Have you ever wondered why some people just have it all? They're well liked by everyone they meet, financially set and attractive…but what stands out most is their beaming sense of self-confidence when they enter a room.
It's almost as if they have a certain "presence" that gives off positive vibes.
Not everyone is this fortunate, however. There are people who are faced with low self worth, they struggle to maintain positive relationships and often feel resentful towards people who are better off than they are.
So what's the difference? How can one person be so incredibly successful while another person constantly struggles just to get by?
The answer lies in what I call your "Invisible Lifestyle." Your Invisible Lifestyle is what made you into the person you are today. You were literally "programmed" with the habits and beliefs that you follow today (or refuse to follow).
So who were the programmers?
Look no further than your very own parents or guardians.
It's true. Your parents unknowingly “programmed” you to become the person you are today. The reason I say 'unknowingly' is because your parents raised you the best they could based on how their parents raised THEM.
Because of the "brain wiring" of your original programmers (your parents), as an adult, you are duplicating the way they lived when you were young.
For example, let's say you were raised in a household where both of your parents were always there for you. They took an interest and encouraged you in everything you pursued.
You grew up seeing your parents work hard every day, take interest in you and treat each other with respect. As a result, you grew up to have a successful career and a happy marriage because you worked hard and treated your spouse with respect…just like your parents.
Now let's look at another scenario…
Imagine a life where you grew up in a neglectful household. Your parents never encouraged you or took an interest in anything you did…EVER.
Your father had a negative outlook on life because of HIS traumatic childhood so all he knew how to do was raise YOU the same way that his father raised HIM.
As a result, you grew up with a negative outlook on life (just like your dad), and you have low self esteem because nobody took the time to encourage you and take an interest in you as a child.
Is this YOUR fault? NO! Of course not!
You did not ask to be "dropped" into your parents' household. That is the “hand” you were dealt in life and now, as an adult, you're living out the consequences.
In these two scenarios, you're living out what I call "Invisible Lifestyle A".
A stands for "ALWAYS"
"What you didn't notice your parents doing as a child, you are faithfully reproducing today, and you don't have a clue you're doing it."
But there IS one exception to this phenomenon…
Let's say you grew up in a bad neighborhood with an alcoholic father. Everywhere you looked, you saw poverty, crime and hopelessness. As a child, you couldn't wait to move out of the house. You saw your parents' lifestyle and were DETERMINED to not only be successful, but be NOTHING LIKE YOUR PARENTS.
While you were growing up, you took the necessary steps to put yourself through school and as an adult; you have a positive self image and do everything within your power to remain financially stable.
This is known as Invisible Lifestyle B.
B stands for "BUCKING"
"What you couldn't stand your parents doing when you grew up; you won't stand for in your relationships today."
Those who embrace the "B" Lifestyle, do so in defiance of their family's values. The B Lifestyle can create the "black sheep of the family" and that goes for highly troubled families or very successful ones.
Invisible Lifestyle B has taken place when an inner city boy or girl goes on to pursue a successful career as a lawyer while each of their siblings end up in jail. On the other hand, a child from a wealthy family could go against his parents' values by recklessly spending and eventually filing for bankruptcy as an adult.
Now I'm not telling you to place BLAME on your parents. Your parents raised you based on everything they knew at the time. It's ALL they knew. It's not their fault…it's NOBODY'S "FAULT".
The key is to understand and accept the fact that the negative values you absorbed from your parents (i.e., fear of failure, low self worth, jealousy) are programs literally "wired" into your brain.
And if you have enough discontent with these, it is very possible to change that programming in your adult life.
But simply knowing this is not enough.
You must find these programs and learn how to "decommission" them. In other words, you need to know what to do and how to do it, especially if these programs seem to dictate your behavior.
Do you do things over and over that other people might call "self sabotage"?
Are you attracted to a certain type of person you know you shouldn't be around, yet you can't help but feel attracted to?
The source of this behavior is one or two negative programs from your childhood.
These programs will prevent you (or your loved ones) from a better life.
If your parents' programmed you with some negative values that are causing you problems in your life today…it's NOT your fault…but it IS your responsibility to do something about it.
You can start by thinking about how each situation in your life today is directly affected by your Invisible Lifestyle.
The more you discuss your childhood memories of the way things were, the more you become consciously aware of them and the easier they will be to "decommission".
Over an entire lifetime, most people will not make the connection between their behavior as an adult and how their parents lived during their childhood.
They will accept their parent's values without questioning anything, never knowing the REAL reason they continue to make the same mistakes over and over again.
But now YOU know better than that. Don't live your life with a blindfold on. Create a better future by first identifying and then eliminating the values from your parents that are causing you trouble today.
Showing posts with label self esteem. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self esteem. Show all posts
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
7 Surprisingly Quick And Easy Ways To Feel Happier
All of us have days when we're out of sorts. You just wish you were in a better mood. You've had days like that, haven't you? Perhaps you tried to get yourself into a better state of mind but struggled to achieve it.
Sometimes we get stuck in our own emotional dumps and forget how easy it is to feel happier, so here are seven simple ways to lift your mood. Many people have found them useful. Some of them may surprise you!
1. Go for a walk.
Most people know that going for a short daily walk is one of the best forms of exercise. When you are feeling down it is even more beneficial. If you can, go into a natural environment with plants and birds. Can you think of such a setting not? What do you notice first? The different shades of greenery, the fresh smell of country air, the sounds of birds, or the sunlight shining through the trees? Make it real by taking a short stroll.
2. Listen to quality music.
Music can shift a listener's state within moments. It's effect can be nearly magical. Dig out that CD you haven't listened to in ages or tune in your radio to something you've never listened to before.
3. Open yourself to discovering something new.
Read something (printed, not on line) different than what you would normally watch. There are a ton of different types of magazines can you get these days. Visit your local library or browse through a magazine rack. Pick up or buy a magazine you wouldn't normally buy. You may discover something wonderful.
4. Find something to laugh at.
Laughter is one of the best ways to lift your spirits. Find a humorous book, or watch a comedy. Even better, try to learn a few new jokes and tell them to others.
5. Simple breathing meditation.
Breathing meditation is a great exercise that you can do anywhere. Simply allow yourself to sit comfortably with your back straight. Now close your eyes and become aware of the flow of air into and out of your nostrils. That's all there is to it. Do this for 10-15 minutes. Notice how pleasantly surprised you can be at how you feel afterward.
6. Doodling for the fun of it.
Most people can remember when they were young and used to doodle for hours. Kids love drawing silly little pictures. Drawing is not just for kids or artists. Whoever you are get some pens, pencils, crayons or whatever you have and just draw for the fun of it. Notice how your state of mind shifts.
7. Think of others less fortunate.
The fact that you are reading this article suggests that you are probably much better off than most people on this planet. At times this may be hard to believe, but if you can read and have access to the internet, just those two things alone means you are better off than most people in the world. There are many human beings that barely have access to the basics of survival. There are people in lots of pain. Allow your compassion for them to grow.
These are all pretty simple. There's nothing profound or life changing, but when all you need is a quick pick me up these may be just the thing you need. Putting simple ideas, methods, tools and techniques into action will help you achieve change more quick and easily--surprisingly so at time-- than you imagine.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
10 Small Steps To Improve Your Health
Many of us make health-related resolutions, such as to lose weight, stop smoking or join the neighborhood health club. While it is common to set high goals, experts say that setting smaller goals could do more for our health.
"Small steps are achievable and are easier to fit into your daily routine," says James O. Hill, Ph.D., Director of the Center for Human Nutrition at the University of Colorado Health Sciences Center. "They are less overwhelming than a big, sudden change."
Here are 10 to try:
1. Stop gaining weight. Even if you gain just a pound or two every year, the extra weight adds up quickly.
2. Take more small steps. Use a pedometer to count your daily steps; then add 2,000, the equivalent of one extra mile. Keep adding steps, 1,000 to 2,000 each month or so, until you take 10,000 steps on most days.
3. Eat breakfast. Breakfast eaters tend to weigh less and have better diets overall. For a filling and nutrition-packed breakfast, top Whole Grain Total® with fresh fruit slices and low-fat or fat-free milk.
4. Switch three grain servings each day to whole grain. If you're like the average American, you eat less than one whole grain serving a day.
5. Have at least one green salad every day. Eating a salad (with low-fat or fat-free dressing) is filling and may help you eat less during the meal. It also counts toward your five daily cups of vegetables and fruits.
6. Trim the fat. Fat has a lot of calories, and calories count. Purchase lean meats, eat poultry without the skin, switch to lower-fat cheeses, use a nonstick pan with only a dab of oil or butter.
7. Consider calcium by including two or three daily servings of low-fat or fat-free milk or yogurt. Dairy calcium is good for bones and may also help you lose weight.
8. Downsize. The smaller the bag, bottle or bowl, the less you will eat.
9. Lose just 5 to 10 percent of your current weight. The health benefits are huge-lower blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol and triglycerides.
10. Keep track of your eating. Write down what you eat over the next couple of days and look for problem spots. Often, just writing things down can help you eat less.
Until next time, keep working to change the man in the mirror.
"Small steps are achievable and are easier to fit into your daily routine," says James O. Hill, Ph.D., Director of the Center for Human Nutrition at the University of Colorado Health Sciences Center. "They are less overwhelming than a big, sudden change."
Here are 10 to try:
1. Stop gaining weight. Even if you gain just a pound or two every year, the extra weight adds up quickly.
2. Take more small steps. Use a pedometer to count your daily steps; then add 2,000, the equivalent of one extra mile. Keep adding steps, 1,000 to 2,000 each month or so, until you take 10,000 steps on most days.
3. Eat breakfast. Breakfast eaters tend to weigh less and have better diets overall. For a filling and nutrition-packed breakfast, top Whole Grain Total® with fresh fruit slices and low-fat or fat-free milk.
4. Switch three grain servings each day to whole grain. If you're like the average American, you eat less than one whole grain serving a day.
5. Have at least one green salad every day. Eating a salad (with low-fat or fat-free dressing) is filling and may help you eat less during the meal. It also counts toward your five daily cups of vegetables and fruits.
6. Trim the fat. Fat has a lot of calories, and calories count. Purchase lean meats, eat poultry without the skin, switch to lower-fat cheeses, use a nonstick pan with only a dab of oil or butter.
7. Consider calcium by including two or three daily servings of low-fat or fat-free milk or yogurt. Dairy calcium is good for bones and may also help you lose weight.
8. Downsize. The smaller the bag, bottle or bowl, the less you will eat.
9. Lose just 5 to 10 percent of your current weight. The health benefits are huge-lower blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol and triglycerides.
10. Keep track of your eating. Write down what you eat over the next couple of days and look for problem spots. Often, just writing things down can help you eat less.
Until next time, keep working to change the man in the mirror.
Are You a Negative Thinker?
Barbara sought help because of her chronic fatigue. She had been going to different kinds of doctors and trying different nutrition plans for years and nothing was helping her. One of the doctors suggested that she try psychotherapy.
In became evident early in our work together than Barbara was deeply addicted to thinking the worst. Constant negativity went through her mind about every aspect of her life. She would get out of her car and worry about getting robbed. In social situations, she would tell herself that people didn’t like her. She was always worried about money, even though she was a successful graphic designer. Her husband could never do anything right. There was something wrong with every doctor she saw.
Negative thinking causes much stress in the body. She was told to imagine that she was telling these negative thoughts to a child. How would the child feel most of the time? Barbara could see that this child would, of course, feel anxious and stressed much of the time in response to all the negativity and catastrophic thinking.
The medical profession has long told us that stress is one of the leading causes of illness. Stress sets into motion the body’s fight or flight response, pouring cortisol into the body and eventually exhausting the adrenal glands. Adrenal exhaustion can be one of the results of so much negative thinking.
While Barbara could understand the possible effect her negative thinking was having on her health, it was extremely challenging for her to give up her negative thinking. Barbara deeply believed that her negative thinking kept her safe from disappointment. She believed that thinking the negative thought before the bad thing would happen prepared her to deal with it. She didn’t want to be caught off guard. She believed that she could not handle the pain of disappointment, so that if she knew about it ahead of time and actually expected it, she wouldn’t feel disappointed.
In addition, Barbara believed that if she was vigilant enough and thought through all the bad things that could happen, she could prevent them. She believed that by thinking ahead, she could somehow have control over the outcome of things.
Finally, Barbara also started to believed that she could control how people felt about her by acting right and saying the right thing. She was constantly vigilant about her behavior with others in her attempts to control how they felt about her and treated her.
However, in trying to control her feelings, others’ feelings and the outcome of things, Barbara may have been causing her illness. The underlying cause of her negative thinking was her devotion to this control.
The problem with all of this is that it is based on an illusion – the illusion of control. The fact is that Barbara could not foresee every event that could cause her some pain. She was devastated every time something happened that she had not thought of beforehand. How could something painful come out of the blue like that? How could she have not foreseen it?
The paradox of all of this is that, in trying to foresee future catastrophes, Barbara was not present in the moment. Real safety is in being present in the moment so we can respond appropriately to whatever is happening in the moment. When we are fully present in the moment, we are available to receiving information from our inner Guidance. All of us have a Source of Guidance that is always available to us, and that is here to help us and protect us. But we can access our Guidance only when we are fully present in the moment, not when we are trying to control the future.
Barbara is in the process of becoming more aware of her negative thinking. She is not yet healthy, but she has some better days now, days that are lighter and more fun.
Moving out of negative thinking is a process that takes time. If you are a negative thinker, you have been practicing this form of thinking your whole life. It is not going to stop in a day. But if you tune into the stress you feel and learn to connect your stress with your negative thinking, you can slowly change this pattern.
Vitality and joy can be the result of letting go of your negative thinking and learning to be present in the moment.
Ask yourself this one question, are you a negative thinker like Barbara?
In became evident early in our work together than Barbara was deeply addicted to thinking the worst. Constant negativity went through her mind about every aspect of her life. She would get out of her car and worry about getting robbed. In social situations, she would tell herself that people didn’t like her. She was always worried about money, even though she was a successful graphic designer. Her husband could never do anything right. There was something wrong with every doctor she saw.
Negative thinking causes much stress in the body. She was told to imagine that she was telling these negative thoughts to a child. How would the child feel most of the time? Barbara could see that this child would, of course, feel anxious and stressed much of the time in response to all the negativity and catastrophic thinking.
The medical profession has long told us that stress is one of the leading causes of illness. Stress sets into motion the body’s fight or flight response, pouring cortisol into the body and eventually exhausting the adrenal glands. Adrenal exhaustion can be one of the results of so much negative thinking.
While Barbara could understand the possible effect her negative thinking was having on her health, it was extremely challenging for her to give up her negative thinking. Barbara deeply believed that her negative thinking kept her safe from disappointment. She believed that thinking the negative thought before the bad thing would happen prepared her to deal with it. She didn’t want to be caught off guard. She believed that she could not handle the pain of disappointment, so that if she knew about it ahead of time and actually expected it, she wouldn’t feel disappointed.
In addition, Barbara believed that if she was vigilant enough and thought through all the bad things that could happen, she could prevent them. She believed that by thinking ahead, she could somehow have control over the outcome of things.
Finally, Barbara also started to believed that she could control how people felt about her by acting right and saying the right thing. She was constantly vigilant about her behavior with others in her attempts to control how they felt about her and treated her.
However, in trying to control her feelings, others’ feelings and the outcome of things, Barbara may have been causing her illness. The underlying cause of her negative thinking was her devotion to this control.
The problem with all of this is that it is based on an illusion – the illusion of control. The fact is that Barbara could not foresee every event that could cause her some pain. She was devastated every time something happened that she had not thought of beforehand. How could something painful come out of the blue like that? How could she have not foreseen it?
The paradox of all of this is that, in trying to foresee future catastrophes, Barbara was not present in the moment. Real safety is in being present in the moment so we can respond appropriately to whatever is happening in the moment. When we are fully present in the moment, we are available to receiving information from our inner Guidance. All of us have a Source of Guidance that is always available to us, and that is here to help us and protect us. But we can access our Guidance only when we are fully present in the moment, not when we are trying to control the future.
Barbara is in the process of becoming more aware of her negative thinking. She is not yet healthy, but she has some better days now, days that are lighter and more fun.
Moving out of negative thinking is a process that takes time. If you are a negative thinker, you have been practicing this form of thinking your whole life. It is not going to stop in a day. But if you tune into the stress you feel and learn to connect your stress with your negative thinking, you can slowly change this pattern.
Vitality and joy can be the result of letting go of your negative thinking and learning to be present in the moment.
Ask yourself this one question, are you a negative thinker like Barbara?
Monday, September 21, 2009
Impossible Is Just A Word
Everyone, at some point of his or her life, has dreamed of being somebody special, somebody big. Who hasn't fantasized about being the one who hits the game-winning homer? Who hasn't dreamed of being the homecoming queen? And how many times have we dreamed of being rich, or successful, or happy with our relationships?
Often, we dream big dreams and have great aspirations. Unfortunately, our dreams remain just that – dreams. And our aspirations easily collect dust in our attic.
This is a sad turn of events in our life. Instead of experiencing exciting adventures in self actualization, we get caught up in the humdrum of living from day-to-day just barely existing.
But you know what? Life could be so much better, if only we learned to aim higher.
The most common problem to setting goals is the word impossible. Most people get hung up thinking I can't do this. It's too hard. It's too impossible. No one can do this.
However, if everyone thought that, there would be no inventions, no innovations, and no breakthroughs in human accomplishment.
Remember that scientists were baffled when they took a look at the humble bumblebee. Theoretically, they said, it was impossible for the bumblebee to fly. Unfortunately for the bumble, bee no one has told it so. So fly it does.
On the other hand, some people suffer from dreaming totally outrageous dreams and not acting on them. The result? Broken dreams, and tattered aspirations.
If you limit yourself with self-doubt, and self-limiting assumptions, you will never be able to break past what you deem impossible. If you reach too far out into the sky without working towards your goal, you will find yourself clinging on to the impossible dream.
Try this exercise. Take a piece of paper and write down some goals in your life. Under one header, list down things ‘you know you can do’. Under another header, write the things ‘you might be able to do.’ And under one more, list the things that that are ‘impossible for you to do.’
Now look at all the headers strive every day to accomplish the goals that are under things ‘you know you can do’. Check them when you are able to accomplish them. As you slowly are able to check all of your goals under that heading, try accomplishing the goals under the other header-the one that reads ‘you might be able to do.’
As of the items you wrote under things I could do are accomplished, you can move the goals that are under things that are ‘impossible for you to do’ to the list of things ‘you might be able to do.’
As you iterate through this process, you will find out that the goals you thought were impossible become easier to accomplish. And the impossible begin to seem possible after all.
You see, the technique here is not to limit your imagination. It is to aim high, and start working towards that goal little by little. However, it also is unwise to set a goal that is truly unrealistic.
Those who just dream towards a goal without working hard end up disappointed and disillusioned.
On the other hand, if you told someone a hundred years ago that it was possible for man to be on the moon, they would laugh at you. If you had told them that you could send mail from here to the other side of the world in a few seconds, they would say you were out of your mind. But, through sheer desire and perseverance, these impossible dreams are now realities.
Thomas Edison once said that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. Nothing could be truer. For one to accomplish his or her dreams, there has to be had work and discipline. But take note that that 1% has to be a think-big dream, and not some easily accomplished one.
Ask any gym rat and he or she will tell you that there can be no gains unless you are put out of your comfort zone. Remember the saying, “No pain, no gain”? That is as true as it can be.
So dream on, friend! Don’t get caught up with your perceived limitations. Think big and work hard to attain those dreams. As you step up the ladder of progress, you will just about find out that the impossible has just become a little bit more possible.
Often, we dream big dreams and have great aspirations. Unfortunately, our dreams remain just that – dreams. And our aspirations easily collect dust in our attic.
This is a sad turn of events in our life. Instead of experiencing exciting adventures in self actualization, we get caught up in the humdrum of living from day-to-day just barely existing.
But you know what? Life could be so much better, if only we learned to aim higher.
The most common problem to setting goals is the word impossible. Most people get hung up thinking I can't do this. It's too hard. It's too impossible. No one can do this.
However, if everyone thought that, there would be no inventions, no innovations, and no breakthroughs in human accomplishment.
Remember that scientists were baffled when they took a look at the humble bumblebee. Theoretically, they said, it was impossible for the bumblebee to fly. Unfortunately for the bumble, bee no one has told it so. So fly it does.
On the other hand, some people suffer from dreaming totally outrageous dreams and not acting on them. The result? Broken dreams, and tattered aspirations.
If you limit yourself with self-doubt, and self-limiting assumptions, you will never be able to break past what you deem impossible. If you reach too far out into the sky without working towards your goal, you will find yourself clinging on to the impossible dream.
Try this exercise. Take a piece of paper and write down some goals in your life. Under one header, list down things ‘you know you can do’. Under another header, write the things ‘you might be able to do.’ And under one more, list the things that that are ‘impossible for you to do.’
Now look at all the headers strive every day to accomplish the goals that are under things ‘you know you can do’. Check them when you are able to accomplish them. As you slowly are able to check all of your goals under that heading, try accomplishing the goals under the other header-the one that reads ‘you might be able to do.’
As of the items you wrote under things I could do are accomplished, you can move the goals that are under things that are ‘impossible for you to do’ to the list of things ‘you might be able to do.’
As you iterate through this process, you will find out that the goals you thought were impossible become easier to accomplish. And the impossible begin to seem possible after all.
You see, the technique here is not to limit your imagination. It is to aim high, and start working towards that goal little by little. However, it also is unwise to set a goal that is truly unrealistic.
Those who just dream towards a goal without working hard end up disappointed and disillusioned.
On the other hand, if you told someone a hundred years ago that it was possible for man to be on the moon, they would laugh at you. If you had told them that you could send mail from here to the other side of the world in a few seconds, they would say you were out of your mind. But, through sheer desire and perseverance, these impossible dreams are now realities.
Thomas Edison once said that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. Nothing could be truer. For one to accomplish his or her dreams, there has to be had work and discipline. But take note that that 1% has to be a think-big dream, and not some easily accomplished one.
Ask any gym rat and he or she will tell you that there can be no gains unless you are put out of your comfort zone. Remember the saying, “No pain, no gain”? That is as true as it can be.
So dream on, friend! Don’t get caught up with your perceived limitations. Think big and work hard to attain those dreams. As you step up the ladder of progress, you will just about find out that the impossible has just become a little bit more possible.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Beating Depression By Taking Action
Depression can come on us at any time of the year. Sometimes, holidays are the worst times for those that feel this down-in-the-dumps fear and worry and things just seem to happen to make us feel gloomy and sad. Note that this feeling happens to all of us at one time or another. How to recognize the feeling and know what to do about it is the purpose of this article.
No one can or should ignore this feeling. It is universal and the blues are very much ingrained in our world. Music and movies are legendary in handling this subject. If the feeling is too overwhelming, then sometimes professional help is the desired action. We will just talk here about the funk of depression, the knotted thinking that nothing is right and it will only get worse. The following things are suggested to help:
1. Laughing is the best medicine is an old adage, but so true. It is amazing how when you are depressed, just laughing about something and releasing the stress, can make you feel better. If you are having trouble finding something to laugh about, maybe you can find some people to keep close that cheer you up, that you can call when you feel bad, those who you know will let you apply the "strength in numbers" theory. Invite a few good friends over just to talk and have an appetizer and you will see how much better you feel afterwards.
2. Listening to music is another key to overcoming depression. If you can just relax and let the type of music you love drift over you and enter your senses, you will find that you calm down and feel better. Even as babies in the womb, we respond to music. Maybe you will find you want to get up and dance and there is nothing wrong with that - even without a partner! Just move to the beat and let all your stress flow out of your fingertips and toes.
3. Do some work and you will find you feel less depressed. There is something about a clean bathroom, living room, or kitchen that gives most women a sense of pride and order and joy. Men sometimes enjoy doing some of the same work and experiencing the same attitudes. The point is you just need to get out and do something that moves your body. Maybe you can shoot hoops in the driveway, ride a bicycle through the neighborhood and say "HI" to a few of your neighbors. There is something to be said for just watching a sunset and realizing how mighty the world is and how we are just one part of it. That sometimes seems to put our troubles more in perspective.
4. While we are on that thought, why not try prayer when you feel depressed? Try helping out someone less fortunate. Think of hospital patients and know that they most likely have things worse than you. Yet, you see happier children and adults in some of the worst settings in the hospital. Count your blessings. Hug someone or maybe go through some old pictures of happy times with your family.
Doing productive activities will always perk you up. Think positively about your life and the things you have been given and do not dwell on the problems. Take your dog for a walk and relish in the animal's unending enjoyment at seeing you and being with you. Sometimes simple undemanding love is all we need to overcome the blue feeling.
The last suggestion may sound unusual, but here it is. EAT ICE CREAM! Yes, just swirling that cold stuff around on your tongue and all the different flavors can make you feel good! The idea is to eat something that you totally enjoy and see how hard it is to be depressed when you have your favorite food and are enjoying it. The world just seems a little better!
Of course, all the suggestions given above may not apply to everyone. But give them a try and who knows...maybe they can help just a little. Keep this list handy and the next time you are feeling a little down, find something that triggers the best response to get you to feel happy again. Be aware that when depression creeps in, you need to take action and beat the depression back to the corner where it belongs.
We all have more important things to do in life than feel blue and depressed. Keep this thought in-mind and may your life be filled with joy.
No one can or should ignore this feeling. It is universal and the blues are very much ingrained in our world. Music and movies are legendary in handling this subject. If the feeling is too overwhelming, then sometimes professional help is the desired action. We will just talk here about the funk of depression, the knotted thinking that nothing is right and it will only get worse. The following things are suggested to help:
1. Laughing is the best medicine is an old adage, but so true. It is amazing how when you are depressed, just laughing about something and releasing the stress, can make you feel better. If you are having trouble finding something to laugh about, maybe you can find some people to keep close that cheer you up, that you can call when you feel bad, those who you know will let you apply the "strength in numbers" theory. Invite a few good friends over just to talk and have an appetizer and you will see how much better you feel afterwards.
2. Listening to music is another key to overcoming depression. If you can just relax and let the type of music you love drift over you and enter your senses, you will find that you calm down and feel better. Even as babies in the womb, we respond to music. Maybe you will find you want to get up and dance and there is nothing wrong with that - even without a partner! Just move to the beat and let all your stress flow out of your fingertips and toes.
3. Do some work and you will find you feel less depressed. There is something about a clean bathroom, living room, or kitchen that gives most women a sense of pride and order and joy. Men sometimes enjoy doing some of the same work and experiencing the same attitudes. The point is you just need to get out and do something that moves your body. Maybe you can shoot hoops in the driveway, ride a bicycle through the neighborhood and say "HI" to a few of your neighbors. There is something to be said for just watching a sunset and realizing how mighty the world is and how we are just one part of it. That sometimes seems to put our troubles more in perspective.
4. While we are on that thought, why not try prayer when you feel depressed? Try helping out someone less fortunate. Think of hospital patients and know that they most likely have things worse than you. Yet, you see happier children and adults in some of the worst settings in the hospital. Count your blessings. Hug someone or maybe go through some old pictures of happy times with your family.
Doing productive activities will always perk you up. Think positively about your life and the things you have been given and do not dwell on the problems. Take your dog for a walk and relish in the animal's unending enjoyment at seeing you and being with you. Sometimes simple undemanding love is all we need to overcome the blue feeling.
The last suggestion may sound unusual, but here it is. EAT ICE CREAM! Yes, just swirling that cold stuff around on your tongue and all the different flavors can make you feel good! The idea is to eat something that you totally enjoy and see how hard it is to be depressed when you have your favorite food and are enjoying it. The world just seems a little better!
Of course, all the suggestions given above may not apply to everyone. But give them a try and who knows...maybe they can help just a little. Keep this list handy and the next time you are feeling a little down, find something that triggers the best response to get you to feel happy again. Be aware that when depression creeps in, you need to take action and beat the depression back to the corner where it belongs.
We all have more important things to do in life than feel blue and depressed. Keep this thought in-mind and may your life be filled with joy.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
A Good Smelling Man – There is Nothing Better
There really is nothing better than a man who smells fantastic, one that you can't get close enough to, and one you never want to leave. The fragrance industry over the years has designed some wonderful and alluring scents for men. There are now more than just a few choices of men's cologne in the fragrance department in the shopping mall. However, most people still reach for the tried and true when it comes to men's cologne.
Stetson is the company who has brought us the fragrances of what a man should smell like. When a person thinks of masculine scents, real man scents, Stetson is what comes to mind. Over the years they have produced and added some truly amazing scents to their collection.
Stetson Original is the legendary scent of the American West. It's a rich and masculine blend of both rugged woods and spice. If you are looking for something a little more sexy and sophisticated yet still exude the American West, give Stetson Black a try. It's warm spices and fresh woods, masculine with just a hint of leather and suede notes, a sexy, intense, irresistible fragrance.
Nothing says American West like a cowboy. While out taming wild Mustangs Stetson Untamed is the scent for the intense thrill-seeking cowboy. Untamed combines bergamot with the masculine notes of cedar, suede, and oak. If you don't have a cowboy waiting in the wings, but have always wanted one, give the gift of Untamed. You won't be disappointed.
If you are looking for something a little bit different yet still from the legendary fragrance line of Stetson, try the Stetson Sierra. This fragrance is a bold Western fragrance with a blend of citrus, sage, and fresh green woods. A bold and masculine scent. Do you know someone masculine enough to wear it?
The newest fragrance Stetson has added to their line is Fresh. This scent was inspired by water, the brisk air, and the beautiful lush greenery of the mountains. The light blend of spices and citrus woods makes this a wonderful addition to the Stetson line.
When buying cologne for yourself or to give as a gift there really is a magnitude of scents to choose from. However, most men reach for the tried and true, masculine scents. The fragrances that were designed with the alpha males and the men's men in mind, the fragrances that will make the women smile and keep thinking of you long after the date is over. Stetson has the market when it comes to cologne for men.
Stetson is the company who has brought us the fragrances of what a man should smell like. When a person thinks of masculine scents, real man scents, Stetson is what comes to mind. Over the years they have produced and added some truly amazing scents to their collection.
Stetson Original is the legendary scent of the American West. It's a rich and masculine blend of both rugged woods and spice. If you are looking for something a little more sexy and sophisticated yet still exude the American West, give Stetson Black a try. It's warm spices and fresh woods, masculine with just a hint of leather and suede notes, a sexy, intense, irresistible fragrance.
Nothing says American West like a cowboy. While out taming wild Mustangs Stetson Untamed is the scent for the intense thrill-seeking cowboy. Untamed combines bergamot with the masculine notes of cedar, suede, and oak. If you don't have a cowboy waiting in the wings, but have always wanted one, give the gift of Untamed. You won't be disappointed.
If you are looking for something a little bit different yet still from the legendary fragrance line of Stetson, try the Stetson Sierra. This fragrance is a bold Western fragrance with a blend of citrus, sage, and fresh green woods. A bold and masculine scent. Do you know someone masculine enough to wear it?
The newest fragrance Stetson has added to their line is Fresh. This scent was inspired by water, the brisk air, and the beautiful lush greenery of the mountains. The light blend of spices and citrus woods makes this a wonderful addition to the Stetson line.
When buying cologne for yourself or to give as a gift there really is a magnitude of scents to choose from. However, most men reach for the tried and true, masculine scents. The fragrances that were designed with the alpha males and the men's men in mind, the fragrances that will make the women smile and keep thinking of you long after the date is over. Stetson has the market when it comes to cologne for men.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Fighting Your Fears
Most of us have experienced each of the fears mentioned or seen other people experience them. They can have a dramatic effect on individuals and the world in which we live…
Take some time to think about yourself and your life…what aspects are you unhappy with and would like to change? What fears lie behind these aspects? It is not always easy to identify fears as they can be subtle, persuasive or addictive silently directing your behaviour. Recognising them and their influence can be complex and may involve taking a long, hard look at your life.
Fear encourages us to stay stuck and not to embrace change. The more you dislike or avoid change the greater your underlying fears. If the unexpected disturbs you, then fear is holding you in its grip.
For most of us overcoming our fears (of whatever) takes time and we also need a real desire to want to put the fear to bed.
The following sayings are ones that I have found useful over the last few years – if any resonate with you put them where you can refer to them regularly and keep repeating them to yourself.
Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness
Ships in harbour are safe but that is not what ships are for
Security is not having things, it’s handling things
Whenever you feel “I am afraid” replace it with “ I am excited”
Replace “I am vulnerable” with “I am protected”
Meditate to help release your fears
Here is a simple meditation which you can do to help release any fears you may have. Start by deciding which fear is the one you would most like to get rid of now…there is no need to rush the meditation, just go forward at a gentle and unhurried pace.
• Focus on the specific fear
• Breathe slowly in and out, visualizing your breath washing the fear until it is totally transparent
• When you have done this, see the fear in your mind’s eye burst into flames and burn itself out
• As it is burning, feel peaceful energy flow out of your heart and into the rest of your body, your mind and your daily life
• As you practice, you will feel a weight being lifted from your shoulders and your fear will lose its sting
• As you become aware of this, breathe slowly and see yourself covered in a halo of flames which cannot hurt you but which are just burning away all obstructions
Counselling Spain says: Remember, when you worry about things or are scared of something happening you create negative energy and according to the spiritual law of attraction you will end up attracting the things you don’t want into your life…
Take some time to think about yourself and your life…what aspects are you unhappy with and would like to change? What fears lie behind these aspects? It is not always easy to identify fears as they can be subtle, persuasive or addictive silently directing your behaviour. Recognising them and their influence can be complex and may involve taking a long, hard look at your life.
Fear encourages us to stay stuck and not to embrace change. The more you dislike or avoid change the greater your underlying fears. If the unexpected disturbs you, then fear is holding you in its grip.
For most of us overcoming our fears (of whatever) takes time and we also need a real desire to want to put the fear to bed.
The following sayings are ones that I have found useful over the last few years – if any resonate with you put them where you can refer to them regularly and keep repeating them to yourself.
Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness
Ships in harbour are safe but that is not what ships are for
Security is not having things, it’s handling things
Whenever you feel “I am afraid” replace it with “ I am excited”
Replace “I am vulnerable” with “I am protected”
Meditate to help release your fears
Here is a simple meditation which you can do to help release any fears you may have. Start by deciding which fear is the one you would most like to get rid of now…there is no need to rush the meditation, just go forward at a gentle and unhurried pace.
• Focus on the specific fear
• Breathe slowly in and out, visualizing your breath washing the fear until it is totally transparent
• When you have done this, see the fear in your mind’s eye burst into flames and burn itself out
• As it is burning, feel peaceful energy flow out of your heart and into the rest of your body, your mind and your daily life
• As you practice, you will feel a weight being lifted from your shoulders and your fear will lose its sting
• As you become aware of this, breathe slowly and see yourself covered in a halo of flames which cannot hurt you but which are just burning away all obstructions
Counselling Spain says: Remember, when you worry about things or are scared of something happening you create negative energy and according to the spiritual law of attraction you will end up attracting the things you don’t want into your life…
Monday, August 18, 2008
Guidelines for Preventing Identity Theft
Preventing identity theft is not a difficult task, as you simply have to put common sense into practice. Whenever you are through with any mail, prescription bottles or any other trash that contains your personal information you should shred what you can and black out info on pieces that cannot be shredded. This keeps those thieves who dig in trash searching for info to be left dirty and empty handed.
You also have to protect your information online. If you are interested in any information online that requires you to provide personal information, never provide your bank account or social security number. There are scam artists who will take your personal information and sell it to those who will use it to make purchases in your name running your credit.
You should also be wary when you use your credit cards or checks when shopping protect the visibility of these numbers as there are scam artists who will photograph your banking information for fraud use.
By following simple guidelines such as these you can ensure your personal information is safe from the eyes and hands of those who are up to no good. You should also be aware of your credit reports and what is on them as you can view for any criminal occurrences and report them if necessary.
Far too many times we believe that this can't happen to us but if you look you will find that your neighbor or even your sibling has had a level of this happen to you.
If you are looking for further information about identity theft, you can find an abundance of information online. By taking the time to provide yourself with knowledge of identity theft than you know how to protect yourself. Prevention is key to not becoming a victim of identity theft.
You also have to protect your information online. If you are interested in any information online that requires you to provide personal information, never provide your bank account or social security number. There are scam artists who will take your personal information and sell it to those who will use it to make purchases in your name running your credit.
You should also be wary when you use your credit cards or checks when shopping protect the visibility of these numbers as there are scam artists who will photograph your banking information for fraud use.
By following simple guidelines such as these you can ensure your personal information is safe from the eyes and hands of those who are up to no good. You should also be aware of your credit reports and what is on them as you can view for any criminal occurrences and report them if necessary.
Far too many times we believe that this can't happen to us but if you look you will find that your neighbor or even your sibling has had a level of this happen to you.
If you are looking for further information about identity theft, you can find an abundance of information online. By taking the time to provide yourself with knowledge of identity theft than you know how to protect yourself. Prevention is key to not becoming a victim of identity theft.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Breaking Free From Self-Limiting Habits
'We need to think differently to shift our paradigms
to a new, deeper, "inside-out" level'; Stephen R. Covey
In the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey describes habits as "consistent, often unconscious patterns which constantly, daily express our character and produce our effectiveness, or ineffectiveness".
Who we are and what we become is a direct result of our habits. It is in the realm of habits that our character is born, nurtured and outwardly expressed. What we see from the outside is a direct reflection of those deeply embedded habits that have gradually, steadily and consistently ingrained themselves into our psyche. Our behavior is therefore informed by these habits, which with time become so deeply ingrained into our minds that changing them is like attempting to break mountains with bare hands.
Breaking free from these deeply-embedded habits is a tall order, especially if they have been acquired over a long period of time. The longer it takes to acquire certain habits, the more difficult it is to break them. And this is not necessarily a bad thing; especially if the habits acquired are positive. Positive habits should be encouraged, even developed where they are lacking.
According Mike Bressica, success comes from behaviors, which start out as thoughts. To change your habits or behaviors, you will need to have different thoughts. What occupies your mind; your thoughts; propels you to behave in a certain way. If you don't like the results of your behavior, all you need to do is to change your thoughts. The Bible talks of renewing our mind as a way of transforming ourselves into good, acceptable and perfect people that always seek to do the will of God (Rom 12.2).
Renewing or shifting from our current thoughts to those that we desire brings about transformation or change in our lives. This is what is known as having a paradigm shift; adopting a new way of thinking, of doing things, of behavior.
The good thing about habits is that they are acquired over time through learning, nuances, brainwashing and experiences. Since they are acquired, they can be replaced by changing the thought patterns that fostered them in the first place.
To replace negative, self-limiting thought patterns, which Mike Bressica calls "mental patterns of failure", we must set as a first goal to reduce the impact of these patterns. And this cannot be done overnight. Just as it took time to acquire these mental patterns of failure, it will take time to release them and replace them with 'mental patterns of success'.
Paul talking to the Church in Rome expressed his frustration with his inability to rein in his patterns of failure. It appeared to him that he was fighting a losing battle with his mind as he found himself doing the very evil that he did not want to do; and not doing the good that he wanted to (Romans 7: 19).
Like so many of us, Paul was at a crossroad. On one side lay the old self-limiting patterns of failure; and on the other, his desire to release these negative patterns, which always led him to do evil, and replace them with those that would propel him into a transformed life of doing good.
Highly successful people are those who rid themselves of their patterns of failure by brushing off distractions. When you have no pattern of failure limiting your progress, you are able to overcome temporary setbacks at the thought level. Since the battle for success is won or lost at the thought level, your success or failure in this arena is what makes you successful or unsuccessful. Success comes naturally when you learn how to control your thought patterns. As Bressica says, if you muster the art of thought control, you will not be 'tempted to act opposite to what you know is best. You can keep fear at a minimum. Doubt is nowhere to be found.'
But how do you unlearn limiting thought patterns that you have picked up from childhood? How do you break down inscrutable blocks of negative habits that have been distilled and cemented into your psyche since childhood? To merely tell you to change your paradigm would be as vain as telling a hungry person to be filled without giving him food to eat. What we hear, see, experience or sense has a direct bearing on the formation of our habits; which are informed by thoughts, and which are then acted out in the form of behavior.
Thoughts are the foundation on which our habits are formed. These habits, depending on their nature, in turn inform our actions or behavior; and success or lack of it solely depends on the actions we take. To take that crucial first step in starting your own business, you must first of all unlearn the employee mentality and start seeing yourself as a successful entrepreneur.
But to achieve this paradigm shift is no mean fit. What with years of being told to study hard so that, when you grow up, you will get a good job? To break away from this mold of thinking and start seeing or thinking yourself as a successful business person requires much more than positive affirmations such as 'I can do it'. If 'I can do it' is out of tandem with your thought pattern, then, try as much as you will, you can’t do it.
to a new, deeper, "inside-out" level'; Stephen R. Covey
In the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey describes habits as "consistent, often unconscious patterns which constantly, daily express our character and produce our effectiveness, or ineffectiveness".
Who we are and what we become is a direct result of our habits. It is in the realm of habits that our character is born, nurtured and outwardly expressed. What we see from the outside is a direct reflection of those deeply embedded habits that have gradually, steadily and consistently ingrained themselves into our psyche. Our behavior is therefore informed by these habits, which with time become so deeply ingrained into our minds that changing them is like attempting to break mountains with bare hands.
Breaking free from these deeply-embedded habits is a tall order, especially if they have been acquired over a long period of time. The longer it takes to acquire certain habits, the more difficult it is to break them. And this is not necessarily a bad thing; especially if the habits acquired are positive. Positive habits should be encouraged, even developed where they are lacking.
According Mike Bressica, success comes from behaviors, which start out as thoughts. To change your habits or behaviors, you will need to have different thoughts. What occupies your mind; your thoughts; propels you to behave in a certain way. If you don't like the results of your behavior, all you need to do is to change your thoughts. The Bible talks of renewing our mind as a way of transforming ourselves into good, acceptable and perfect people that always seek to do the will of God (Rom 12.2).
Renewing or shifting from our current thoughts to those that we desire brings about transformation or change in our lives. This is what is known as having a paradigm shift; adopting a new way of thinking, of doing things, of behavior.
The good thing about habits is that they are acquired over time through learning, nuances, brainwashing and experiences. Since they are acquired, they can be replaced by changing the thought patterns that fostered them in the first place.
To replace negative, self-limiting thought patterns, which Mike Bressica calls "mental patterns of failure", we must set as a first goal to reduce the impact of these patterns. And this cannot be done overnight. Just as it took time to acquire these mental patterns of failure, it will take time to release them and replace them with 'mental patterns of success'.
Paul talking to the Church in Rome expressed his frustration with his inability to rein in his patterns of failure. It appeared to him that he was fighting a losing battle with his mind as he found himself doing the very evil that he did not want to do; and not doing the good that he wanted to (Romans 7: 19).
Like so many of us, Paul was at a crossroad. On one side lay the old self-limiting patterns of failure; and on the other, his desire to release these negative patterns, which always led him to do evil, and replace them with those that would propel him into a transformed life of doing good.
Highly successful people are those who rid themselves of their patterns of failure by brushing off distractions. When you have no pattern of failure limiting your progress, you are able to overcome temporary setbacks at the thought level. Since the battle for success is won or lost at the thought level, your success or failure in this arena is what makes you successful or unsuccessful. Success comes naturally when you learn how to control your thought patterns. As Bressica says, if you muster the art of thought control, you will not be 'tempted to act opposite to what you know is best. You can keep fear at a minimum. Doubt is nowhere to be found.'
But how do you unlearn limiting thought patterns that you have picked up from childhood? How do you break down inscrutable blocks of negative habits that have been distilled and cemented into your psyche since childhood? To merely tell you to change your paradigm would be as vain as telling a hungry person to be filled without giving him food to eat. What we hear, see, experience or sense has a direct bearing on the formation of our habits; which are informed by thoughts, and which are then acted out in the form of behavior.
Thoughts are the foundation on which our habits are formed. These habits, depending on their nature, in turn inform our actions or behavior; and success or lack of it solely depends on the actions we take. To take that crucial first step in starting your own business, you must first of all unlearn the employee mentality and start seeing yourself as a successful entrepreneur.
But to achieve this paradigm shift is no mean fit. What with years of being told to study hard so that, when you grow up, you will get a good job? To break away from this mold of thinking and start seeing or thinking yourself as a successful business person requires much more than positive affirmations such as 'I can do it'. If 'I can do it' is out of tandem with your thought pattern, then, try as much as you will, you can’t do it.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Confident Public Speaking: Check This "Avoid At All Costs" List
In the pursuit of confident public speaking skills, it is important to accept that nervousness may never be completely eliminated in some public speakers. This is not necessarily bad. A certain amount of nervousness can be positively channeled to enhance performance.
Nevertheless, confident public speaking does involve learning not to betray one's nervousness through obvious body signals.
Familiarize yourself with the items in the list below and either check yourself through a video playback of your next presentation or have a close friend or colleague critique your presentation by looking out for these indicators that betray a lack of confidence in public speaking.
Mannerisms and Awkward Gestures
As well as destroying your professionalism, they can be very distracting for an audience. Get a friend or partner to alert you if you begin doing any of the following:
stand with one leg wrapped around the other
stand on the sides of one's shoes
keep touching the nose, mouth, ears, or any part of the face
lean on the speaker's stand using it as a prop
keep putting hands in and out of pockets
fiddling with one's wrist watch
repeatedly swallowing
buttoning and unbuttoning the jacket
standing with hands clasped behind the back
Visual Aid Dangers
If you use a flip chart, whiteboard, or projection screen, avoid constantly fiddling with the marker pen, mouse, or projector control as if they were worry beads. This can be distracting and betray a certain nervousness.
Far better to have your hands free, only picking up the marker or control when you intend to use it and then put it back again on the table or speaker's stand.
Using your hands deliberately for descriptive or emphatic gestures will be far more effective than haphazardly waving a marker pen or projector control in the air.
What Do You Do With Your Hands?
Confident public speaking means you know what to do you with your hands.
When you are not using them to gesture, let them hang by your side loosely and naturally. They won't remain there for long if you are giving an animated presentation.
Your hands and arms will frequently be moving, gesturing, but in between times, just let them hang loose, ready and waiting.
Concentrate On Ideas
Confident public speaking involves the ability to concentrate on expressing your IDEAS rather than exact words. Doing this will go a long way in helping you avoid the mannerisms noted above.
This will allow your delivery to flow which makes it easy on the ears and listenable as opposed to a stop/start style of delivery.
Apart from your introduction and conclusion which require more attention to exact wording, thorough preparation and total immersion in your subject will allow you to speak extemporaneously without worrying overly about exact word choice.
The latter can result in a speaker gazing into the air fumbling for the right word which in time will destroy the concentration of the audience.
Even if you don't feel you are confident in public speaking, you don't have to advertise the fact. Use the checklist above to spot and avoid obvious signs of nervousness and you will at least leave the audience relaxed and engrossed rather than distracted.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Drawing What You Need Towards You
I walked away with my tail between my legs. Sure, the error was all mine. I had a list of people I'd spoken to and one name was really obscure and neither Jo nor I knew who they were.
I sat down and thought about it. 'Who are you?' I asked. 'Make yourself known to me again?'
With that I turned my attention to other matters. That's when the phone rang and the person on the list revealed themselves to me.
Now if we want to be cynical we could say that the materialisation of that phone call was just coincidence - that this person just happened to call and remind me who they were. But what are the chances?
First, I just happened to have written the name badly on the list. Second, Jo just happened to spot my error. Third, we just happened to be discussing the person. Fourth, I just happened to ask for that person to make themselves known to me again. And it all just happened to happen, in the space of an hour.
What odds would you give on that happening?
This kind of thing happens to me too often for me to doubt that there is some greater connection going on between all our minds - a higher awareness.
How does it work?
First we ask for things. Second we have to be consciously aware of what's happening to us. It's important that we follow events as they unfold rather than letting our mind get in the way. It's also important to do it with a sense of humour and to celebrate in some way when the universe provides.
As soon as our mind gets in the way we break the chain of events and distort what the universe is creating - often ending up with something we didn't want.
When we put our attention on finding a solution or a person we are brought into connection with minds - sometimes people we know, sometimes people we didn't know - who are prepared to answer our call for help.
These people have the will to help, if you have the will to let them in. What often occurs when our call is answered is a discussion to see if help is possible. Oddly, as a quirk of human nature, we sometimes repel people who come to help and either we reject them or they decide they just cannot help us.
While I know synchronicity happens, I'm in no way attached to it happening. I put out a call for things and get on with life. There is no hankering. I ask, then I read, jog, make phone calls or do whatever I have to do while staying open to what happens.
I think it's fair to say that attachment to an outcome is the biggest block that can get in the way. The times in my life when I've had no money are the hardest times to create money. When I've been in pain, it's hard to imagine no pain.
But each time I've asked for a person to show up who can guide me (that's guide me - not do for me), they've shown up and helped me. From their life got better.
You'll find some very simple tips below. Please take note, this is a very simple version I'm giving you because all our situations differ. This basic outline is however workable for us all.
1. Think of one think that you feel you life needs right now.
2. Be clear on what you want.
3. Write it down
4. See it happening in the mind.
5. Now go about your daily life, aware that answers will come to direct you.
6. Keep doubt out. Stay positive.
Love and good wishes
Neil
CommunitySoul - Neil Fellowes
I sat down and thought about it. 'Who are you?' I asked. 'Make yourself known to me again?'
With that I turned my attention to other matters. That's when the phone rang and the person on the list revealed themselves to me.
Now if we want to be cynical we could say that the materialisation of that phone call was just coincidence - that this person just happened to call and remind me who they were. But what are the chances?
First, I just happened to have written the name badly on the list. Second, Jo just happened to spot my error. Third, we just happened to be discussing the person. Fourth, I just happened to ask for that person to make themselves known to me again. And it all just happened to happen, in the space of an hour.
What odds would you give on that happening?
This kind of thing happens to me too often for me to doubt that there is some greater connection going on between all our minds - a higher awareness.
How does it work?
First we ask for things. Second we have to be consciously aware of what's happening to us. It's important that we follow events as they unfold rather than letting our mind get in the way. It's also important to do it with a sense of humour and to celebrate in some way when the universe provides.
As soon as our mind gets in the way we break the chain of events and distort what the universe is creating - often ending up with something we didn't want.
When we put our attention on finding a solution or a person we are brought into connection with minds - sometimes people we know, sometimes people we didn't know - who are prepared to answer our call for help.
These people have the will to help, if you have the will to let them in. What often occurs when our call is answered is a discussion to see if help is possible. Oddly, as a quirk of human nature, we sometimes repel people who come to help and either we reject them or they decide they just cannot help us.
While I know synchronicity happens, I'm in no way attached to it happening. I put out a call for things and get on with life. There is no hankering. I ask, then I read, jog, make phone calls or do whatever I have to do while staying open to what happens.
I think it's fair to say that attachment to an outcome is the biggest block that can get in the way. The times in my life when I've had no money are the hardest times to create money. When I've been in pain, it's hard to imagine no pain.
But each time I've asked for a person to show up who can guide me (that's guide me - not do for me), they've shown up and helped me. From their life got better.
You'll find some very simple tips below. Please take note, this is a very simple version I'm giving you because all our situations differ. This basic outline is however workable for us all.
1. Think of one think that you feel you life needs right now.
2. Be clear on what you want.
3. Write it down
4. See it happening in the mind.
5. Now go about your daily life, aware that answers will come to direct you.
6. Keep doubt out. Stay positive.
Love and good wishes
Neil
CommunitySoul - Neil Fellowes
Monday, June 30, 2008
Navigate Through Life With Goals
Why are setting goals important? Everything activity we undertake has a goal. For example:
1. Playing golf has a goal.
2. Watching TV has a goal. Its goal is for entertainment, or (as some of us would believe) for relaxation.
3. Reading a book has a goal. Its goal is for knowledge, relaxation, increasing vocabulary.
4. Going to work has a goal. It has a personal goal, a career/professional goal.
5. Spending time with family has a goal.
6. Choosing to do nothing has a goal. Its goal may be to seriously do nothing after a hectic day.
7. Exercising has a goal. Its goal is to keep fit, look good, feel good.
The list goes on. Every activity we undertake has a goal. It is whether we are conscious of it or not. It also becomes overwhelming when you realise there are so many goals.
As written in my previous post, take goal setting and execution a step at a time. If you have never done goal setting and execution before, focus on one or two categories for a start. Take action on each of these on a daily basis. Let me repeat that, take action on a daily basis. In this way, you will begin to achieve your goal and gain confidence to set new and loftier goals!
Why are goals important? Many will say that it provides direction in life. It provides us with clarity to what we want and where we are headed. There is another important aspect of goals.
Our goals help provide us with a balanced life. Most of us will work very hard at our careers, and maybe spend little time on family, health, wealth, hoping that our careers will take care of all our others worries. 'Hope' is not a strategy. You have to take control of your own life and destiny.
By setting our goals, we own part of our destiny. By taking action towards our goal, we are creating our destiny. Goals provide us with a more balanced view of our lives. Review your goals daily. When you see that you are actively taking small steps towards your goal, you will feel a sense of great satisfaction with yourself. Review of your goals help you to take stock of where you are in life. With every small active step taken towards your goal achievement, it inspires you to push on to achieve your dreams, no matter the size of your dream.
Importance and size of your goal is of no concern. To each his own. Its what's important to you that counts, not what others say.
If you are a parent, share your goals and dreams with your children and family. Tell them the small steps you have taken towards your goal. It shows them that goals with no execution remains only a dream. Let them share their dreams with you frequently and help them to take positive action. Reviewing daily helps them become the dream. They will live the dream and the dream goal becomes real. It inspires them to take more action and in time, achieve their goals.
Use this technique of sharing and reviewing goals with your friends, or staff at work and you will be amazed at the difference it makes when an organization knows its goals and sees progress being made daily.
There is so much merit in setting goals. The sad part is that many set it once and re-set it again one year later. Many begin executing the actions only to have their efforts fizzle out.
If you simply review your goals without reviewing the actions taken to get closer to achieving your goals, its not much use. You will not be inspired. Review your goals and actions daily. Change course if you need to. Its your life and your goals after all. Reviewing your actions daily will give you the inspiration to take more action.
Actions speak louder than words. Setting goals without taking action is as good as writing in water (which leaves no trace of what you wrote). Go ahead. Take action today. Take action now. Do not wait. Take action, no matter how small the action it. Take action now and you will feel the momentum created, pushing you to take more action until you achieve your goals.
---------------------------
Copyright © Bernard Ong, 2006.
All Rights Reserved
Bernard Ong is an IT professional interested in helping others by sharing his experience on time management and effectiveness topics. Bernard writes about his interest at http://www.bernard-ong.com. Copyright Bernard Ong, 2006. All rights reserved.
1. Playing golf has a goal.
2. Watching TV has a goal. Its goal is for entertainment, or (as some of us would believe) for relaxation.
3. Reading a book has a goal. Its goal is for knowledge, relaxation, increasing vocabulary.
4. Going to work has a goal. It has a personal goal, a career/professional goal.
5. Spending time with family has a goal.
6. Choosing to do nothing has a goal. Its goal may be to seriously do nothing after a hectic day.
7. Exercising has a goal. Its goal is to keep fit, look good, feel good.
The list goes on. Every activity we undertake has a goal. It is whether we are conscious of it or not. It also becomes overwhelming when you realise there are so many goals.
As written in my previous post, take goal setting and execution a step at a time. If you have never done goal setting and execution before, focus on one or two categories for a start. Take action on each of these on a daily basis. Let me repeat that, take action on a daily basis. In this way, you will begin to achieve your goal and gain confidence to set new and loftier goals!
Why are goals important? Many will say that it provides direction in life. It provides us with clarity to what we want and where we are headed. There is another important aspect of goals.
Our goals help provide us with a balanced life. Most of us will work very hard at our careers, and maybe spend little time on family, health, wealth, hoping that our careers will take care of all our others worries. 'Hope' is not a strategy. You have to take control of your own life and destiny.
By setting our goals, we own part of our destiny. By taking action towards our goal, we are creating our destiny. Goals provide us with a more balanced view of our lives. Review your goals daily. When you see that you are actively taking small steps towards your goal, you will feel a sense of great satisfaction with yourself. Review of your goals help you to take stock of where you are in life. With every small active step taken towards your goal achievement, it inspires you to push on to achieve your dreams, no matter the size of your dream.
Importance and size of your goal is of no concern. To each his own. Its what's important to you that counts, not what others say.
If you are a parent, share your goals and dreams with your children and family. Tell them the small steps you have taken towards your goal. It shows them that goals with no execution remains only a dream. Let them share their dreams with you frequently and help them to take positive action. Reviewing daily helps them become the dream. They will live the dream and the dream goal becomes real. It inspires them to take more action and in time, achieve their goals.
Use this technique of sharing and reviewing goals with your friends, or staff at work and you will be amazed at the difference it makes when an organization knows its goals and sees progress being made daily.
There is so much merit in setting goals. The sad part is that many set it once and re-set it again one year later. Many begin executing the actions only to have their efforts fizzle out.
If you simply review your goals without reviewing the actions taken to get closer to achieving your goals, its not much use. You will not be inspired. Review your goals and actions daily. Change course if you need to. Its your life and your goals after all. Reviewing your actions daily will give you the inspiration to take more action.
Actions speak louder than words. Setting goals without taking action is as good as writing in water (which leaves no trace of what you wrote). Go ahead. Take action today. Take action now. Do not wait. Take action, no matter how small the action it. Take action now and you will feel the momentum created, pushing you to take more action until you achieve your goals.
---------------------------
Copyright © Bernard Ong, 2006.
All Rights Reserved
Bernard Ong is an IT professional interested in helping others by sharing his experience on time management and effectiveness topics. Bernard writes about his interest at http://www.bernard-ong.com. Copyright Bernard Ong, 2006. All rights reserved.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Stop Putting Up With Stuff
Someone interrupts you while you are speaking. Your child raises his voice at you. A person speaks to you in a way you find offensive. Other people take credit for your ideas. You keep working longer and longer hours at work. Your family is constantly late coming to the dinner table. If you've experienced any of these scenarios, then it is time to stop putting up with stuff. It's time to strengthen your boundaries.
Boundaries are imaginary lines that surround and protect you and your goals from others. Anything that annoys you or makes you upset is often a crossed boundary. When your boundaries are weak, it may feel as if people are taking advantage of you or not respecting you. These feelings can often be damaging to one's self-esteem. They can also cause unneeded anxiety, stress and resentment. When you take the time to define and strengthen your boundaries, at home and at work, you will find yourself in a generally happier and calmer state.
Determining how others may interact with you, sticking to clear work hours and deciding your limits are all boundaries that will keep negative influences out of your way. Keep in mind boundaries are invisible. To effectively enforce your boundaries they must be communicated to those around you
Communicate Boundaries Gracefully
This seven-step process, keyed to the acronym RESPECT works every time. When you are communicating yoru boundaries, ensure you start the conversation with your voice devoid of any emotion. The tone of voice you use should be similar to how you sound when making a comment on the weather -- calm and confident.
R – Recognize your boundaries are being crossed. Stop others as they start to cross the line. "Excuse me."
E – Educate others that they are violating your boundary. "Do you realize you are yelling at me."
S – Stop. Request that others stop. "I’d like you to stop yelling at me."
P – Promote. Tell others how your limits can be respected. "Please speak to me calmly.”
E - Embrace others for cooperating. "Thank you for respecting my wishes."
If they are not cooperative, add these last steps. This very rarely happens. In most cases, people change their behavior after step two.
C – Command that they stop “I insist that you stop raiding yoru voice to me.” If nothing changes, then call it quits.
T – Take off. Leave the situation. “I can’t have this conversation while you are yelling at me. I am going to leave the room. Let’s talk about this when we are not as upset.”
In some cases, people won't respect your boundaries even after you ask them to. But remember you are no longer putting up with anything from anyone so you might have to walk away from some individuals and situations. The only way to truly start taking better care of yourself is to let go of things that don't work for you.
© Copyright 2006. Lisa Martin. All rights reserved.
Boundaries are imaginary lines that surround and protect you and your goals from others. Anything that annoys you or makes you upset is often a crossed boundary. When your boundaries are weak, it may feel as if people are taking advantage of you or not respecting you. These feelings can often be damaging to one's self-esteem. They can also cause unneeded anxiety, stress and resentment. When you take the time to define and strengthen your boundaries, at home and at work, you will find yourself in a generally happier and calmer state.
Determining how others may interact with you, sticking to clear work hours and deciding your limits are all boundaries that will keep negative influences out of your way. Keep in mind boundaries are invisible. To effectively enforce your boundaries they must be communicated to those around you
Communicate Boundaries Gracefully
This seven-step process, keyed to the acronym RESPECT works every time. When you are communicating yoru boundaries, ensure you start the conversation with your voice devoid of any emotion. The tone of voice you use should be similar to how you sound when making a comment on the weather -- calm and confident.
R – Recognize your boundaries are being crossed. Stop others as they start to cross the line. "Excuse me."
E – Educate others that they are violating your boundary. "Do you realize you are yelling at me."
S – Stop. Request that others stop. "I’d like you to stop yelling at me."
P – Promote. Tell others how your limits can be respected. "Please speak to me calmly.”
E - Embrace others for cooperating. "Thank you for respecting my wishes."
If they are not cooperative, add these last steps. This very rarely happens. In most cases, people change their behavior after step two.
C – Command that they stop “I insist that you stop raiding yoru voice to me.” If nothing changes, then call it quits.
T – Take off. Leave the situation. “I can’t have this conversation while you are yelling at me. I am going to leave the room. Let’s talk about this when we are not as upset.”
In some cases, people won't respect your boundaries even after you ask them to. But remember you are no longer putting up with anything from anyone so you might have to walk away from some individuals and situations. The only way to truly start taking better care of yourself is to let go of things that don't work for you.
© Copyright 2006. Lisa Martin. All rights reserved.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Breaking Free From Self-Limiting Habits
'We need to think differently to shift our paradigms
to a new, deeper, "inside-out" level'; Stephen R. Covey
In the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey describes habits as "consistent, often unconscious patterns which constantly, daily express our character and produce our effectiveness, or ineffectiveness".
Who we are and what we become is a direct result of our habits. It is in the realm of habits that our character is born, nurtured and outwardly expressed. What we see from the outside is a direct reflection of those deeply embedded habits that have gradually, steadily and consistently ingrained themselves into our psyche. Our behavior is therefore informed by these habits, which with time become so deeply ingrained into our minds that changing them is like attempting to break mountains with bare hands.
Breaking free from these deeply-embedded habits is a tall order, especially if they have been acquired over a long period of time. The longer it takes to acquire certain habits, the more difficult it is to break them. And this is not necessarily a bad thing; especially if the habits acquired are positive. Positive habits should be encouraged, even developed where they are lacking.
According Mike Bressica, success comes from behaviors, which start out as thoughts. To change your habits or behaviors, you will need to have different thoughts. What occupies your mind; your thoughts; propels you to behave in a certain way. If you don't like the results of your behavior, all you need to do is to change your thoughts. The Bible talks of renewing our mind as a way of transforming ourselves into good, acceptable and perfect people that always seek to do the will of God (Rom 12.2).
Renewing or shifting from our current thoughts to those that we desire brings about transformation or change in our lives. This is what is known as having a paradigm shift; adopting a new way of thinking, of doing things, of behavior.
The good thing about habits is that they are acquired over time through learning, nuances, brainwashing and experiences. Since they are acquired, they can be replaced by changing the thought patterns that fostered them in the first place.
To replace negative, self-limiting thought patterns, which Mike Bressica calls "mental patterns of failure", we must set as a first goal to reduce the impact of these patterns. And this cannot be done overnight. Just as it took time to acquire these mental patterns of failure, it will take time to release them and replace them with 'mental patterns of success'.
Paul talking to the Church in Rome expressed his frustration with his inability to rein in his patterns of failure. It appeared to him that he was fighting a losing battle with his mind as he found himself doing the very evil that he did not want to do; and not doing the good that he wanted to (Romans 7: 19).
Like so many of us, Paul was at a crossroad. On one side lay the old self-limiting patterns of failure; and on the other, his desire to release these negative patterns, which always led him to do evil, and replace them with those that would propel him into a transformed life of doing good.
Highly successful people are those who rid themselves of their patterns of failure by brushing off distractions. When you have no pattern of failure limiting your progress, you are able to overcome temporary setbacks at the thought level. Since the battle for success is won or lost at the thought level, your success or failure in this arena is what makes you successful or unsuccessful. Success comes naturally when you learn how to control your thought patterns. As Bressica says, if you muster the art of thought control, you will not be 'tempted to act opposite to what you know is best. You can keep fear at a minimum. Doubt is nowhere to be found.'
But how do you unlearn limiting thought patterns that you have picked up from childhood? How do you break down inscrutable blocks of negative habits that have been distilled and cemented into your psyche since childhood? To merely tell you to change your paradigm would be as vain as telling a hungry person to be filled without giving him food to eat. What we hear, see, experience or sense has a direct bearing on the formation of our habits; which are informed by thoughts, and which are then acted out in the form of behavior.
Thoughts are the foundation on which our habits are formed. These habits, depending on their nature, in turn inform our actions or behavior; and success or lack of it solely depends on the actions we take. To take that crucial first step in starting your own business, you must first of all unlearn the employee mentality and start seeing yourself as a successful entrepreneur.
But to achieve this paradigm shift is no mean fit. What with years of being told to study hard so that, when you grow up, you will get a good job? To break away from this mold of thinking and start seeing or thinking yourself as a successful business person requires much more than positive affirmations such as 'I can do it'. If 'I can do it' is out of tandem with your thought pattern, then, try as much as you will, you can’t do it.
I believe with all my heart that if you can think it, you can do it. The writer of the Book of Proverbs (23:7) knew this all too well when he said that 'as one thinks in his heart, so is he'. Your thoughts define the kind of person you become. Countless times we blame external circumstances while in reality the core cause of our failure can be found in our thought patterns.
Innocent Mwangi is a motivational writer and speaker. He specializes in helping people attain their highest potential. Visit his websites at http://www.realopportunity.org; http://www.ssmk.net; http://www.work-at-home-opportunity.net; http://www.globalalert.org.
to a new, deeper, "inside-out" level'; Stephen R. Covey
In the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey describes habits as "consistent, often unconscious patterns which constantly, daily express our character and produce our effectiveness, or ineffectiveness".
Who we are and what we become is a direct result of our habits. It is in the realm of habits that our character is born, nurtured and outwardly expressed. What we see from the outside is a direct reflection of those deeply embedded habits that have gradually, steadily and consistently ingrained themselves into our psyche. Our behavior is therefore informed by these habits, which with time become so deeply ingrained into our minds that changing them is like attempting to break mountains with bare hands.
Breaking free from these deeply-embedded habits is a tall order, especially if they have been acquired over a long period of time. The longer it takes to acquire certain habits, the more difficult it is to break them. And this is not necessarily a bad thing; especially if the habits acquired are positive. Positive habits should be encouraged, even developed where they are lacking.
According Mike Bressica, success comes from behaviors, which start out as thoughts. To change your habits or behaviors, you will need to have different thoughts. What occupies your mind; your thoughts; propels you to behave in a certain way. If you don't like the results of your behavior, all you need to do is to change your thoughts. The Bible talks of renewing our mind as a way of transforming ourselves into good, acceptable and perfect people that always seek to do the will of God (Rom 12.2).
Renewing or shifting from our current thoughts to those that we desire brings about transformation or change in our lives. This is what is known as having a paradigm shift; adopting a new way of thinking, of doing things, of behavior.
The good thing about habits is that they are acquired over time through learning, nuances, brainwashing and experiences. Since they are acquired, they can be replaced by changing the thought patterns that fostered them in the first place.
To replace negative, self-limiting thought patterns, which Mike Bressica calls "mental patterns of failure", we must set as a first goal to reduce the impact of these patterns. And this cannot be done overnight. Just as it took time to acquire these mental patterns of failure, it will take time to release them and replace them with 'mental patterns of success'.
Paul talking to the Church in Rome expressed his frustration with his inability to rein in his patterns of failure. It appeared to him that he was fighting a losing battle with his mind as he found himself doing the very evil that he did not want to do; and not doing the good that he wanted to (Romans 7: 19).
Like so many of us, Paul was at a crossroad. On one side lay the old self-limiting patterns of failure; and on the other, his desire to release these negative patterns, which always led him to do evil, and replace them with those that would propel him into a transformed life of doing good.
Highly successful people are those who rid themselves of their patterns of failure by brushing off distractions. When you have no pattern of failure limiting your progress, you are able to overcome temporary setbacks at the thought level. Since the battle for success is won or lost at the thought level, your success or failure in this arena is what makes you successful or unsuccessful. Success comes naturally when you learn how to control your thought patterns. As Bressica says, if you muster the art of thought control, you will not be 'tempted to act opposite to what you know is best. You can keep fear at a minimum. Doubt is nowhere to be found.'
But how do you unlearn limiting thought patterns that you have picked up from childhood? How do you break down inscrutable blocks of negative habits that have been distilled and cemented into your psyche since childhood? To merely tell you to change your paradigm would be as vain as telling a hungry person to be filled without giving him food to eat. What we hear, see, experience or sense has a direct bearing on the formation of our habits; which are informed by thoughts, and which are then acted out in the form of behavior.
Thoughts are the foundation on which our habits are formed. These habits, depending on their nature, in turn inform our actions or behavior; and success or lack of it solely depends on the actions we take. To take that crucial first step in starting your own business, you must first of all unlearn the employee mentality and start seeing yourself as a successful entrepreneur.
But to achieve this paradigm shift is no mean fit. What with years of being told to study hard so that, when you grow up, you will get a good job? To break away from this mold of thinking and start seeing or thinking yourself as a successful business person requires much more than positive affirmations such as 'I can do it'. If 'I can do it' is out of tandem with your thought pattern, then, try as much as you will, you can’t do it.
I believe with all my heart that if you can think it, you can do it. The writer of the Book of Proverbs (23:7) knew this all too well when he said that 'as one thinks in his heart, so is he'. Your thoughts define the kind of person you become. Countless times we blame external circumstances while in reality the core cause of our failure can be found in our thought patterns.
Innocent Mwangi is a motivational writer and speaker. He specializes in helping people attain their highest potential. Visit his websites at http://www.realopportunity.org; http://www.ssmk.net; http://www.work-at-home-opportunity.net; http://www.globalalert.org.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Your Career in 2008 – Get a Fresh Start
As the New Year approaches, have you thought about your career goals? What worked to years ago in planning and managing your career will not work for your career development in the 21st Century. Managing your career in the 21st Century requires preparation, career goal planning and career guidance and ensuring that your time is directed meaningfully.
Here is how to find enjoyment and continue to progress in your career.
1. Determine if your present job is in line with who you are, what you value, and what you are good at. Are you really doing what you want to do? Being self-aware means you become clear about what you stand for and what you have to offer. When you know what you have to offer, you become more powerful and intentional in your work. Doing a good job is no longer good enough to guarantee your career will go well. You are your most important asset. Self-branding provides direction and clarity of purpose for how you work, not just what you do for a living.
2. Identify your job satisfiers and dissatisfiers. Find a way to do more of the tasks/projects that you enjoy.
3. Identify your accomplishments.
4. Take the time to build and maintain relationship with individuals who might impact your work. You will benefit personally and professionally from the time you invest in such relationships.
5. Determine and write down your vision for your professional life. What actions do you need to take that will get you there? Celebrate the steps you take daily to achieve your vision. You can create the life you want! Here are some ways you can do that:
* Keep work in perspective - remember how you left work on time in the summer?
* Manage your stress - identify what causes you stress and how it affects you.
* Take time out - close your door (if you have one), call forward your phone, turn off your e-mail, take a walk. Use this time "during your work day" to prepare for a big meeting, a presentation or work on a project.
* Delegate - are you spending too much time on the administrative process of your job and not utilizing your skills to benefit your long-term goals and your company's goals?
* Work/Play Balance - what did you enjoy doing during the summer that you want to continue (going to the movies, playing tennis, volunteering, spending time with your kids, seeing friends, etc.)? Put it on your schedule.
6. Be Bold! Don’t be afraid to take on some responsibilities in positions above you. Aim to always exceed expectations.
7. Manage your own time. Set boundaries. Learn to say "no" to non-essential use of your time.
8. Look for way to do things better, and more efficiently. Change a routine task - develop a new process. Instead of handling your e-mails as you get them, set aside specific times during the day to respond.
9. Be great at what you do. The knowledge and skill that create success in your current job will position you for your next move.
10.Be aware of roadblocks that can limit your potential to move upward.
11.Take on projects that will most likely benefit you.
12.Have passion for what you are doing and working toward. You will automatically put more effort into it. If you are not feeling passionate about your work ask yourself: is what you “should’ be doing interfering with what you want to be doing?
Remember! Your career must contribute to your life, not the other way around!
Copyright 2006, Cecile Peterkin. All rights reserved.
Cecile Peterkin is a Certified Career, Life Coach and Speaker. She is also author of The Career Athlete - The Elite guide for career success. Feeling stuck in middle management or in mid career? Kick your career into high gear! Sign up for the Career Guidance Bootcamp or the FR-EE Introduction teleclass now at http://www.CosmicCoachingCentre.com/introteleclass.html.
Here is how to find enjoyment and continue to progress in your career.
1. Determine if your present job is in line with who you are, what you value, and what you are good at. Are you really doing what you want to do? Being self-aware means you become clear about what you stand for and what you have to offer. When you know what you have to offer, you become more powerful and intentional in your work. Doing a good job is no longer good enough to guarantee your career will go well. You are your most important asset. Self-branding provides direction and clarity of purpose for how you work, not just what you do for a living.
2. Identify your job satisfiers and dissatisfiers. Find a way to do more of the tasks/projects that you enjoy.
3. Identify your accomplishments.
4. Take the time to build and maintain relationship with individuals who might impact your work. You will benefit personally and professionally from the time you invest in such relationships.
5. Determine and write down your vision for your professional life. What actions do you need to take that will get you there? Celebrate the steps you take daily to achieve your vision. You can create the life you want! Here are some ways you can do that:
* Keep work in perspective - remember how you left work on time in the summer?
* Manage your stress - identify what causes you stress and how it affects you.
* Take time out - close your door (if you have one), call forward your phone, turn off your e-mail, take a walk. Use this time "during your work day" to prepare for a big meeting, a presentation or work on a project.
* Delegate - are you spending too much time on the administrative process of your job and not utilizing your skills to benefit your long-term goals and your company's goals?
* Work/Play Balance - what did you enjoy doing during the summer that you want to continue (going to the movies, playing tennis, volunteering, spending time with your kids, seeing friends, etc.)? Put it on your schedule.
6. Be Bold! Don’t be afraid to take on some responsibilities in positions above you. Aim to always exceed expectations.
7. Manage your own time. Set boundaries. Learn to say "no" to non-essential use of your time.
8. Look for way to do things better, and more efficiently. Change a routine task - develop a new process. Instead of handling your e-mails as you get them, set aside specific times during the day to respond.
9. Be great at what you do. The knowledge and skill that create success in your current job will position you for your next move.
10.Be aware of roadblocks that can limit your potential to move upward.
11.Take on projects that will most likely benefit you.
12.Have passion for what you are doing and working toward. You will automatically put more effort into it. If you are not feeling passionate about your work ask yourself: is what you “should’ be doing interfering with what you want to be doing?
Remember! Your career must contribute to your life, not the other way around!
Copyright 2006, Cecile Peterkin. All rights reserved.
Cecile Peterkin is a Certified Career, Life Coach and Speaker. She is also author of The Career Athlete - The Elite guide for career success. Feeling stuck in middle management or in mid career? Kick your career into high gear! Sign up for the Career Guidance Bootcamp or the FR-EE Introduction teleclass now at http://www.CosmicCoachingCentre.com/introteleclass.html.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Weight Loss and Staying Motivated
Trying to lose weight has probably got to be the single most difficult thing in my life that I have tried to accomplish. Ask anyone else that has lost weight or tried to lose weight and I am sure that they will tell you the same thing. If it was easy, a larger percentage of people would be successful at it.
I think motivation is a major determining factor in how successful you are going to be at achieving your weight loss goals. If motivation is something that could be bought, we would all be rich and thin, but unfortunately it is something you have to work at. What works best for me is identifying certain things that make me feel like sticking to my plan and reaching my goals. Once I have identified these motivating factors; I surround myself with them and practice them.
The single thing that motivates me the most is success stories. When I say success stories, I mean people who have used a plan that is sensible. I tend to try to stay away from the to good to be true testimonials. You know the ones, I took this pill and lost 100 pounds in six months and you too can do the same or advertisements where they are talking about somebody’s weight loss and below it in tiny print are the words results not typical. If the results are not typical, what it means to me is it will not work that way for 95 percent of the people that try it.
The stories that motivate me are the ones where they lost 1 to 2 pounds a week and they did it with a tolerable, sensible diet and tolerable, regular exercise. When I say tolerable, I mean something you can live with, because if it is hard to live with you are not likely to stick with the plan for very long. People that have lost a lot of weight following a diet plan, that meets this criterion, are a lot more likely to keep the weight off.
I also tend to stay motivated if I do a lot of reading or research on subject matter that pertains to the task at hand. So, I spend a lot of time at the library and Barnes and Noble getting the latest information about things that are happening in the weight loss industry and learning about how the successful people reached their weight loss goal.
The other thing I have learned to do is avoid things that are going to cause me to feel overwhelmed. Nothing zaps my motivation quicker than feeling like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. If I can do things in an organized fashion 80 percent of the time, I will be able to stay on track and take the necessary steps to stay motivated to reach my weight loss goals.
The sooner you can identify the things in your life that make you feel good about your self, the better things are going to be for you. Surround yourself with positive things and you will find it easier to stay motivated not only in your weight loss journey, but also in other areas of your life.
Marjorie Salada is the owner of http://www.weightloss3000.com, a website that contains information on weight loss, exercise, weight loss surgery and living a healthy lifestyle.
I think motivation is a major determining factor in how successful you are going to be at achieving your weight loss goals. If motivation is something that could be bought, we would all be rich and thin, but unfortunately it is something you have to work at. What works best for me is identifying certain things that make me feel like sticking to my plan and reaching my goals. Once I have identified these motivating factors; I surround myself with them and practice them.
The single thing that motivates me the most is success stories. When I say success stories, I mean people who have used a plan that is sensible. I tend to try to stay away from the to good to be true testimonials. You know the ones, I took this pill and lost 100 pounds in six months and you too can do the same or advertisements where they are talking about somebody’s weight loss and below it in tiny print are the words results not typical. If the results are not typical, what it means to me is it will not work that way for 95 percent of the people that try it.
The stories that motivate me are the ones where they lost 1 to 2 pounds a week and they did it with a tolerable, sensible diet and tolerable, regular exercise. When I say tolerable, I mean something you can live with, because if it is hard to live with you are not likely to stick with the plan for very long. People that have lost a lot of weight following a diet plan, that meets this criterion, are a lot more likely to keep the weight off.
I also tend to stay motivated if I do a lot of reading or research on subject matter that pertains to the task at hand. So, I spend a lot of time at the library and Barnes and Noble getting the latest information about things that are happening in the weight loss industry and learning about how the successful people reached their weight loss goal.
The other thing I have learned to do is avoid things that are going to cause me to feel overwhelmed. Nothing zaps my motivation quicker than feeling like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. If I can do things in an organized fashion 80 percent of the time, I will be able to stay on track and take the necessary steps to stay motivated to reach my weight loss goals.
The sooner you can identify the things in your life that make you feel good about your self, the better things are going to be for you. Surround yourself with positive things and you will find it easier to stay motivated not only in your weight loss journey, but also in other areas of your life.
Marjorie Salada is the owner of http://www.weightloss3000.com, a website that contains information on weight loss, exercise, weight loss surgery and living a healthy lifestyle.
Numerology's Nurture number; what you can grow and prosper
Want to know how you start things, which of your projects will grow and prosper? Numerology can tell you what kinds of task you nurture well, what projects you are good at tending. We just need to find out your Nurture number.
===> Calculating your Nurture Number
Your Nurture number comes from a specific branch of Numerology called Yantra or Magic Square numerology. It consist of constructing a Magic square using your birth date numbers, and then interpreting the values in the specific boxes in the square.
Your Nurture number is found by taking your birth month, and then subtracting (3), note that negative values are possible.
For example, actor Johnny Depp was born on June 9th, 1963; so his Nurture number would be calculated as follows:
Nurture number = (Birth month - 3) = (6 - 3) = (3)
The Nurture number values and their meanings are listed below.
===> Nurture Number (-2)
You use your strong intuition to hinder and sidetrack others in their plans. You are selfish when it comes to helping others succeed. For you, it's every man for himself.
===> Nurture Number (-1)
You hate starting things and watching them grow. You would rather buy an existing business and try to improve it than start from scratch. You are good at improving projects already started; but terrible at getting them underway.
===> Nurture Number (0)
You don't really care about starting things and watching them grow one way or the other. You don't mind starting projects, but you don't take any special joy from it.
===> Nurture Number (1)
You love starting things and watching them grow. You are more likely to start a business from scratch than to buy an existing one to develop. You are a better starter than a finisher of projects; but you really lavish your attention on projects in their early stages.
===> Nurture Number (2)
You use your strong intuition to help and support others in their plans. You are a caring sympathetic person who finds great joy in watching others succeed with your help.
===> Nurture Number (3)
You have a gift for inspiring other people with words. You are quite creative in starting your plans, and when pushed can develop your own plans and talents quite a bit.
===> Nurture Number (4)
You are willing to put in hard work for anything you really believe in. You have infinite patience for your plans, and are willing to wait years, if need be, to see your projects bear fruit.
===> Nurture Number (5)
You are a natural consultant; able to give good sound advice to people in all sorts of endeavors. Sadly, your own projects and ideas never seem to get developed. You need encouragement to start and nurture your own plans, and follow through on them.
===> Nurture Number (6)
You love supporting and nurturing friends and loved ones. You make a wonderful parent saving only a tendency to be over protective of your children. You like working on your creative hobbies and take great pleasure in charting your own progress.
===> Nurture Number (7)
You love a mental challenge. You're fascinated by seeing how different things work; learning their hidden secrets. When something interest you, you're able to work on it in stages; starting small, and then developing it into a major project.
===> Nurture Number (8)
You are a natural when it comes to nurturing a small business and growing it into a financial success. You love taking on tasks or endeavors that you judge will be money-makers, and nurturing them through the rough spots. You stick with them as long as that money-making potential remains.
===> Nurture Number (9)
You love nurturing and supporting any group of people with a noble cause or goal. Weather a club, support group, or a philanthropic organization, you're able to help raise the spirits and self-esteem of everyone around you.
Keith Abbott is the developer and owner of 'Numerology 4 You' where you can order your own Numerology reading including your personal Lucky Numbers. Visit him on the web today at http://www.numerology4you.com/
===> Calculating your Nurture Number
Your Nurture number comes from a specific branch of Numerology called Yantra or Magic Square numerology. It consist of constructing a Magic square using your birth date numbers, and then interpreting the values in the specific boxes in the square.
Your Nurture number is found by taking your birth month, and then subtracting (3), note that negative values are possible.
For example, actor Johnny Depp was born on June 9th, 1963; so his Nurture number would be calculated as follows:
Nurture number = (Birth month - 3) = (6 - 3) = (3)
The Nurture number values and their meanings are listed below.
===> Nurture Number (-2)
You use your strong intuition to hinder and sidetrack others in their plans. You are selfish when it comes to helping others succeed. For you, it's every man for himself.
===> Nurture Number (-1)
You hate starting things and watching them grow. You would rather buy an existing business and try to improve it than start from scratch. You are good at improving projects already started; but terrible at getting them underway.
===> Nurture Number (0)
You don't really care about starting things and watching them grow one way or the other. You don't mind starting projects, but you don't take any special joy from it.
===> Nurture Number (1)
You love starting things and watching them grow. You are more likely to start a business from scratch than to buy an existing one to develop. You are a better starter than a finisher of projects; but you really lavish your attention on projects in their early stages.
===> Nurture Number (2)
You use your strong intuition to help and support others in their plans. You are a caring sympathetic person who finds great joy in watching others succeed with your help.
===> Nurture Number (3)
You have a gift for inspiring other people with words. You are quite creative in starting your plans, and when pushed can develop your own plans and talents quite a bit.
===> Nurture Number (4)
You are willing to put in hard work for anything you really believe in. You have infinite patience for your plans, and are willing to wait years, if need be, to see your projects bear fruit.
===> Nurture Number (5)
You are a natural consultant; able to give good sound advice to people in all sorts of endeavors. Sadly, your own projects and ideas never seem to get developed. You need encouragement to start and nurture your own plans, and follow through on them.
===> Nurture Number (6)
You love supporting and nurturing friends and loved ones. You make a wonderful parent saving only a tendency to be over protective of your children. You like working on your creative hobbies and take great pleasure in charting your own progress.
===> Nurture Number (7)
You love a mental challenge. You're fascinated by seeing how different things work; learning their hidden secrets. When something interest you, you're able to work on it in stages; starting small, and then developing it into a major project.
===> Nurture Number (8)
You are a natural when it comes to nurturing a small business and growing it into a financial success. You love taking on tasks or endeavors that you judge will be money-makers, and nurturing them through the rough spots. You stick with them as long as that money-making potential remains.
===> Nurture Number (9)
You love nurturing and supporting any group of people with a noble cause or goal. Weather a club, support group, or a philanthropic organization, you're able to help raise the spirits and self-esteem of everyone around you.
Keith Abbott is the developer and owner of 'Numerology 4 You' where you can order your own Numerology reading including your personal Lucky Numbers. Visit him on the web today at http://www.numerology4you.com/
Monday, April 7, 2008
Enhance Your Concentration With Self-Hypnosis
During recent weeks, the city of Sheffield here in England has been hosting the World Snooker Championships.
Have you ever seen a more hypnotic sport? I know that some people would argue that it just sends them to sleep, though it is extremely hypnotic and at times I have found it to be extremely relaxing and exciting and I am amazed at what those professional players can do with the balls.
Snooker players sum up a lot about what I think you need in life to be successful - they have to practice and practice and practice to get to those levels, they have to be focus on what they want to the exclusion of all else at times, they have to learn from their mistakes and learn from each other. I know you can get metaphors to the same effect from most sports, it is just that this week I was inspired by one particular young man.
The hero of this years tournament, for me, was the losing finalist - a 23 year old man by the name of Mark Selby. They call him 'The Jester from Leicester.' Not only was he wonderfully exciting to watch play snooker... He actually smiles during games!! He has fun, he makes jokes, he entertains, he has a look about him that is extremely endearing and I really warmed to him despite this year being the first time he had broken into the top flight in the Snooker World championships. Mark Selby seemed to really enjoy what he was doing and I find that so inspiring.
What really amazed me was this guy’s stamina too.
First of all, because he was not in the world top 16 rankings prior to this tournament, he did not get an automatic place in the tournament, so he had to qualify with several matches. In the first round, he came from 5-0 down, to win 10-7. In the second round he beat former world champion Peter Ebdon, having trailed 6-2, he won 13-8. In the quarter finals he won 13-12 in a last frame decider. Then in the semi final, he beat another former world champion Shaun Murphy in a gruelling match, having trailed for much of it, 17-16!! A last frame decider again. Each of these games were hours long and the individual frames were often going on for very long times. The final, which he lost to John Higgins 18-13 went on until the early hours of the morning!
Wow. To maintain that level of mental endurance and concentration for such intense, pressurised lengthy periods of time is just incredible.
I get asked very frequently about how we can increase our powers of focus and concentration and so this week I thought I would a simple self-hypnosis technique with you to help you do just that. This technique today can also be used for all manner of things including stress reduction,
Here is a simple technique to help you keep focused for longer periods of time.
Step One: Be in a place where you are not going to be disturbed for a while. Get yourself comfortable, with your arms and legs uncrossed. Then just focus on the moment, notice what thoughts you are thinking, notice the sensation of stillness and the rhythm of your body and just be an observer of your experience for a few moments. Just observe yourself existing in that moment, without interfering with it at all. Then take a slightly deeper breath and exhale slowly while closing your eyes.
Imagine that you can feel gravity pulling you to whatever it is you are resting on. Feel your body being supported. Tune in to the moment and feel how it feels to just relax and observe how and who you are at this moment.
Step Two: Now bring your awareness in and concentrate on your breathing. Notice the parts of your body that move as you breathe in and out. Notice the wonder of your breath, be aware of the temperature of it - maybe it feels cooler when you breathe in and warmer as your breathe out.
Imagine that each breath is going deeper. That does not have to be a bigger or a larger breath, just a breath that relaxes you while you are keeping your awareness on it. Be sure at this stage to just let your breath happen without you interfering with it. Keep doing this for a little while as you notice your body relaxing around you and your mind slowing down, yet keeping your awareness on your breath - if your mind wanders, then just keep bringing it back.
Step Three: As you feel more relaxed, noticing the rhythm of your breathing, maybe it slows down slightly. Allow your breath now to move to other parts of your body. Imagine breathing in to muscles and parts of your body and releasing them, relaxing them and imagine the muscles softening and the nerves in those muscles just becoming still and quiet. Not having to do anymore than is absolutely necessary.
Step Four: When you are sure that you have sufficiently relaxed your body and are still focusing on your breathing, now move your awareness to your mind. This is where the key to this technique exists.
Using your imagination, imagine that in front of you is a clear glass jar. The jar is clear, it is clean, even shiny and it is well and truly empty. Really imagine details of the jar, the textures, the way light reflects off it, the top and bottom of it, what kind of lid it has - really get a good idea in your mind of how this jar is.
As you have been doing, observe yourself now. While you continue to observe yourself, imagine that unscrew the lid of the jar and remove it for now.
Look closely at this empty jar, become aware that it is waiting to be filled. Imagine it inviting you to put something inside. So this is your chance to let go of any burdens, any distractions, any unwanted thoughts and aspects of routines from your day. Whether they were generated by your activities, your work, any tasks you are wanting to perform, any errands, your travels, your apprehensions, any anxieties, your cares, any discomfort you may be experiencing or any other thing.
Observe carefully now as one by one you place them into the jar. Imagine that your mind pours it all from inside of you and places it into that jar. Continue now to fill the jar with any remaining distractions, burdens or unwanted thoughts or feelings.
You can have fun here and be creative. Maybe you can imagine a string of things pouring out from you, or a cloud with all these things inside, all travelling into the jar. Empty it all out in to the jar.
Step Five: Carefully and deliberately now, replace the lid on the jar. Give the lid one extra turn.
Breathe deeply now and observe that you stand and begin to carry the jar toward a door. Open the door. Outside, on the front step is a large shiny aluminum trash can. Open its lid now and place your jar inside,... Know that you may dispose of it now and forever.., or return for it at another time, if you wish.... Put the lid back on the trash can... turn from it... walk back through the door. Lock the door and return to your chair.
Affirm with yourself something along the lines of "I have true clarity of thought and supreme concentration and nothing can interfere with it until I have achieved ___________" Or something along those lines, using language that appeals to you and resonates with you of course.
Imagine that you have a focused vision, a level of concentration and focus now that is going to serve you really well with whatever you want to begin focusing on now. Feel it, experience it, imagine brimming over with this track of your mind and imagine generating a state of being within yourself... feel prepared to really be this way.
Step 6: Bring your awareness once again to your breathing and notice its rhythm, pace and depth. Tune in to the moment that you are in once again.
Become aware of your toes and fingers, give them a wiggle or two and then open your eyes.
Hold your body in the way you would when you are focused. Hold your thoughts in a way that says "I am focused" and go about your day or the upcoming task or whatever it may be in a truly focused fashion. Spend some time getting yourself really focused and engaged in something that you wish to achieve and notice how much more you excel!
Have you ever seen a more hypnotic sport? I know that some people would argue that it just sends them to sleep, though it is extremely hypnotic and at times I have found it to be extremely relaxing and exciting and I am amazed at what those professional players can do with the balls.
Snooker players sum up a lot about what I think you need in life to be successful - they have to practice and practice and practice to get to those levels, they have to be focus on what they want to the exclusion of all else at times, they have to learn from their mistakes and learn from each other. I know you can get metaphors to the same effect from most sports, it is just that this week I was inspired by one particular young man.
The hero of this years tournament, for me, was the losing finalist - a 23 year old man by the name of Mark Selby. They call him 'The Jester from Leicester.' Not only was he wonderfully exciting to watch play snooker... He actually smiles during games!! He has fun, he makes jokes, he entertains, he has a look about him that is extremely endearing and I really warmed to him despite this year being the first time he had broken into the top flight in the Snooker World championships. Mark Selby seemed to really enjoy what he was doing and I find that so inspiring.
What really amazed me was this guy’s stamina too.
First of all, because he was not in the world top 16 rankings prior to this tournament, he did not get an automatic place in the tournament, so he had to qualify with several matches. In the first round, he came from 5-0 down, to win 10-7. In the second round he beat former world champion Peter Ebdon, having trailed 6-2, he won 13-8. In the quarter finals he won 13-12 in a last frame decider. Then in the semi final, he beat another former world champion Shaun Murphy in a gruelling match, having trailed for much of it, 17-16!! A last frame decider again. Each of these games were hours long and the individual frames were often going on for very long times. The final, which he lost to John Higgins 18-13 went on until the early hours of the morning!
Wow. To maintain that level of mental endurance and concentration for such intense, pressurised lengthy periods of time is just incredible.
I get asked very frequently about how we can increase our powers of focus and concentration and so this week I thought I would a simple self-hypnosis technique with you to help you do just that. This technique today can also be used for all manner of things including stress reduction,
Here is a simple technique to help you keep focused for longer periods of time.
Step One: Be in a place where you are not going to be disturbed for a while. Get yourself comfortable, with your arms and legs uncrossed. Then just focus on the moment, notice what thoughts you are thinking, notice the sensation of stillness and the rhythm of your body and just be an observer of your experience for a few moments. Just observe yourself existing in that moment, without interfering with it at all. Then take a slightly deeper breath and exhale slowly while closing your eyes.
Imagine that you can feel gravity pulling you to whatever it is you are resting on. Feel your body being supported. Tune in to the moment and feel how it feels to just relax and observe how and who you are at this moment.
Step Two: Now bring your awareness in and concentrate on your breathing. Notice the parts of your body that move as you breathe in and out. Notice the wonder of your breath, be aware of the temperature of it - maybe it feels cooler when you breathe in and warmer as your breathe out.
Imagine that each breath is going deeper. That does not have to be a bigger or a larger breath, just a breath that relaxes you while you are keeping your awareness on it. Be sure at this stage to just let your breath happen without you interfering with it. Keep doing this for a little while as you notice your body relaxing around you and your mind slowing down, yet keeping your awareness on your breath - if your mind wanders, then just keep bringing it back.
Step Three: As you feel more relaxed, noticing the rhythm of your breathing, maybe it slows down slightly. Allow your breath now to move to other parts of your body. Imagine breathing in to muscles and parts of your body and releasing them, relaxing them and imagine the muscles softening and the nerves in those muscles just becoming still and quiet. Not having to do anymore than is absolutely necessary.
Step Four: When you are sure that you have sufficiently relaxed your body and are still focusing on your breathing, now move your awareness to your mind. This is where the key to this technique exists.
Using your imagination, imagine that in front of you is a clear glass jar. The jar is clear, it is clean, even shiny and it is well and truly empty. Really imagine details of the jar, the textures, the way light reflects off it, the top and bottom of it, what kind of lid it has - really get a good idea in your mind of how this jar is.
As you have been doing, observe yourself now. While you continue to observe yourself, imagine that unscrew the lid of the jar and remove it for now.
Look closely at this empty jar, become aware that it is waiting to be filled. Imagine it inviting you to put something inside. So this is your chance to let go of any burdens, any distractions, any unwanted thoughts and aspects of routines from your day. Whether they were generated by your activities, your work, any tasks you are wanting to perform, any errands, your travels, your apprehensions, any anxieties, your cares, any discomfort you may be experiencing or any other thing.
Observe carefully now as one by one you place them into the jar. Imagine that your mind pours it all from inside of you and places it into that jar. Continue now to fill the jar with any remaining distractions, burdens or unwanted thoughts or feelings.
You can have fun here and be creative. Maybe you can imagine a string of things pouring out from you, or a cloud with all these things inside, all travelling into the jar. Empty it all out in to the jar.
Step Five: Carefully and deliberately now, replace the lid on the jar. Give the lid one extra turn.
Breathe deeply now and observe that you stand and begin to carry the jar toward a door. Open the door. Outside, on the front step is a large shiny aluminum trash can. Open its lid now and place your jar inside,... Know that you may dispose of it now and forever.., or return for it at another time, if you wish.... Put the lid back on the trash can... turn from it... walk back through the door. Lock the door and return to your chair.
Affirm with yourself something along the lines of "I have true clarity of thought and supreme concentration and nothing can interfere with it until I have achieved ___________" Or something along those lines, using language that appeals to you and resonates with you of course.
Imagine that you have a focused vision, a level of concentration and focus now that is going to serve you really well with whatever you want to begin focusing on now. Feel it, experience it, imagine brimming over with this track of your mind and imagine generating a state of being within yourself... feel prepared to really be this way.
Step 6: Bring your awareness once again to your breathing and notice its rhythm, pace and depth. Tune in to the moment that you are in once again.
Become aware of your toes and fingers, give them a wiggle or two and then open your eyes.
Hold your body in the way you would when you are focused. Hold your thoughts in a way that says "I am focused" and go about your day or the upcoming task or whatever it may be in a truly focused fashion. Spend some time getting yourself really focused and engaged in something that you wish to achieve and notice how much more you excel!
Monday, March 31, 2008
Improve Reading Comprehension With a Four Step Process
Would you like to improve your reading comprehension? Do you find yourself reading and re-reading a sentence or paragraph and still not remembering what you just read? Do you find that you can read and entire article and take nothing away from it? Do you find yourself day dreaming when needing to read technical information or study? Then this is for you.
You can improve both memory and comprehension with some simple changes in how you read and following four steps. There is one catch. You will have to take the time to learn how to and practice this method. This is not speed reading. This is training your mind to work the way it is designed.
Working the learning curve to improve reading comprehension can be a road block or a speed bump depending on how you look at it. So before you look at how to improve reading skills, consider why you should undertake the challenge.
To put the challenge into perspective consider a motivational story based on a 2000 year old proverb. It was about two men wanting to see who the best lumber jack in the world was. So they held a contest to determine just that.
The contest rules were simple. They were to start cutting at first glimpse of sunrise and stop at the last shimmer of sun set. No help, just man against man.
At the end of the day one man was a clear winner. The loser just couldn’t understand why he lost. He noted how the winner stopped to take breaks and refresh himself whereas he worked nonstop. The winner was truly was the best.
Wanting to learn the secret of the winner and how to improve, he started asking questions of his competitor. How did he do it?
“It was really quite simple,” the winner explained, “I did stop for breaks. The secret of my success that made the biggest difference was that while I was resting, I also sharpened my saw.”
The lesson is simple. We can sharpen our saws and improve our results or we can just work harder and have diminishing results. To sharpen our saws will require letting go of the work we want to accomplish with the end result of being more efficient at producing that work.
So how do can you increase the efficiency of your reading comprehension? You need to learn and then practice the four step process.
To start the process, get a piece of paper, an index card works best. It should be blank. Also get a place free of distraction or any other sensory input. No music, no talking, no noise. Get a chair that is slightly uncomfortable.
Next get something that would be fun to read however it should be informational writing.
1 First read the title. Then read the subheadings. Quickly think what you know about the subject. Only spend a couple of minutes. New memories are more easily recalled if they are connected to other older memories. This process in effect is like opening the filing cabinets of your mind.
Now you’re ready to read the paragraph and start filing the information. However before you start you need to understand the process. You will be reading as fast as you can. Not speed reading. You will just read at a fast pace taking in the thoughts as they appear in the text. You will only read once.
You will only read one paragraph at a time and you will cover the paragraph you just read with the index card on completion. You will not have a chance to go back. Resist any temptation to do so.
2 Once you read the paragraph, mentally review what you read and summarize it in one sentence. As a clue to help you with this, you can generally use the subject sentence as the one sentence. As you advance you will come up with more complex sentences including numbers and even statistics.
As you do this, you are starting the clock of your short term memory. It should last for about 20-30 seconds. That is long enough for you to go on to the next paragraph and do the same.
You are also forcing your mind to focus on what is being read. At the same time it is remembering the sentence you just formed. It will not have time to be distracted for at least 30 seconds. This in effect closes the other filing cabinets that you might be tempted to process at the same time of the reading. Our mind can process much more than we take in reading. Unless we turn off the other processes it will be nearly impossible to improve reading comprehension.
On completing the first paragraph, covering it over and reciting the one sentence summation, move on to the second paragraph and repeat the process.
3 Now go back and repeat the first sentence and add to it the second sentence.
You’re ready to move on to the third sentence continuing the process.
Continue on with each additional paragraph, producing one sentence for each next paragraph and then progressively repeating all the sentences from the first to the last.
4 On completion of the article, summarize the entire article. Initially it will take you longer than usual to complete this process. Once you learn it however, you will find you can cut your reading time by 20 to 50 percent. More importantly, your improved reading comprehension will enable the recall of what you just read.
For an even greater imprint on your mind, tell at least two people what you read. Give them a verbal summation of the entire article and eventually a summation of the entire magazine or chapter.
© 2006 Jonathan Steele Working as an artist, a free lance public speaker, speaking coach and webmaster of a public speaking web site Jonathan Steele has taught thousands during his career. To learn more about the mind regarding both reading and listening go to http://www.speechmastery.com/mind.html
You can improve both memory and comprehension with some simple changes in how you read and following four steps. There is one catch. You will have to take the time to learn how to and practice this method. This is not speed reading. This is training your mind to work the way it is designed.
Working the learning curve to improve reading comprehension can be a road block or a speed bump depending on how you look at it. So before you look at how to improve reading skills, consider why you should undertake the challenge.
To put the challenge into perspective consider a motivational story based on a 2000 year old proverb. It was about two men wanting to see who the best lumber jack in the world was. So they held a contest to determine just that.
The contest rules were simple. They were to start cutting at first glimpse of sunrise and stop at the last shimmer of sun set. No help, just man against man.
At the end of the day one man was a clear winner. The loser just couldn’t understand why he lost. He noted how the winner stopped to take breaks and refresh himself whereas he worked nonstop. The winner was truly was the best.
Wanting to learn the secret of the winner and how to improve, he started asking questions of his competitor. How did he do it?
“It was really quite simple,” the winner explained, “I did stop for breaks. The secret of my success that made the biggest difference was that while I was resting, I also sharpened my saw.”
The lesson is simple. We can sharpen our saws and improve our results or we can just work harder and have diminishing results. To sharpen our saws will require letting go of the work we want to accomplish with the end result of being more efficient at producing that work.
So how do can you increase the efficiency of your reading comprehension? You need to learn and then practice the four step process.
To start the process, get a piece of paper, an index card works best. It should be blank. Also get a place free of distraction or any other sensory input. No music, no talking, no noise. Get a chair that is slightly uncomfortable.
Next get something that would be fun to read however it should be informational writing.
1 First read the title. Then read the subheadings. Quickly think what you know about the subject. Only spend a couple of minutes. New memories are more easily recalled if they are connected to other older memories. This process in effect is like opening the filing cabinets of your mind.
Now you’re ready to read the paragraph and start filing the information. However before you start you need to understand the process. You will be reading as fast as you can. Not speed reading. You will just read at a fast pace taking in the thoughts as they appear in the text. You will only read once.
You will only read one paragraph at a time and you will cover the paragraph you just read with the index card on completion. You will not have a chance to go back. Resist any temptation to do so.
2 Once you read the paragraph, mentally review what you read and summarize it in one sentence. As a clue to help you with this, you can generally use the subject sentence as the one sentence. As you advance you will come up with more complex sentences including numbers and even statistics.
As you do this, you are starting the clock of your short term memory. It should last for about 20-30 seconds. That is long enough for you to go on to the next paragraph and do the same.
You are also forcing your mind to focus on what is being read. At the same time it is remembering the sentence you just formed. It will not have time to be distracted for at least 30 seconds. This in effect closes the other filing cabinets that you might be tempted to process at the same time of the reading. Our mind can process much more than we take in reading. Unless we turn off the other processes it will be nearly impossible to improve reading comprehension.
On completing the first paragraph, covering it over and reciting the one sentence summation, move on to the second paragraph and repeat the process.
3 Now go back and repeat the first sentence and add to it the second sentence.
You’re ready to move on to the third sentence continuing the process.
Continue on with each additional paragraph, producing one sentence for each next paragraph and then progressively repeating all the sentences from the first to the last.
4 On completion of the article, summarize the entire article. Initially it will take you longer than usual to complete this process. Once you learn it however, you will find you can cut your reading time by 20 to 50 percent. More importantly, your improved reading comprehension will enable the recall of what you just read.
For an even greater imprint on your mind, tell at least two people what you read. Give them a verbal summation of the entire article and eventually a summation of the entire magazine or chapter.
© 2006 Jonathan Steele Working as an artist, a free lance public speaker, speaking coach and webmaster of a public speaking web site Jonathan Steele has taught thousands during his career. To learn more about the mind regarding both reading and listening go to http://www.speechmastery.com/mind.html
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