Confident Public Speaking: Check This "Avoid At All Costs" List

In the pursuit of confident public speaking skills, it is important to accept that nervousness may never be completely eliminated in some public speakers. This is not necessarily bad. A certain amount of nervousness can be positively channeled to enhance performance.

Nevertheless, confident public speaking does involve learning not to betray one's nervousness through obvious body signals.

Familiarize yourself with the items in the list below and either check yourself through a video playback of your next presentation or have a close friend or colleague critique your presentation by looking out for these indicators that betray a lack of confidence in public speaking.

Mannerisms and Awkward Gestures

As well as destroying your professionalism, they can be very distracting for an audience. Get a friend or partner to alert you if you begin doing any of the following:

stand with one leg wrapped around the other
stand on the sides of one's shoes
keep touching the nose, mouth, ears, or any part of the face
lean on the speaker's stand using it as a prop
keep putting hands in and out of pockets
fiddling with one's wrist watch
repeatedly swallowing
buttoning and unbuttoning the jacket
standing with hands clasped behind the back

Visual Aid Dangers

If you use a flip chart, whiteboard, or projection screen, avoid constantly fiddling with the marker pen, mouse, or projector control as if they were worry beads. This can be distracting and betray a certain nervousness.

Far better to have your hands free, only picking up the marker or control when you intend to use it and then put it back again on the table or speaker's stand.

Using your hands deliberately for descriptive or emphatic gestures will be far more effective than haphazardly waving a marker pen or projector control in the air.

What Do You Do With Your Hands?

Confident public speaking means you know what to do you with your hands.

When you are not using them to gesture, let them hang by your side loosely and naturally. They won't remain there for long if you are giving an animated presentation.

Your hands and arms will frequently be moving, gesturing, but in between times, just let them hang loose, ready and waiting.

Concentrate On Ideas

Confident public speaking involves the ability to concentrate on expressing your IDEAS rather than exact words. Doing this will go a long way in helping you avoid the mannerisms noted above.

This will allow your delivery to flow which makes it easy on the ears and listenable as opposed to a stop/start style of delivery.

Apart from your introduction and conclusion which require more attention to exact wording, thorough preparation and total immersion in your subject will allow you to speak extemporaneously without worrying overly about exact word choice.

The latter can result in a speaker gazing into the air fumbling for the right word which in time will destroy the concentration of the audience.

Even if you don't feel you are confident in public speaking, you don't have to advertise the fact. Use the checklist above to spot and avoid obvious signs of nervousness and you will at least leave the audience relaxed and engrossed rather than distracted.

Drawing What You Need Towards You

I walked away with my tail between my legs. Sure, the error was all mine. I had a list of people I'd spoken to and one name was really obscure and neither Jo nor I knew who they were.

I sat down and thought about it. 'Who are you?' I asked. 'Make yourself known to me again?'

With that I turned my attention to other matters. That's when the phone rang and the person on the list revealed themselves to me.

Now if we want to be cynical we could say that the materialisation of that phone call was just coincidence - that this person just happened to call and remind me who they were. But what are the chances?

First, I just happened to have written the name badly on the list. Second, Jo just happened to spot my error. Third, we just happened to be discussing the person. Fourth, I just happened to ask for that person to make themselves known to me again. And it all just happened to happen, in the space of an hour.

What odds would you give on that happening?

This kind of thing happens to me too often for me to doubt that there is some greater connection going on between all our minds - a higher awareness.

How does it work?

First we ask for things. Second we have to be consciously aware of what's happening to us. It's important that we follow events as they unfold rather than letting our mind get in the way. It's also important to do it with a sense of humour and to celebrate in some way when the universe provides.

As soon as our mind gets in the way we break the chain of events and distort what the universe is creating - often ending up with something we didn't want.

When we put our attention on finding a solution or a person we are brought into connection with minds - sometimes people we know, sometimes people we didn't know - who are prepared to answer our call for help.

These people have the will to help, if you have the will to let them in. What often occurs when our call is answered is a discussion to see if help is possible. Oddly, as a quirk of human nature, we sometimes repel people who come to help and either we reject them or they decide they just cannot help us.

While I know synchronicity happens, I'm in no way attached to it happening. I put out a call for things and get on with life. There is no hankering. I ask, then I read, jog, make phone calls or do whatever I have to do while staying open to what happens.

I think it's fair to say that attachment to an outcome is the biggest block that can get in the way. The times in my life when I've had no money are the hardest times to create money. When I've been in pain, it's hard to imagine no pain.

But each time I've asked for a person to show up who can guide me (that's guide me - not do for me), they've shown up and helped me. From their life got better.

You'll find some very simple tips below. Please take note, this is a very simple version I'm giving you because all our situations differ. This basic outline is however workable for us all.

1. Think of one think that you feel you life needs right now.

2. Be clear on what you want.

3. Write it down

4. See it happening in the mind.

5. Now go about your daily life, aware that answers will come to direct you.

6. Keep doubt out. Stay positive.

Love and good wishes
Neil

CommunitySoul - Neil Fellowes

Goal Setting 101

We all have goals. Some goals are long-term and some are short-term. Some are goals we have shelved for so long they are dusty and covered with cobwebs. Some are freshly minted. However for those of us who are not as successful in life as we would wish we often despair of achieving our goals. Some goals seem out-of-reach and unattainable. This does not have to be what actually happens. We have the power within ourselves to change our lives and the place to begin is when we are setting our goals.

There are simple rules that make it more likely for us to achieve our goals and the first is to follow the K.I.S.S. principle. In other words, keep it simple stupid. The more elaborate and complicated we make our goals then the less likely we will be to follow through with them.

The best way to simplify your goal setting is to only set one goal -- the ultimate goal. After that then everything else is just details. What is the ultimate goal? What is your final destination? When you are on your deathbed and you cast a look back over your life then what do you want to see accomplished there? When you look around you what do you want to see? That vision is your ultimate goal.

We all know that having a destination in mind makes traveling easier. Knowledge of that destination helps us plan what to pack and controls our transportation decisions. The same is true when it comes to setting goals and achieving those goals. If we know our destination then we know what to pack (and what to leave behind) and we can make better decisions about how to reach that destination. Simplifying our goals to that one ultimate goal also helps us focus on that one destination rather than constantly detouring and losing our way. It also makes it easier to measure the importance and relevance of so many other decisions that impact our daily life when we have the measuring stick. If we take Path A or Path B which will be more effective in reaching that ultimate destination?

Naming that ultimate goal for ourselves is a tremendously powerful tool for our own success because so often we spend our time and energy focusing on managing the details of our lives. We are simply reacting to whatever is thrown at us by others or simply by daily life. However in order to truly achieve success and achieve our goals then we must take the lead and that means acting. Simply by setting our ultimate goal and focusing our energy and time on that goal means that instead of reacting we are now taking action. That action means we have taken a leadership role in our own success. Simply by taking that action we are taking control of our own life and that is a very powerful step toward success.

If you want to achieve more success in your life then you must set one simple goal -- the ultimate goal for your life -- and you must get out in front of the goal to take action with your life instead of reacting all your life.

Deanna Mascle shares more motivational and inspirational messages through her Advice Column blog at http://justfolks.net.