envy. Write until you can write no more, and then burn it.

7. Being able to receive from other people. Being able to receive is healthy, but many people find it difficult. You may need to practice receiving. Think of the pleasure you get in giving. By not receiving generously you are denying other people the pleasure of giving.

8. Realize that in general ‘good luck’ plays a very small part in people’s life. (If you put your faith in good luck, then you have to accept the possibility of bad luck too.) People who put their faith in ‘good luck’ often spend their lives waiting for things to happen. People who don’t believe in luck go out and make things happen.

9. Believing that there is enough money, food, love, etc. in the world to meet everyone’s needs to live abundantly. I left this one till the last, because it can be very hard to believe when faced with war and starvation in the newspapers and on the TV, but a lot of this anger and need is caused because people who have do not believe they have enough, because they substitute money and food for all the other abundance of life. Do your bit to correct that imbalance and start living a life that recognizes there are inequalities and shortages, but recognizes that we can correct that so we all have what we need.

There you have it, now what are you going to do about living your life abundantly?

Alone But Not Lonely

In today’s fast paced society, we’ve become accustomed to filling the eeriness of silence with fluff. We turn to many distractions as a means of escaping feelings of idleness or boredom. But the main thing we wish to elude is loneliness. Solitude does not have to alienating or lonesome. In fact, solitude and loneliness are distinctly separate.

The death of a loved one or the inability to find people who understand you can leave you feeling isolated. Webster’s dictionary plainly describes loneliness as “being without companions.” It’s natural to experience an emptiness while longing for love or acceptance. Loneliness is therefore an emotive state that can be experienced whether or not one is physically alone.

It was Geoffrey F. Fisher who said, “In the city no one is quiet but many are lonely; in the country, people are quiet but few are lonely.”

We tend to fill loneliness with all types of distractions. For example, some single women would rather spend a Friday night with a man they have no genuine interest in, than spend the night alone. They long for a way of killing time while they await the man they are actually seeking. Then there are young adults who are involved in cliques where they can’t really relate to their companions. However, they would rather feel accepted on a superficial level than risk feeling outcast. So what is it about being alone that scares us?

Do not be spooked by the unfamiliarity of silence. Silence can be an amazing thing. It teaches you how to truly listen. It teaches you to pay attention to what’s going on inside of you. Only when we are alone, can we have the space and peace we need to think without being outwardly influenced. It therefore becomes easier to make important decisions as well as identify whatever feelings are culminating within.

Get in touch with yourself so that you can make conscious decisions rather than simply react to emotions. Appreciate the time you have to yourself. Let the peace and understanding you find better equip you for the commotion of today’s world.

7 Surprisingly Quick And Easy Ways To Feel Happier

All of us have days when we're out of sorts. You just wish you were in a better mood. You've had days like that, haven't you? Perhaps you tried to get yourself into a better state of mind but struggled to achieve it.

Sometimes we get stuck in our own emotional dumps and forget how easy it is to feel happier, so here are seven simple ways to lift your mood. Many people have found them useful. Some of them may surprise you!


1. Go for a walk.

Most people know that going for a short daily walk is one of the best forms of exercise. When you are feeling down it is even more beneficial. If you can, go into a natural environment with plants and birds. Can you think of such a setting not? What do you notice first? The different shades of greenery, the fresh smell of country air, the sounds of birds, or the sunlight shining through the trees? Make it real by taking a short stroll.

2. Listen to quality music.

Music can shift a listener's state within moments. It's effect can be nearly magical. Dig out that CD you haven't listened to in ages or tune in your radio to something you've never listened to before.


3. Open yourself to discovering something new.

Read something (printed, not on line) different than what you would normally watch. There are a ton of different types of magazines can you get these days. Visit your local library or browse through a magazine rack. Pick up or buy a magazine you wouldn't normally buy. You may discover something wonderful.

4. Find something to laugh at.

Laughter is one of the best ways to lift your spirits. Find a humorous book, or watch a comedy. Even better, try to learn a few new jokes and tell them to others.

5. Simple breathing meditation.

Breathing meditation is a great exercise that you can do anywhere. Simply allow yourself to sit comfortably with your back straight. Now close your eyes and become aware of the flow of air into and out of your nostrils. That's all there is to it. Do this for 10-15 minutes. Notice how pleasantly surprised you can be at how you feel afterward.

6. Doodling for the fun of it.

Most people can remember when they were young and used to doodle for hours. Kids love drawing silly little pictures. Drawing is not just for kids or artists. Whoever you are get some pens, pencils, crayons or whatever you have and just draw for the fun of it. Notice how your state of mind shifts.

7. Think of others less fortunate.

The fact that you are reading this article suggests that you are probably much better off than most people on this planet. At times this may be hard to believe, but if you can read and have access to the internet, just those two things alone means you are better off than most people in the world. There are many human beings that barely have access to the basics of survival. There are people in lots of pain. Allow your compassion for them to grow.

These are all pretty simple. There's nothing profound or life changing, but when all you need is a quick pick me up these may be just the thing you need. Putting simple ideas, methods, tools and techniques into action will help you achieve change more quick and easily--surprisingly so at time-- than you imagine.

Start Thinking Clearer In 10 Steps

Does your mind sometimes feel like a television station you can't quite tune in? You know there's an interesting program on - or several, but everything is mixed with static. What if you could "tune in" at will, have clear thinking whenever you want it? Try some of the following.

Ten Clear Thinking Techniques And Tips

1. Take a walk. Science will eventually prove this to be a great way to improve the quality of your thinking, but don't wait for the proof. Aren't there enough other reasons to take a walk anyhow?

2. Stay away from sugar. If you want to understand what brain fog is, eat a sugary donut on an empty stomach, then do math problems twenty minutes later. What you will experience, along with the "sugar blues," is brain fog. At least lay off sugar and simple carbohydrates when you need to think clearly.

3. Organized space means clear thinking. It's rare that a person can actually work better in clutter. Organized working space means you won't have the thought "where is that..." distracting your mind.

4. Get better sleep. Sleep requirements vary, but the minimum for most is somewhere around five hours. Some suffer if they sleep less than eight hours. The research, however, indicates that after a certain minimum quantity, the quality of sleep is more important to normal brain function.

5. Try meditating. No time? Just close your eyes, relax, and watch your breath for a while. Accept that your mind will wander, but continually return your attention to your breath. Five minutes of this, and afterwards you'll feel a boost in your brainpower.

6. Resolve your "mind irritations." Watch your busy brain. Maybe a call you need to make has been bothering you, just below consciousness. Find these stressors, and do something to let them go. For example, make that call, or put it on a list, and your mind will let go of it for now. Just seeing a problem and saying, "There's nothing I can do about this until Friday," will often stop unconscious worrying.

7. Don't drink alcohol. At least don't drink too much. While moderate amounts can be conducive to creative thinking, all the evidence says that it is bad for the long-term health of your brain.

8. Make decisions quickly. Nothing gets in the way of clear thinking like a dozen decisions hanging around unmade. If nothing else, decide when you'll make the decision.

9. Get some fresh air. Go outside and breath deeply through your nose. You'll get a good dose of oxygen to your brain, and the change of surroundings can help clear your mind.

10. Satisfy your physical needs. Clear thinking is easier if you aren't too hungry, thirsty, or hot.

You can think more clearly starting today. There are certainly more than ten ways, but you really only need to make a few of them a habit to have a more powerful brain. Why not try one or two right now click here!

How Great is the Strength of Your Belief?

Be careful what you believe because that is what you will experience. Your belief system is a mechanism which is uniquely yours. It is powered by your desire and controlled by your thoughts and actions. In other words, your success is measured by the strength of your belief.

What is it that you desire? Often people do not have a clue what it is they want, they just know what they do not want. Now is a good time to evaluate your goals and determine the end result you want to achieve. Put your goals in writing and place them where you can see them throughout the day. Read them frequently to keep them fresh on your mind.

• Be inquisitive. Research and learn as much as you can on how you can achieve your goal. Use all possible resources such as books, CDs, courses and people. Yes, people. Talk to as many people as possible who are already successful in what you want to achieve. Ask, ask and ask some more about what they did to reach success. Do not limit your contacts to only the people you already know. Introduce yourself by phone or mail, explain your purpose for contacting them and ask for a tip. The worst thing that can happen is that they ignore you. The best thing that can happen is that they become your mentor and offer support and encouragement. Chances are you will receive at least one great tip from many of the people you contact. This method is the least expensive and most rewarding.

• Be unique. Next, take the ideas you learn, embellish them and come up with your own creative process. Think of how you can approach your goal in a way that no one else has. Dare to be different. Don’t be afraid to take risks. What do you have to loose? Write out a list showing the worst things that could happen and then list all of the best possible outcomes. Always maintain your concentration on your desired result.

• Be better than your competition. When you were a child and saw your older siblings or friends riding a bike (without training wheels), you didn’t look at their scraped knees and elbows and say, “Whoa, I could get hurt doing that.” Instead, you begged to try it for yourself. With a great deal of practice and often pain, you gradually learned how to maintain your balance. Before long you were trying to “out do” your friends with your speed or fancy tricks. When you fell, you would get back on and try again with even greater determination. From your very first effort, you believed in your mind that if you got back on, you would eventually learn to ride. I bet you even knew in your mind you would be the best in the neighborhood, in your school, in the state, in the world!

• Be positive. If you see obstacles before you, then you will also only see problems. If you have hesitations that you plan will not work, then it will not work. If you are influenced by the power of negative people, then you will never be any better than they are. Believe in yourself and what you are capable of achieving.

When your desire to succeed is stronger than the pain, fear or frustration of failing, there is no turning back. I challenge you to view your goals just like you did when you were a child before you learned about self doubt and negative criticism. Remember, anything is possible as long as you believe. Make a commitment that you will not let anything or anyone, including yourself stand in your way of reaching your goals.

The more you believe in yourself, the more your confidence grows.

3 Simple Keys to Getting Rid of Your Fear

Fear is your enemy – no other way to describe it. I’m not talking about that natural life preserving action along with a major boost of adrenalin that happens if a wild animal is coming at you. I’m talking about the fears people live with day in and day out.

Fear is your enemy. Someone once described fear as, “Sand in the machinery of life.” Fear doesn’t help you, it hinders you. Fear doesn’t get you through an open door; it keeps you in the hallway. Fear never helps you put your best foot forward; it just keeps both of your feet in cement.

The psychology of today is, “Learn to live with your fears”, “Embrace your fears”, “It’s normal to have fears – everybody does.”

It’s true; lots of people do have fears. And there are people who are trying to learn how to live with their fears, and embrace them.

But if it’s “normal” to have fears, then why would the Bible talk about being delivered from all your fears?

Think about it - if it’s normal to have fears, and you had no fears, then you would be abnormal, right? Well why would God want you to be abnormal?

He doesn’t. He truly desires for you to be set free from all your fears.

There are many facets and aspects of fear. One of the big ones is having fear of what others think of you. People do things, say things, and even buy things because of the fear that they have of what others think.

Many times people join clubs or organizations because they are afraid that if they don’t, others might think badly of them.

People say things and talk a certain way because they are afraid that they might not say the right thing in front of the right people.

People purchase items because of fear not measuring up to those around them. And on and on it goes.

You don’t have to live with fear. Here are 3 simple keys to getting rid of fear.

First, start by realizing that God truly loves you and that His love for you is unconditional. The Bible teaches that nothing can separate you from His love. Nothing. His love for you does not change, ever!

Second, ask God to help you to get rid of all your fears. He has promised to deliver you from all your fears. That is His desire for you – a life without fear.

Third, make decisions based on what is best for you, not how it may or may not appear to others. You’ll never, ever be able to please everyone, so stop trying to. You’ll never, ever be right in everybody’s eyes, so stop trying to.

When you make a decision, ask yourself, “Why am I making this decision? Is it based on fear?” Make decisions based on what is right and best for your life, regardless of what others think.

You can live without fear. Eliminate your fears once and for all!

10 Ways to Reduce Commuting Stress

Do you get out of your car with a queasy stomach, a headache and your blood pressure registering through the roof? If you do, that energy vulture called stress may have sent your pulse skyrocketing. In a study conducted at the University of California at Irvine, researchers found that the stress of commuting takes a major toll on health. According to the study, it has direct physiological effects of raising blood pressure and releasing stress hormones into the body. Not only that, long commutes (more than 18 miles one way) may also increase the likelihood of having a heart attack due to exposure to high levels of air pollutants, which appears to be a risk factor for heart disease.

Although there is no antidote to stressful commuting, there are lots of ways to shoo off the energy vulture. Here's how to thrive while you drive.


1. Prepare in advance

One of the best ways to lessen the strain of road rage is to prepare everything the night before. Clothes, documents, attache cases, and even packed lunches should be set the day before to avoid the morning rush. With everything champing at the bit, you'd save plenty of time to do your morning routines, devour a good breakfast and enjoy special moments with the family. Best of all, you can dash out the highway free of traffic congestion.

2. Sleep well and wake up early

A good night's sleep rejuvenates the body. Make it a habit to have enough sleep and to rise early. If you are already stressed out the day before, an incomplete repose takes over cumulative stress effects into your life at work and at home. Your frustration levels at work eventually rises, your brainpower falters, and your mood at home sours. You have no energy left for enjoying life.

3. Juggle your work hours

Why pack the freeways with all the other "9-to-5"ers when you can try a ten-to-six or an eight-to-four shift? Depending on your company's work policy, try to check out other shifts that fit your lifestyle. Choose one that would help you get rid of energy-depleting stress and allow you to lighten your highway woes.

4. Share your ride

It may be a hassle to coordinate your arrival and departure with another person or two, but carpooling is worth it. Studies show that ride sharing lowers commuter stress significantly. With carpooling, there is less air and noise pollution, less traffic congestion, and you can relax more while someone else does the driving.

5. "Cocoon" in your car

Instead of getting worked up when traffic is at a standstill, utilize your time wisely. Listen to the radio or pop in some music tapes to take your mind off the stop-and-go driving and traffic tie-ups. If you like to read but just can't have time to flip pages of a book, check out books on cassette. Many libraries have full-length books on tape as well as abridged versions. You can even learn a new language or do some car exercises like shoulder rolls, neck extensions and tummy tucks to help you stay awake and relax.

6. Pillow your back and squirm

When you're standing, the lumbar area of your spine (the lower portion) normally curves inward, toward your abdomen. However, when you're sitting, it tends to slump outward squeezing your spinal disks and putting stress on them. According to back expert Malcolm Pope, Ph.D.,director of the Iowa Spine Research Center at the University of Iowa, it helps to support your back by tucking a rolled towel or a pillow in that lumbar section. In cases of longer drives, since sitting in one position for longer than 15 minutes gradually stiffens you even with a back pillow, make necessary adjustments for a comfy ride. For instance, you can try putting most of your weight on one buttock and then the other. Then, shift the position of your seat or your buttocks slightly. You may even try sliding down in your seat and sit up again for fun.

7. Work out after work

Since the evening rush is worse than the morning rush because of the compounded fatigue from the workday, it is best to wait out the traffic. Work out at a gym near your office or take meditation classes to relieve your stress. If you plan to go to dinner, see a movie or go shopping, try to do these things near work, delaying your departure enough to miss the maddening rush.

8. Give yourself a break

It may be a good idea to give yourself some day off from work. Many companies today offer compressed working hours or longer working days to give way to work-free days for you to unwind.

9. Move your office

If your job is a long drive ahead everyday, inquire at work if the company would allow you to work at home some days of the week or if you can work near your place. An alternative work schedule would make you feel less tense and in control thereby reducing stress.

10. Occasionally change your routine

An occasional change of commuting habits may be advisable too. Try walking or bicycling sometimes for a change. There's nothing like a good walk to ease tension especially when it means you don't have to get in your car and fight rush hour traffic.


By lessening the stress of getting to work, you are conserving enormous amounts of energy that may be lost over stressful commuting. It doesn't only leave you a lot more energy to do your job and become more productive but it also makes you feel good and gives you a good reason to always start your day right.

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Finding Ways To Improve Your Lifestyle

Are you looking at ways to improve your lifestyle? Are you bored in your current role of employment? Do you think you could be achieving a lot more than you are at the moment? Are you seeking a new challenge? In this article, I give advice on how people can go about improving their lifestyle, this advice is based from my own personal experiences.

I believe that we should always be looking into ways of expanding our knowledge and should never just accept second best. The brain is very powerful and loves to be set a new challenge or to a learn a new task. It is what keeps it alive and ticking over. I am sure that we have all heard of the phrase, I think this job is making me brain dead. This is where someone has a role in employment that is not challenging them or their brain, and this can lead them into a state of boredom and even depression. Their mind and brains are desperate for something to get to grips with and something to test them.

I am always looking into finding new areas of life which I can learn about. Just recently I have been attempting to educate myself on the ins and outs of website promotion. This is something which is of great interest to me and I wanted to find out about how you can increase the amount of visitors you have to a website. I have spent a great deal of time studying this area and even though I feel that I have learnt a great deal, I would love to know a lot more. What I like about website promotion and website marketing is that the search engines are constantly changing their ideas of how best to rank a site, as they are fighting a constant battle against spam. This certainly keeps me on my toes. One thing I have learnt in this and other fields is that hard work pays off and if you attempt to defraud the search engines you are more than likely going to be found out. That is a good thing in my opinion.

I also like to help out people on a voluntary basis. This is something I would advise other people to do if they have the spare time as it can give you a real buzz knowing that you are helping somebody and it also keeps you busy. A lot of people who have too much time on their hands can easily find themselves becoming restless and this can lead them into thinking too much. These thoughts are normally worrying about something or other which of course is not very healthy or productive.

The people I help out on a voluntary basis are my parents who run a form of animal sanctuary from their home. My parents are both in the sixties and struggle to look after the many animals that live with them. I normally spend around twenty hours a week at their house, cleaning out and feeding the fifty rabbits, walking the dogs and feeding the cats. It is not exactly the most interesting of things to do, but I know that it is helping take some of the burden away from my mother and father.

In the past I have also attended evening study classes. This again is where I am trying to improve my knowledge and is something of course that I can include on my c.v. It is also a great way of meeting new people which is something I like to do.

In conclusion there are many ways in which we can become happier and more contented. Our life does not have to be boring and mundane, there is always options out there of how we can go about improving our lifestyle. Good luck.

3 Positive Steps To Discover The Purpose Of Your Life

In this article we will discuss the concept of life and its underlying principle. We will be going through a step by step procedure, exploring your feelings and options, and by the end of this article, you should have a fairly solid tool you could immediately employ in your life, to give it a meaningful direction.

There are three steps to the process of discovering the purpose of your life:

Understanding the principle of choice
Creating your underlying principle
Aligning your life with the underlying principle

Understanding the principle of choice

Norman Vincent Peale has this to say about the power of choice. “The greatest power we have is the power of choice. It is an actual fact, that if you have been groping under unhappiness, you can choose to be joyous, instead. And, by effort, lift yourself into joy. If you tend to be fearful, you can overcome that misery by choosing to have courage. The whole trend and the quality of anyone’s life is determined by the choice that are made”.

Choosing is the most important activity of your mind, because by making a choice, you are proclaiming your desires to your subconscious mind. Once the subconscious mind get to know your desires, it is going to do anything to manifest them in your life. The choices you make in your life become your goal. And, if you are sincere in pursuing them, there is no reason why you should not accomplish them.

Indecision, on the other hand, not only creates frustration and anxiety, but can also confuse the subconscious mind about what you want. But it is important that the choices you make are made by you, in accordance with your true desires, purposes and aptitude. A lot us of let others make choices for us, or make our choices according to what we think is ‘correct’, even if that means that we go against our wishes. What is right for someone is may not be right for you, and the way to know this is listening to what your heart says.

So, begin with, make a list of things which interests you; things which you have always enjoyed, which makes you feel better, which inspires you to surge ahead, no matter what obstacles you face. Do you like doing something creative, or something artistic? Do you enjoy nature, do you like the sea? Do you enjoy helping others? Do you get pleasure out of making a difference in other people’s life?

What ever it is that interests you, go ahead and make a list under the following headlines:

Things you love to do:

______________________________________

What is it that you love in this thing and why? How you could do this for money, and make a living out of it?

__________________

__________________


Creating Your Underlying Principle:

The next step is to examine the list you just made and find out if there is any recurring them. Maybe, it is the contribution that keeps coming up, or an effect to seek or give love, or helping your parents cope with old age. Whatever it is try to identify the central them of the things you love to do, and try to put it in a short and precise statement. This will be your ‘Mission Statement’. It may even be a quote by a famous person, or a philosophy that has influenced you. Of course, as you grow up, this statement could evolve, but its soul will remain the same. Now, write down your Mission Statement.

Aligning your LIFE with the Underlying Principle:

The final step in this journey is to map your path to your ultimate purpose. Make the little changes in your lifestyle that would accommodate this principle in your life. LIVE this principle each and every day. It might take a few days, but you will certainly feel the difference in your enthusiasm for life. If you realize that you love being amidst nature, plan out your holiday. Maybe an outing with your children could be enough to recoup with your energy. On the other hand, you might even want to change your job, or start a new business, that is more in line with your mission.

Remember – “Do what you love, and money will follow” and your self esteem will never be a problem.

3 Ways to Use the Secret in Your Life

The first thing everyone wants to know after watching the move the secret is, “How do I use the Secret?” That’s understandable because although the movie is good and it does introduce you to the law of attraction it does not quite tell you how to properly apply it to your life.


The First Step

One of the first things you can do in using the secret law of attraction in y our life is to educate yourself as much as possible on the subject of the law of attraction. Learn the very nature of the law of attraction and how it influences your life.

The core of the secret, are your thoughts which goes a lot deeper than negative verses positive thought. If you understood the truly nature of thought you would be a huge step above those who think they understand the law of attraction.


The Second Step

The second step to mastering the secret law of attraction is to get a journal and begin to write. Do you know most people have no clue what their predominant thought patters is, nor do they even know what it is that they want.

When you get a journal you can begin to explore your feelings on a much deeper level. Seeing your feelings on paper clears it up from being cluttered in your mind.


The Third Step

The third step to using the secret law of attraction is to take small inspired action towards your goals. With your new law of attraction journal you can begin to track daily every action you take that is in alignment with your goals. Its very hard for most people to be aware of the way they spend their time. When you set a specific plan and track it in your journal you have a better change of seeing how your week has gone, your month and then your year.

Much time can pass with many of us taking the same tiresome actions that get us the same lousy results again and again. Then many people say that the law of attraction did not work in their lives but actually the law of attraction did work. It simply worked to give you more of the same conditions you were creating again and again.

There are 11 forgotten secrets to the law of attraction, find out what they are click here!

3 Things That Can Save You When You Don’t Know What To Say

You are dating a beautiful but a shy girl or one that is not a talkie. You have already talked about your hobbies, your families and your jobs and nothing else come into your mind and she is not really helping you (that’s what you believe).

One of the best ways of having a good, healthy and wholesome chat with your girlfriend is to start with small talk. The small talk will give you a general picture about her likes and dislikes, as well as what she would like to discuss and what she would rather leave alone. Once the small talk gives you a general idea, you
can go ahead and discuss your common likes and dislikes.

But what is really freaking you are those moment of silence. Uhh... horrible moments. :) The key to avoid or get over these horrible moments are:

1. Compliment her

The fact is most people are shy about meeting new people. I used to be enormously shy. But when you think about it, shyness is merely a fear that others won't like you, or that you may be rejected in some way. It's natural for us to desire acceptance. So try to make her know that you like her by making a compliment. But find something that you really find attractive about her, about her lifestyle or her personality. She will become more confident and more open to share her believes and her shyness won’t be a problem for a fluid conversation.

2. Asking open questions

How you ask questions is very important in establishing a basis for an effective
communication. Effective questions open the door to knowledge and understanding. The art of questioning lies in knowing which questions to ask when.

My favorites questions are "why" and "how" questions. You can use these frequently without being annoying. She will feel that you are interested in what she is telling you and will develop her answers.

Therefore, you should think carefully before speaking and taking up subjects that might be repugnant to her.

3. Listen, listen, and listen.

Usually when the woman starts talking about her favorite subjects (feelings, family,
relationships, friends and her work) many men lose interest or bring the conversation back to themselves. This is one of the biggest mistake men are doing all the time.

They also like to exchange jokes and anecdotes and spend a fair amount of time playing one-up and boasting. Stop doing that!!!

Allow HER to have HER points of view, while you have yours. Men have felt like they have either had to abandon their own beliefs in order to try to get a woman, OR they had to fight with women about what they believe in. Both approaches lead
to failure.

She is not there with you just to hear about your hero "qualities", but to have a great time!

5 Quick Stress Busters

Stress is fast becoming the biggest health problem in modern societies. Financial pressures, work pressures, family pressures – so much to do so little time to do it all! Here’s five quick ways to ease the pressure and relieve stress:

1. Make time to switch off from the daily trials and tribulations and relax for at least one hour every day. Just shut the world out and do something you enjoy. Reading, playing a musical instrument, taking a relaxing bath with music and candles (and maybe a glass of wine) are all great ways to unwind and will be extremely beneficial to your mental health.

2. If you’re dealing with a stressful situation and you have a lot on your plate then it can be very hard to find solutions. You’re caught up in the midst of a sandstorm and it is very difficult to see the way out. A good idea is to get some distance from your problems so you can gather your thoughts. If possible, take a day or even a weekend away from your usual surroundings, somewhere peaceful, and relax. Take a journal along so you can jot down any ideas. Distance away from problems can bring clarity and by relaxing, you’ll be calmer and solutions will come far easier than when you’re in the heat of battle.

3. One of the reasons people become stressed is because they are facing a change or even a number of changes to their lives. Change is a constant in life and refusing to accept change can cause stress levels to soar. When you are faced with a change, try to find the positives associated with change and embrace change instead of resisting it. Every change presents an opportunity for you to grow and there are always positives to find in even the most trying of circumstances. Change doesn’t bring stress, it’s all about how you react to change and if you react in a negative way, you will do yourself no end of harm.

4. There always seems to be an endless list of jobs that need doing: repairs around the home, paperwork, car maintenance, throwing out junk, cleaning the patio, weeding the garden – on and on and on! The more we put them off, the more the list grows and the more they contribute to your stress levels. So make a list of all of these chores and then schedule something I call a “Blitz Day”. On this day, you will rise early and spend the whole day sorting out each of these jobs. Take few breaks and only have a quick bite at lunchtime and just blitz through these irritating but necessary tasks. This will get rid of them, you’ll lower the stress they cause but more importantly, you’ll realize just how effective and industrious you can be when you apply the full force of your will to accomplish things.

5. Treat yourself to a pamper day. This is a day where you escape from the hustle and bustle of everyday living and enjoy some stress-free time. You’ll also feel great and give your well being a huge boost. On this day, have a light workout, a swim, a sauna, a Jacuzzi, a steam room. A massage would be nice and if you have access to one, a Turkish baths will give you an invigorating experience. Try to do this at least once a month, it is an excellent stress-buster.

The 5 Tips here will help you to significantly reduce your stress levels but they’ll only work for you if you put them into action. Give them a go – you’ll be amazed at the results!

Do You Have A Plan Of Action To Reach Your Goals

You have finally made the decision that it is time to make some changes in your life. You know that the only way things are going to get better for you financially, spiritually and physically is if you sit up and take action. You know you have to put forth the effort in order to reap the rewards.

So how exactly are you going to implement these changes? You are going to have a "plan of action".

A plan of action is crucial to your success. Without a plan it is merely a thought. When you add your thoughts to paper coupled with a desire to see them become realities and proceed to do everything possible to fulfill that desire you have a template for success.

A simple equation to use when creating a plan of action from your template is: Desire + Effort = Results.

Your first step is to write down what exactly it is you desire. Albeit wealth, personal development or whatever you so strongly yearn for that you simply can no longer go without, write it down. Make your desires realistic. For example, if your desire is to lose 20 pounds, it is unrealistic to believe you can lose 20 pounds in 3 days. However, it is possible to lose 20 pounds in 3 months with a proper plan of action. It is important to note that there should be a time frame with regards to your plan. These time frames are the milestones to marking your achievements.

Now that you know what your specific desire is, list the ways in which you plan on achieving optimum results. How do I plan to lose these 20 pounds? What do I have to do each day in order to achieve my goal? What do I personally need to do to see this plan come to fruition?

Set up a schedule outlining each step that needs to be taken daily to achieve weekly goals. Be specific. Create a daily "to do" list. At the end of the week you will be able to see how much you were able to accomplish. Congratulate yourself for each accomplishment.

Make a commitment to yourself to "Work the Plan". Stay focused on the positive. List all the reasons why you will be able to achieve your objective. Utilize the strengths you possess that will help you to complete your plan.

Know your weaknesses and make a concerted effort to overcome them. Incorporate both your strengths and weakness into your plan of action. Know what you are capable of and know what your shortcomings are.

Have your own personal reward system in place. Know what each reward will be for each accomplishment that you have fulfilled throughout your plan. With every desired result you achieve there should be a reward for having done so. An incentive plan customized to your wants.

Do not let yourself get disheartened. If you have a temporary lapse or deviation from the plan acknowledge it and continue to move forward with your plan. Keep the pedal to the metal or your nose to the grindstone, just keep on taking action. Remember, this is not a race to the finish line. Your plan is your future. Take the time to nurture and understand it.

We've all heard the adage "Rome was not built in a day". Your success regarding your plan of action will not be achieved in one day either. Success is a process and the process is something you have a long-term plan for.

"You and only you can determine if the reward is worth the price you are paying for it in effort".

5 Steps to Goal Setting Success

Goal setting is the true secret to success in any area of life. But although setting a goal may seem simple, achieving it is usually another question altogether.

Why is that?

Because you will never achieve your goals unless you: (1) know exactly what you want, (2) are passionate about your goal, and (3) have a solid, realistic plan of action. This is what marks the difference between nebulous dreams and wishes - and truly achievable goals!

Many obstacles and challenges will fly right in your face when you're going after a goal. Here are 5 time-tested methods that will help get the success you deserve.

1. Know exactly what your goal is

Your first job is to discover exactly what your goal is. What will achieving that goal really look like? Be as specific as possible about exactly what your desired end result is. Your success will be a measure of your clarity - since an achievable goal plan cannot be created around a nebulous "dream."

If your goals are to create a more successful business, what will that look like? Are you thinking in terms of simply hiring someone else to give you more free time? Are you looking for a very specific monthly profit? Or can your goal be best expressed in terms of a certain lifestyle?

Regardless of what you want, the best way to get it is to first clarify exactly what you want in as much detail as possible. This can be hard work. But without a clear mental picture, you'll never have the focus required to achieve your goal.

2. Be willing to pay the "entry fee"

Success takes dedicated planning and effort. In a way it's like building a house. In the beginning all you have is a rough concept. Then you develop a complete set of plans - and you immediately move closer to success. The same is true of creating a better lifestyle, or a more successful business.

But there's always an *entry fee* to be paid for success.

The entry fee?

Creating more success in your business may mean less recreational time. Writing your own book may require less TV. Being closer to your children may require adjusting your work or social activities.

It's the "full glass" deal. If your life (your time) is already full to the top, there's no room for something new. The entry fee is carving out the time to create that something new.

3. Focus on your goal every day

I'm sure you probably want to achieve your goal as fast as possible. That's why clear mental focus is so very important.

Consistent daily focus is absolutely necessary to "burn in" the new neural pathways you need to create your new goal. Without daily focus, the old mental habits that have kept you from your goal will continue to take over.

This happens automatically - since these old habits replay 24/7 deep in your subconscious mind. The only way to override subconscious anti-success messages is to consciously focus on what you DO want - and build new neural networks!

That's why success is an every-day event.

Re-commit to your goal every day. Don't let your goal take a back seat to the daily tasks and distractions that will try to take over. Life WILL try to get in your way. Just get, and stay, on course every day. Focus on your goal, and on success!

4. Get passionate

One of the most powerful tools in your "success tool box" is having real passion for your goal.

Why passion?

Because intense passionate desire for your goal will help you burn in those new neural pathways even faster. Many, many scientific studies have shown that intense emotion (passion) is a key success tool.

PLUS (and this is really a *big* plus), intense passion will also help you rapidly override any inappropriate old "failure messages" stored in your subconscious mind.

5. Take consistent action

In many ways, actually taking action can be the most difficult step. Successful goal achievement is built by taking one small action after another.

The word is ACTION!

If you commit to take at least one small action each day, your actions WILL add up and make a difference. So avoid sitting back waiting for that big second when everything will magically "just happen."

You CAN create whatever you want in life. The secret is to determine exactly what you want, then pursue it passionately. But remember -- in the end, only action counts! You can't just dream about it! You have to DO IT!

10 Small Steps To Improve Your Health

Many of us make health-related resolutions, such as to lose weight, stop smoking or join the neighborhood health club. While it is common to set high goals, experts say that setting smaller goals could do more for our health.

"Small steps are achievable and are easier to fit into your daily routine," says James O. Hill, Ph.D., Director of the Center for Human Nutrition at the University of Colorado Health Sciences Center. "They are less overwhelming than a big, sudden change."

Here are 10 to try:

1. Stop gaining weight. Even if you gain just a pound or two every year, the extra weight adds up quickly.

2. Take more small steps. Use a pedometer to count your daily steps; then add 2,000, the equivalent of one extra mile. Keep adding steps, 1,000 to 2,000 each month or so, until you take 10,000 steps on most days.

3. Eat breakfast. Breakfast eaters tend to weigh less and have better diets overall. For a filling and nutrition-packed breakfast, top Whole Grain Total® with fresh fruit slices and low-fat or fat-free milk.

4. Switch three grain servings each day to whole grain. If you're like the average American, you eat less than one whole grain serving a day.

5. Have at least one green salad every day. Eating a salad (with low-fat or fat-free dressing) is filling and may help you eat less during the meal. It also counts toward your five daily cups of vegetables and fruits.

6. Trim the fat. Fat has a lot of calories, and calories count. Purchase lean meats, eat poultry without the skin, switch to lower-fat cheeses, use a nonstick pan with only a dab of oil or butter.

7. Consider calcium by including two or three daily servings of low-fat or fat-free milk or yogurt. Dairy calcium is good for bones and may also help you lose weight.

8. Downsize. The smaller the bag, bottle or bowl, the less you will eat.

9. Lose just 5 to 10 percent of your current weight. The health benefits are huge-lower blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol and triglycerides.

10. Keep track of your eating. Write down what you eat over the next couple of days and look for problem spots. Often, just writing things down can help you eat less.

Until next time, keep working to change the man in the mirror.

Are You a Negative Thinker?

Barbara sought help because of her chronic fatigue. She had been going to different kinds of doctors and trying different nutrition plans for years and nothing was helping her. One of the doctors suggested that she try psychotherapy.

In became evident early in our work together than Barbara was deeply addicted to thinking the worst. Constant negativity went through her mind about every aspect of her life. She would get out of her car and worry about getting robbed. In social situations, she would tell herself that people didn’t like her. She was always worried about money, even though she was a successful graphic designer. Her husband could never do anything right. There was something wrong with every doctor she saw.

Negative thinking causes much stress in the body. She was told to imagine that she was telling these negative thoughts to a child. How would the child feel most of the time? Barbara could see that this child would, of course, feel anxious and stressed much of the time in response to all the negativity and catastrophic thinking.

The medical profession has long told us that stress is one of the leading causes of illness. Stress sets into motion the body’s fight or flight response, pouring cortisol into the body and eventually exhausting the adrenal glands. Adrenal exhaustion can be one of the results of so much negative thinking.

While Barbara could understand the possible effect her negative thinking was having on her health, it was extremely challenging for her to give up her negative thinking. Barbara deeply believed that her negative thinking kept her safe from disappointment. She believed that thinking the negative thought before the bad thing would happen prepared her to deal with it. She didn’t want to be caught off guard. She believed that she could not handle the pain of disappointment, so that if she knew about it ahead of time and actually expected it, she wouldn’t feel disappointed.

In addition, Barbara believed that if she was vigilant enough and thought through all the bad things that could happen, she could prevent them. She believed that by thinking ahead, she could somehow have control over the outcome of things.

Finally, Barbara also started to believed that she could control how people felt about her by acting right and saying the right thing. She was constantly vigilant about her behavior with others in her attempts to control how they felt about her and treated her.

However, in trying to control her feelings, others’ feelings and the outcome of things, Barbara may have been causing her illness. The underlying cause of her negative thinking was her devotion to this control.

The problem with all of this is that it is based on an illusion – the illusion of control. The fact is that Barbara could not foresee every event that could cause her some pain. She was devastated every time something happened that she had not thought of beforehand. How could something painful come out of the blue like that? How could she have not foreseen it?

The paradox of all of this is that, in trying to foresee future catastrophes, Barbara was not present in the moment. Real safety is in being present in the moment so we can respond appropriately to whatever is happening in the moment. When we are fully present in the moment, we are available to receiving information from our inner Guidance. All of us have a Source of Guidance that is always available to us, and that is here to help us and protect us. But we can access our Guidance only when we are fully present in the moment, not when we are trying to control the future.

Barbara is in the process of becoming more aware of her negative thinking. She is not yet healthy, but she has some better days now, days that are lighter and more fun.

Moving out of negative thinking is a process that takes time. If you are a negative thinker, you have been practicing this form of thinking your whole life. It is not going to stop in a day. But if you tune into the stress you feel and learn to connect your stress with your negative thinking, you can slowly change this pattern.

Vitality and joy can be the result of letting go of your negative thinking and learning to be present in the moment.

Ask yourself this one question, are you a negative thinker like Barbara?

Knowing Your Personality Type

Our world is made of all kinds of persons. Some do things as they have been done since ages. They talk, react, judge and act exactly as they have seen and taught. These kinds of people hate original and new ideas calling them dangerous for the world. On the other side of the spectrum are people who live life dangerously. They want to break every convention, every rule and live life on their own terms. They decide what they want to do irrespective of the outcome. The third type is original and mature.

The conventional types will never question anything. For them life has very few whys. They accept the way things are done, and meekly follow the leader. They are proud of their heritage and history, and changing trends will discomfort them greatly.

The dangerous kind, who believes in no conventions, will do everything in their own way. Their behavior may cause pain to others and discomfort to family and friends, but they are not bothered. They consider themselves as right and others as wrong and sometimes fools. They dislike, rather hate any preaching or advise and are the rebels of the society. These people may not always be very brave, but cowards. They are comfortable doing things in their own way but may be very selfish.

The last type is original and mature. This type is balanced. These people don't laugh at every convention, nor wish to break all of them. They maturely try to understand the why and then decide the correct course of action. For them if the conventional way is found correct, they will follow that otherwise they will chart their own course. This personality is inventive and reflective. These people try to develop a view of how things should be to make a happy world. These people will be ready to make sacrifices, risk their lives and are ready to fight conventions and set thoughts if they find them dangerous. Such people can become great leaders who can lead their group to a better future. They are original but mature in their thinking.

This may sound contradictory, but original does not imply - to do everything in the new way. Original here implies thought process that is original. Their maturity and originality gives them a wide canvas to decide about ethics, values and the correct way of living. These people enjoy the world, love the world and wish to contribute something significant to make a better world.

Do you know what your personality type is, why not find out.

A Beginners Guide To Online Dating - 5 Great Tips!

Did you know that two out of five single people in the UK now use some kind of on line dating service? That's 40% of all singles! Unfortunately, the percentage of these people who actually find a real romance as a direct result of their site memberships is very low - probably less than 10%.

Why is this? Well, it's true that some sites are better than others; they have more traffic, they are better to navigate; they just 'work' whilst others just don't. But what really matters is how you use a site when you actually sign-up to one. Take my word for it, unless you take the five simple steps that I'm about to outline, you may as well do something more productive with your time than join a singles site. What I'm about to say may sound obvious and rather simplistic, but you'd be surprised at how many people don't bother doing the 'obvious'. So here goes...

1. Create A Great Profile. This is the most important aspect of your dating site experience. Don't just say 'Nice guy seeks nice girl for trips to the cinema' - how boring does that sound? Take the time to say something about yourself, your lifestyle, your interests and the type of person you're hoping to meet. And remember to sound happy, upbeat, fun and confident; if you're miserable about your recent breakup, then keep it to yourself! This isn't the time for modesty; if you think you're pretty darn attractive, then be sure to say so. And humour is a real ice-breaker - if you can make someone laugh, they'll be more likely to want to contact you.

2. Always Upload A Photo. Even if you don't have a very flattering one to hand, you should always post a pic with your profile. Remember, 95% of people on dating sites only search for other members who have bothered to provide a picture of themselves. You want to see what other potential partners look like so it stands to reason that other people will want to know what you look like too. If your photo isn't recent or isn't a great likeness of you, you can always say so in your profile.

3. Be Proactive. Don't just join a site and expect other people to contact you. Make sure you regularly search the database for people with whom you might be compatible and when you find someone you like the look or sound of, write to them immediately and tell them why you think you might be a good fit.

4. Write Great Emails. OK, you've joined a dating site, you've searched for other members who fall within your specified categories, and you've been presented with a page of matching profiles. You're eager to fire off a few emails...but what on earth do you say in them? Re-read the paragraph above about creating a great profile and apply the same rules to the first email that you send to another member. If it looks like you can't be bothered to say much or that you're sending the same one line message to several people, then they probably wont bother to reply. Tell that person a little about who you are and why you think you might both be compatible - respond directly to what you've read in that person's profile - sound interested and interesting and you'll get an email by return - sound boring and downbeat and you'll just be ignored.

5. Check Back With The Site. There are two reasons why you should do this as often as possible. The most obvious one is to keep up to speed with who has joined since you last logged-on; that special someone might have signed-up since you last visited the site so don't miss out. However, what most people don't realize is that when you log-in to a dating site, your profile moves up the listings on the internal search engine which means that you are more likely to be spotted and subsequently contacted by other people. Don't be a stranger to the site you've joined and I recommend that you visit the site at least once a day during the lifetime of your membership.

So there you have it - 5 easy ways to make your chosen dating site work for YOU. Have fun and happy hunting!