Stuff I’ll Try Not to Do as I Get Older

As I begin my transition into the second half-century of my life, there are some things that… huh? Whaddya mean, I shouldn’t lie about stuff like that? Yeah, I know I’m supposed to tell the truth in these articles but that doesn’t mean I can’t fudge just a little once in a while, does it? Not even just a little bit? Once in a while? Well crap! OK then…

Having passed the half century mark some time ago (there… are you happy now?) I find myself thinking more about the years that lie ahead – and more specifically, about who I will become as those years continue to pile on. Will I be just another old person? Will I wake up one morning and find myself doing all those funny old people things that I’ve been watching over the past fifty… OK, sixty-six… years. Maybe. But I’ve thought about it and here are some of the things I’m going to work really hard NOT to do.

1. Make weird sounds every time I stand up or sit down.

Now I realize that I may not have a bunch of control over the strange pops and snaps that my joints produce from time to time – but I should be able to have at least some authority over the sounds that are rolling from my throat. Know what I mean? Just listen sometime to the weird noises older folks make when they change positions. Ummmph! Uhgggg! Augggggffffff! Ennnngh! Unggggh! I’m going to try not to do that.

2. Become so bored that I sit on the front porch waiting for a leaf to fall so I can totter out to pick it up off the lawn.

No kidding, I knew an older guy who did exactly that. Every morning he would make sure his little lawn was absolutely leaf-free and throughout the day, he would diligently pick up every single leaf that fell from the trees. OK, living in Phoenix, Arizona on a small lot with a half dozen orange trees didn’t mean he had to really scramble to keep up with the tree droppings so it didn’t occupy a bunch of his time. It was his focus though. I’ll try not to do that.

3. Tell the same story to the same people over and over and over and…

Yeah, we all have a tendency to lose track of who we’ve told what. And it’s not just jokes. It’s the significant events or situations that we’ve experienced over the years too. The experiences and memories, that for whatever reason, we want to share. I’ve known more than a handful of older folks – and a couple of younger ones - who seemed to continually push their replay button. I’m going to try not to do that.

4. Tell the same story over and… (just kidding)…

4. Develop a rigid daily routine and eating habits.

I’m sure you’ve all seen examples of this and not only in our older generations either. It’s doing exactly the same thing at the same time day after day after day. Up at six, breakfast at seven, read the paper until eight, watch “Mayberry RFD” until eight-thirty, etc., etc., etc. It’s the same way with the meals. Every morning – one egg over easy with toast and orange juice, lunch is always a small bowl of chicken noodle soup and half a peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich… BORING!!! I’ll try not to do that. (Tacos and chocolate cake for breakfast any one?)

5. Forget that I’m older than dust.

Two things here. The first is not trying to accomplish the same things at the same pace I did when I was twenty years younger. Mowing the lawn, trimming trees, painting, shoveling snow, lifting heavy stuff… An older guy could pop something doing that. So far I’m having no problem at all grasping this concept.

Second – remembering that even though on certain occasions when my brain is busily thinking thoughts of a twenty-year-old, my body is displaying all the signs of a pop-up advertisement for arthritis and incontinence medications. Yeah, I’ll still look and enjoy the scenery wiggling by – but there ain’t gonna be many lookin’ back. I’ll try to remember that.

6. Lose my sense of humor.

I understand, considering the usual aches and pains that tend to sneak up on us in our later years, that sometimes it’s difficult to just slap on a smile and press on. And we’ve all seen our share of growly, grumpy, snarly old folks. It seems to me that as we lose the ability to be productive or even to take care of ourselves, a good sense of humor may be the only thing we have left that is worth a hoot. This is a funny world filled with strange creatures doing goofy things. I’m going to try to remember to watch and enjoy them. In fact, I’ll probably be one of ‘em. I think you can count on it…

Gene Simmons, through NuPathz.com, provides an easy reading self-help blog, articles, quotations, thoughts and links along with affordable personal growth and self improvement books & materials - all designed to help folks find the road to a more enjoyable lifestyle, to pass on some of life’s “secrets for survival” in a chaotic world & offer a few smiles along the way. It's a down-to-earth, simple approach to discovering a better life.

Menopause And Depression

Many women experience bouts of depression as they approach menopause. As a matter of fact, midlife can be considered a period of increased risk for depression in women, the majority taking place in the years during the transition through the menopausal years. This period of time is associated with gradual declines in estrogen levels, which may be linked with the onset of depression.

It can be confusing when trying to determine if you’re suffering from depression, simply going through menopause or experiencing both. This is because many symptoms of menopause and depression are very similar, such as interrupted sleep patterns, fatigue, hot flashes, mood swings, anxiety and difficulty concentrating. It’s important, however, to talk with your doctor if you think you may be suffering from depression; don’t play guessing games with your health because if left untreated, depression can lead to additional episodes, which have the potential to be more severe. Untreated depression can also result in physical complications, such as heart attack and the loss of bone density.

If your doctor thinks that your depression is as a result of declining hormone levels as you’re approaching or experiencing menopause, there’s a possibility he will suggest hormone replacement therapy, which includes estrogen. It’s important to discuss both the benefits and risks of hormone replacement therapy, including potential benefits to your overall mood. Recent studies have shown that the risks of hormone therapy include heart attack, stroke and breast cancer, and some professionals believe that these risks may outweigh the benefits women can receive from this course of treatment. That being said, estrogen therapy remains the most effective treatment for many menopausal symptoms.

Short term therapy (12-20 weeks) has also proven to combat depression in women experiencing menopause. Especially effective are Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which focuses on negative thoughts and behaviors that tend to worsen depressed mood and teaches better ways of thinking and behaving, and Interpersonal Therapy, which helps individuals to communicate more effectively with others to help eliminate stressors.

Fortunately, the benefits of exercise in depression are well documented. Exercise helps with the treatment of depression by releasing the body’s mood-elevating compounds, reducing the depression hormone cortisol, providing a feeling of accomplishment and enhancing self esteem. I personally exercise approximately an hour most days of the week, but even exercising as little as ten minutes per day has been found to have beneficial effects for many women experiencing menopausal depression.

You may also want to consider a prescription medication to help you cope with the symptoms you’re experiencing. Discuss this possibility with your doctor because there are several effective and well-tolerated antidepressant medications now available. These medications have been proven to be an essential part of treatment for women who are moderately to severely depressed.

It’s also important to simply take care of yourself by eating a well balanced diet, decreasing your intake of refined sugar, caffeine, alcohol and chocolate. Are you getting enough sleep? Sleep deficiencies can make depression worse, so if you must, develop relaxing bedtime rituals, such as taking a hot bath or reading a good book.

Finally, just give yourself a break. Not only are you experiencing symptoms of menopause, but midlife also brings about life events that can be stressful, adding to the risk of depression, irritability and moodiness. Perhaps your children are leaving home, you’re caring for an elderly parent or have recently experienced the loss of a loved one. All of these events will undoubtedly add stress to an already busy life. Take time for yourself, eat a healthy diet, exercise and know that you’re a strong and capable woman and you will get through this.

3 Online Online Dating Mistakes To Avoid

While you search the internet for that special lady…the one of your dreams…your soul-mate…the other half of yourself, you can do a lot of things right. Sadly, you can, also, do a lot of things wrong….things that will guarantee failure and a broken heart. Out in the “real” world, being aggressive, demanding perfection and even little white lies are all ingredients for success. However, those same qualities are killers when you are dating online and off line, too, for that matter.

There is a big difference between being aggressive or confident and being too aggressive, over-confident, or just plain sleazy or slimy from a woman’s point of view. If you push too hard for a face-to-face, you will come across as too aggressive…maybe even, scary. Try to remember that you are not trying to close a business deal and keep the relationship progressing at a slow but steady pace. Patience is the key.

Nobody is perfect. We are all flawed in some way or another…and that includes you, as well. If you expect the woman to be absolutely perfect and demand that, you will always be disappointed. Demanding perfectionism in your work is one thing. Demanding perfectionism from a friend, co-worker or a lady you are interested in is not just fine. It won’t happen. Expect flaws and just deal with them. Decide the ones you can live with and those you can’t.

Little white lies and false fronts won’t work. Be honest from the beginning of a relationship. Write your profile. Make it interesting but don’t make false statements. The truth will come out eventually anyway. If you say you are a lawyer who makes a million bucks a year and you are really an electrician that makes $75,000, you have set yourself up for failure.

Remember…don’t be too aggressive, expect to ever find perfection or put on a false front.

How To Become A Super Affiliate In Niche Markets

Over the past years, web hosting has grown bigger than it used to be. With more companies getting into this business and finding the many benefits it can give them, the demand for web hosting has never been higher. These seem to be the trend of today.

38 million people have put up their very first websites online this year 2005 alone. It is estimated that by 2008, the internet sales industry will top then dollar bank. And to think, majority of those sites will be offering different Affiliate programs for people to choose and participate into.

This only means one thing. It is easier now to find the right web host for your application. The possibility of quality web hosting companies separating themselves from the rest of the industry is anticipated. If this is done, the unprofessional and incompetent ones will suffer.

Support will be the number one consideration for people when choosing a web host. It will be obvious that traditional advertising will become less and less effective. Most people would rather opt for the web host based on things that they see and hear. Also based on the recommendations by those who have tried them and have proved to be a successful.

This is a great opportunity for web hosting affiliates and resellers alike. There would hundreds of web hosting and programs to choose from that the difficulty in finding the right one for them is not a problem anymore.

How does one become a successful Affiliate in the niche markets using web hosting?

If you think about it, everyone who needs a website needs a web hosting company to host it for them. As of now, there is really no leading hosting industry so most people choose hosts based from recommendations. Usually, they get it from the ones that have already availed of a web hosting services.

With the many hosts offering Affiliate programs, there is the tendency to find the one which you think will work best for you. Think of the product you will be promoting. Pattern them to the site and see if they are catering to the same things as you are.

When you have been with one host for quite some time and seem not to be making much despite all your effort, leave that one and look for another. There is no use in trying to stick to one when you would be before off in another one. Things will only have to get better from there because you already have been in worst situations.

Try this out. If you are quite happy and satisfied with your web host, try to see if they are offering an Affiliate program you can participate on. Instead of you paying them, why not make it the other way around; them paying you. The process can be as easy as putting a small “powered by” or “hosted by” link at the bottom of your page and you are already in an Affiliate business.

Why choose paying for your for your web hosting when you do not have to? Try to get paid by letting people know you like your web host.

Always remember that when choosing a web host, choose the one that is known for its fantastic customer support. There are also many hosting Affiliate programs. Residual Affiliate program is also being hosted. This is the program wherein you get paid a percentage every month for a client that you refer. This can allow you to have a steady source of income. With perseverance, you can even be quite successful in this field.

There are a lot of niche markets out there just waiting for the right Affiliate to penetrate to them and make that dollars dream come true. Knowing which one to get into is being confident enough of your potentials and the good results you will be getting.

Web hosting is just one Affiliate market you could try out and make some good and continuous income. Just remember that to be successful on your endeavor also means that time, effort and patience is needed.

Nobody has invented the perfect Affiliate market yet. But some people do know how to make it big in this kind of market. It is just knowing your kind of market and making the earnings there.

Do Yoda Proud: Meditation 101

Meditation refers to a state where your body and mind are consciously relaxed and focused. Practitioners of this art report increased awareness, focus, and concentration, as well as a more positive outlook in life.

Meditation is most commonly associated with monks, mystics and other spiritual disciplines. However, you don’t have to be a monk or mystic to enjoy its benefits. And you don’t even have to be in a special place to practice it. You could even try it in your own living room!

Although there are many different approaches to meditation, the fundamental principles remain the same. The most important among these principles is that of removing obstructive, negative, and wandering thoughts and fantasies, and calming the mind with a deep sense of focus. This clears the mind of debris and prepares it for a higher quality of activity.

The negative thoughts you have – those of noisy neighbors, bossy officemates, that parking ticket you got, and unwanted spam– are said to contribute to the ‘polluting’ of the mind, and shutting them out is allows for the ‘cleansing’ of the mind so that it may focus on deeper, more meaningful thoughts.

Some practitioners even shut out all sensory input – no sights, no sounds, and nothing to touch – and try to detach themselves from the commotion around them. You may now focus on a deep, profound thought if this is your goal. It may seem deafening at first, since we are all too accustomed to constantly hearing and seeing things, but as you continue this exercise you will find yourself becoming more aware of everything around you.

If you find the meditating positions you see on television threatening – those with impossibly arched backs, and painful-looking contortions – you need not worry. The principle here is to be in a comfortable position conducive to concentration. This may be while sitting cross-legged, standing, lying down, and even walking.

If the position allows you to relax and focus, then that would be a good starting point. While sitting or standing, the back should be straight, but not tense or tight. In other positions, the only no-no is slouching and falling asleep.

Loose, comfortable clothes help a lot in the process since tight fitting clothes have a tendency to choke you up and make you feel tense.

The place you perform meditation should have a soothing atmosphere. It may be in your living room, or bedroom, or any place that you feel comfortable in. You might want an exercise mat if you plan to take on the more challenging positions (if you feel more focused doing so, and if the contortionist in you is screaming for release). You may want to have the place arranged so that it is soothing to your senses.

Silence helps most people relax and meditate, so you may want a quiet, isolated area far from the ringing of the phone or the humming of the washing machine. Pleasing scents also help in that regard, so stocking up on aromatic candles isn’t such a bad idea either.

The monks you see on television making those monotonous sounds are actually performing their mantra. This, in simple terms, is a short creed, a simple sound which, for these practitioners, holds a mystic value.

You do not need to perform such; however, it would pay to note that focusing on repeated actions such as breathing, and humming help the practitioner enter a higher state of consciousness.

The principle here is focus. You could also try focusing on a certain object or thought, or even, while keeping your eyes open, focus on a single sight.

One sample routine would be to – while in a meditative state – silently name every part of you body and focusing your consciousness on that part. While doing this you should be aware of any tension on any part of your body. Mentally visualize releasing this tension. It works wonders.

In all, meditation is a relatively risk-free practice and its benefits are well worth the effort (or non-effort – remember we’re relaxing).

Studies have shown that meditation does bring about beneficial physiologic effects to the body. And there has been a growing consensus in the medical community to further study the effects of such. So in the near future, who knows, that mystical, esoteric thing we call meditation might become a science itself!

Until next time, keep reaching for your fullest potential!

Positive Attitude - Three Ways To Get On The Plus Side

When was the last time you had a good day? Can you remember? Was it yesterday? Last week? Three months ago? And what made it good? Was it because things went well, or just because you felt good about yourself?

We can’t always guarantee that things will go well, because the world is not in our control. But with a little effort we can guarantee that we feel good. Here are three simple steps to get yourself on the positive side each and every day.

Step #1 – Smile. When we feel good we smile – that’s obvious, but did you know that if you smile it makes you feel good in return? The very act of pulling our facial muscles into the position for smiling, and I do mean a proper smile, not just a twitch of the mouth, releases hormones which actually make us feel better? The body to brain connection is a two way street and we can send messages in both directions.

I find that combining the smile with an improved posture; straightening up, pulling back the shoulders and standing taller is a potent combination that instantly lifts my spirits.

Step #2 – Think the best possible thought. When I’m feeling worried or anxious about something, I know perfectly well that worries achieve nothing, but they can be difficult to dispel, so I have a favourite thought which I keep for just such an occasion.

I go back to a time a few years ago when I had to give an impromptu presentation to a large audience, which I wasn’t expecting. I was unprepared and very nervous, but fortunately it was on a subject I knew well.

At first I stumbled and hesitated but after a few minutes I could sense that the audience was willing me to succeed and I began to feel more confident. At the end of twenty minutes of non-stop presenting, I received thunderous applause and a room full of smiles. It was one of the most fulfilling moments of my life and I can still remember it vividly.

So when things are pressing down on me I simply remember that moment of triumph and all my troubles are put back in perspective.

Step #3. Help someone. Fears, worries and insecurities are inward looking and self-centred modes of thinking. One sure fire way of moving away from them is to focus externally, by carrying out a simple act of kindness for someone else.

Carry someone’s shopping, spare a moment to talk to someone alone, help a loved one with a difficult task or give a hand to a stranger. Whatever you do, make sure to do it with an open heart and no expectation of reward. Your reward will come from the good feelings you create within yourself.

So, next time anxiety or depression threatens simply stand up straight, smile, think your favourite thought and go find someone to help. I guarantee you’ll be living on the plus side in no time.

Hi, my name is Andrew Grant. I hope you enjoyed this article. If you would like to read more great articles on self improvement and making money online, I'd like to invite you to subscribe to my free newsletter, which you'll find at : http://www.money-and-mind.com

Self Esteem: 8 Universal Laws

The Law of Stuart Smalley

Genuinely strong self-eteem has nothing to do with the Stuart Smalley character on "Saturday Night Live." Smalley was played by talk-show host A1 Franken who looked in the mirror to tell himself "You're good enough,you're smart enough, and doggone it, people like you." This is not the kind of namby-pamby-feel-good self-esteem we're talking about.

The Law of Definition

Self-esteem is one of those frequently used terms that we believe we know the meaning of until we are asked to define it. Most folks define it as the way you feel about yourself. The problem is feelings can, and often do, change. The definition I have found most useful of self-esteem is: the strength and power of your belief in your self.

The Law of Ends vs. Means

While working on increasing your self-esteem, remember it's just a means to an end, not the end in and of itself. I've known lots of unsuccessful people, and even people who continually do the wrong thing, and yet they feel good about themselves. Self-esteem is merely a means to the end if increasing the quality of life, for yourself and those around you.

The Law of Company

Self-esteem is strongly influenced by the company you keep. Hang around people with weak self-esteem and yours is likely to be weak as well. And guess what? Hang around people with strong self-esteem, and yours is likely to strengthen as well.

The Law of Blame and Accuse

I've heard so many people say "My self-esteem is low because I'm too this/that, I grew up without this/that and this/that has happened to me." Which usually leads me to wonder what does a person who is too this/that, grew up without this/that, and has had this/that happen to them, DO WITH THE REST OF HIS OR HER LIFE?

The Law of Action

You can learn about self-esteem, read about it, go to seminars, etc., and nothing will change if you don't do something with what you learn. In order to change something, you simply must TAKE ACTION!

The law of NWBG

While NWBG may sound like the name of a rock group, it's really a fast and easy way to measure and mprove your self-esteem. In vertical order, write the letters NWBG, vhich stand for Now-Worst-Best-Goal. Now, on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 is the worst and 10 is the best) rate your self-esteem the way it is Now, the Worst it has ever been, the Best it has ever been, and the Goal you would like it to be. This gives you a number next to each of the letters NWBG. If you are like most folks, Now is higher the Worst. This gives us some important information:

How did you get from the worst to where you are now? The answers can be key for further strengthening your selfesteem.

The Law of Higher Math

Now we will do a little higher math in order to strengthen your self-esteem. Take the number for your Goal (let's say 10) and subtract from it the number for now (let's say 4), so it's 6. So that's six levels of selfesteem to travel, which is too big a chunk all at once.

Let's make it manageable by taking one level at a time. What small, simple steps can you begin to take immediately to move you from a four to a five? And then a 5 to a 6, a 6 to a 7, and so on. In this way you can measure your progress as you go, and rather quickly strengthen your self-esteem.

How's that for progress?

Visit The Internet Article Guy for more leading edge tips and tools for writing articles that bring you prospects, publicity and profits. You can also subscirbe to our monthly Article Empire Tips Newsletter. You are also invited to visit my Express-Start Article Writing Program for more information on the next article writing tele-seminar.

When Beauty Tries to Compensate For Self Esteem

We all strive for a beautiful and healthy body. This not only makes our hearts come alive but it keeps us alive and vibrant.

Unfortunately, there are some individuals who strive for beauty for reasons that not only are unhealthy but which in time actually detract from the over all attractiveness of the individual. One of the main unhealthy reasons to try and look beautiful is out of a need for attention or need for validation. Such needs usually stem from a fear of being alone and this is most often associated with low self esteem.

Using beauty to try to compensate for low self esteem is like trying to make your old broken down car attractive with a new paint job in order to get it sold when the engine no longer works. Sooner or later the truth will come out and any perceived gains will be lost. In the process there will also come a great deal of heart ache.

Attractiveness is more than skin deep. It is something that can only emerge from a fully self respecting and self confident human being. All of this can only come when an individual truly loves or esteems themselves in every way. Now many feel this is a distant and unachievable reality so they look for a quik fix from a good make over. A lot of organizations are making a lot of money feeding off of the poor self esteem of individuals.

What price do you pay when you buy into such "easy solutions" and pretend to yourself that this is the road to happiness? Well, what happens is that you go into a state of denial about what you really feel inside and then these feelings need to be kept suppressed. Where do they go then? Well, they actually go "into" your body and turn up sooner or later as some form of emotional or physical illness.

So in the end you're left with a reminder of the problem that you tried so hard to forget. The worst part about all of this is that once the illness stage emerges the tendency is again to find a quik fix in the form of some medication or drug prescribed by a physician. Most medications come with numerous side-effects. Staying on one or more long enough will cause you to likely experience some of these side-effects. The solution? Well, another medication of course, and so on.

Now if you are a young person you may think that this is all sounding a bit too pessimistic. Well my 20 years as a psychiatrist has given me enough experience to know that this is an ever recurring scenario. I'm presenting it to you here so that you will reflect carefully on your situation and make a wise and self respecting decision to take what ever feels like the truly right course for yourself.

Self esteem is something that can be improved more easily than one thinks these days, and in the right way. So I challenge you to strive for the true lasting beauty that can only emerge from a heart that is truly alive and open. It's the only way to be truly attractive!

Dr. Nick Arrizza is trained in Chemical Engineering, Business Management & Leadership, Medicine and Psychiatry. He is a Key Note Speaker, Author, Stress Management Coach, Peak Performance Coach & Researcher, Specializes in Life and Executive Performance Coaching, is the Developer of a powerful new tool called the Mind Resonance Process(TM) that helps build phyiscal, emotional, mental and spirtual well being by helping to permanently release negative beliefs, emotions, perceptions and memories. He holds live workshops, international telephone coaching sessions and international teleconference workshops on Physical. Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Well Being. Personal URL: http://www.telecoaching4u.com

Following your self improvement worksheets by heart

Have you ever wished that your life could be a lot better and more fulfilling than the one you are in right now? Have a self improvement worksheet you can put your plans on to turn them into reality.
Here are some of the things you have to plan out in your worksheet for a smooth sailing journey towards self improvement goal.

Get up early.

To be able to accomplish this and still avoid losing any precious sleep, you can go to bed just a half hour earlier to get up a half hour earlier than you usually do.

What this got to do with self improvement?

For different people the answer can vary slightly. To start with you need to fully awaken yourself and get rid of early morning sluggishness.

After you are completely alert step outside of your house and watch the sunrise. Nothing like the view of a fresh morning to set you out on your self improvement destination.

This simple but immensely satisfying act will lift your spirits and help with self improvement.

If you are unable to do this, take a brisk walk, jog or run depending upon what you prefer and what you are physically capable of.

Eat breakfast.

To start your day out on the right foot and stay in keeping with your self improvement plan this is practically a necessity. You need the energy this will provide you with to accomplish your daily tasks.

If you are overly pressed for time you might try cereal and milk or even a few pieces of fresh fruit would do.

Any of these are better alternatives than skipping breakfast.

Smile a lot.

When you go places, smile more at other people, even if you find it a bit difficult at first. Just curve your lips up a bit as you make eye contact with another human being.

An effective goal is written.

The primary purpose of your self improvement worksheet.

This is extremely helpful and essential because there will be times when your self improvement goals will make you uncomfortable and you may lose site of them.

When this happens, you need to have them written down to keep yourself on track and accountable. Posting your goals on the refrigerator, bulletin board, or in your planner ensures that you will be reminded of them on a daily basis.

Review them on a regular basis.

You must review your self improvement goals in order to stay on track. Check out your worksheet on the schedule you set. Reviewing them causes you to commit to their achievement.

According to studies, only 1% of the population actually understands how to effectively set goals. This is the reason why so many New Year's resolutions are not followed.

And this is also why people keep failing at the very same goal. The desire to improve yourself is genuine, but the process you go about while seeking this desire is faulty. Then how can you achieve the self improvement results you want?

The positive results of achieving any goal are unforgettable. An individual's failure to achieve is not because they are incompetent but because they simply do not know the process of success.

Have an effective self improvement worksheet. Follow what is written, be patient and celebrate your success to come.

Until next time, reach for your fullest potential!

How to Motivate Yourself Forever

Just as willpower is an essential factor in achieving success, at some point in time, discouragement and lack of motivation may hinder you from reaching your objective. And it is up to you, and you alone to devise techniques that will help you keep that drive within afire.

It is helpful to have visual goals. whatsoever that is you are working towards, make it visual. It maybe something material like a car, or a vacation you have been looking forward to for the longest time.

Take or cut out a picture of it and post it at a conspicuous place at work or at home where you can see it often. So that when you feel discouraged, this will remind you of your goal and will help you keep your spotlight.

Make a contract with oneself. According to motivational researches, people who write down to-do-lists are far more triumphant in achieving their intended goals than those people who just keep mental lists instead.

Putting something in writing somehow makes it more powerful psychologically speaking. This may also be the basis why most cultures have such a high regard in honoring contracts. In the contract, you may also include a certain reward that you will give yourself once you have accomplished the task.

After all, everyone likes to be rewarded for completing a good job. Even a simple pat on the back, “good job”, or “thank you” may do the trick to give the person the additional push to carry on, but unfortunately, these may not always be readily available. Considering that these are also essential in keeping oneself motivated, you must learn to find a way to get that encouragement on your own through pleasing yourself.

Abusive people lower your self-esteem and bring you down. Get these negative people out of your life. Surround yourself with positive people. Imitate their example. Smile amply and think happy thoughts.

These will give you a brighter outlook and lets you see a clearer picture of what you really want and a fresh mind to know what steps to take to get there. Rather than wait for things to happen, try to be proactive and MAKE THINGS HAPPEN. Inactivity idles the brain and stagnates your potential to reach your goals.

Read inspirational books and literature. These will help you improve your attitude and heal your mind. A book of success stories also proves to be encouraging. You will not only learn from others' experiences and derive confidence boosting insights from them but the story will be instrumental in motivating you to go for your goal and move ahead with your plans. If this still seems to falter, get training or education.

Oftentimes, not knowing how or where to start is frustrating. Knowledge is power. Having a clear understanding of how and where to start is empowering and it will provide the extra drive needed to hit the mark you are aiming at and follow it through.

Having enumerated all these tips and tricks to attain self-motivation, but still you seem to feel lacking that much needed drive, there is one last thing that you must try.

Whatever it is that you have been meaning to do, or wanting to achieve, JUST DO IT! Keep on aiming high and go for it! Actually getting your hands dirty best solves the problem of motivation. By “forcing” yourself to just do it, your momentum will pick up gradually as you go along and before you know it you have finished the task or have finally achieved your goal. Divide and conquer is the key.

Break down the apparently unattainable activity to small doable steps. Not only does it become less overwhelming, but seeing the "in the meantime" results will further your confidence that it can indeed be done.

Lack of motivation happens to us all, but if you do not encourage yourself to accept opportunities and be challenged, no one else will. It is most important to keep your eye on the goal, find ways to keep going, and in no time, you shall reap its benefits.

And if at the beginning you were just doing it for the material reward, you will also learn to realize that the fulfillment, satisfaction and self-achievement you derive from reaching your goal is a much enjoyable high that will keep the drive within constantly burning.

Until next time, keep reaching for your fullest potential!

Procrastination Help - Being Truthful to Yourself

Being truthful to oneself is probably the hardest thing a procrastinator can do.

Think about it. Procrastinators are always waiting for the "right" or "best" moment to do the things they have been putting off, refusing to acknowledge the fact the only "correct" time is NOW!

Also, they often deluge themselves from the reality that they will have sufficient time to complete the task at hand and keep putting it off until a later date which ends up in creating unnecessary stress and anxiety in them.

The end result? Nothing done! Deadlines coming and stress accumulates. This is how a typical procrastinator lives his life.

Do you happen to fall into the same category?

Well, if so, then it's time to be truthful to yourself.

It does not take you any extra effort or time to be true to yourself then to lie to yourself.

In fact, lying to yourself proves to be more tedious and time consuming for you'll have to constantly churn out new and creative ideas on what new lies are you going to tell yourself today.

If so, won't it be better to use of your creativity in more productive ways? Like finding ways on how you can kill procrastination?

First things first. The first truth you must acknowledge and accept is that you are a procrastinator. Until you are willingly to accept the fact that you have been procrastinating, no courses or advice will be able to help you.

Next, you'll have to be as truthful as you can in your estimation of how much time will it take you to do the things you don't like.

As you start looking into your life, you will see that most of the tasks that you put off are really simple tasks that can be done pretty quickly. However, if they were to be left unattended and undone till the last minute, they could cause a considerable amount of stress.

Are you able to recall a time when you actually took much lesser time than you have expected to finish an unappealing task?

So what can you learn from that experience?

In actuality, research has shown that most employees waste as much as 1/3 of their workday doing unproductive things. And usually these are the very same workers that habitually complain about chronic stress caused by not having sufficient time and notice to complete the tasks given to them.

Are you now able to see the connection?

The chronic suffering from the sensation of stress and anxiety is in fact closely related to the amount of work you are able to accomplish on time.

Therefore, one of the fastest ways to get to the root of the problem is to be aware of how you are spending your time.

Learn to keep track of how much time you have spent on doing things that do not contribute to your success.

Try to be vigilant for one whole day. At the end of the day, take out your list and analyze it.

Trust me. You will be surprised at how much time you have allowed to seep through your hands by doing things that do not contribute to your success at all.

Be vigilant in catching yourself doing those unnecessary tasks. It is true that you may not be able to control all the causes of such activities. However, there are certainly some activities that you can control. Just reduce your time spent in doing those things and you will see that you will have more time at hand.

In addition, remember to replace that time slot by doing tasks that you have identified to be able to aid you in your success and not replacing it with other unproductive activities.

"If you knew time as well as I do, you wouldn't talk about wasting it."

~~ Mad Hatter to Alice ~~

=-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==
Zach Kong is a web entrepreneur, a self mastery trainer and adviser. He has written several articles on self improvement his websites has provided people with valuable tools and advice on topic like on self mastery and self development.
Visit his website @ www.CashFormer.com to claim your free ebook now.
For more information and advice, visit his community @ www.ZachKong.com

Mastering Extra Sensory Perception

Processing Psychic Information Skills

Active Precognition vs. Creative Imagination

Be actively involved in the interpretation of your extra sensory perception process, receiving precognitive information versus your creative imagination:

• Take responsibility for keeping a journal, recording your insights, recognizing what you do and don't know, and knowing how to ask the correct questions in your mind to help you with what you don't know.

• Set up your personal session every day and take complete notes. Formulate your questions based on simple direct visual examples.

• Be an active participant, using your ESP in your daily affairs. Get ahead every day; try to perceive some of the events and circumstances, the day before. Anticipate what the challenges are and what your next step will be to achieve your desired results.

• Ask questions in your mind, record answers in your journal! Try to change your vision; you can alter the vision if it is your imagination. You can not alter precognitive information.

• Good exercise habits with your ESP everyday makes it easier to master and control your ability.

Exploring ESP is Different from Exploring Other Subjects

• Mastering your psychic abilities is learned by putting them into action. Questions help you learn to access and develop various techniques such as derma optic perception, radiesthesia, remote viewing to name a few. You do need to explore these skills even though you may not specialize in them.

• A word of encouragement: Each skill builds on other ones. You're always reviewing previous psi exploration as you explore new data. Many of these skills are interconnected. Identifying and learning these basic skills and concepts means you will move from one technique to the other in obtaining accurate information in predicting and problem solving at will.

Problem Solving

Problem Solving (ESP and Self Testing)

• When you work on problem solving for yourself or others, ask yourself complete and specific questions, as if you were describing every detail of a landscape. Don't just ask vague questions like, “will I get a promotion soon?” Reword the question to identify who, what, where and when; don't just do some mental demonstration of your imagination to convince yourself that you have the correct answer. If you can't get the answer, go back to describing the question.

• The practice you get in looking for solutions, asking yourself detailed questions and receiving answers will help you in gain the confidence you need in psychically reading anyone or any situation.

Tips on Problem Solving

Apply Self Testing:

1. The first and most important step in solving a problem is to test your psychic information, that is, identify exactly which is the imagination, wishful thinking or desired result, by making sure you are receiving accurate psychic data.

2. Next you need to devise a plan, that is, identify which skills and techniques you have developed can be applied to solve the problem at hand.

3. Psychically scan practical solutions adjacent the problem.

4. Activate the solution: Does the solution you found seem practical and doable? Also review the problem by asking yourself questions and method of solution.

Some problem-solving strategies: use one or more skills, consider derma optic perception if the problem involves an object, try remote viewing if the problem suggests a determined time and location, ask yourself and test yourself , draw a picture or diagram of what you are psychically receiving, work radiesthesia, use the solutions of your psychic conclusions.

Getting Assistance

Get help as soon as you need it. Don't wait until you are confused and frustrated. Psychic development builds on experience and practice. Anything you don't understand now will discourage you, stop or retard your progress.

You Control the Help You Get

Psychic Instructors should be coaches, not crutches! They should encourage you, give you hints as you need them, and show you how to perform various psychic techniques. But they should not, nor be expected to, actually do the work you need to do. They are there to help you develop and use your extra sensory perception for yourself.

• When you research a psychic instructor, have a specific list of questions prepared in advance related to background, accomplishments and work experience.

• Ask for a list of referrals, do the work and check them out!

• Do not allow yourself to be intimidated by the tutor or dependent in any way.

• You must recognize the importance of having a friendly adequate rapport with the tutor and that sometimes you do need some coaching to help you become a psychically skilled, and it is up to you to seek out that coaching.

Barbara Soblewski Garcia's website http://www.starmerge.com, offers a wide range of services from private ESP consultations to ESP development classes, an Art Gallery and prints store. Barbara gained mass recognition in the Seventies with her involvement in several criminal cases, most notably The Hillside Strangler. Over the years her psychic powers has been thoroughly tested by numerous investigations in both lab and field settings

Focus on your mental and emotional side to gain self improvement

Not everyone believes this but the emotional and mental aspects of a person, when combined, leads to better self improvement.

Emotions love to dominate our actions and reactions, even though we do not want it to happen sometimes. The society often see emotions as a sign of weakness, so people are used to putting them aside and focusing on the rational aspects more and more.

No matter how strict and logical you may be, you will always feel. One way or another, someone or something will get through you.

Positive emotions are a lifelong goal for many of us concerned about emotional health and self improvement. What is more important; the amount of money you made during your life or the times you laughed out of sheer joy?

People tend to put their positive emotions behind their negative feelings. This is one of the biggest problems that people come across during their lives.

There is no clear way to ignore a negative experience and try to replace it with a positive one. Life just does not work that way.

For example, when you were a child, if your goldfish dies, you would be heartbroken. Your parents will probably buy you another goldfish but the sorrow is still there.

Things get even more complex when you become an adult. A fight with your spouse the night before will affect your entire day. You will go to work angry, tired, and your mind will wander. On the way home from work you will not notice the sun shining and you would not be tempted to stop at a roadside stand to pick up some fresh fruits and vegetables.

All this because that one negative thought has contaminated the way you perceive the reality around you.

In this moment you will realize finding a safe place to relax your mind will do wonders for your emotional and mental improvement.

That place is relatively easy to find. It can be an actual place or an imaginary location. The best idea is to totally lose yourself in it.

Let us say you have a problem on your mind and it just would not go away. Go bowling. Do not know how? Just give it a shot.

Get caught up in the game. Your mind will drift away from the negative thoughts that dominated your last hours or days and start processing a whole new kind of information.

A safe haven can take many forms. It can be a song, a movie, even a person or animal. The main thing is allow yourself to get completely involved with this new activity.

You might still get flashes of the problem every now and then. Ignore it and get even more absorbed in what you are doing.

When the bowling game, the song, or the movie ends you will abruptly return to reality. You will probably want to retreat back to the safe place. Do not do it.

The safe place exists only as a helping hand, not as a solution to your life's problems, may it be a small or big. It serves only as an escape route.

You will return from your safe zone with an increased energy level. You will feel better about yourself and gain more confidence. You will see that any issue can be resolved.

This is how a small escape from a harsh reality can increase your emotional and mental health. Try to do this often and you are on your way to better self improvement.

Self - Improvement - 7 Tips On Cultivating A Positive Attitude

Are you living your life or drudging through your life? To live your life means that you are doing the things you have to do and also have room to enjoy your life. All people want to be happy and have their life have meaning. Yet many people are so stressed by the demands of daily living that life feels hard. These 7 tips are designed to help you regain control over your life.

1. Take Ownership of Your Attitude

We control our attitude. It is not something that is genetically or environmentally determined. We can choose to have a positive attitude about life. You can look at a glass as half full or half empty. The choice is yours.

2. Be Non-Judgmental

Let go of being critical of others. Open yourself up to not judging others. Try instead to listen and understand. As you open yourself up to not judging others you will be able to accept and enjoy yourself and others more.

3. Eliminate What You Are Tolerating

Tolerations are things we put up with that we do not really have to. We all tolerate more than we realize. Think about what you are tolerating. Just by becoming aware of and articulating some of your tolerations you will naturally start handling, eliminating, and fixing them.

4. Let go of Things That Do Not Matter

Much energy can be spent on being irritated and annoyed by things that really do not matter much. Put things in perspective and let go of a lot of it.

5. Become Incredibly Selfish About Who You Are

You need to matter to yourself. Establish boundaries with bother people so they do not take advantage of you. Love who you are. You are unique and special. Stop trying to be someone else.

6. Make Shifts That Reflect Who You Are

Your behavior has to be grounded in your values. Focus on what you want your life to be like rather than a specific behavior you want to change. For example: I will exercise regularly. Shift: I am someone who values my body and I will eat only healthy foods. When you make this shift you also will set up an exercise schedule and diet that reflects your values.

7. Have Fun in The Present

Take delight in life and create fun experiences for yourself. Life needs to be lived in the present and you might as well laugh and enjoy yourself.

For more tips and tools on self-improvement and enhancing your relationship please visit: http://www.kristinavonr.com by relationship expert Kristina von Rosenvinge

"Life With Woody" 10 inspirational quotes than can improve yourself

It might take a little coffee or probably a few rounds of beer or any other booze you could get your hands on when it comes to relaxing after a hard day's work. Well, yeah I'm guilty about that one as well, unless I'm caught dead wearing a lampshade over my head after a few rounds of vodka… half-naked! Okay, bad example and I apologize to everyone reading this after getting nightmares about me in that state of drunken stupor.

Just don't ask how it happened, please.

But what's really interesting is that how do people go through the usual part of life when faced with vein-popping stress? I mean, the new age thing like Zen or yoga is one of the good things and it actually works. Is there room for the intellectual side of people who can actually smell the roses-in-a-can while on the move? It kind of had me thinking that there really must be something in this 'mind-over-matter' thing.

Humor is indeed the best medicine there is whenever you are. I mean anyone can pay good money to listen to a comedian just to make you wet your pants after laughing so hard. Despite of what's been happening, and to those who has gone though the ordeal, it's better to just laugh while facing the troubles with a clear mind than anger with a clouded vision. One of my favorite celebrities of all time may have to be Woody Allen. Now this is one guy who gives you the in-your-face bluntness that he pulls out with gusto, even without even trying. You can talk just about anything with a man, and he's bound to mock the subject and you'll end up laughing rather than being upset about it.

Woody Allen has this to say:

1. "Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons." It sounds good to me, I mean the practicality of all things does involve money but it doesn't have to take an arm and a leg to get it.

2. "I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government." 'Nuff said.

3. "There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?" This happens to be one of the classic ones. I mean the issue about life's little problems isn't all that bad, until 'he' shows up.

Sure, relationships can get complicated, or does have its complications that probably any author about relationships is bound to discover it soon. We follow what our heart desires, unless you're talking about the heart as in the heart that pump blood throughout your body.

4. "Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions." And if you want more, just keep on asking!

5. "A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'." It sounds, 'practical', I think.

And when it comes to everyday life, he really knows how to make the best out of every possible scenario, and it doesn't involve a lawsuit if he strikes a nerve.

6. "Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats." I never had a boat in my bathtub before. Just staring at it while soaking in hot water makes me seasick already.

7. "I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens." If it rains, it pours.

8. "I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose." It could get worse when you're guzzling on beer… or mouthwash, and it happened to me once!

9. "If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans." At least he doesn't smite us with lightning, and I'm thankful for that.

And despite of what may happen to all of us in the next ten, twenty, or even thirty years, I guess we all have to see things in a different kind of light and not just perspective. I can't seem to imagine life without any piece of wisdom that could guide us. Whether we're religious or not, it takes more courage to accept your fears and learn how to deal with them is all that matters when it comes to even just getting along.

And to sum things up, here is the last nugget of wisdom to go by… however, whenever, and wherever we may be.

10. "The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have."

Until next time, keep reaching for your fullest potential!

Self improvement advice: Meditation

There are particular moments in life that when you wish you could depend on anybody’s self improvement advice. But even if they gave it to you with the best intentions, in case anything goes wrong, you are always going to blame those persons.

That is why specialists strongly advise you, every time you find yourself at a crossroads, to always take the decisions by yourself.

The question arising is: how can we know how to take it and which is the best solution?

No matter how young or old you are, you must have gotten to a point in your life when you have to take a big decision, which will probably affect your entire existence.

There is no doubt that there are certain moments in life when you feel helpless and disoriented and believe you could use some self improvement advice in order to figure out how to proceed with your life.

The answer is never simple. However, there is one self improvement advice that can be of great help and employed regularly will have great results.

It is called meditation and it has been used for centuries in certain rituals and by ancients civilizations. Even in old and famous books, like the Bible, people are invited to meditate, to discover and fight the evil in us and by knowledge to gain control over our decisions and our lives.

How do we proceed when meditating?

First of all, you need to be away from any source of distraction. You cannot analyze your deepest feelings and thoughts and watch a movie at the same time.

Secondly, you need to ask yourself a series of questions that will help you to better determine who you really are. The questions should relate to everyday aspects.

What do you like doing?

What made you most proud of yourself during your entire life?

What is it that you always wanted to do and you never found the time?

What role does money play in your life?

What is it more important for you, you family life or your career?

How much do you depend on others?

If you are worried about a certain decision, let all the questions be related to that issue. If you are just confused when asking the questions, think about the common topics that one has to deal with during his life.

Do not forget to write down the answers. Try to concentrate and to be sincere. After all, nobody will judge you.

All these questions will help you determine exactly where you stand and what is it that you want form life. All you have to do is to get the right interpretation of your own replies.

In order to do that, help yourself to a coup of tea or your favorite coffee and take the time to analyze them thoroughly. Mark with a red pen whatever you find pride worthy answers and with a black one the things that do not make you proud.

Post the list somewhere where you can see it more than once a day, or post it in more than one place.

You will notice that, step by step, even unwillingly, the black things on your list will start turning red. Do not forget to renew the list when most of it has turned red! It is the best way to always be aware what your expectations from life are.

Take this simple self improvement advice and see the positive results for yourself.

Until next time, keep reaching for your fullest potential!

SELF IMPROVEMENT AND SUCCESS

Everything that happens to us happens in purpose. And sometimes, one thing leads to another. Instead of locking yourself up in your cage of fears and crying over past heartaches, embarrassment and failures, treat them as your teachers and they will become your tools in both self improvement and success.

I remember watching Patch Adams – its my favorite movie, actually. Its one great film that will help you improve yourself. Hunter “patch” Adams is a medical student who failed to make it through the board exams. After months of suffering in melancholy, depression and suicidal attempts – he decided to seek for medical attention and voluntarily admitted himself in a psychiatric ward. His months of stay in the hospital led him to meeting different kinds of people. Sick people in that matter. He met a catatonic, a mentally retarded, a schizophrenic and so on. Patch found ways of treating his own ailment and finally realized he has to get back on track. He woke up one morning realizing that after all the failure and pains he has gone through, he still want to become the a doctor. He carries with himself a positive attitude that brought him self improvement and success. He didn’t only improved himself, but also the life of the people around him and the quality of life. Did he succeed? Needless to say, he became the best damn doctor his country has ever known.

So, when does self improvement become synonymous with success? Where do we start? Take these tips, friends…
*Stop thinking and feeling as if you’re a failure, because you’re not. How can others accept you if YOU can’t accept YOU?

*When you see hunks and models on TV, think more on self improvement, not self pitying. Self acceptance is not just about having nice slender legs, or great abs. Concentrate on inner beauty.

*When people feel so down and low about themselves, help them move up. Don’t go down with them. They’ll pull you down further and both of you will end up feeling inferior.

*The world is a large room for lessons, not mistakes. Don’t feel stupid and doomed forever just because you failed on a science quiz. There’s always a next time. Make rooms for self improvement.

*Take things one at a time. You don’t expect black sheep’s to be goody-two-shoes in just a snap of a finger. Self improvement is a one day at a time process.

*Self improvement results to inner stability, personality development and dig this …. SUCCESS. It comes from self confidence, self appreciation and self esteem.

* Set meaningful and achievable goals. Self improvement doesn’t turn you to be the exact replica of Cameron Diaz or Ralph Fiennes. It hopes and aims to result to an improved and better YOU.

*Little things mean BIG to other people. Sometimes, we don’t realize that the little things that we do like a pat on the back, saying “hi” or “hello”, greeting someone “good day” or telling Mr. Smith something like “hey, I love your tie!” are simple things that mean so much to other people. When we’re being appreciative about beautiful things around us and other people, we also become beautiful to them.

*When you’re willing to accept change and go through the process of self improvement, it doesn’t mean that everyone else is. The world is a place where people of different values and attitude hang out. Sometimes, even if you think you and your best friend always like to do the same thing together at the same time, she would most likely decline an invitation for self improvement.

We should always remember that there’s no such thing as ‘over night success’. Its always a wonderful feeling to hold on to the things that you already have now, realizing that those are just one of the things you once wished for. A very nice quote says that “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” We are all here to learn our lessons. Our parents, school teachers, friends, colleagues, officemates, neighbors… they are our teachers. When we open our doors for self improvement, we increase our chances to head to the road of success.

Until next time, keep reaching for your fullest potential!

Genuine Happiness Comes from Within

Life isn’t the sweetest candy. Sometimes, when I feel like the world is just too heavy, I look around and find people who continued to live fascinating and wonderful lives. And then thoughts come popping into my mind like bubbles from nowhere – “How did their life become so adorably sweet? How come they still can manage to laugh and play around despite a busy stressful life?” Then I pause and observed for awhile… I figured out that maybe, they start to work on a place called ‘self’.

So, how does one become genuinely happy? Step 1 is to love yourself.

My theology professor once said that “loving means accepting.” To love oneself means to accept that you are not a perfect being, but behind the imperfections must lie a great ounce of courage to be able to discover ways on how to improve your repertoire to recover from our mistakes.

Genuine happiness also pertains to contentment. When you are contented with the job you have, the way you look, with your family, your friends, the place you live in, your car, and all the things you now have – truly, you know the answer to the question “how to be genuinely happy.”

When we discover a small start somewhere from within, that small start will eventually lead to something else, and to something else. But if you keep questioning life lit it has never done you any good, you will never be able to find genuine happiness.

I believe that life is about finding out about right and wrong, trying and failing, wining and losing. These are things that happen as often as you inhale and exhale. Failure, in a person’s life has become as abundant and necessary as air. But this should not hinder us from becoming happy.

How to be genuinely happy in spite all these? I tell you… every time you exert effort to improve the quality of life and your being, whether it is cleaning up your room, helping a friend, taking care of your sick dog, fail on board exams and trying again, life gives you equivalent points for that.

Imagine life as a big score board like those which are used in the NFLs. Every time you take a step forward, you make scoring points. Wouldn’t it be nice to look at that board at the end of each game and think to yourself “Whew! I got a point today. I’m glad I gave it a shot.”, instead of looking at it all blank and murmur “Geez, I didn’t even hit a score today. I wish I had the guts to try out. We could have won!” and then walk away.

Genuine happiness isn’t about driving the hottest Formula 1 car, nor getting the employee of the year award, earning the highest 13th month pay, or beating the sales quota. Sometimes, the most sought after prizes in life doesn’t always go to the fastest, the strongest, the bravest or not even the best. So, how do you become genuinely happy? Every one has his own definition of ‘happiness’. Happiness for a writer may mean launching as much best selling books as possible. Happiness for a basketball rookie may mean getting the rookie of the year award. Happiness for a beggar may mean a lot of money. Happiness for a business man may mean success. So, really now, how do we become genuinely happy? Simple. You don’t have to have the best things in this world. Its about doing and making the best out of every single thing. When you find yourself smiling at your own mistake and telling your self “Oh, I’ll do better next time”, you carry with you a flame of strong will power to persevere that may spread out like a brush fire. You possess a willingness to stand up again and try – that will make you a genuinely happy person.

When you learn to accept yourself and your own faults. You pass step 1 in the project “how to become genuinely happy”.For as long as you know how to accept others, you will also be accepted. For as long as you love and know how to love, you will receive love ten folds back.

Again, throw me that same question “how to become genuinely happy?”. I’ll refer you to a friend of mine who strongly quoted- “Most of us know that laughter is the best medicine to life’s aches and pain. But most of us don’t know that the best kind of laughter is laughter over self. Coz then you don’t just become happy… you become free.”

Until next time, keep reaching for your fullest potential!

What Can Time Management Bring To Your Personal Growth?

Time management is basically about being focused. The Pareto Principle also known as the '80:20 Rule' states that 80% of efforts that are not time managed or unfocused generates only 20% of the desired output. However, 80% of the desired output can be generated using only 20% of a well time managed effort. Although the ratio '80:20' is only arbitrary, it is used to put emphasis on how much is lost or how much can be gained with time management.

Some people view time management as a list of rules that involves scheduling of appointments, goal settings, thorough planning, creating things to do lists and prioritizing. These are the core basics of time management that should be understood to develop an efficient personal time management skill. These basic skills can be fine tuned further to include the finer points of each skill that can give you that extra reserve to make the results you desire.

But there is more skills involved in time management than the core basics. Skills such as decision making, inherent abilities such as emotional intelligence and critical thinking are also essential to your personal growth.

Personal time management involves everything you do. No matter how big and no matter how small, everything counts. Each new knowledge you acquire, each new advice you consider, each new skill you develop should be taken into consideration.

Having a balanced life-style should be the key result in having personal time management. This is the main aspect that many practitioners of personal time management fail to grasp.

Time management is about getting results, not about being busy.

The six areas that personal time management seeks to improve in anyone's life are physical, intellectual, social, career, emotional and spiritual.

The physical aspect involves having a healthy body, less stress and fatigue.

The intellectual aspect involves learning and other mental growth activities.

The social aspect involves developing personal or intimate relations and being an active contributor to society.

The career aspect involves school and work.

The emotional aspect involves appropriate feelings and desires and manifesting them.

The spiritual aspect involves a personal quest for meaning.

Thoroughly planning and having a set of things to do list for each of the key areas may not be very practical, but determining which area in your life is not being giving enough attention is part of time management. Each area creates the whole you, if you are ignoring one area then you are ignoring an important part of yourself.

Personal time management should not be so daunting a task. It is a very sensible and reasonable approach in solving problems big or small.

A great way of learning time management and improving your personal life is to follow several basic activities.

One of them is to review your goals whether it be immediate or long-term goals often.

A way to do this is to keep a list that is always accessible to you.

Always determine which task is necessary or not necessary in achieving your goals and which activities are helping you maintain a balanced life style.

Each and everyone of us has a peek time and a time when we slow down, these are our natural cycles. We should be able to tell when to do the difficult tasks when we are the sharpest.

Learning to say "No". You actually see this advice often. Heed it even if it involves saying the word to family or friends.

Pat yourself at the back or just reward yourself in any manner for an effective time management result.

Try and get the cooperation from people around you who are actually benefiting from your efforts of time management.

Don't procrastinate. Attend to necessary things immediately.

Have a positive attitude and set yourself up for success. But be realistic in your approach in achieving your goals.

Have a record or journal of all your activities. This will help you get things in their proper perspective.

These are the few steps you initially take in becoming a well rounded individual.

As the say personal time management is the art and science of building a better life.

From the moment you integrate into your life time management skills, you have opened several options that can provide a broad spectrum of solutions to your personal growth. It also creates more doors for opportunities to knock on.

Until next time, keep reaching for your fullest potential!

Leadership Exposed: Things You Thought You Knew About Leadership

Much has been written about leadership: rules, pointers, styles, and biographies of inspiring leaders throughout world history. But there are certain leadership ideas that we ourselves fail to recognize and realize in the course of reading books. Here is a short list of things you thought you knew about leadership.

1. Leaders come in different flavors.

There are different types of leaders and you will probably encounter more than one type in your lifetime. Formal leaders are those we elect into positions or offices such as the senators, congressmen, and presidents of the local clubs. Informal leaders or those we look up to by virtue of their wisdom and experience such as in the case of the elders of a tribe, or our grandparents; or by virtue of their expertise and contribution on a given field such as Albert Einstein in the field of Theoretical Physics and Leonardo da Vinci in the field of the Arts. Both formal and informal leaders practice a combination of leadership styles.
· Lewin’s three basic leadership styles – authoritative, participative, and delegative
· Likert’s four leadership styles – exploitive authoritative, benevolent authoritative, consultative, and participative
· Goleman’s six emotional leadership styles - visionary, coaching, affiliative, democratic, pacesetting, and commanding.

2. Leadership is a process of becoming.

Although certain people seem to be born with innate leadership qualities, without the right environment and exposure, they may fail to develop their full potential. So like learning how to ride a bicycle, you can also learn how to become a leader and hone your leadership abilities. Knowledge on leadership theories and skills may be formally gained by enrolling in leadership seminars, workshops, and conferences. Daily interactions with people provide the opportunity to observe and practice leadership theories. Together, formal and informal learning will help you gain leadership attitudes, gain leadership insights, and thus furthering the cycle of learning. You do not become a leader in one day and just stop. Life-long learning is important in becoming a good leader for each day brings new experiences that put your knowledge, skills, and attitude to a test.

3. Leadership starts with you.

The best way to develop leadership qualities is to apply it to your own life. As an adage goes “action speaks louder than words.” Leaders are always in the limelight. Keep in mind that your credibility as a leader depends much on your actions: your interaction with your family, friends, and co-workers; your way of managing your personal and organizational responsibilities; and even the way you talk with the newspaper vendor across the street. Repeated actions become habits. Habits in turn form a person’s character. Steven Covey’s book entitled 7 Habits of Highly Effective People provides good insights on how you can achieve personal leadership.

4. Leadership is shared.

Leadership is not the sole responsibility of one person, but rather a shared responsibility among members of an emerging team. A leader belongs to a group. Each member has responsibilities to fulfill. Formal leadership positions are merely added responsibilities aside from their responsibilities as members of the team. Effective leadership requires members to do their share of work. Starting as a mere group of individuals, members and leaders work towards the formation of an effective team. In this light, social interaction plays a major role in leadership. To learn how to work together requires a great deal of trust between and among leaders and members of an emerging team. Trust is built upon actions and not merely on words. When mutual respect exists, trust is fostered and confidence is built.

5. Leadership styles depend on the situation.

How come dictatorship works for Singapore but not in the United States of America? Aside from culture, beliefs, value system, and form of government, the current situation of a nation also affects the leadership styles used by its formal leaders. There is no rule that only one style can be used. Most of the time, leaders employ a combination of leadership styles depending on the situation. In emergency situations such as periods of war and calamity, decision-making is a matter of life and death. Thus, a nation’s leader cannot afford to consult with all departments to arrive at crucial decisions. The case is of course different in times of peace and order---different sectors and other branches of government can freely interact and participate in governance. Another case in point is in leading organizations. When the staffs are highly motivated and competent, a combination of high delegative and moderate participative styles of leadership is most appropriate. But if the staffs have low competence and low commitment, a combination of high coaching, high supporting, and high directing behavior from organizational leaders is required.

Now that you are reminded of these things, keep in mind that there are always ideas that we think we already know; concepts we take for granted, but are actually the most useful insights on leadership.

Until next time, keep reaching for your fullest potential!

Setting Your Goals - Easier Said, Easily Done

The basics of setting a goal is an open secret known by top-caliber athletes, successful businessmen and businesswomen and all types of achievers in all the different fields. The basics of setting goals give you short-term and long-term motivation and focus. They help you set focus on the acquisition of required knowledge and help you to plan and organize your resources and your time so that you can get the best out of your life.

Setting clearly defined short term and long term goals will enable you to measure your progress and achieve personal satisfaction once you have successfully met your goals. Charting your progress will also enable you to actually see the stages of completion leading to the actual realization of your goals. This eliminates the feeling of a long and pointless grind towards achieving your goal. Your self-confidence and level of competence will also improve as you will be more aware of your capabilities as you complete or achieve your goals.

The basics of goal settings will involve deciding what you really want to do with your personal life and what short term and long term goals you need to achieve it. Then you have to break down goals into the smaller and manageable targets that you must complete in your way to achieving your lifetime targets. Once you have your list waste no time in tackling your goals.

A good way to have a manageable list is to have a daily and weekly set of goals. By doing this you will be always in the position of going towards you life plan goals. Everyday will give you the opportunity to fulfill a certain goal giving you the feeling of accomplishment.

Here are some pointers that should be taken into consideration in setting goals and achieving them.

Attitude plays a very big role in setting and achieving your goals. You must ask yourself if any part of you or your mind holding you back towards completing your simplest goals? If there are any part of your behavior that is being a hindrance or puts your plans into disarray? If you do have problems in these areas then the immediate thing to do is to address this problem. Solutions may include a visit to a doctor or psychiatrist to control your emotions.

Careers are made by good time management practice. Failing in a career is often attributed to bad time management. Careers require a lot from an individual which often makes the career the life of the individual. Plan how far do you want to go into your career.

Education is key in achieving your goals. If your goals require you to have a certain kind of degree or require a certain specialization or demand a certain skill to be developed, make plans in getting the appropriate education.

Your family should never be left out of your plans. If you are just starting out then you have to decide if you want to be a parent or when you want to be a parent. You also have to know if you really would be a good parent and how well would you relate to extended family members

Personal financial situations also play a major role in achieving your goals. Have a realistic goal on how much you really want to earn. You also must be able to create plans or stages by which you will be able to reach your earning potential.

Physically gifted individuals may be able to achieve sports related goals like being in the National Basketball association or National Football League. Determining your physical capabilities should be one of your priorities. Physical limitations could however be conquered with proper planning.

As the saying goes -'All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy', or something to that effect, is by all means true down to the last the letter. Giving yourself a little pleasure: should be included into your plans.

To start achieving your lifetime goals, set a quarter of a century plan, then break it down to 5 year plans then break it down again to 1 year plans, then 6 month plans then monthly plans, then weekly, then daily.

Then create a things-to-do list for the day.

Always review your plans and prepare for contingencies.

The basics of goal settings should not be so difficult once you get to be familiar with them.

Until next time, keep reaching for your fullest potential!

Spiritual Growth: the Spiritual Challenge of Modern Times

To grow spiritually in a world defined by power, money, and influence is a Herculean task. Modern conveniences such as electronic equipments, gadgets, and tools as well as entertainment through television, magazines, and the web have predisposed us to confine our attention mostly to physical needs and wants. As a result, our concepts of self-worth and self-meaning are muddled. How can we strike a balance between the material and spiritual aspects of our lives?

To grow spiritually is to look inward.

Introspection goes beyond recalling the things that happened in a day, week, or month. You need to look closely and reflect on your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and motivations. Periodically examining your experiences, the decisions you make, the relationships you have, and the things you engage in provide useful insights on your life goals, on the good traits you must sustain and the bad traits you have to discard. Moreover, it gives you clues on how to act, react, and conduct yourself in the midst of any situation. Like any skill, introspection can be learned; all it takes is the courage and willingness to seek the truths that lie within you. Here are some pointers when you introspect: be objective, be forgiving of yourself, and focus on your areas for improvement.

To grow spiritually is to develop your potentials.

Religion and science have differing views on matters of the human spirit. Religion views people as spiritual beings temporarily living on Earth, while science views the spirit as just one dimension of an individual. Mastery of the self is a recurring theme in both Christian (Western) and Islamic (Eastern) teachings. The needs of the body are recognized but placed under the needs of the spirit. Beliefs, values, morality, rules, experiences, and good works provide the blueprint to ensure the growth of the spiritual being. In Psychology, realizing one’s full potential is to self-actualize. Maslow identified several human needs: physiological, security, belongingness, esteem, cognitive, aesthetic, self-actualization, and self-transcendence. James earlier categorized these needs into three: material, emotional, and spiritual. When you have satisfied the basic physiological and emotional needs, spiritual or existential needs come next. Achieving each need leads to the total development of the individual. Perhaps the difference between these two religions and psychology is the end of self-development: Christianity and Islam see that self-development is a means toward serving God, while psychology view that self-development is an end by itself.

To grow spiritually is to search for meaning.

Religions that believe in the existence of God such as Christianism, Judaism, and Islam suppose that the purpose of the human life is to serve the Creator of all things. Several theories in psychology propose that we ultimately give meaning to our lives. Whether we believe that life’s meaning is pre-determined or self-directed, to grow in spirit is to realize that we do not merely exist. We do not know the meaning of our lives at birth; but we gain knowledge and wisdom from our interactions with people and from our actions and reactions to the situations we are in. As we discover this meaning, there are certain beliefs and values that we reject and affirm. Our lives have purpose. This purpose puts all our physical, emotional, and intellectual potentials into use; sustains us during trying times; and gives us something to look forward to---a goal to achieve, a destination to reach. A person without purpose or meaning is like a drifting ship at sea.

To grow spiritually is to recognize interconnections.

Religions stress the concept of our relatedness to all creation, live and inanimate. Thus we call other people “brothers and sisters” even if there are no direct blood relations. Moreover, deity-centered religions such as Christianity and Islam speak of the relationship between humans and a higher being. On the other hand, science expounds on our link to other living things through the evolution theory. This relatedness is clearly seen in the concept of ecology, the interaction between living and non-living things. In psychology, connectedness is a characteristic of self-transcendence, the highest human need according to Maslow. Recognizing your connection to all things makes you more humble and respectful of people, animals, plants, and things in nature. It makes you appreciate everything around you. It moves you to go beyond your comfort zone and reach out to other people, and become stewards of all other things around you.

Growth is a process thus to grow in spirit is a day-to-day encounter. We win some, we lose some, but the important thing is that we learn, and from this knowledge, further spiritual growth is made possible.


Until next time, keep reaching for your fullest potential!

MOTIVATION, THE HEART OF SELF IMPROVEMENT

Pain may sometimes be the reason why people change. Getting flunked grades make us realize that we need to study. Debts remind us of our inability to look for a source of income. Being humiliated gives us the ‘push’ to speak up and fight for ourselves to save our face from the next embarrassments. It may be a bitter experience, a friend’s tragic story, a great movie, or an inspiring book that will help us get up and get just the right amount of motivation we need in order to improve ourselves.

With the countless negativities the world brings about, how do we keep motivated? Try on the tips I prepared from A to Z…

A - Achieve your dreams. Avoid negative people, things and places. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

B - Believe in yourself, and in what you can do.

C – Consider things on every angle and aspect. Motivation comes from determination. To be able to understand life, you should feel the sun from both sides.

D – Don’t give up and don’t give in. Thomas Edison failed once, twice, more than thrice before he came up with his invention and perfected the incandescent light bulb. Make motivation as your steering wheel.

E – Enjoy. Work as if you don’t need money. Dance as if nobody’s watching. Love as if you never cried. Learn as if you’ll live forever. Motivation takes place when people are happy.

F – Family and Friends – are life’s greatest ‘F’ treasures. Don’t loose sight of them.

G – Give more than what is enough. Where does motivation and self improvement take place at work? At home? At school? When you exert extra effort in doing things.

H – Hang on to your dreams. They may dangle in there for a moment, but these little stars will be your driving force.

I – Ignore those who try to destroy you. Don’t let other people to get the best of you. Stay out of toxic people – the kind of friends who hates to hear about your success.

J – Just be yourself. The key to success is to be yourself. And the key to failure is to try to please everyone.

K – keep trying no matter how hard life may seem. When a person is motivated, eventually he sees a harsh life finally clearing out, paving the way to self improvement.
L – Learn to love your self. Now isn’t that easy?

M – Make things happen. Motivation is when your dreams are put into work clothes.

N – Never lie, cheat or steal. Always play a fair game.

O – Open your eyes. People should learn the horse attitude and horse sense. They see things in 2 ways – how they want things to be, and how they should be.

P – Practice makes perfect. Practice is about motivation. It lets us learn repertoire and ways on how can we recover from our mistakes.

Q – Quitters never win. And winners never quit. So, choose your fate – are you going to be a quitter? Or a winner?

R – Ready yourself. Motivation is also about preparation. We must hear the little voice within us telling us to get started before others will get on their feet and try to push us around. Remember, it wasn’t raining when Noah build the ark.

S – Stop procrastinating.

T – Take control of your life. Discipline or self control jives synonymously with motivation. Both are key factors in self improvement.

U – Understand others. If you know very well how to talk, you should also learn how to listen. Yearn to understand first, and to be understood the second.

V – Visualize it. Motivation without vision is like a boat on a dry land.

W – Want it more than anything. Dreaming means believing. And to believe is something that is rooted out from the roots of motivation and self improvement.

X – X Factor is what will make you different from the others. When you are motivated, you tend to put on “extras” on your life like extra time for family, extra help at work, extra care for friends, and so on.

Y – You are unique. No one in this world looks, acts, or talks like you. Value your life and existence, because you’re just going to spend it once.

Z – Zero in on your dreams and go for it!!!

Until next time, keep reaching for your fullest potential!

Your Recommended Daily Allowance for Relaxation

Stress is the curse of living in modern times. Everyone suffers from stress. And the stress we suffer takes a heavy toll on our bodies, emotions and minds.


Feeling stressed out, worn out by fatigue or just simply having a miserable day, the best thing to do is relax.

Watching television may be a form of relaxation for some, but is not a recommended method by experts. When we watch TV we are bombarded with commercials, ads, sounds and images. So how do we achieve relaxation? If there are thousands of ways we can get stressed, one of them is not meeting deadlines, there are also many ways we can relax.

In recent studies, experts have determined that heart disease is linked to anger and irritability is linked to mental stress. Too much stress brings about ischemia that can lead to or cause a heart attack. Relaxation takes on added importance in light of this matter. Managing your anger and attitude is significant to heart health, and relaxation can help you manage stress.

One way of relaxation is transcendental meditation. Recent studies have also shown that this method might reduce artery blockage, which is a major cause for heart attack and stroke. People practice transcendental meditation by repeating uttering soothing sounds while meditating, this is to achieve total relaxation. The researchers found that practitioners of transcendental meditation significantly reduced the thickness of their arterial wall compared with those who didn't practice transcendental meditation.

Another study on another method of relaxation, acupuncture, seems to reduce high blood pressure by initiating several body functions for the brain to release chemical compounds known as endorphins. Endorphin helps to relax muscles, ease panic, decrease pain, and reduce anxiety.

Yoga is also another method for relaxation and may also have similar effects like acupuncture. In another study, participants were subjected to several minutes of mental stress. Then they were subjected to various relaxation techniques, such as listening to nature sounds or classical music. Only those who did Yoga significantly reduced the time it took for their blood pressures to go back to normal. Yoga is a form of progressive relaxation.

Breathing is one of the easiest methods to relax. Breathing influences alamost all aspects of us, it affects our mind, our moods and our body. Simply focus on your breathing, after some time you can feel its effects right away.

There are several breathing techniques that can help you reduce stress.

Another easy way to achieve relaxation is exercise. If you feel irritated a simple half-hour of exercise will often settle things down. Although exercise is a great way to lose weight, it does not show you how to manage stress appropriately. Exercise should also be used in conjunction with other exercise method.

One great way of relaxation is getting a massage. To gain full relaxation, you need to totally surrender to the handling and touch of a professional therapist.

There are several types of massages that also give different levels of relaxation.

Another method of relaxation is Biofeedback. The usual biofeedback-training program includes a 10-hour sessions that is often spaced one week apart.

Hypnosis is one controversial relaxation technique. It is a good alternative for people who think that they have no idea what it feels like to be relaxed. It is also a good alternative for people with stress related health problems.

Drugs are extreme alternatives to relaxation. They are sometimes not safe and are not effective like the other relaxation methods. This method is only used by trained medical professionals on their patients.

These relaxation techniques are just some of the ways you can achieve relaxation. Another reason why we need to relax, aside from lowering blood pressure in people and decreasing the chances of a stroke or a heart attack, is because stress produces hormones that suppress the immune system, relaxation gives the immune system time to recover and in doing so function more efficiently.

Relaxation lowers the activities within the brains' limbic system; this is the emotional center of our brain.

Furthermore, the brain has a periodic need for a more pronounced activity on the right-hemisphere. Relaxation is one way of achieving this.

Relaxation can really be of good use once a relaxation technique is regularly built into your lifestyle. Choose a technique that you believe you can do regularly.