Popular Online Dating Tips For Men

Heads up, gents. Online dating can open up new doors of opportunities with a little help from real world dating tips that work. Spice up your matchmaking with some of these ideas.

Looks Count
Comment on how attractive she is. Yes, women do want to know they are pretty, even if they’re online and you can’t see them and have no idea. So in your communications, ask questions that would help you know, but in an unobtrusive way like – how do you wear your hair? And then say how attractive that must look.

Kindness Counts
Point out nice things or the lemonade in life – nice things the other person has mentioned, nice acts the person has done, good things on the news latterly, etc. Be upbeat, and forget those lemons in life. Even in email a person can shout, by using all capital letters. So show manners and kindness. Keep swearing, unkind remarks, prejudice, etc. out of your communications. And “do unto others….”

So add some helpful real-world tips that do work (a lot of the time anyway) into your online dating equations. And come up on the positive side of romance – and enjoy more lemonade!

A Good Smelling Man – There is Nothing Better

There really is nothing better than a man who smells fantastic, one that you can't get close enough to, and one you never want to leave. The fragrance industry over the years has designed some wonderful and alluring scents for men. There are now more than just a few choices of men's cologne in the fragrance department in the shopping mall. However, most people still reach for the tried and true when it comes to men's cologne.

Stetson is the company who has brought us the fragrances of what a man should smell like. When a person thinks of masculine scents, real man scents, Stetson is what comes to mind. Over the years they have produced and added some truly amazing scents to their collection.

Stetson Original is the legendary scent of the American West. It's a rich and masculine blend of both rugged woods and spice. If you are looking for something a little more sexy and sophisticated yet still exude the American West, give Stetson Black a try. It's warm spices and fresh woods, masculine with just a hint of leather and suede notes, a sexy, intense, irresistible fragrance.

Nothing says American West like a cowboy. While out taming wild Mustangs Stetson Untamed is the scent for the intense thrill-seeking cowboy. Untamed combines bergamot with the masculine notes of cedar, suede, and oak. If you don't have a cowboy waiting in the wings, but have always wanted one, give the gift of Untamed. You won't be disappointed.

If you are looking for something a little bit different yet still from the legendary fragrance line of Stetson, try the Stetson Sierra. This fragrance is a bold Western fragrance with a blend of citrus, sage, and fresh green woods. A bold and masculine scent. Do you know someone masculine enough to wear it?

The newest fragrance Stetson has added to their line is Fresh. This scent was inspired by water, the brisk air, and the beautiful lush greenery of the mountains. The light blend of spices and citrus woods makes this a wonderful addition to the Stetson line.

When buying cologne for yourself or to give as a gift there really is a magnitude of scents to choose from. However, most men reach for the tried and true, masculine scents. The fragrances that were designed with the alpha males and the men's men in mind, the fragrances that will make the women smile and keep thinking of you long after the date is over. Stetson has the market when it comes to cologne for men.

Help and Self-Help for Depression

How complimentary therapies can help

A wide range of therapies can help depression. However, it is important that you have regular treatments and if need be adjust your lifestyle.

Reiki

A form of Japanese spiritual healing, Reiki helps to rebalance the whole body and therefore helps with any physical or emotional problems. For maximum benefit, Reiki needs to be carried out on a regular basis. However, if you decide to become “attuned”, you can actually reiki yourself every day and it won’t cost you anything (other than the cost of being attuned of course)


Tai Chi

This is a really a moving form of meditation. It is a good relaxation therapy said to help with stress-related conditions such as depression. Once you have learnt the moves from an experienced teacher you can then practice them by yourself.

Bach Flower Remedies

Dr Edward Bach discovered the 38 flower remedies which help with emotional problems. You can take the remedies directly from the bottle, dilute them in water or even apply them neat to the lips, wrists or ears. Rescue Remedy which is made up of 5 different remedies is probably the most useful for depression.
Again, if you need any more information please contact me

Naturopathy

Naturopaths will usually concentrate on 4 areas of your life: diet, toxin levels, lifestyle and your emotional state. They are able to help you by introducing new ways of thinking and drawing up an action plan for the depressed person.

Herbal Medicine – St John’s Wort

St John’s Wort has become increasingly popular as an alternative to anti- depressants. One of its main benefits is that from a clinical point of view it doesn’t have any side effects or withdrawal symptoms. It is not known exactly why it works but it is thought it may help to boost levels of the brain chemical serotonin which is low in depression sufferers.


Ways to help yourself

• Ask for help – it is not a sign of failure to feel this low, a doctor or counsellor will understand. Asking for help is a positive step in the right direction not a negative!

• Try to get out, even though all you may want to do is stay at home

• Eat properly – difficult when you have lost your appetite but it is very important

• Talk to someone about your feelings especially if you are feeling suicidal


• Be aware of thing you enjoy doing and do them as opposed to just doing chores

• Get plenty of exercise – it lifts your spirits and helps you to sleep better

• Avoid drowning your sorrows in alcohol – it is a depressant and may react with any medication you are taking

• Get in contact with self-help groups; meeting people with similar
problems can help you see things from a different perspective

• It is important to remember that many people have recovered from depression and you can too, although you may not believe this now; also some people come out of depression stronger and more able to cope – you could be one of those!!


Ways to help others

It’s not easy living with a depressed person and unless you have had depression yourself it is extremely hard to understand exactly how the person is feeling…here are some tips which may help

• Encourage the person to seek help from their doctor or a counsellor

• Support and sympathize as much as you can but you must make time for yourself!

• Be wary of criticizing the person and avoid comments like “pull yourself together” – that really will not work!

• Remind yourself that this person can’t help being down and difficult to live with

• Remember for most people depression doesn’t stay with them for ever, it is a temporary state of mind

• If you need to talk to someone to help you cope – do it!!

TOP TIP: Holistic Therapies Spain says; Different things help different people but the following may be useful for most people: friendship, exercise, well balanced diet, soothing music, and hands-on therapies such as massage or reiki.

Fighting Your Fears

Most of us have experienced each of the fears mentioned or seen other people experience them. They can have a dramatic effect on individuals and the world in which we live…

Take some time to think about yourself and your life…what aspects are you unhappy with and would like to change? What fears lie behind these aspects? It is not always easy to identify fears as they can be subtle, persuasive or addictive silently directing your behaviour. Recognising them and their influence can be complex and may involve taking a long, hard look at your life.

Fear encourages us to stay stuck and not to embrace change. The more you dislike or avoid change the greater your underlying fears. If the unexpected disturbs you, then fear is holding you in its grip.

For most of us overcoming our fears (of whatever) takes time and we also need a real desire to want to put the fear to bed.

The following sayings are ones that I have found useful over the last few years – if any resonate with you put them where you can refer to them regularly and keep repeating them to yourself.

Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness

Ships in harbour are safe but that is not what ships are for

Security is not having things, it’s handling things

Whenever you feel “I am afraid” replace it with “ I am excited”

Replace “I am vulnerable” with “I am protected”

Meditate to help release your fears

Here is a simple meditation which you can do to help release any fears you may have. Start by deciding which fear is the one you would most like to get rid of now…there is no need to rush the meditation, just go forward at a gentle and unhurried pace.

• Focus on the specific fear
• Breathe slowly in and out, visualizing your breath washing the fear until it is totally transparent
• When you have done this, see the fear in your mind’s eye burst into flames and burn itself out
• As it is burning, feel peaceful energy flow out of your heart and into the rest of your body, your mind and your daily life
• As you practice, you will feel a weight being lifted from your shoulders and your fear will lose its sting
• As you become aware of this, breathe slowly and see yourself covered in a halo of flames which cannot hurt you but which are just burning away all obstructions


Counselling Spain says: Remember, when you worry about things or are scared of something happening you create negative energy and according to the spiritual law of attraction you will end up attracting the things you don’t want into your life…

Can Debt Consolidation Improve Your Credit Score?

The answer to that question is if payments of the loan are made regularly and the borrower adheres to the terms of the loan. The duration is usually a few years so that can show consistency in the repayment, which helps the person’s credit score.

Obviously, the borrower’s credit score can also be hurt if the payments aren’t made consistently. The term of the consolidation loan is usually one or two years and the borrower won’t see fast improvement of his credit score, but it will happen slowly. If the borrower got the loan to pay off credit cards and keeps any of the cards—it will be important to protect the newer improved credit score by keeping the current credit cards payments up to date and charges should be minimized and make full payments.

Another point for the borrower to remember is to handle his current and future financial moves within his budget. Creditors will be watching for a realistic approach as to how the consumer handles his finances. Doing all of these things right will be a good reflection on the consumer’s credit score.

Getting the debt consolidation loan, making payments on time, and adhering to the terms could be in vain, if the consumer doesn’t learn to control spending urges like impulse spending. There was a time when using a debt consolidation company to get out of debt was a negative factor on a consumer’s credit score. That’s because this information was reported to the credit bureau by the creditors and it was not considered a good way to pay off bills. All of that has changed. There are many debt management companies that are reputable today.

Having many credit cards can be detrimental to the consumer’s credit score and that worsens if he is only making the minimum payment on each of them. Of course, being late hurts too. By getting a debt consolidation loan to pay off his credit cards the consumer can get a better interest rate that can help him in the long haul to pay less interest.

If the consumer decides to get loans in the future his best action is to check his credit score ahead of time at all three of the credit reporting agencies. Sometimes there are mistakes on the report that could prevent the consumer from getting a loan. For instance, a paid off credit card may not have been removed. Since he has his credit cleaned up he will be wise to keep it that way and check his credit report periodically to see if everything on it is correct. He can also greatly improve his credit score by keeping his credit cards down to no more than three cards.

This can be a good solution for people with many debts and high interest rates. This method can even keep the consumer from needing to file for bankruptcy. It’s easy to see that if used wisely a debt consolidation loan can improve a person’s credit

Increasing Self-Confidence and Problem Solving

Oddly enough, for many, there is rarely a day that goes by where we procrastinate making a decision because we experience a lack of self-confidence or feelings of self-doubt.

The standards set, while growing up into adulthood, had most of us depending on others - parents, teachers, and relatives - for direction and guidance that set up our self-image and levels of confidence. Unfortunately, during that period of time, we experienced more no's than yes's. As a result we either rebelled or we succumb to the expectations of others - looking to them for approval -- embedding in us expectation levels of perfectionism and shaping our self-image.

As adults, to function in a competitive world, requires that we be less dependent on looking to others for approval. The drive to win approval, through perfection, sets in motion negative procrastination and a stressful existence. When we drop the notion that we must live up to others expectation of being perfect, we then begin to build our inner strength of self-confidence.

When we overcome the lack of self-confidence and feelings of self-doubt, then problem solving and decision making, becomes second nature to us. True self-confidence comes about by understanding our abilities, strengths and having the willingness to change what we choose.

"Change" is a word that runs the gambit of drudging up feelings from anger, bitterness, hopelessness and pain to happiness, relief and pleasure.

However, bringing everything into consideration, you and me and everyone else on this planet is in the problem solving business - and to be effective in delivering problem solving solutions we need, a well developed, self-confidence. Therefore let me say that living in an economy based on innovation -- an economy in which you can win big simply by out thinking the competition -- self-confidence and decision making is paramount to success.

Now, let me give you an exemplary example of someone who embodies such characteristic traits of self-confidence and problem solving.

Frederick W. Smith, Chairman, President, and CEO, FedEx Corporation; describes his creation of a central clearinghouse, along with a hub-and-spoke system of dissemination, enabled FedEx to deliver, point-to-point, anywhere in the United States -- absolutely, positively overnight. Smith said: "We thought that we were selling the transportation of goods; in fact, we were selling peace of mind." - Fred Smith's focus and self-confidence was a force in his innovation and problem solving solutions.

Here are several methods for increasing your self-confidence and problem solving abilities according to Brian M. Alman and Peter Lambrou, Ph.D.'s

** First, identify which area of your life spawns the most self-doubt, the least self-confidence. - Your work, people of the opposite sex, parents, a boss, spouse, etc.

** Second, select which area you want to work on first. Set reasonable objectives and focus on one specific circumstance in which you feel self-doubt.

** Third, go into a state of quiet relaxation to do some inner examination, some self-exploration. Imagine an old situation with someone whose approval you sought, but now imagine a new actions stemming from your perceptions of self-confident behavior.

** Forth, where you had self-doubt, now see yourself with self-confidence giving yourself positive self-suggestion to reinforce the change you want to accomplish.

Don L. Price - Coaching Minds To Succeed - Professional Speaker, Sales/Marketing & High Performance Mental Fitness Coach, Speaker and Author of Secrets of Personal Marketing Power.

Guidelines for Preventing Identity Theft

Preventing identity theft is not a difficult task, as you simply have to put common sense into practice. Whenever you are through with any mail, prescription bottles or any other trash that contains your personal information you should shred what you can and black out info on pieces that cannot be shredded. This keeps those thieves who dig in trash searching for info to be left dirty and empty handed.

You also have to protect your information online. If you are interested in any information online that requires you to provide personal information, never provide your bank account or social security number. There are scam artists who will take your personal information and sell it to those who will use it to make purchases in your name running your credit.

You should also be wary when you use your credit cards or checks when shopping protect the visibility of these numbers as there are scam artists who will photograph your banking information for fraud use.

By following simple guidelines such as these you can ensure your personal information is safe from the eyes and hands of those who are up to no good. You should also be aware of your credit reports and what is on them as you can view for any criminal occurrences and report them if necessary.

Far too many times we believe that this can't happen to us but if you look you will find that your neighbor or even your sibling has had a level of this happen to you.

If you are looking for further information about identity theft, you can find an abundance of information online. By taking the time to provide yourself with knowledge of identity theft than you know how to protect yourself. Prevention is key to not becoming a victim of identity theft.

Breaking Free From Self-Limiting Habits

'We need to think differently to shift our paradigms
to a new, deeper, "inside-out" level'; Stephen R. Covey

In the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey describes habits as "consistent, often unconscious patterns which constantly, daily express our character and produce our effectiveness, or ineffectiveness".

Who we are and what we become is a direct result of our habits. It is in the realm of habits that our character is born, nurtured and outwardly expressed. What we see from the outside is a direct reflection of those deeply embedded habits that have gradually, steadily and consistently ingrained themselves into our psyche. Our behavior is therefore informed by these habits, which with time become so deeply ingrained into our minds that changing them is like attempting to break mountains with bare hands.

Breaking free from these deeply-embedded habits is a tall order, especially if they have been acquired over a long period of time. The longer it takes to acquire certain habits, the more difficult it is to break them. And this is not necessarily a bad thing; especially if the habits acquired are positive. Positive habits should be encouraged, even developed where they are lacking.

According Mike Bressica, success comes from behaviors, which start out as thoughts. To change your habits or behaviors, you will need to have different thoughts. What occupies your mind; your thoughts; propels you to behave in a certain way. If you don't like the results of your behavior, all you need to do is to change your thoughts. The Bible talks of renewing our mind as a way of transforming ourselves into good, acceptable and perfect people that always seek to do the will of God (Rom 12.2).

Renewing or shifting from our current thoughts to those that we desire brings about transformation or change in our lives. This is what is known as having a paradigm shift; adopting a new way of thinking, of doing things, of behavior.

The good thing about habits is that they are acquired over time through learning, nuances, brainwashing and experiences. Since they are acquired, they can be replaced by changing the thought patterns that fostered them in the first place.

To replace negative, self-limiting thought patterns, which Mike Bressica calls "mental patterns of failure", we must set as a first goal to reduce the impact of these patterns. And this cannot be done overnight. Just as it took time to acquire these mental patterns of failure, it will take time to release them and replace them with 'mental patterns of success'.

Paul talking to the Church in Rome expressed his frustration with his inability to rein in his patterns of failure. It appeared to him that he was fighting a losing battle with his mind as he found himself doing the very evil that he did not want to do; and not doing the good that he wanted to (Romans 7: 19).

Like so many of us, Paul was at a crossroad. On one side lay the old self-limiting patterns of failure; and on the other, his desire to release these negative patterns, which always led him to do evil, and replace them with those that would propel him into a transformed life of doing good.

Highly successful people are those who rid themselves of their patterns of failure by brushing off distractions. When you have no pattern of failure limiting your progress, you are able to overcome temporary setbacks at the thought level. Since the battle for success is won or lost at the thought level, your success or failure in this arena is what makes you successful or unsuccessful. Success comes naturally when you learn how to control your thought patterns. As Bressica says, if you muster the art of thought control, you will not be 'tempted to act opposite to what you know is best. You can keep fear at a minimum. Doubt is nowhere to be found.'

But how do you unlearn limiting thought patterns that you have picked up from childhood? How do you break down inscrutable blocks of negative habits that have been distilled and cemented into your psyche since childhood? To merely tell you to change your paradigm would be as vain as telling a hungry person to be filled without giving him food to eat. What we hear, see, experience or sense has a direct bearing on the formation of our habits; which are informed by thoughts, and which are then acted out in the form of behavior.

Thoughts are the foundation on which our habits are formed. These habits, depending on their nature, in turn inform our actions or behavior; and success or lack of it solely depends on the actions we take. To take that crucial first step in starting your own business, you must first of all unlearn the employee mentality and start seeing yourself as a successful entrepreneur.

But to achieve this paradigm shift is no mean fit. What with years of being told to study hard so that, when you grow up, you will get a good job? To break away from this mold of thinking and start seeing or thinking yourself as a successful business person requires much more than positive affirmations such as 'I can do it'. If 'I can do it' is out of tandem with your thought pattern, then, try as much as you will, you can’t do it.

Confident Public Speaking: Check This "Avoid At All Costs" List

In the pursuit of confident public speaking skills, it is important to accept that nervousness may never be completely eliminated in some public speakers. This is not necessarily bad. A certain amount of nervousness can be positively channeled to enhance performance.

Nevertheless, confident public speaking does involve learning not to betray one's nervousness through obvious body signals.

Familiarize yourself with the items in the list below and either check yourself through a video playback of your next presentation or have a close friend or colleague critique your presentation by looking out for these indicators that betray a lack of confidence in public speaking.

Mannerisms and Awkward Gestures

As well as destroying your professionalism, they can be very distracting for an audience. Get a friend or partner to alert you if you begin doing any of the following:

stand with one leg wrapped around the other
stand on the sides of one's shoes
keep touching the nose, mouth, ears, or any part of the face
lean on the speaker's stand using it as a prop
keep putting hands in and out of pockets
fiddling with one's wrist watch
repeatedly swallowing
buttoning and unbuttoning the jacket
standing with hands clasped behind the back

Visual Aid Dangers

If you use a flip chart, whiteboard, or projection screen, avoid constantly fiddling with the marker pen, mouse, or projector control as if they were worry beads. This can be distracting and betray a certain nervousness.

Far better to have your hands free, only picking up the marker or control when you intend to use it and then put it back again on the table or speaker's stand.

Using your hands deliberately for descriptive or emphatic gestures will be far more effective than haphazardly waving a marker pen or projector control in the air.

What Do You Do With Your Hands?

Confident public speaking means you know what to do you with your hands.

When you are not using them to gesture, let them hang by your side loosely and naturally. They won't remain there for long if you are giving an animated presentation.

Your hands and arms will frequently be moving, gesturing, but in between times, just let them hang loose, ready and waiting.

Concentrate On Ideas

Confident public speaking involves the ability to concentrate on expressing your IDEAS rather than exact words. Doing this will go a long way in helping you avoid the mannerisms noted above.

This will allow your delivery to flow which makes it easy on the ears and listenable as opposed to a stop/start style of delivery.

Apart from your introduction and conclusion which require more attention to exact wording, thorough preparation and total immersion in your subject will allow you to speak extemporaneously without worrying overly about exact word choice.

The latter can result in a speaker gazing into the air fumbling for the right word which in time will destroy the concentration of the audience.

Even if you don't feel you are confident in public speaking, you don't have to advertise the fact. Use the checklist above to spot and avoid obvious signs of nervousness and you will at least leave the audience relaxed and engrossed rather than distracted.

Drawing What You Need Towards You

I walked away with my tail between my legs. Sure, the error was all mine. I had a list of people I'd spoken to and one name was really obscure and neither Jo nor I knew who they were.

I sat down and thought about it. 'Who are you?' I asked. 'Make yourself known to me again?'

With that I turned my attention to other matters. That's when the phone rang and the person on the list revealed themselves to me.

Now if we want to be cynical we could say that the materialisation of that phone call was just coincidence - that this person just happened to call and remind me who they were. But what are the chances?

First, I just happened to have written the name badly on the list. Second, Jo just happened to spot my error. Third, we just happened to be discussing the person. Fourth, I just happened to ask for that person to make themselves known to me again. And it all just happened to happen, in the space of an hour.

What odds would you give on that happening?

This kind of thing happens to me too often for me to doubt that there is some greater connection going on between all our minds - a higher awareness.

How does it work?

First we ask for things. Second we have to be consciously aware of what's happening to us. It's important that we follow events as they unfold rather than letting our mind get in the way. It's also important to do it with a sense of humour and to celebrate in some way when the universe provides.

As soon as our mind gets in the way we break the chain of events and distort what the universe is creating - often ending up with something we didn't want.

When we put our attention on finding a solution or a person we are brought into connection with minds - sometimes people we know, sometimes people we didn't know - who are prepared to answer our call for help.

These people have the will to help, if you have the will to let them in. What often occurs when our call is answered is a discussion to see if help is possible. Oddly, as a quirk of human nature, we sometimes repel people who come to help and either we reject them or they decide they just cannot help us.

While I know synchronicity happens, I'm in no way attached to it happening. I put out a call for things and get on with life. There is no hankering. I ask, then I read, jog, make phone calls or do whatever I have to do while staying open to what happens.

I think it's fair to say that attachment to an outcome is the biggest block that can get in the way. The times in my life when I've had no money are the hardest times to create money. When I've been in pain, it's hard to imagine no pain.

But each time I've asked for a person to show up who can guide me (that's guide me - not do for me), they've shown up and helped me. From their life got better.

You'll find some very simple tips below. Please take note, this is a very simple version I'm giving you because all our situations differ. This basic outline is however workable for us all.

1. Think of one think that you feel you life needs right now.

2. Be clear on what you want.

3. Write it down

4. See it happening in the mind.

5. Now go about your daily life, aware that answers will come to direct you.

6. Keep doubt out. Stay positive.

Love and good wishes
Neil

CommunitySoul - Neil Fellowes

Goal Setting 101

We all have goals. Some goals are long-term and some are short-term. Some are goals we have shelved for so long they are dusty and covered with cobwebs. Some are freshly minted. However for those of us who are not as successful in life as we would wish we often despair of achieving our goals. Some goals seem out-of-reach and unattainable. This does not have to be what actually happens. We have the power within ourselves to change our lives and the place to begin is when we are setting our goals.

There are simple rules that make it more likely for us to achieve our goals and the first is to follow the K.I.S.S. principle. In other words, keep it simple stupid. The more elaborate and complicated we make our goals then the less likely we will be to follow through with them.

The best way to simplify your goal setting is to only set one goal -- the ultimate goal. After that then everything else is just details. What is the ultimate goal? What is your final destination? When you are on your deathbed and you cast a look back over your life then what do you want to see accomplished there? When you look around you what do you want to see? That vision is your ultimate goal.

We all know that having a destination in mind makes traveling easier. Knowledge of that destination helps us plan what to pack and controls our transportation decisions. The same is true when it comes to setting goals and achieving those goals. If we know our destination then we know what to pack (and what to leave behind) and we can make better decisions about how to reach that destination. Simplifying our goals to that one ultimate goal also helps us focus on that one destination rather than constantly detouring and losing our way. It also makes it easier to measure the importance and relevance of so many other decisions that impact our daily life when we have the measuring stick. If we take Path A or Path B which will be more effective in reaching that ultimate destination?

Naming that ultimate goal for ourselves is a tremendously powerful tool for our own success because so often we spend our time and energy focusing on managing the details of our lives. We are simply reacting to whatever is thrown at us by others or simply by daily life. However in order to truly achieve success and achieve our goals then we must take the lead and that means acting. Simply by setting our ultimate goal and focusing our energy and time on that goal means that instead of reacting we are now taking action. That action means we have taken a leadership role in our own success. Simply by taking that action we are taking control of our own life and that is a very powerful step toward success.

If you want to achieve more success in your life then you must set one simple goal -- the ultimate goal for your life -- and you must get out in front of the goal to take action with your life instead of reacting all your life.

Deanna Mascle shares more motivational and inspirational messages through her Advice Column blog at http://justfolks.net.

Navigate Through Life With Goals

Why are setting goals important? Everything activity we undertake has a goal. For example:

1. Playing golf has a goal.
2. Watching TV has a goal. Its goal is for entertainment, or (as some of us would believe) for relaxation.
3. Reading a book has a goal. Its goal is for knowledge, relaxation, increasing vocabulary.
4. Going to work has a goal. It has a personal goal, a career/professional goal.
5. Spending time with family has a goal.
6. Choosing to do nothing has a goal. Its goal may be to seriously do nothing after a hectic day.
7. Exercising has a goal. Its goal is to keep fit, look good, feel good.

The list goes on. Every activity we undertake has a goal. It is whether we are conscious of it or not. It also becomes overwhelming when you realise there are so many goals.

As written in my previous post, take goal setting and execution a step at a time. If you have never done goal setting and execution before, focus on one or two categories for a start. Take action on each of these on a daily basis. Let me repeat that, take action on a daily basis. In this way, you will begin to achieve your goal and gain confidence to set new and loftier goals!

Why are goals important? Many will say that it provides direction in life. It provides us with clarity to what we want and where we are headed. There is another important aspect of goals.

Our goals help provide us with a balanced life. Most of us will work very hard at our careers, and maybe spend little time on family, health, wealth, hoping that our careers will take care of all our others worries. 'Hope' is not a strategy. You have to take control of your own life and destiny.

By setting our goals, we own part of our destiny. By taking action towards our goal, we are creating our destiny. Goals provide us with a more balanced view of our lives. Review your goals daily. When you see that you are actively taking small steps towards your goal, you will feel a sense of great satisfaction with yourself. Review of your goals help you to take stock of where you are in life. With every small active step taken towards your goal achievement, it inspires you to push on to achieve your dreams, no matter the size of your dream.

Importance and size of your goal is of no concern. To each his own. Its what's important to you that counts, not what others say.

If you are a parent, share your goals and dreams with your children and family. Tell them the small steps you have taken towards your goal. It shows them that goals with no execution remains only a dream. Let them share their dreams with you frequently and help them to take positive action. Reviewing daily helps them become the dream. They will live the dream and the dream goal becomes real. It inspires them to take more action and in time, achieve their goals.

Use this technique of sharing and reviewing goals with your friends, or staff at work and you will be amazed at the difference it makes when an organization knows its goals and sees progress being made daily.

There is so much merit in setting goals. The sad part is that many set it once and re-set it again one year later. Many begin executing the actions only to have their efforts fizzle out.

If you simply review your goals without reviewing the actions taken to get closer to achieving your goals, its not much use. You will not be inspired. Review your goals and actions daily. Change course if you need to. Its your life and your goals after all. Reviewing your actions daily will give you the inspiration to take more action.

Actions speak louder than words. Setting goals without taking action is as good as writing in water (which leaves no trace of what you wrote). Go ahead. Take action today. Take action now. Do not wait. Take action, no matter how small the action it. Take action now and you will feel the momentum created, pushing you to take more action until you achieve your goals.

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Copyright © Bernard Ong, 2006.
All Rights Reserved

Bernard Ong is an IT professional interested in helping others by sharing his experience on time management and effectiveness topics. Bernard writes about his interest at http://www.bernard-ong.com. Copyright Bernard Ong, 2006. All rights reserved.

Stop Putting Up With Stuff

Someone interrupts you while you are speaking. Your child raises his voice at you. A person speaks to you in a way you find offensive. Other people take credit for your ideas. You keep working longer and longer hours at work. Your family is constantly late coming to the dinner table. If you've experienced any of these scenarios, then it is time to stop putting up with stuff. It's time to strengthen your boundaries.

Boundaries are imaginary lines that surround and protect you and your goals from others. Anything that annoys you or makes you upset is often a crossed boundary. When your boundaries are weak, it may feel as if people are taking advantage of you or not respecting you. These feelings can often be damaging to one's self-esteem. They can also cause unneeded anxiety, stress and resentment. When you take the time to define and strengthen your boundaries, at home and at work, you will find yourself in a generally happier and calmer state.

Determining how others may interact with you, sticking to clear work hours and deciding your limits are all boundaries that will keep negative influences out of your way. Keep in mind boundaries are invisible. To effectively enforce your boundaries they must be communicated to those around you

Communicate Boundaries Gracefully

This seven-step process, keyed to the acronym RESPECT works every time. When you are communicating yoru boundaries, ensure you start the conversation with your voice devoid of any emotion. The tone of voice you use should be similar to how you sound when making a comment on the weather -- calm and confident.

R – Recognize your boundaries are being crossed. Stop others as they start to cross the line. "Excuse me."

E – Educate others that they are violating your boundary. "Do you realize you are yelling at me."

S – Stop. Request that others stop. "I’d like you to stop yelling at me."

P – Promote. Tell others how your limits can be respected. "Please speak to me calmly.”

E - Embrace others for cooperating. "Thank you for respecting my wishes."

If they are not cooperative, add these last steps. This very rarely happens. In most cases, people change their behavior after step two.

C – Command that they stop “I insist that you stop raiding yoru voice to me.” If nothing changes, then call it quits.

T – Take off. Leave the situation. “I can’t have this conversation while you are yelling at me. I am going to leave the room. Let’s talk about this when we are not as upset.”

In some cases, people won't respect your boundaries even after you ask them to. But remember you are no longer putting up with anything from anyone so you might have to walk away from some individuals and situations. The only way to truly start taking better care of yourself is to let go of things that don't work for you.

© Copyright 2006. Lisa Martin. All rights reserved.

Breaking Free From Self-Limiting Habits

'We need to think differently to shift our paradigms
to a new, deeper, "inside-out" level'; Stephen R. Covey

In the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey describes habits as "consistent, often unconscious patterns which constantly, daily express our character and produce our effectiveness, or ineffectiveness".

Who we are and what we become is a direct result of our habits. It is in the realm of habits that our character is born, nurtured and outwardly expressed. What we see from the outside is a direct reflection of those deeply embedded habits that have gradually, steadily and consistently ingrained themselves into our psyche. Our behavior is therefore informed by these habits, which with time become so deeply ingrained into our minds that changing them is like attempting to break mountains with bare hands.

Breaking free from these deeply-embedded habits is a tall order, especially if they have been acquired over a long period of time. The longer it takes to acquire certain habits, the more difficult it is to break them. And this is not necessarily a bad thing; especially if the habits acquired are positive. Positive habits should be encouraged, even developed where they are lacking.

According Mike Bressica, success comes from behaviors, which start out as thoughts. To change your habits or behaviors, you will need to have different thoughts. What occupies your mind; your thoughts; propels you to behave in a certain way. If you don't like the results of your behavior, all you need to do is to change your thoughts. The Bible talks of renewing our mind as a way of transforming ourselves into good, acceptable and perfect people that always seek to do the will of God (Rom 12.2).

Renewing or shifting from our current thoughts to those that we desire brings about transformation or change in our lives. This is what is known as having a paradigm shift; adopting a new way of thinking, of doing things, of behavior.

The good thing about habits is that they are acquired over time through learning, nuances, brainwashing and experiences. Since they are acquired, they can be replaced by changing the thought patterns that fostered them in the first place.

To replace negative, self-limiting thought patterns, which Mike Bressica calls "mental patterns of failure", we must set as a first goal to reduce the impact of these patterns. And this cannot be done overnight. Just as it took time to acquire these mental patterns of failure, it will take time to release them and replace them with 'mental patterns of success'.

Paul talking to the Church in Rome expressed his frustration with his inability to rein in his patterns of failure. It appeared to him that he was fighting a losing battle with his mind as he found himself doing the very evil that he did not want to do; and not doing the good that he wanted to (Romans 7: 19).

Like so many of us, Paul was at a crossroad. On one side lay the old self-limiting patterns of failure; and on the other, his desire to release these negative patterns, which always led him to do evil, and replace them with those that would propel him into a transformed life of doing good.

Highly successful people are those who rid themselves of their patterns of failure by brushing off distractions. When you have no pattern of failure limiting your progress, you are able to overcome temporary setbacks at the thought level. Since the battle for success is won or lost at the thought level, your success or failure in this arena is what makes you successful or unsuccessful. Success comes naturally when you learn how to control your thought patterns. As Bressica says, if you muster the art of thought control, you will not be 'tempted to act opposite to what you know is best. You can keep fear at a minimum. Doubt is nowhere to be found.'

But how do you unlearn limiting thought patterns that you have picked up from childhood? How do you break down inscrutable blocks of negative habits that have been distilled and cemented into your psyche since childhood? To merely tell you to change your paradigm would be as vain as telling a hungry person to be filled without giving him food to eat. What we hear, see, experience or sense has a direct bearing on the formation of our habits; which are informed by thoughts, and which are then acted out in the form of behavior.

Thoughts are the foundation on which our habits are formed. These habits, depending on their nature, in turn inform our actions or behavior; and success or lack of it solely depends on the actions we take. To take that crucial first step in starting your own business, you must first of all unlearn the employee mentality and start seeing yourself as a successful entrepreneur.

But to achieve this paradigm shift is no mean fit. What with years of being told to study hard so that, when you grow up, you will get a good job? To break away from this mold of thinking and start seeing or thinking yourself as a successful business person requires much more than positive affirmations such as 'I can do it'. If 'I can do it' is out of tandem with your thought pattern, then, try as much as you will, you can’t do it.

I believe with all my heart that if you can think it, you can do it. The writer of the Book of Proverbs (23:7) knew this all too well when he said that 'as one thinks in his heart, so is he'. Your thoughts define the kind of person you become. Countless times we blame external circumstances while in reality the core cause of our failure can be found in our thought patterns.

Innocent Mwangi is a motivational writer and speaker. He specializes in helping people attain their highest potential. Visit his websites at http://www.realopportunity.org; http://www.ssmk.net; http://www.work-at-home-opportunity.net; http://www.globalalert.org.

Overcoming Performance Anxiety

Everybody suffers from anxiety at some point or anther. Anxiety is just a normal part of everyday life. It can actually be a useful emotion in helping us to cope with stressful situations. Other times, anxiety can be out of control and interfere with our ability to function normally in stressful situations even if the stress is just manufactured in our minds.

There will always be reasons to feel anxious. All ages experience anxiety. Children feel it in school before a test; even young babies feel it when separated from their mothers. Adults have plenty of opportunities to feel anxious whether it is from a job, finances, romance, or due to being self conscious.

Sometimes anxiety comes about because people have to do something they fear doing. One of the most common anxiety producing experiences is when it comes to public speaking. Many people fear being in front of the public, either as a speaker or just as someone being singled out or noticed in a crowd.

Do you have a fear of speaking in public or performing on a stage? If so, you could be suffering from a type of performance anxiety. Do you have any of the following apply to you? If so, you may have performance anxiety.

-Worry about looking foolish in front of other people and being laughed at?

-Worry that people can see how nervous you are?

-Suffer from stage fright if you have to speak in front of others or perform onstage.

-Experience anxiety in advance of the event simply from anticipating your fears.

-Feel immediate and intense fear upon learning you need to perform in public.

-Attempt to get out of public performances or not show up if you can’t get out of it.

-Missed out on opportunities because of your fear of being in the public spotlight.

Performance anxiety is actually all in the mind of the sufferer. After all, not everyone fears going on stage, there is no danger in doing so. The fear comes from imagined dangers such as feeling like you are not smart enough or good enough to avoid ridicule. So the way to overcome your performance anxiety is to change your way of thinking.

There are four steps involved in overcoming performance anxiety. Let’s take a look at them below.

Step one: Self Assessment

-Get to know yourself, both as a person and as a performer.

-Identify the problem thoughts that are holding you back and creating anxiety.

Step two: Exposure and Preparation

-Find opportunities for limited performance exposure but not to the point your anxiety kicks in.

-Practice your speech or performance. Tape it and watch yourself. Practice until you have it down pat. Always be totally prepared before giving your performance so you feel confident.

-Learn relaxation techniques and practice them right before your performance.

Step three: The Performance

-Visualize the audience as friends and family that wish you well.

-Don’t think of yourself. Think of the audience.

-Stay calm and enjoy yourself.

Step four: After the Performance

-Don’t criticize yourself no matter what happens.

-Congratulate yourself for doing your best.

-Reward yourself for making progress

Train yourself to change your thoughts and instead of worrying about what people will think, just go ahead and imagine they are thinking good things about you. Imagine yourself as self confident and thoroughly capable of completing the performance. As you change your thinking, you will see your performance anxiety start to slip away.

Your Career in 2008 – Get a Fresh Start

As the New Year approaches, have you thought about your career goals? What worked to years ago in planning and managing your career will not work for your career development in the 21st Century. Managing your career in the 21st Century requires preparation, career goal planning and career guidance and ensuring that your time is directed meaningfully.

Here is how to find enjoyment and continue to progress in your career.

1. Determine if your present job is in line with who you are, what you value, and what you are good at. Are you really doing what you want to do? Being self-aware means you become clear about what you stand for and what you have to offer. When you know what you have to offer, you become more powerful and intentional in your work. Doing a good job is no longer good enough to guarantee your career will go well. You are your most important asset. Self-branding provides direction and clarity of purpose for how you work, not just what you do for a living.

2. Identify your job satisfiers and dissatisfiers. Find a way to do more of the tasks/projects that you enjoy.

3. Identify your accomplishments.

4. Take the time to build and maintain relationship with individuals who might impact your work. You will benefit personally and professionally from the time you invest in such relationships.

5. Determine and write down your vision for your professional life. What actions do you need to take that will get you there? Celebrate the steps you take daily to achieve your vision. You can create the life you want! Here are some ways you can do that:

* Keep work in perspective - remember how you left work on time in the summer?

* Manage your stress - identify what causes you stress and how it affects you.

* Take time out - close your door (if you have one), call forward your phone, turn off your e-mail, take a walk. Use this time "during your work day" to prepare for a big meeting, a presentation or work on a project.

* Delegate - are you spending too much time on the administrative process of your job and not utilizing your skills to benefit your long-term goals and your company's goals?

* Work/Play Balance - what did you enjoy doing during the summer that you want to continue (going to the movies, playing tennis, volunteering, spending time with your kids, seeing friends, etc.)? Put it on your schedule.

6. Be Bold! Don’t be afraid to take on some responsibilities in positions above you. Aim to always exceed expectations.

7. Manage your own time. Set boundaries. Learn to say "no" to non-essential use of your time.

8. Look for way to do things better, and more efficiently. Change a routine task - develop a new process. Instead of handling your e-mails as you get them, set aside specific times during the day to respond.

9. Be great at what you do. The knowledge and skill that create success in your current job will position you for your next move.

10.Be aware of roadblocks that can limit your potential to move upward.

11.Take on projects that will most likely benefit you.

12.Have passion for what you are doing and working toward. You will automatically put more effort into it. If you are not feeling passionate about your work ask yourself: is what you “should’ be doing interfering with what you want to be doing?

Remember! Your career must contribute to your life, not the other way around!

Copyright 2006, Cecile Peterkin. All rights reserved.

Cecile Peterkin is a Certified Career, Life Coach and Speaker. She is also author of The Career Athlete - The Elite guide for career success. Feeling stuck in middle management or in mid career? Kick your career into high gear! Sign up for the Career Guidance Bootcamp or the FR-EE Introduction teleclass now at http://www.CosmicCoachingCentre.com/introteleclass.html.

Weight Loss and Staying Motivated

Trying to lose weight has probably got to be the single most difficult thing in my life that I have tried to accomplish. Ask anyone else that has lost weight or tried to lose weight and I am sure that they will tell you the same thing. If it was easy, a larger percentage of people would be successful at it.

I think motivation is a major determining factor in how successful you are going to be at achieving your weight loss goals. If motivation is something that could be bought, we would all be rich and thin, but unfortunately it is something you have to work at. What works best for me is identifying certain things that make me feel like sticking to my plan and reaching my goals. Once I have identified these motivating factors; I surround myself with them and practice them.

The single thing that motivates me the most is success stories. When I say success stories, I mean people who have used a plan that is sensible. I tend to try to stay away from the to good to be true testimonials. You know the ones, I took this pill and lost 100 pounds in six months and you too can do the same or advertisements where they are talking about somebody’s weight loss and below it in tiny print are the words results not typical. If the results are not typical, what it means to me is it will not work that way for 95 percent of the people that try it.

The stories that motivate me are the ones where they lost 1 to 2 pounds a week and they did it with a tolerable, sensible diet and tolerable, regular exercise. When I say tolerable, I mean something you can live with, because if it is hard to live with you are not likely to stick with the plan for very long. People that have lost a lot of weight following a diet plan, that meets this criterion, are a lot more likely to keep the weight off.

I also tend to stay motivated if I do a lot of reading or research on subject matter that pertains to the task at hand. So, I spend a lot of time at the library and Barnes and Noble getting the latest information about things that are happening in the weight loss industry and learning about how the successful people reached their weight loss goal.

The other thing I have learned to do is avoid things that are going to cause me to feel overwhelmed. Nothing zaps my motivation quicker than feeling like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. If I can do things in an organized fashion 80 percent of the time, I will be able to stay on track and take the necessary steps to stay motivated to reach my weight loss goals.

The sooner you can identify the things in your life that make you feel good about your self, the better things are going to be for you. Surround yourself with positive things and you will find it easier to stay motivated not only in your weight loss journey, but also in other areas of your life.

Marjorie Salada is the owner of http://www.weightloss3000.com, a website that contains information on weight loss, exercise, weight loss surgery and living a healthy lifestyle.

Numerology's Nurture number; what you can grow and prosper

Want to know how you start things, which of your projects will grow and prosper? Numerology can tell you what kinds of task you nurture well, what projects you are good at tending. We just need to find out your Nurture number.

===> Calculating your Nurture Number

Your Nurture number comes from a specific branch of Numerology called Yantra or Magic Square numerology. It consist of constructing a Magic square using your birth date numbers, and then interpreting the values in the specific boxes in the square.

Your Nurture number is found by taking your birth month, and then subtracting (3), note that negative values are possible.

For example, actor Johnny Depp was born on June 9th, 1963; so his Nurture number would be calculated as follows:

Nurture number = (Birth month - 3) = (6 - 3) = (3)

The Nurture number values and their meanings are listed below.

===> Nurture Number (-2)

You use your strong intuition to hinder and sidetrack others in their plans. You are selfish when it comes to helping others succeed. For you, it's every man for himself.

===> Nurture Number (-1)

You hate starting things and watching them grow. You would rather buy an existing business and try to improve it than start from scratch. You are good at improving projects already started; but terrible at getting them underway.

===> Nurture Number (0)

You don't really care about starting things and watching them grow one way or the other. You don't mind starting projects, but you don't take any special joy from it.

===> Nurture Number (1)

You love starting things and watching them grow. You are more likely to start a business from scratch than to buy an existing one to develop. You are a better starter than a finisher of projects; but you really lavish your attention on projects in their early stages.

===> Nurture Number (2)

You use your strong intuition to help and support others in their plans. You are a caring sympathetic person who finds great joy in watching others succeed with your help.

===> Nurture Number (3)

You have a gift for inspiring other people with words. You are quite creative in starting your plans, and when pushed can develop your own plans and talents quite a bit.

===> Nurture Number (4)

You are willing to put in hard work for anything you really believe in. You have infinite patience for your plans, and are willing to wait years, if need be, to see your projects bear fruit.

===> Nurture Number (5)

You are a natural consultant; able to give good sound advice to people in all sorts of endeavors. Sadly, your own projects and ideas never seem to get developed. You need encouragement to start and nurture your own plans, and follow through on them.

===> Nurture Number (6)

You love supporting and nurturing friends and loved ones. You make a wonderful parent saving only a tendency to be over protective of your children. You like working on your creative hobbies and take great pleasure in charting your own progress.

===> Nurture Number (7)

You love a mental challenge. You're fascinated by seeing how different things work; learning their hidden secrets. When something interest you, you're able to work on it in stages; starting small, and then developing it into a major project.

===> Nurture Number (8)

You are a natural when it comes to nurturing a small business and growing it into a financial success. You love taking on tasks or endeavors that you judge will be money-makers, and nurturing them through the rough spots. You stick with them as long as that money-making potential remains.

===> Nurture Number (9)

You love nurturing and supporting any group of people with a noble cause or goal. Weather a club, support group, or a philanthropic organization, you're able to help raise the spirits and self-esteem of everyone around you.

Keith Abbott is the developer and owner of 'Numerology 4 You' where you can order your own Numerology reading including your personal Lucky Numbers. Visit him on the web today at http://www.numerology4you.com/

Many People Do Not Recognize They May Be Depressed

Many People Do Not Recognize They May Be Depressed

Depression is a type of illness that affects the whole body, mood and thoughts. It affects your self esteem, the way you eat, sleep, feel and do your day to day activities. People with severe depressive illness can’t even pull themselves together and without proper treatment the symptoms can last for weeks, months, or even years.

The symptoms of depression may vary from person to person, but generally include many of the following symptoms. You no longer seem to think like you used to think. You start to experience problems with concentration and it can get hard for you to make even simple decisions. You start to feel negative about the whole world. Pessimism, poor self-esteem, excessive guilt, and self-criticism are some of the most common feelings that characterize the state of depression. Individuals suffering from severe depressive illness often have suicidal tendencies.

Lack of motivation and constant feeling of tiredness are other symptoms. Sometimes irritability is a problem, and you may have more difficulty controlling your temper. Extreme cases of depression are characterized by feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. Most of the time those people are thinking about the bad things in life and what has went wrong with their life.

The negativism associated with depression leads to changes in behavior. The person might act more apathetic, because that's how he or she feels. Withdrawing socially is also quite common. Some people start to complain about everything and get relieve from their anger in the form of temper outbursts. Sexual desire may disappear, resulting in lack of sexual activity. In the extreme, people may neglect their personal appearance, even neglecting basic hygiene. Work productivity and household responsibilities also decrease.

Imagine how bad the situation can get for a person if those symptoms last for weeks, months or years. His whole life can take a turn for the worst. Such people need professional care to tackle the problem. Remember, depression is treatable. Instead of worrying about whether you are depressed (or a family member), do something about it.

There are a lot researches conducted on this problem. Stats show that while depression can affect anyone, its effect may vary depending on your age and gender. Women have twice as higher risk of suffering from depression than males, because of hormonal changes brought on by puberty, menstruation, menopause, and pregnancy. Elderly people are also very likely to get depressed, especially if they have lost their loved ones and are living alone.

There are a lot of cures for depression. Medication includes different types of medicines which help to fight the symptoms of depression. But the bad side here is that the person might get addicted to those pills. The symptoms will fade away when they are used, but the person might feel even more depressed if he stops the medicine. Therefore, it is best to fight with natural means. Sport and exercising can be a real cure. That is because sporting activities like bicycling, basketball, football or any other type of sport increase the levels of dopamine and adrenaline in your brain making you feel good about yourself. You have to change your whole attitude. What this means is to mentally tell yourself to stop sulking around and to think of all the good things that life has brought you.

Jerry Cahill has been involved in natural health for over 5 years. He reviews many products and passes along information. Visit his site at: http://www.manicantidepressionmedication.com.

Law of Attraction: The Science of Creating Wealth

So this title caught your attention? That means you want to learn more about creating wealth. The good news is, is creating wealth is something anyone and everyone can do. Read this article; know that there is a science, a system to getting rich and creating wealth. By applying the law of attraction and other universal laws, you will get rich. Learn the science of getting rich, study it, practice it and then start to attract the riches that you so strongly desire. Hold on to your vision, your dreams and hold steadfast to your goals, and remember, often times, it is not the destination that makes us happy, it is the journey!

Law of Attraction

Understanding the Law of Attraction is most critical to your success and in obtaining prosperity and wealth. Simply put the Law of Attraction states that “I attract into my life whatever I give my energy, focus and attention to, whether unwanted or wanted or conscious or unconscious.” This means that you can have anything you choose, no matter how big it is. This means if we learn how to apply the law of attraction, we can learn how to achieve success, prosperity and wealth. We can receive greater levels of income, than we ever dreamed.

The Law of Attraction works because we all have one infinite Power; a God, Higher Power or Universe, and that we all guide ourselves by laws; natural laws of the universe, such as the law of gravity, cause and effect, polarity, action and reaction, and the law of attraction. The law of attraction can best be described as a magnetic force, that like thoughts attract like experiences. That these laws of nature are so precise, that when man thinks about things, he or she can accomplish miracles. The law of attraction says that everything in your life is attracted to you by your thoughts. The Universe takes these thoughts as instructions, and manifests what you think about and focus on, into your life’s experience. What kind of instructions have you given the universe so far?

Think about this for a moment, if you think and focus about how poor and financially strained you are, you will become poorer and more in debt. The more you think and focus on your current situation, wanted or unwanted, the more tolerable or intolerable your situation will become. If you worry and are angry about your lack of money, wealth or prosperity, you are practically guaranteeing yourself an experience of lack of wealth, money and prosperity. If you are constantly jealous and bitter towards others, as they have wealth and you do not, you are going to attract more jealousy and bitterness into your experience. What you resist persists and what you fear perseveres.

Our Thoughts have Frequencies

Our thoughts have frequencies, so when you think about or imagine what you want, such as great wealth, success and prosperity, your thoughts go out to the universe or Higher Power and the universe or Higher Power brings it to you. So if you see yourself living the life of the rich, in a fabulous house, with an expensive car, glamorous clothing and fine arts, you will attract this into your experience. So whether you are thinking about your past experiences, your present situation or your future, and whether you are remembering, observing or imagining, the universe or Higher Power is listening and responding by bringing that thought and those things right back to you. I recommend you start to think rich!

Attracting Thoughts and Things by Using your Mind

Your mind is a sender and receiver of information far beyond the five senses. You can attract thoughts and things into your life, just by using your mind. Think about driving on some remote country road. You try scanning your radio to find a new radio station for some good traveling music. Until you tune into a station, you will not hear the music. But that does not mean that it is not already out there, nor that other people are not already listening to it. The same principle applies to whatever you are attracting into your life. What you are experiencing is dependent upon what frequencies your thoughts are emitting their information on. When you send it out thoughts or information, a message to the Universe or Higher Power, by the power and vibrations of your mind and of your thoughts, you will attract it back to you, into your experience. It is quite a complex theory the first time you hear and consider it. But as you think about it and look around into your world, you will see that indeed this is true. It is a universal law.

Chronic Ways of Thought

If one has a prolonged negative chronic way of thinking about their lack of wealth and prosperity, their debt, according to the law of attraction, these thoughts will manifest into existence. Their experience will be that of more debt and lack of money. If one is thinking of how great their financial success and wealth is, they will have more wealth. If one can accept and practice this concept, one can transform their life.

The key concept to take away is that we are all the architects of our life, good or bad. All of our problems are created by us and us alone, not by your parents, partner, boss, friends, accident, upbringing or family. All of our successes were created by us and us alone, not by luck or chance. We have created them, each and every one. This may be really difficult to accept if this is the first time you are hearing this concept. But once you do, your life can transform into a whole new world, with unlimited possibilities and success, good fortune and prosperity. So change those thoughts about lack of money into thoughts of an abundance of money. Learn the techniques of visualization, goal setting, using a systematic approach to creating wealth and you will have it, the law of attraction is as predictable as the sun setting and rising. Seek information to master these skills, visit www.acquiredhope.com and www.inspirednhopeful.theSGRprogram.com for free information and programs to help you succeed, quickly!

We have the power to attract more good things, more good fortune into our experience. One just needs to learn how to apply the laws of attraction and remain focused on what he or she really wants. Consistent thought and affirmations will shift your mind and your energy and allow greater wealth to come into your experience. Most times, this is a learned skill, it requires study, practice and dedication to aspire and experience more. But anyone can learn it and master it. Start today, create your new visions and images of great fortunes and abundance in wealth, learn a system of creating wealth, learn by the masters, the teachers of The Secret: www.inspirednhopeful.theSGRprogram.com wealth generation is a predictable thing; learn the science to getting rich and by law you will receive it.

Nicole Matoushek, MPH, PT has 15 years of experience in clinical managed care and disability management. She is founder of ErgoRehabinc.com. She has authored two books "Acquired Hope: A Journey of Advanced Recovery and Empowerment" and "365 Days of Abundant Hope" both available on http://www.acquiredhope.com. She is inspired by http://www.inspirednhopeful.theSGRprogram.com. Nicole is passionately dedicated to helping others succeed in obtaining abundant health, wealth and a fuller life!

Battling the Bet-Nots: How to Overcome the Negative Noise of Naysaysers

How many times have you made up your mind to do something you really desired to accomplish but came up against much discouragement from friends and family? You decide to quit your high-paying job with paid company benefits in pursuit of your dream career only to be met with a thunderous chorus of "you had better not!” These loving beings, whom only have your best interest at heart when they furiously nod their heads in dismay at your latest inspiration, can make it extremely difficult to put that first foot forward in the direction of your goal.

We often internalize the views and opinions of the naysayers in our lives leaving us stagnant in our progression towards happiness. We stay at the dead-end job, accept the cards that have been dealt to us and allow ourselves to become complacent in our present life positioning. But why? Do we find this nonchalant tradeoff for contentment in lieu of our ultimate dreams truly gratifying? In most cases, the answer is almost certainly no.

Defeating the negative noise is a must if you plan to really live your best life. You have to learn how to listen to your own inner coach. It is that tiny voice inside yourself that is constantly debating the various choices that have been laid before you. This self-talk is influenced by your personal morals, values and experiences as well as those of the individuals who share your environment. When you are posed with any type of decision, you must first identify whether or not the origin of your self-talk is really coming from you. Although you should value the opinions of those whom you love and respect, you must consider the underlying reasons behind their disagreement with your chosen path. It may seem harsh, but if these individuals are not where you want to be, why should you listen to them? Successful people get successful by surrounding themselves with those who are already succeeding.

If it is indeed your own voice, you must next determine if the opinion is valid. You can discount any argument that simply doesn’t make sense. Ask yourself if the voice has developed as a result of a fear. It can be a fear of risk, a fear of failure, a fear of success or something completely illogical. Fear can certainly be immobilizing. To conquer your fear and begin rationalizing your dreams, start by writing down what you plan to accomplish. Once you have your dreams in writing, you will need to ask yourself several difficult questions. What are your goals? What do you need to do to make your dreams come to fruition? Are your goals reasonable and attainable? How will your life be better if you are successful in reaching these goals? Will you have more money? …more time? …a new car? How long will it take you to accomplish these goals?

You will find that by writing out and evaluating the feasibility of your dreams, they suddenly seem more tangible. You also have produced the beginnings of a plan of action. List each goal; along with the estimated time you believe it will take you to complete it, in chronological order. Type up this action plan, placing a checkbox next to each goal, and use it to create a dream collage. Gather up pictures, travel brochures, magazine articles or whatever you can find to symbolize the things you will have accomplished upon completion of your goals. Arrange these items on a large sheet of construction paper or poster board using your action plan as the center. Hang your dream collage above your desk or in any other highly visible place where you will have to see it often.

Use your dream collage as the focus of your daily meditation. Before you officially start your day, meditate on your dream for at least fifteen minutes. Close your eyes and picture yourself enjoying the items pictured in your collage. You should do this as many times as possible throughout the day but at least once in the morning. This will help you to overcome the negative noise by turning it into positive self-talk. You will find that your mind will start to embrace your dream. You will have envisioned the dream, you will begin speaking the dream, and then you will act the dream. Gradually, you will be living the dream.

© 2006 by Niquenya D. Fulbright, Professional Life Coach All Rights Reserved

Why CBmall is better than most affiliate programs

Ask questions first before you join an affiliate program. Do a little research about the choices of program that you intend to join into. Get some answers because they will be the deciding point of what you will be achieving later on.

Will it cost you anything to join? Most affiliate programs being offered today are absolutely free of charge. So why settle for those that charge you some dollars before joining.

When do they issue the commission checks? Every program is different. Some issue their checks once a month, every quarter, etc. Select the one that is suited to your payment time choice. Many affiliate programs are setting a minimum earned commission amount that an affiliate must meet or exceed in order for their checks to be issued.

What is the hit per sale ratio? This is the average number of hits to a banner or text link it takes to generate a sale based on all affiliate statistics. This factor is extremely important because this will tell you how much traffic you must generate before you can earn a commission from the sale.

How are referrals from an affiliate’s site tracked and for how long do they remain in the system? You need to be confident on the program enough to track those people you refer from your site. This is the only way that you can credit for a sale. The period of time that those people stay in the system is also important. This is because some visitors do not buy initially but may want to return later to make the purchase. Know if you will still get credit for the sale if it is done some months from a certain day.


What are the kinds of affiliate stats available? Your choice of affiliate program should be capable of offering detailed stats. They should be available online anytime you decide to check them out. Constantly checking your individual stats is important to know how many impressions, hits and sales are already generated from your site. Impressions are the number of times the banner or text link was viewed by a visitor of your site. A hit is the one clicking on the banner or text links.

Does the affiliate program also pay for the hits and impressions besides the commissions on sales? It is important that impressions and hits are also paid, as this will add to the earnings you get from the sales commission. This is especially important if the program you are in offers low sales to be able to hit ratio.

Who is the online retailer? Find out whom you are doing business with to know if it is really a solid company. Know the products they are selling and the average amount they are achieving. The more you know about the retailer offering you the affiliate program, the easier it will be for you to know if that program is really for you and your site.

Is the affiliate a one tier or two tier program? A single tier program pays you only for the business you yourself have generated. A two tier program pays you for the business, plus it also pays you a commission on the on the sales generated by any affiliate you sponsor in your program. Some two-tier programs are even paying small fees on each new affiliate you sponsor. More like a recruitment fee.

Lastly, what is the amount of commission paid? 5% - 20% is the commission paid by most programs. .01% - .05% is the amount paid for each hit. If you find a program that also pays for impressions, the amount paid is not much at all. As you can see from the figures, you will now understand why the average sales amount and hit to sale ratio is important.

These are just some of the questions that needed answering first before you enter into an affiliate program. You should be familiar with the many important aspects that your chosen program should have before incorporating them into your website. Try to ask your affiliate program choices these questions. These can help you select the right program for you site from among the many available. If you're a beginner CBmall is the answer to alot of your questions, take a look at it and see for yourself. See the 15 powerful ways CBmall can make you money!

The Dating Society

Like any other society, Latin culture is one that is embedded with traditions, values and celebrations. Internet dating seems to be a very controversial subject. Finding someone to date is easier with a little help from your friends.

Many people find making new friends daunting, and find it easier to do this via the web. Over the past 20 years the face of dating has gone through some noticeable changes. Online dating iIt’s a huge business that has ushered in a whole new era of dating.

Some dating websites are very thorough, and ask lots of questions before they attempt to match you to an online dating partner. You can upload a picture to your online dating service if you want, but it is not required. Although you want to find someone that attracts you and that you share things in common, don’t limit yourself to what you think is your type.

People can often contact you for free, but many online dating sites charge if you want to contact others although this depends on the site. Some internet dating sites provide you with a list of photographers in your area who specialize in internet dating photos. At the end of the day, it really depends on what you are looking for that matters. In this regard, whilst the bigger personals sites have more features, like webcam chat etc, they are very generalised and are really only aimed at dating personals in general.

Dating agencies are not a new idea, they have been around a very long time. The internet has simply served as a new medium for bringing people together in a tried and tested way that agencies have used for years. The bigger online dating agency sites now have in excess of three million members, and literally thousands of new members joining every day. If you don’t know where to start internet dating, just hit some chat rooms of your interest. The online dating world today can be a confusing place to be.

What do you know about dating

Dating websites vary. Seems like everywhere we surf on the Internet nowadays we run across this little advertisement: 'Free online personals'. 95% of people on dating sites only search for other members who have bothered to provide a picture of themselves.

Online dating is simply a free dating service that you use via the Internet. As more people flock online, there are companies ever more eager to jump on the dating bandwagon. As the online dating community has grown, so too have the number of vendors willing to help you promote yourself.

People can often contact you for free, but many online dating sites charge if you want to contact others although this depends on the site. Take your time with the process. Don’t let anyone rush you. You are not committed to meeting anyone. Making contact online, you first have to find people that interest you by searching a dating website’s membership.

By using an online dating service, you don’t have to wait until the weekend to meet someone. Anonymity is important to most people these days when taking a chance with online dating. Use the tools provided on the dating site because they are there to help you enjoy the experience.

If you have recently become single what better way to meet someone new than to go online and meet more singles. There are many online dating sites that have very short sign-up processes and others that require you to answer lots of questions. On the net the world is simple and clear. By just putting an ad, people say: 'I want love'. Dating agencies are not a new idea, they have been around a very long time. The internet has simply served as a new medium for bringing people together in a tried and tested way that agencies have used for years.

How to Raise Self Esteem

Have you ever felt bad about yourself? Most people have at some point in their life, including the most exceptional of characters. It’s part of the human experience.

A person that regularly experiences negative feelings such as, self-hate, guilt, shame and embarrassment is commonly referred to as having low self esteem. One of the main problems with breaking out of these emotional habit patterns is that a person with low self esteem tends to ‘beat themselves up’ with overly critical self-talk such as, “I shouldn’t be feeling like this” or “Why am I feeling like this”, and unfortunately this creates a looping effect which re-enforces the crappy feelings!

So just how do you snap out of that kind of low energy level wretchedness and raise self esteem? Well, one of the master keys to using your brain is to keep in mind the fact that it goes in directions. Your thought patterns are ‘directionalised.’

Allow me to explain. If you kept having thoughts along the lines of, “I am a useless person”, then that would become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Because you’d set that up as the direction for your brain to go in you would keep finding ‘evidence’ that proved it was ‘true!’ There’s a great quote from philosopher, Robert Anton Wilson; “What ever the thinker thinks, the prover proves.”

Basically you need to adopt a new thinking pattern that heads in an empowering direction. A really quick way to do this is to use a technique known as disassociation.

Think of situation where you would like to raise your self esteem feelings and notice what you can see in this experience. Now imagine stepping outside of yourself and pushing that picture off into the distance over there onto a movie screen. So you can see yourself, in that situation, on the movie screen.

That’s great! Notice how your feelings have already changed. It’s as if you’re having feelings about the feelings and this frees up your inner resources so you can gain new self - esteeming perspectives and insights.

Looking at that movie with you in it ask yourself, “If I were to learn something useful about this situation what would it be?” And you can also ask the very powerful question, “If I act as if or pretend there is a positive intention behind my behaviour/feelings what would that be?” Don’t struggle with it. Just guess if it helps you get an answer. The main point is does it get your mind going in a more positive direction: Does it feel better?

Why not run through some other scenarios with the procedure above and become aware of just how much more you really can raise self esteem with a little bit of effort.

Until next time,keep reaching for your fullest potential!

Enhance Your Concentration With Self-Hypnosis

During recent weeks, the city of Sheffield here in England has been hosting the World Snooker Championships.

Have you ever seen a more hypnotic sport? I know that some people would argue that it just sends them to sleep, though it is extremely hypnotic and at times I have found it to be extremely relaxing and exciting and I am amazed at what those professional players can do with the balls.

Snooker players sum up a lot about what I think you need in life to be successful - they have to practice and practice and practice to get to those levels, they have to be focus on what they want to the exclusion of all else at times, they have to learn from their mistakes and learn from each other. I know you can get metaphors to the same effect from most sports, it is just that this week I was inspired by one particular young man.

The hero of this years tournament, for me, was the losing finalist - a 23 year old man by the name of Mark Selby. They call him 'The Jester from Leicester.' Not only was he wonderfully exciting to watch play snooker... He actually smiles during games!! He has fun, he makes jokes, he entertains, he has a look about him that is extremely endearing and I really warmed to him despite this year being the first time he had broken into the top flight in the Snooker World championships. Mark Selby seemed to really enjoy what he was doing and I find that so inspiring.

What really amazed me was this guy’s stamina too.

First of all, because he was not in the world top 16 rankings prior to this tournament, he did not get an automatic place in the tournament, so he had to qualify with several matches. In the first round, he came from 5-0 down, to win 10-7. In the second round he beat former world champion Peter Ebdon, having trailed 6-2, he won 13-8. In the quarter finals he won 13-12 in a last frame decider. Then in the semi final, he beat another former world champion Shaun Murphy in a gruelling match, having trailed for much of it, 17-16!! A last frame decider again. Each of these games were hours long and the individual frames were often going on for very long times. The final, which he lost to John Higgins 18-13 went on until the early hours of the morning!

Wow. To maintain that level of mental endurance and concentration for such intense, pressurised lengthy periods of time is just incredible.

I get asked very frequently about how we can increase our powers of focus and concentration and so this week I thought I would a simple self-hypnosis technique with you to help you do just that. This technique today can also be used for all manner of things including stress reduction,

Here is a simple technique to help you keep focused for longer periods of time.

Step One: Be in a place where you are not going to be disturbed for a while. Get yourself comfortable, with your arms and legs uncrossed. Then just focus on the moment, notice what thoughts you are thinking, notice the sensation of stillness and the rhythm of your body and just be an observer of your experience for a few moments. Just observe yourself existing in that moment, without interfering with it at all. Then take a slightly deeper breath and exhale slowly while closing your eyes.

Imagine that you can feel gravity pulling you to whatever it is you are resting on. Feel your body being supported. Tune in to the moment and feel how it feels to just relax and observe how and who you are at this moment.

Step Two: Now bring your awareness in and concentrate on your breathing. Notice the parts of your body that move as you breathe in and out. Notice the wonder of your breath, be aware of the temperature of it - maybe it feels cooler when you breathe in and warmer as your breathe out.

Imagine that each breath is going deeper. That does not have to be a bigger or a larger breath, just a breath that relaxes you while you are keeping your awareness on it. Be sure at this stage to just let your breath happen without you interfering with it. Keep doing this for a little while as you notice your body relaxing around you and your mind slowing down, yet keeping your awareness on your breath - if your mind wanders, then just keep bringing it back.

Step Three: As you feel more relaxed, noticing the rhythm of your breathing, maybe it slows down slightly. Allow your breath now to move to other parts of your body. Imagine breathing in to muscles and parts of your body and releasing them, relaxing them and imagine the muscles softening and the nerves in those muscles just becoming still and quiet. Not having to do anymore than is absolutely necessary.

Step Four: When you are sure that you have sufficiently relaxed your body and are still focusing on your breathing, now move your awareness to your mind. This is where the key to this technique exists.

Using your imagination, imagine that in front of you is a clear glass jar. The jar is clear, it is clean, even shiny and it is well and truly empty. Really imagine details of the jar, the textures, the way light reflects off it, the top and bottom of it, what kind of lid it has - really get a good idea in your mind of how this jar is.

As you have been doing, observe yourself now. While you continue to observe yourself, imagine that unscrew the lid of the jar and remove it for now.

Look closely at this empty jar, become aware that it is waiting to be filled. Imagine it inviting you to put something inside. So this is your chance to let go of any burdens, any distractions, any unwanted thoughts and aspects of routines from your day. Whether they were generated by your activities, your work, any tasks you are wanting to perform, any errands, your travels, your apprehensions, any anxieties, your cares, any discomfort you may be experiencing or any other thing.

Observe carefully now as one by one you place them into the jar. Imagine that your mind pours it all from inside of you and places it into that jar. Continue now to fill the jar with any remaining distractions, burdens or unwanted thoughts or feelings.

You can have fun here and be creative. Maybe you can imagine a string of things pouring out from you, or a cloud with all these things inside, all travelling into the jar. Empty it all out in to the jar.

Step Five: Carefully and deliberately now, replace the lid on the jar. Give the lid one extra turn.

Breathe deeply now and observe that you stand and begin to carry the jar toward a door. Open the door. Outside, on the front step is a large shiny aluminum trash can. Open its lid now and place your jar inside,... Know that you may dispose of it now and forever.., or return for it at another time, if you wish.... Put the lid back on the trash can... turn from it... walk back through the door. Lock the door and return to your chair.

Affirm with yourself something along the lines of "I have true clarity of thought and supreme concentration and nothing can interfere with it until I have achieved ___________" Or something along those lines, using language that appeals to you and resonates with you of course.

Imagine that you have a focused vision, a level of concentration and focus now that is going to serve you really well with whatever you want to begin focusing on now. Feel it, experience it, imagine brimming over with this track of your mind and imagine generating a state of being within yourself... feel prepared to really be this way.

Step 6: Bring your awareness once again to your breathing and notice its rhythm, pace and depth. Tune in to the moment that you are in once again.

Become aware of your toes and fingers, give them a wiggle or two and then open your eyes.

Hold your body in the way you would when you are focused. Hold your thoughts in a way that says "I am focused" and go about your day or the upcoming task or whatever it may be in a truly focused fashion. Spend some time getting yourself really focused and engaged in something that you wish to achieve and notice how much more you excel!