Man In The Mirror

The Truth About Postpartum Depression

2012-01-01T19:10:00.000-05:00

Tom Cruise and Brooke Shields are currently engaging in a word war against each other because of a type of depression, called postpartum depression. Cruise's and Brooke's debacle started when Tom Cruise openly disapproved of Brooke Shield's personal choice of opting to take prescribed medicines to cure her postpartum depression, when he guested at the Today Show. According to Cruise, who is a popular devotee of Scientology (who believes that we can be cured through natural means and that taking medicine is doing our body harm), Brooke Shields should have instead, opted to cure her postpartum depression by doing healthy exercises. Adding that a lot of people have been misinformed about depression and how to actually cure this common illness.

But what is postpartum depression really? We've heard about it often enough, yet are we really sure that we know enough about it for us to actually understand this illness in order for us to help ourselves as well as others? Being pregnant should really be a source of joy for everyone, especially the mother to be, who for nine months, will actually have living being grow from inside of her. Unfortunately, there is another side to this joyous occasion, being pregnant means that you and your body will have to get used to some adjustments for you to have a safe pregnancy. Smoking, alcohol, strenuous activities as well as stress should be avoided at all cost. A healthy baby means having a healthy mother as well. But given that you have been able to successfully avoided all these bad habits for your baby to be, childbirth is a whole different thing, as much as we may try to avoid it, there are still some unfortunate cases wherein the mother's as well as the baby's life might be in danger.

But there's actually more, postpartum depression actually happens after childbirth. Although it's quite common and a lot of women have learned to how to deal with it as well as successfully treat it (like Brooke Shields), it is still quite avoidable. Postpartum depression is actually a lot like depression, but only new moms are the possible victims of this illness. There are actually a lot possible reasons why postpartum depression occurs:

Childbirth as we all know is not as easy as pie, actual physical stress from giving birth is one of the main reasons why postpartum depression occurs. Next postpartum depression trigger is massive changes is hormonal levels. A lot of moms-to-be who were hesitant about bearing a child are also more susceptible to postpartum depression, those who are not ready to be a mother yet are more easily to get depressed as opposed to happy and excited moms-to-be.

When postpartum depression happens, it really is best to go to the doctor immediately. Aside from obviously having ill-effects for the new mother, postpartum depression can prove to be harmful to the child as well. New mothers who are suffering from postpartum depression may be harboring ill feelings toward their children. Their are actually some cases of murder wherein postpartum depression has been cited as the reason. Mothers who suffer from postpartum depression may blame their child for their weight gain, thus feeling like they've become less attractive and unloved. It is really best to consult a reputable cognitive behavior therapist to take care of your postpartum woes, your therapist may prescribe medications to help cure postpartum depression as well as therapy sessions to help relieve whatever pent emotions that you may have.

Get the right information on beating depression and don't let it get you down!

How to Flirt Effectively

2011-12-29T22:06:00.001-05:00

Men and women flirt differently, for different reasons and expect different outcomes to the flirting. However, if you put aside that outcome and flirt just to be friendly you are opening yourself to different opportunities. You may well end up with a new lover but if that doesn’t work out you could meet someone who becomes a good friend and who knows who she might introduce you to. Keep your options open.

After you have exchanged glances and smiles across a room and you are fairly confident that SHE thinks that she might like to get to know you better, send a drink to her. But remember that ALL you are buying is a drink. Don’t expect her to fall at your feet. Sometimes it is nice just to send someone a drink, watch when she receives it and smile, then look away – look back again later to show your interest.

If you find yourself invited to her table, keep you mind on the conversation and not on getting a date with her. Most women want to know what kind of person they are going out with long before they actually go out with them. Make an effort to get to know her and give her the opportunity to get to know you before diving in for a date.

Do not ever approach two women in the same group. No woman wants to feel like second best. Refrain from approaching one after another in the same group. You look like a loser and the women may think you are desperate and looking for any port in a storm. Even if you are, don’t show it.

When you compliment a woman make certain that it is a genuine compliment. There’s nothing worse than someone giving out a load of overblown lines. Everyone has something great about them, notice that and compliment them genuinely.

Do not ever put your hands on a woman uninvited. Some women have no objection to ‘touchy feely’ encounters, others are horrified by it. Respect the person until you have had the opportunity to know more about her. Touching can be a lovely flirty action, but should be confined to the arms or resting the hand just above the arms and NOT touching, until you know more. Test the personal space by moving closer, noticing the reactions then moving back a little to remove the threat.

Respect yourself at all times. Women always fall for men who are that little bit unreachable. Don't hover or grovel or act desperate. Think of yourself as special and know what you deserve the very best.

Get the best guides for learning how to flirt the right way!

Where to Go on Your First Date

2011-12-23T20:16:00.000-05:00

That is an age-old question. Cave men had it made. They firmly believed in kidnapping and taking their date to a filthy cave out in the middle of nowhere. Those were what was known as the good old days. Now days first date destinations and plans are a little trickier. First let’s cover where NOT to go on a first date.

The old standby of dinner and a movie is a really poor choice for a first date. How will you get to know the lady if you are sitting in a darkened theater with a movie being shown? If you choose the movie, there is probably going to be a lot of frantic car chases and a lot of blood involved. Neither are conducive to creating a memorable evening.

Also, don’t take your date to your parent’s house! She will know right away that you are a mama’s boy and you will never see her again.

Don’t take your date to a sleazy bar with a motel out back. You will scare the poor woman to death. She will jump out of the car and hitchhike back to town believing that she would be safer with a burly truck driver than with you.
Now, some good first date ideas are:

Begin with a simple lunch or coffee date. You want to keep the date casual so suggesting meeting up for lunch or coffee can be a good start. This way, if the date didn’t go so well, you can end the date there but if you enjoy each other company, you have the rest of the day to spend getting to know each other better.

Here are some ideas of where to go if the lunch or coffee date tells you’re there is some good chemistry happening:

If it is the season, an amusement park or a theme park is a good first date idea. It doesn’t matter how old you are, we can all be big kids at heart. There’re so much you can do at amusement parks and theme parks that most likely you will forget about the dating pressure and just have fun.

Most well populated areas have an array of museums covering many different subjects. Visiting one that is dedicated to something that you have in common with the woman is another good first date idea.

For more on dating visit the top 30 sites for dating.

Setting the Mood with Your Date

2011-12-16T21:58:00.001-05:00

Nothing makes for a more romantic gesture than one that is made purely for the sake of romance itself. When it comes to seducing a woman if you want to make a really great impression on us then you’ll want to pull out all the stops and create a romantic date without waiting for a special occasion. Not to mention there’s no rule that says you have to wait for a certain day or time.

This particular tip requires knowing a bit about your lady and what she likes and doesn’t like. But you don’t have to know her like the back of your hand in order to make a truly romantic evening for the two of you to share. The most important thing is to consider what you know she finds romantic and then do your best to create that for her. The very fact that you thought of her and wanted to romance her out of the blue will really impress her and make her feel truly special.

Many of these suggestions would take relatively little time for preparation. Remember, it’s sometimes the smallest gesture that will really make a woman feel special. The first romantic setting is a candlelit picnic in a park or other quiet location. This is sure to make your lady feel special. There’s no special occasion needed. This is also easy to put together with a bottle of wine, some cheese, strawberries, whatever the two of you like.

If you have a portable CD player you can bring that along with a disc of romantic music and you’ll have an evening that the both of you are sure to remember. Just don’t forget to check the weather and be sure to bring the blanket!

The next suggestion I have is good for any weather, a nice candlelit meal consisting of her favorite foods and dessert at your place. When you’re planning this evening be sure to have soft, romantic music on and a nice bottle of wine. Her favorite flowers would be an extra nice touch. This meal could be prepared by you or ordered and picked up from a restaurant.

As long as you’ve taken care to choose what she likes it’s sure to be a huge hit! If your place tends to be a bit messy, be sure to take the extra bit of time to clean it up so that she’s not tripping over your tennis shoes or gym bag.

For more on dating visit top 30 sites on dating.

Physiology of Massage

2011-07-01T08:55:00.000-04:00

Your state of mind is of prime consideration while you are giving massage to someone with the objective of relieving the receiver’s body from pain and tension. This is because until and unless your mind and feelings are not pure in nature you will transmit your tension to receiver’s body. Before giving a massage you should first of all watch your vibrations. If vibrations in your hand and other parts of body are rapid because of emotional upsets you should not give massage and should postpone the schedule to some other day. Example: You should not give massage while you yourself are affected from cold or flu because you may infect the receiver body. The objective is before giving a massage to someone else’s body you should be first calm yourself. When you will have peace in your mind then you will be able to give relief through massage to other person.

The most basic rule to give massage is let your instincts be your guide. While giving massage if you suddenly feel that you should touch a particular receiver’s body in a particular way then you should not hesitate in doing that. Give a touch to that particular part of receiver’s body with proper stroke and pressure as soon as it is calling you with the aim of relieving it. You should be pure in heart and should have peace of mind while giving massage this means that do not let your ego penetrate between you and your receiver. While giving a massage someone first locate problem area and then try to give relief by giving proper required stroke or application of pressure but if receiver is not relieved from pain after reasonable amount of time then abandon your efforts for a while and return to that area after sometime and then again put your efforts in achieving your aim this can be done several times in one massage if receiver’s body requires it.

Many people try to engrave their fears and tensions within themselves with the hope that these fears and tensions may remain hidden from the entire world and from themselves also but this is not the fact. Though these fears and tensions may remain hidden for a while but will surely return in more dangerous manner in form of pains or body aches and the sufferer will not be able to predict the real problem this time. An intelligent massage therapist can communicate with tensions and can end these tensions by their magical massage.

What Is Tension?

2011-06-25T09:53:00.001-04:00

What are tension headaches?
Tension headaches are headaches caused in people due to tension in mind. Most people describe it as a constant achy feeling on either side of head. Some people also feel tightness in their head and neck muscles. It often starts in middle of day and begins gradually and slowly. Some people also call it as stress headaches that means when people say that they have stress headaches they mean by saying this that they have tension headache. It may be severe or mild, but when it is severe it sometimes may be more painful and dangerous and do more harm than migraine headaches.

How to diagnose?
Tension headaches can be analyzed and diagnosed by the inspection of your doctor. Your doctor can tell the nature of your headaches by an examining you and studying the description of pain given by you. And to diagnose this problem technique like Blood Tests, X-Ray or brain scans are usually not required.

What treatment to take in which situations?
When your tension headaches are occasionally then simple pain reliever which can be taken without prescription can be useful. But while choosing these pain relievers you should first of all check the label for possible side effects which may be caused due to interactions with other medicines you are taking. So to avoid any such possibilities you must read the instructions on the label and follow them carefully. If you are still facing any problems regarding how to take the dosage you must consult your reliable doctor or pharmacist.

But if your tension headaches are not occasionally and occur everyday or at regular short intervals of time then these pain relievers will not give you the right treatment and so in this type of situation you should consult your doctor this is because the medicine which he will prescribe you will be more beneficial for relieving the pain at the time of these tension headaches. These medicines referred by your doctor not only help in relieving the pain but sometimes also useful in preventing these headaches to take serious forms. It is always advisable to treat the tension headaches when they are mild before they take some serious forms this is because in earlier stages these headaches can be cured more easily.

What other techniques could be useful to relive pain from tension headaches besides using medicines?
Besides taking medicines you can also use several other techniques to get relieve from pain in tension headaches. These techniques include:
Take enough sleep or rest
Put an ice pack on your neck or head at the time of these headaches
Regular exercises of 30-60 minutes 6 times a week will be useful in relieving the pain
Take everyday walk after meal or move on a long vacation to relieve yourself from your busy life.

Aromatherapy

2011-06-18T09:47:00.001-04:00

Primary keyword:
What is Aromatherapy?
Aromatherapy is the science of using fragrant essential oils from trees and plants, natural herbs to enhance a person’s health and his beauty. The field of aromatherapy is becoming famous because people are looking for a better solution to new days emerging diseases as an alternate to existing system of medicine in allopathic, ayurvedic etc. It is science and art of using herbs and essential oils from trees and plants to make use of their medicinal value. Aromatherapy is a practical, safe and inexpensive means of better health. In this method by which essential oils taken from natural aromatic plants, and herbs is taken in crushed form used to enhance the health of a person and also for the emotional well being of person.

Where the concept did came from?
Early Egyptians used this herbs and essential oils to purify their body for life after death in pharaohs. French Chemist Rene Maurice is credited with the origin of the term Aromatherapy. The story of the term Aromatherapy begins with him. It was accidentally this term came into existence. The story of the beginning of this term Aromatherapy is explained in following lines below:
While in the year 1920 he was working in his lab he burned his hand and then to get relief from this severe pain he plunged his arm in lavender essential oil that was the only cold substance around him at that time. This action healed his hand rapidly and here it gave birth to a new science. This French chemist devoted his remaining life in exploring the healing power of natural essential oils and medicinal values of herbs.

What are applications of Aromatherapy?

Aromatherapy is widely used in treatment. It is an accepted system of treatment in many countries. Some of applications of aromatherapy are as:
It can give immediate relief from severe pain as soon as the wounded or burned portion of a person body is brought in contact of cold of herbs and essential oils. Products like lavender are used to treat burn victims while scents are used to recover a person from anxiety and depression.

Essential Oils are high concentrated extracts of plants which are hundred times powerful than the plant itself and can be very efficiently used in treatment. Many types of essential oils are used for their smell only. Example: The scent from plant Eucalyptus is used to provide relief from problems like chest congestion.

Many essential oils are used for their anti-fungal, anti-bacterial and anti-inflammatory property. Tea tree oil is used to recover from ringworm and fungal infections etc.

Massage in aromatherapy

2011-06-05T09:44:00.002-04:00

Aromatherapy is the holistic and traditional system of treatment which has been resulting proven from long time back. It is brought into action by application of Essential Oil in a mix of carrier oil to provide relief to patient from almost all diseases. It can give relaxation to a person from tension and stress of mind and body. When the highly concentrated Essential Oil in carrier oil is diluted and applied to patient body through techniques of massage then it provides the magical treatment to mind and body of patient. So to bring the magic of aromatherapy into action and to transform the theories into reality and facts proper massage is basic requirement. So some knowledge about massage is also essential.

What is Massage?
Massage is to touch the body with the intention of relieving the pain. The most important thing is to remember while giving a massage is let your instinct be your guide. You should have an aim to relief the body of patient from tension, stress and pain. So Massage should be given with purity of heart and honesty. Your body and mind should be free from tension and stress while giving a massage otherwise it is possible that you may transmit your tension and stress to receiver body. To cure most emotional and physical problems regular massage session are necessary which can bring dramatic changes to both mind and body. It is said that magic of massage is a gift because the ability to give a magical massage without training is a gift and some people are born with this gift. But those who are not born with this gift can extend their skills and learn this magic so that massage can become an integral part of their life.

How can one learn magic of massage?
When one is desirous of mastering the art and wishes to help someone feel better. Put your ego aside and listen to what the receiver body is telling you. Let your instincts guide your hands as you fill your being with love and allow your compassion to flow from you to the receiver. When you function with purely instinctual basis, you are automatically in touch with those magical forces that allow you to sense things which normally escape your awareness. A person giving massage to another person should also take care of following things like he should be free from any tension and stress. He should not be suffering from any disease. If this is so that the person giving massage to another person is suffering from cold hen there are possibilities that he will transfer his own problems to receiver body and receiver will be sicker. A physically and mentally sound person can only give effective massage if he knows the art of massage.

Internet Marketing for Beginners

2011-05-31T06:46:00.001-04:00

Internet marketing for beginners is somewhat of an oxymoron. This is because while in theory the concepts behind Internet marketing might be quite simple, executing effective strategies can be extremely difficult. This can even be tough for those who are quite experienced in the world of Internet marketing. With this in mind, this article will attempt to explain the concept of Internet marketing for beginners and will outline some basic strategies which can help a business owner to launch his own Internet marketing campaign. We will cover concepts such as creating a website, placing banner ads, sending out e-newsletters, orchestrating an email marketing campaign and optimizing your website for search engines.

One of the most basic steps for starting an Internet marketing campaign is to create a website. If you don’t have a website or have a poorly designed website you should consider creating or re-designing a website to adequately market your products. If you do not have experience in web design, there are a number of software packages which make it simple for those with no design experience to create a functional website. However, hiring a web designer is worthwhile because he can work to create a website which is attractive, functional and suitable to your products and series. He can also help you include more advanced features on your website.

Banner ads are another popular option for advertising your business on the Internet. Banner ads are advertisements which typically appear along the top of a website but it may also include smaller ads in other locations. Banner ads typically include graphics and text which entice Internet users to click on the advertisement. Once a user clicks on the ad, they are directed to your website. This type of advertising can be very effective when care is taken to place the advertisements on high traffic websites which attract an audience who may have an interest in your products.

Sending out e-newsletters can also be a part of an effective Internet marketing strategy. E-newsletters are essentially emails which may contain a variety of information including informative articles, useful quizzes, relevant advertising or any other information which is deemed worthwhile for the recipients of the e-newsletter. The importance of these newsletters is that they can be used as marketing tools which are not viewed by the recipients as an advertisement. One way to do this is to incorporate links or other soft sale approaches into the copy of the e-newsletters. However, care should be taken to keep these references minimal so the e-newsletter is not viewed as spam.

Email marketing campaigns can be another successful aspect of an Internet marketing campaign. Email marketing essentially involves sending out emails to a group of individuals who may be interested in your products and services. Care should be taken in sending out these emails to avoid sending emails which are unsolicited and will be viewed as spam. One way to do this is to only send out the emails to users who have requested inclusion on an email mailing list. Another way to do this is to provide value in the emails as opposed to just including advertisements. This can be done by offering relevant advice in your emails and other useful information which may be of interest to the recipients of the email.

Finally, optimizing your website for search engines is a critical aspect of an Internet marketing campaign. Search engines rank websites according to quality and relevance for particular search terms. Many Internet users appreciate the effort by search engines and use these search engines to find the best websites on a particular subject. This means the Internet users are likely to only visit websites which rank well with search engines. Therefore if your website is not high ranking, you are not likely to generate a great deal of traffic from Internet users who use search engines to find relevant websites. Top ranking websites are likely to obtain the most traffic from search engines and all websites falling on the first page of the search engine results will likely enjoy some degree of success in improving their traffic.

Get more information on internet marketing here.

Anger Management in Children

2011-05-25T09:40:00.001-04:00

Anger, a normal emotion, can transform into something painful and ugly. First thoughts of anger issues may bring about images of a couple fighting, a parent abusing a child, a teenager lashing out at a teacher or a parent. Rarely will images of angry children come to mind. Unfortunately children, at very young ages, have to deal with feelings of anger and rage. This is a truth which is often difficult to understand or manage.

Children, young children especially, aren't normally aware of how they feel. When a child becomes upset or mad they simply show these emotions through their behavior. A good example of this might be the little boy in the supermarket who throws a tantrum because he's upset. Many parents have had to deal with similar situations. It is unfortunate that often times these occurrences are overlooked or dismissed because they are "just children". Anger management in children is as important, or perhaps even more important than anger management in adults.

A child requires instruction and guidance from their coming into the world to their entry into adulthood. The things they learn throughout their young lives are likely to form the person they become as an adult. For this reason anger management in children with difficulties controlling their temper is extremely important. Finding ways to teach anger management in children might present challenges.

There are programs designed specifically for children with anger management issues. Finding one that works for a particular child might require testing many methods. Not all children will respond to the same treatments for anger management in children. Because a child cannot always relate their feelings surrounding angry outburst, finding the right approach may take some time. Until the issue is resolved or at least controlled, it is imperative to continue the search.

Young children may respond well to worksheets, games and fun activities. All of these can be used effectively to teach anger management in children. Developing programs which incorporate each of these might be the best route to take. A child completing a worksheet, coloring sheet or participating in games and activities with underlying messages regarding anger management, may not even realize they are working on their problem. Making the activity fun doesn't mean that the anger issue has to be left out. Choosing fun activities which teach healthy interaction and decision making might be good for anger management in children. Teaching them to take turns and helping them to learn that they can't always be the best or the winner would definitely make a difference when confrontational situations arise. Little activities which instill values and positive thinking would be beneficial for anger management in children.

If a child is old enough to talk about their anger problem, encouraging them to share their feelings is important. Suggesting they talk to someone who they feel comfortable with and trust is a good idea regarding anger management in children. Asking them to write or draw about their emotions may be able to help disclose their underlying issues, whether fear, hurt or sadness. Teaching them to ask for help when they feel threatened or angry would certainly help the child with a problem. The important detail to realize when considering anger management in children are they are just "children". Their minds are not equipped to handle big people situations and so they will require a more careful approach.

All About Clinical Depression

2011-05-24T10:43:00.000-04:00

Depression, a mental illness that is often characterized by prolonged periods of sadness and melancholy, experts from the field of psychiatry say.

But just because one person is moping around and just generally hating the world around him or her, doesn't mean that it's already depression, but if this kind of behavior, the feeling of emptiness, loss of self-worth and absolutely no hope for happiness just goes on and on, then, yes, that individual is very much, indeed, depressed.

Still, there are various types of depression, from Manic or Bipolar depression - characterized by sudden and extreme changes in one's mood wherein one minute he or she is in an elevated state of euphoria while the next minute (day or week) he or she is feeling to be in a personal hell, Postpartum depression - characterized by a prolonged sadness and a feeling of emptiness by a new mother wherein physical stress during child birth, an uncertain sense of responsibility towards the new born baby can be just some of the possible factors why some new mother go through this, Dysthimia - characterized by a slight similarity with depression, although this time, it's been proven to be a lot less severe, but of course with any case, should be treated immediately, Cyclothemia - characterized by a slight similarity with Manic or Bipolar depression wherein the individual suffering from this mental illness may occasionally suffer from severe changes in one's moods, Seasonal Affective Disorder - characterized by falling in a rut only during specific seasons (i.e. Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall) studies however, prove that more people actually fall in to a rut more during the WInter and Fall seasons and lastly, Mood swings, wherein a person's mood may shift from happy to sad to angry in just a short time.

Clinical depression however, or as some might call as 'major' depression, is actually the medical term for depression. Actually clinical depression is more of a disorder rather than an illness since it basically covers only those who are suffering from symptoms related to depression. Clinical depression is how doctors usually refer to "depression" when giving a diagnose of their patient. It's basically just a medical term.

However, in spite of being an actual disorder, Clinical depression may well be treated. Doctors are actually highly optimistic that their patients who are suffering from Clinical disorder will be well on their way towards good mental health as long as they treated as soon as they have been diagnosed with Clinical depression. Patients who have been seeking for treatments for Clinical depression have proven to be quite successful in their quest, given that 80 percent of actual Clinical depression patients have been treated and has somewhat found relief from their disorder.

For those who may be seeking some answers for their Clinical depression related questions, the depression section of the health center is highly recommended, as well as books on psychiatry and the internet - which can offer a lot of helpful information with regards to Clinical depression although self-medication/treatment is highly disapproved of. Clinical depression may not pose as much as a threat as the other types of depression, but it is best to leave it to the hands of professionals who can safely attend to and cure this disorder.

Anger Management Therapy

2011-05-18T09:39:00.001-04:00

Anger management programs offer the individual plenty of information regarding techniques and strategies for dealing with anger. Is there anger management therapy available for those who feel the need to take their treatment a step further?

In the early 1970's, a psychiatrist named Aaron T. Beck, M.D, developed an anger management therapy focusing on problem-solving. This therapy initially called Cognitive Therapy is now also known as Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy or CBT. Beck worked with patients for years using his psychiatric knowledge but was burdened to see his patient's treatment making only slow progress. Beck wanted to use a more intense approach to anger management therapy.

Cognitive Therapy is a form of anger management therapy which helps a person to correct or change specific details in their thinking. These details, involving negative feelings, will likely lead to anger and cause behavioral problems. Beck realized that it is during the thinking process, negative thoughts are formed which lead to changes in emotions and behavior. If an individual could be treated at this stage, helping them to change their way of thinking, then they would see changes in their emotions and behavioral pattern. Using strategies and techniques such as relaxation training and assertiveness training, CBT has proven to be a relatively fast method of providing an individual with relief and allowing them to experience freedom through endurance. Cognitive Therapy has proven to be the most effective type of psychological treatment. Its popularity has spread worldwide and is used by many qualified professionals to treat individuals with behavioral difficulties such as anger. Literature about CBT is widely available and there is training in CBT provided for professionals.

Many people who suffer with anger-related issues avoid therapy. Some think they don't need it and others see it as a sign of weakness. The opposite can actually be said of an individual who seeks anger management therapy. They are strong and determined, willing to take whatever measures necessary to make positive changes in their life. When a person gets to the point where they can admit they need anger management therapy, it is essential to find a therapist who makes them feel comfortable. It is important to be able to communicate easily with a therapist since this is the person who will help reshape the individual's life. Building a trusting relationship with their therapist is vital when an individual is committed to therapy, no matter how long it takes.

Being able to share emotions, whether good or bad, is important in anger management therapy. It is through sharing and trusting that a person begins to discover things about themselves. Once these discoveries are revealed, an individual will begin to work on making changes in their thoughts and emotions which will lead to positive changes in their lives. Anger management therapy may seem tough initially but with a trusting therapist, an individual will certainly make progress. This relationship between the individual and their therapist provides a safety zone, a place where they can feel free to disclose their innermost thoughts and inhibitions. Exploring underlying feelings of these thoughts will eventually provide the tools necessary for success.

Anger management therapy, either CBT or meeting regularly with a therapist, is definitely beneficial for people striving to work through anger-related issues. Choosing anger management therapy is a big step and requires the support and encouragement from family and friends.

Taking Manic Depression Seriously

2011-05-14T10:43:00.000-04:00

Manic depression or Bipolar depression is actually considered as one of the worst type of depression that people usually suffer from.

Characterized by sudden and extreme changes in their mood, Manic depression is said to be called as such because manic = mania refers to the 'ups' while depression refers to the 'downs'.
A lot of people actually experience erratic changes in their moods, some times, these so-called mood swings may not just be caused by PMS (pre-menstrual syndrome) or stress. Doctors actually have diagnosed mood swings as a common symptom of depression.

But when these so-called mood swings have gone to utmost absurdity, from getting irked even by the littlest or simplest of thins like not getting your favorite ice cream flavor, this may not be just a sign of brattiness, but when getting irked means you'll cuss and swear on the ice cream vendor and throw absurd tantrums, this may already be the start of Manic depression.The so-called 'manic' or 'ups' in Manic depression is described as to be the times when a person suffering from Manic depression may experience overly high periods, consisting of heightened energy, a sudden outburst of euphoric mood, extreme irritability, thoughts racing as well as aggressive behavior.
According to therapists, someone suffering from Manic depression may have these so-called manic 'periods' wherein sudden outbursts of euphoric and elevated mood swings may actually go through this for as long as not just a day, in can actually go on for as long as one week, even longer than that.

When it comes to the so-called 'low' or 'down' periods, as its name suggests can actually bring someone who is suffering from Manic depression may experience very similar symptoms to those who are suffering from actual depression. People who are suffering from Manic depression may actually experience episodes showing a depressed state of mind - a feeling of worthlessness and being unloved may start to corrupt the individual's mind. Various symptoms, showing guilt, extreme sadness, anxiety attacks, feeling of not belonging, extreme pessimism and obvious loss for pleasure. According to therapists, an individual who is depressed. consistently for more than a week can officially be diagnosed as someone who is suffering from Manic depression.

In spite of being one of the most common, yet severe type of depressive disorder, Manic depression, according to doctors can actually be treated. There's no reason to worry too much about it, just follow the proper procedures that the therapist will instruct you to do, take the proper prescribed medications as well as the proper dosage in order to help you (or your friend or love one) overcome Manic depression before it becomes too late. Also, individuals who are suffering from Manic depression should always be able to see their therapists on a regular basis so as to be able to release their pent up emotions to some one who can interpret and understand what they're going to a lot better as compared to "normal" people.

Although positive results for a Manic depressive patient can still be achieved from natural alternatives, a proper and a more lasting relief from Manic depressive symptoms can still be best acquired through seeing cognitive behavior therapists. Contrary to some beliefs, when it comes to psychiatric treatments, psychiatrists, preferably cognitive behavior therapists are still the best ones to consult for Manic depression, as well as the ones who'll most probably be able to cure Manic depression.

Erectile Dysfunction and Herbal Viagra Alternatives

2010-05-21T17:02:00.000-04:00

Over ten million men in this country suffer from Erectile Dysfunction (also called impotence)... they experience trouble having and keeping an erection of the penis. Viagra (sildenafil citrate), a prescription drug, has been prescribed by many health care practitioners in response to Erectile Dysfunction.

When a man is sexually aroused, the arteries in the penis widen and relax, allowing increased blood flow into the penis. The arteries in the penis expand, and the veins that normally carry blood away from the penis become compressed, restricting the blood flow out of the penis. With more blood flowing in and less flowing out, the penis enlarges, resulting in an erection.

If the nerves or blood vessels associated with this function aren't working properly, a man may have trouble getting an erection. Viagra increases blood flow to the penis, so that when a man is sexually aroused, he can get and keep an erection.

While Viagra has achieved success in many cases, there are also natural herbal Viagra alternatives available: herbal blends and organic supplements that are available without a prescription. These herbal Viagra alternatives can help achieve increased blood flow to the penis without using a synthetic drug compound... only natural herbal blends and vitamin / mineral combinations.

The 1992 National Institutes of Health Consensus Development Conference recommends use of the term "erectile dysfunction" rather than "impotence," because it more accurately defines the problem and has fewer disparageing connotations.

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Control Your Own Level of Motivation

2010-04-19T10:42:00.000-04:00

100 Ways To Motivate Yourself: Change Your Life Forever When I first mention this to most people, they really don’t get it, so here is a simple formula for keeping your moods upbeat.

Audio books and music can be used as tools for motivation. The audio book is such a great motivational and learning tool, while you are commuting, or just out for a drive by yourself. I mention “by yourself” because, ideally, you should spend quality time with people in your car.

You can learn so much about life and a self-improvement audio book can keep you motivated all day long.

When I first started listening to audio books it was during commuter traffic through Providence and Boston. I would show up to meetings relaxed, with fresh ideas, and motivated. When people asked me the secret, I told them about the magic of audio books.

Most of them never asked me again, thought I was some strange eternal optimist, and never bothered to try an audio book.
Unfortunately, many people are slaves to stress, and don’t want to change anything. They go about their lives with a perfect recipe for a heart attack and high blood pressure.

Here is the ultimate recipe for a very sad and short life. You must combine "running late" to work, high volume traffic, the daily latte, a high stress job, and show up barely on time or late.

Some people are, what I call, “mad at the world.” They drive from one intersection to the next, making gestures at everyone. Some of these people can be helped, while others go through a daily cycle of frustration and even invite violence.

Now, let’s get back to you. As long as you stay aware, you have control over your motivation, moods, and level of optimism. So, take charge by plugging yourself into positive energy with books, audio books, music, and positive people.

10 Common Lies Told by Women

2010-04-07T16:30:00.003-04:00

Why are some relationships more honest than others? Why are some couples more truthful with each other while others like to deceive the partner? Nobody deserves to be lied, but there are no doubts that women are telling lies considerably and often. But so men do the same.

If you have trust issues in your relationship, in general, a woman may lie to you. Trust is something that you must build from the beginning of the relationship. Even though, a lot of people say ‘‘white lies'' in order to make others feel better. Some women lie because, as caring creatures they want to spare the feelings of the man they are dating or seeing.

So, here are some common lies told by women that you should know. Someday you might hear them from your partner and it is better to know their real meaning.

1.You're perfect. I love you just the way you are and I wouldn't change a thing about you. Let's be serious; nobody is perfect. At the beginning of a relationship all of them say this because they didn't know you very well but after some time will definitely find something that needs changed. So, if she tells you something like this, don't be too enthusiastic because she finds you perfect just for a couple of days, and after that she will ask you to change.

2.You're right. Every time you are arguing with you're girlfriend usually ends up by telling you that you are right? Maybe this makes you feel proud of you, but you have to know that this is a big lie. She said this just to make you shut up, even if she didn't consider that you're right. She knows that after a while you will see that she was right, and may be waiting for apologize.

3.Nothing is wrong. The most common lie '' I'm fine'' when asked if there is something wrong is the most used by women. You see that she is upset, she is acting strange or doesn't want to talk to you too much and ask her what is the problem she says that everything is fine. They don't want to tell the real truth but they are expecting that men to figure out that something is wrong and those they had a mistake with something.

4.I do love sports honey. Maybe she agrees to stay and watch with you every week at a football game but this doesn't really mean that she like it. She accepts to do this just to show you that she is different from other girls and you have common interest. You may be thinking that you have found the perfect girl for you, because not many of them would like to stay to watch football, but don't be too happy because after a while she might had enough and get angry every time you sit down to watch a game.

5.I like spending time with your friends. At the beginning this is ok, but not too much. Even if they are good friends of you, she would like to spend more time alone with you and not with your friends. If she didn't tell you already this, she will ask you to keep visits from your buddies at minimum and then she might keep pretending she loves them.

6.Your family is adorable, so I like spending time with your family. The truth? Maybe twice a month. Think about it. Do you really think that she likes to spend time with your family where everybody is criticizing her and watch her every move? She agrees to spend time with your family when is necessary but she doesn't do it with much pleasure even if she is pretending in front of you that she likes them.

7.Your bank account doesn't matter. I hope you didn't believe this. We all know that this is definitely a lie. All women want a guy that is financial stable and independent, a guy that can assure her a future with no financial problems. This doesn't mean that you have to be very rich to have a girlfriend, but you have to have some money.

8.It doesn't bother to me if you look after women or go with your boys at strip-clubs. This is too good to be truth. Even she says that this is ok, she will definitely be upset that you want to go. They hate to feel second best to a night out with the guys, and accept this in order to make themselves seem less pathetically needy. If you choose to go, she will make you a lot of comments after, so you better think twice before you go.

9.You are very good in bed. If she choose to speak about this topic without you ask her, you don't have to believe all she says. If she starts to compliment you about your sexual experience it doesn't mean that she really believes that. Often a woman who cares about a man tell him all that she knows he wants to hear just to make him feel good about himself. So think about your girlfriend, your relationship, your sexual experience and see if you really deserve compliments on this topic.

10.Don't worry, it happens to everyone. If you just make a mistake, or fail in bed, you might hear this lie from your girlfriend. She doesn't want to show you how upset she is on you but in her mind thinks something else. I wouldn't be too sure that your mistake is forgiven and I would worry in not making too many '' accidents'' like these.

With all these presented, now will be more easy for you to know when your girlfriend is lying. As you see, what a woman says is not what she really thinks.

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Great Food for Your Next Backyard Adventure

2010-03-27T11:19:00.001-04:00

Millions of individuals and families retreat to their backyards. While backyards are nice all throughout the year, they are even better in the summertime. To make the most out of your next backyard adventure, you are encouraged to think about what foods, if any, you will have on hand.

When most individuals think of backyards and food, a backyard barbecue often comes to mind. If you and your family are interested in having a backyard barbecue, you will have to decide on the foods in which you would like to cook. If you have a large family or a few picky eaters, you may want to ask your children for suggestions. Suggestions will help to make sure that you have food that everyone will enjoy.

While many families have their own backyard barbecues, there are others who decide to turn their barbecue into a party. If you are interested in having a backyard barbecue party, you may have to purchase a large amount of meat. Whether you are cooking for your family or a large group of people, it may be a good idea to purchase your meats in bulk. Most supermarkets, in the United States, charge less for items purchased in large quantities. If you if you are unable to use all of the meat that you purchased, you should be able to use it on another occasion.

In addition to meat for the grill, it is also important to consider side dishes. If you are having a large gathering, you may find it easier to purchase your side dishes pre-made. Pre-made side dishes, such as macaroni salads and fruit salads, are available for sale at most supermarkets. The only problem that you may find is that pre-made side dishes tend to be more expensive, when compared to preparing them yourself. Therefore, if you are looking to save money or if you only need a small amount of food, you may want to consider preparing your own side dishes.

As previously mentioned, many families have a backyard cookout or barbeque party; however, not everyone does, especially all of the time. Whether you and your family are just interested in playing outside for a short period of time or you aren’t in the mood to cook a large meal, it may still be a good idea to have a collection of snacks on hand. On hand snacks are ideal during the summertime, especially for those who are actively participating in a number of outdoor activities.

Dry snacks are ideal for a number of different backyard activities. Most dry snacks are easy to eat on the go and they rarely ever leave a mess. The only downside to serving dry snacks is most snacks are unhealthy. If you are looking for tasty, but healthy snacks, you may want to examine foods that are low in sugar or low in fat. These items may include, but should not be limited to, fruits, vegetables, sugar free cookies, or low salt chips. Despite what you or your family may believe, many of these healthy snacks are just as good as those that are filled with unhealthy sugar.

One important thing that you must consider, whether you are barbecuing or just having an outdoor snack, is water. Water is important, especially during the summertime. Water, unlike many caffeinated beverages and sugary drinks, is a great way to stay hydrated. Unfortunately, without water many children and adults become dehydrated. Dehydration is a dangerous problem. That is why it is important to have water and other beverages on hand. In addition to traditional water, you or your family may also enjoy the taste of flavored water. For many, flavored water is a healthy, but tasty alternative to traditional drinking water.

By keeping the above mentioned points and suggestions in mind, you and your family are sure to have a fun backyard experience, accompanied by refreshing drinks, great food, or tasty snacks. Whatever the occasion calls for, there are a number of different foods that can help make your next backyard outing one of the best.

Are You Programmed For Success...Or Failure

2010-03-04T10:46:00.004-05:00

Have you ever wondered why some people just have it all? They're well liked by everyone they meet, financially set and attractive…but what stands out most is their beaming sense of self-confidence when they enter a room.

It's almost as if they have a certain "presence" that gives off positive vibes.

Not everyone is this fortunate, however. There are people who are faced with low self worth, they struggle to maintain positive relationships and often feel resentful towards people who are better off than they are.

So what's the difference? How can one person be so incredibly successful while another person constantly struggles just to get by?

The answer lies in what I call your "Invisible Lifestyle." Your Invisible Lifestyle is what made you into the person you are today. You were literally "programmed" with the habits and beliefs that you follow today (or refuse to follow).

So who were the programmers?

Look no further than your very own parents or guardians.

It's true. Your parents unknowingly “programmed” you to become the person you are today. The reason I say 'unknowingly' is because your parents raised you the best they could based on how their parents raised THEM.
Because of the "brain wiring" of your original programmers (your parents), as an adult, you are duplicating the way they lived when you were young.

For example, let's say you were raised in a household where both of your parents were always there for you. They took an interest and encouraged you in everything you pursued.

You grew up seeing your parents work hard every day, take interest in you and treat each other with respect. As a result, you grew up to have a successful career and a happy marriage because you worked hard and treated your spouse with respect…just like your parents.

Now let's look at another scenario…

Imagine a life where you grew up in a neglectful household. Your parents never encouraged you or took an interest in anything you did…EVER.

Your father had a negative outlook on life because of HIS traumatic childhood so all he knew how to do was raise YOU the same way that his father raised HIM.

As a result, you grew up with a negative outlook on life (just like your dad), and you have low self esteem because nobody took the time to encourage you and take an interest in you as a child.

Is this YOUR fault? NO! Of course not!

You did not ask to be "dropped" into your parents' household. That is the “hand” you were dealt in life and now, as an adult, you're living out the consequences.

In these two scenarios, you're living out what I call "Invisible Lifestyle A".

A stands for "ALWAYS"

"What you didn't notice your parents doing as a child, you are faithfully reproducing today, and you don't have a clue you're doing it."

But there IS one exception to this phenomenon…

Let's say you grew up in a bad neighborhood with an alcoholic father. Everywhere you looked, you saw poverty, crime and hopelessness. As a child, you couldn't wait to move out of the house. You saw your parents' lifestyle and were DETERMINED to not only be successful, but be NOTHING LIKE YOUR PARENTS.

While you were growing up, you took the necessary steps to put yourself through school and as an adult; you have a positive self image and do everything within your power to remain financially stable.

This is known as Invisible Lifestyle B.
B stands for "BUCKING"

"What you couldn't stand your parents doing when you grew up; you won't stand for in your relationships today."

Those who embrace the "B" Lifestyle, do so in defiance of their family's values. The B Lifestyle can create the "black sheep of the family" and that goes for highly troubled families or very successful ones.

Invisible Lifestyle B has taken place when an inner city boy or girl goes on to pursue a successful career as a lawyer while each of their siblings end up in jail. On the other hand, a child from a wealthy family could go against his parents' values by recklessly spending and eventually filing for bankruptcy as an adult.

Now I'm not telling you to place BLAME on your parents. Your parents raised you based on everything they knew at the time. It's ALL they knew. It's not their fault…it's NOBODY'S "FAULT".

The key is to understand and accept the fact that the negative values you absorbed from your parents (i.e., fear of failure, low self worth, jealousy) are programs literally "wired" into your brain.

And if you have enough discontent with these, it is very possible to change that programming in your adult life.

But simply knowing this is not enough.

You must find these programs and learn how to "decommission" them. In other words, you need to know what to do and how to do it, especially if these programs seem to dictate your behavior.

Do you do things over and over that other people might call "self sabotage"?

Are you attracted to a certain type of person you know you shouldn't be around, yet you can't help but feel attracted to?

The source of this behavior is one or two negative programs from your childhood.

These programs will prevent you (or your loved ones) from a better life.

If your parents' programmed you with some negative values that are causing you problems in your life today…it's NOT your fault…but it IS your responsibility to do something about it.

You can start by thinking about how each situation in your life today is directly affected by your Invisible Lifestyle.

The more you discuss your childhood memories of the way things were, the more you become consciously aware of them and the easier they will be to "decommission".

Over an entire lifetime, most people will not make the connection between their behavior as an adult and how their parents lived during their childhood.

They will accept their parent's values without questioning anything, never knowing the REAL reason they continue to make the same mistakes over and over again.

But now YOU know better than that. Don't live your life with a blindfold on. Create a better future by first identifying and then eliminating the values from your parents that are causing you trouble today.

Creating the Perfect Goals for Success

2010-03-03T12:45:00.002-05:00

Why do we need goals? We need them so that we know where we want to go towards, right? Without goals, we are basically wandering around in the darkness hoping that we reach the right place. But, we also use goals as a motivational tool to give us that boost of energy to work towards them.

If you ask any motivational speaker, one of the key points they will tell you to achieve success is to write down your goals. Well, that's not the whole story though. Just writing them down doesn't give you that energy boost that you need to achieve success but I'll tell you my secret to goal setting.

First, you have to start dreaming again and not the dreams that you have when you sleep at night, but the dreams that you had when you were kids like, "I wanna live in a mansion when I grow up." Don't be afraid to dream big because odds are, if you dream big but only reach half way, that's still half way farther than if you didn't dream at all.

Ok, so let's talk about your mansion. Just writing down a mansion in your Goals list isn't enough. Write down details. What kind of architecture would it be? Would it be a fairy tale type of castle? Would it be an Italian Villa? How many bedrooms? What about an indoor pool?

Another secret to goal setting is to find images of some of the things you want so that you can picture them clearly in your mind. It gives your goals a sense of realism than if you were to just think about the word "mansion." Find some pictures of Italian Villas or indoor pools or whatever it is that you want and just imagine yourself in there.

For me, I'm a car guy so I've got a few cars on my list. Right now, I drive a BMW M3 but that's not enough. Like I said, you have to dream big if you want to hit it big so I've got Porches, more BMW's, and even Ferrari's on my list. I've saved images of these cars onto my computer and even set a couple of them as my desktop images on both my monitors. I know the colors I want and all the options that each car provides. It makes it much more real when you get down to the details.

So, you can start with making a list of your goals but you need to go farther. Get into the details. Find images. Picture yourself owning those items already. Doing this will only help you in whatever venture you choose to go with.

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3 Things You Must Have to Make Lots of Money Fast

2010-02-23T17:25:00.002-05:00

Where ever you are presently in your life you can begin to make large amounts of money very fast if you understand a few simple principles. Despite what anyone may tell you these principles of generating money fast do work.

These principles are not difficult but in order to understand them you must process them. You must take the time to give them some thought, until the thought becomes a part of your very being.

How to make money fast is one of the hot topics on everyone’s mind. Most people will tell you that claims of making fast money is a hokes. Those are the very people who believe that only hard work and struggle can create money. However despite the hard work, the concept of fast money is still not part of the equation. After all if you are working very hard you are unlikely to be making the sort of fast money that you would dream of.

I can tell you from first hand experience that fast money does not come through hard work. If you are marketing your business or interested in accumulating more money struggling will only kill your changes of getting money in a fast and easily way.

--The First Step--

The first think you need in order to make fast money is to have a clear goal. How much do you want? You would be so surprise at how many people want more money but don’t have a clear idea as to how much they want.

Without a clear goal your desire is just a wish, it is not concrete. Be specific about how much money you want and by when you would like to have it.

--The Second Step—

The very next step is to take inspired action. Inspired action comes from the universe as a nudge. It’s the perfect idea, job or business that will help you in getting your goal accomplished.

It makes no sense trying to do something that your neighbor or your coworker tried. What is an ideal opportunity to make fast money for them may not be ideal for you. Besides your goals are unique and the opportunities that are rightfully aligned for you are rightfully suited for you to reach your goal in the time that you desire.

--The Third Step—

The third most powerful step is to have a clear and bright vision of your goal. This is where most people fail. Most people get caught up in fear and worry that their goal will not be able to materialize and spend lots of wasted time holding back on their actions.

How many times have you been offered a great idea which you may have promised to do but allowed your fears to get in the way?

You must be able to hold your vision in such a way as to feed it with your own personal powerful intention that your vision will materializes money a lot faster than usual.

Many people who understand the power of holding a clear vision have gone on to make money very fast again and again. Those are the ones who deeply understood the precise way. With a little time and your deep desire you can literally suck money to you faster.

Over the years I can honestly say that I have tested all these theories and without fail they work in generating money faster than if I did not practice these methods.

8 Types Of Women To Avoid Dating

2010-02-23T10:39:00.003-05:00

A recent survey revealed that fifty two percent of men date for intimacy. Men are looking for that “someone” to get romantically involved with and a potential mate for life.

There are women that a man should avoid dating. Here are signs to watch out for:

1. The overly feminist. This type of woman assumes and believes man is the cause of all the pains and suffering of a society. It is her strong belief that women are much more intelligent than men and are capable of doing things “the correct way”.

Men would not want to spend some time with these types of women, anything that a man will do will always be negative to them. They can never be pleased by a man.

2. The material girl. She is just after the money! These types of women are “high maintenance”. They not just expect, but often demand that a man should finance all her luxuries in life. To her, the man has the responsibility to pay for dinners, drinks, trips, jewelry, flowers etc. while she absolutely feels compulsion or guilt to reciprocate.

Simply put, she is a prostitute in disguise. She is a greedy person, having no perception of the feelings of others and her only concern is achieving and obtaining things that she wants. Never be fooled; some appear to be really nice at first, until they know that you would do anything for them. Then the asking for material things starts!

3. The hopeless romantic. These women live inside a perfect world of romance in novels, where love and relationships are perfect and her night and shining armor will always come and they will live happily ever after.
She has always been pampered by her and considered a "princess," thus have no idea that what the real life is. She will expect the man to take care of her constantly and that all her wishes be given; if not, she can turn out to be a screaming nag.

4. The angry girl. Similar to the feminist, she actually hates men. They often look down on men accounting a long list of all the injustice and transgressions of every guy that they shared a relationship with. To her, all men are "creeps", "pigs." and jerks. These women have boiling rage at men that can, at any given moment explode.

5. The insecure Miss. They will seem to be very pleasant, loving and accommodating at first, treating men very well. Later, when all her innermost insecurities go up the surface, she can be annoyingly calling the man she is dating at least ten times a day, asking where are you, or that she just missed your voice.

This woman demands frequent and persistent reassurance that you love her and you find her attractive; because of this insecurity, she worries continuously about her hair, make up, clothes etc. She can be clingy, needing constant attention and insistently torments you with her thoughts that you will leave her soon if you find someone better.

6. The abstract or elusive type. She is romantic but with a mysteriously dark side. She has been hurt in past relationships and has not gone over it. These bad experiences drive her to subconsciously stay way from or damage her new relationship.

She will be very frustrating to deal with, as at first, she will show a lot of interest with the man, however runs away very quickly; she will repeat this cycle again and again. She will date and flirt with the man, but will insist that they both remain as friends.

7. The desperate Miss. She is desperate to get married. She does not even choose to know the man; she just wants to trap him and bring him to the nearest altar!

8. The controlling type. She can be very nasty in a very subtle way, but when given the opportunity, will direct each phase of a man’s life. She will always have a “say” as to what the man wears, where must the man go, who should the man talk to, who can a man have as friends, what a man can and can not eat; as in everything! The man can not insist on his own rights or else, there will be no sex, a lot of crying, screaming, pouting and everything just so the man will give in.

To all men, be careful!

A Great Way To Generate All The Motivation You Need To Get Fit

2010-02-07T09:27:00.002-05:00

If you're having trouble getting motivated to keep to your fitness program ... or if you haven't even got off the starting block yet, this article could change your life! Not completely ... that would be too ambitious! But, there's a tiny, inexpensive device that can provide you with all the motivation you need to get out and start moving your body around a bit more.

The pedometer, as it's known, can also make you WANT to do it and can even get you to ENJOY doing it!

What ... ? ENJOY exercising??? Surely some mistake?

Well, no actually. Please read on.

1. So, what is a pedometer?

It's a small, compact device used for measuring the number of steps taken.

And, as well as measuring the number of steps taken when exercising in your local neighborhood, it can also measure your steps whilst you're climbing the stairs, mowing the lawn, or doing the shopping.

2. How Does It Work?

It's small enough to clip to your belt and is fitted with a pendulum which measures one step each time your foot makes contact with the ground.

3. How Much Does It Cost?

Many pedometers have been given away FREE as part of campaigns by local health authorities to get people moving their bodies more.

If you can't find such a campaign in your area, you can buy a pedometer with a reasonable number of features for as little as $20.

4. What Exactly Does It Do?

You should buy a model which, at the very least, measures the number of steps taken, calories burned, distance walked, speed you've been walking and how long your routine has taken.

More expensive models may include any or all of the following additional features:

- a soothing voice to tell you how many steps you've taken
- a pulse monitor
- a stopwatch
- a radio and headphones so you can listen to your favorite radio station whilst out walking
- a step filter to achieve greater accuracy
- a back light so you can see your pedometer in the dark.

5. How Do I Set Up My Pedometer?

First you need to enter your height, weight and average stride length.

To arrive at your stride length, most instruction guides prompt you to measure out a distance of, say 10 meters, and to count the number of steps you take to cover it. Divide this number by the overall distance and this gives your average stride length.

Once it's set up, just follow the instructions to activate the settings you want to use, clip your pedometer to your belt and you're ready to go.

6. How Do I Take Readings?

At any point after you've started your routine, you can stop, flip open the pedometer and take a reading. Of course, you shouldn't do this too often as this will interrupt the rhythm of your walk.

But you can get an idea of the progress you're making by checking the number of steps taken, the distance you've traveled, the calories you've burned and so on. You'll be able to go from one measurement to the next at the press of a button.

7. How Does This Provide Me More Motivation?

The great thing about wearing a pedometer is that you begin to think about the number of steps you've taken towards your daily target.

This gets you into a 'walking mindset' and you suddenly start to identify lots of new walking opportunities.

If you had to be dragged kicking and screaming to take up a fitness routine, the pedometer is the single most important device you can use to start enjoying your workouts.

It's so easy to use and it can transform the way you feel about getting fit. It can take you from resisting the whole idea of doing a daily workout, to your really looking forward to it and wanting to do it more.

Why?

Because, after using it for a while, you begin to realize that your daily targets are not only achievable but, with a bit more effort, can be easily surpassed.

Something you thought was going to be such a grind becomes easy, because you know you can do it!

Did you ever think that was possible?

Well it is. Just get hold of your pedometer and keep wearing it. It can have a really positive effect on your fitness and health.

How To Be More Attractive: Gotta Have Sense Of Humor

2010-01-13T10:20:00.001-05:00

Men having great sense of humor ranked number three as being a personality trait that attracts women on survey results conducted by several magazines. Topping the survey is physical appearance and number two, financial stability.

Laughing can be very beneficial to one’s health, according to researchers. And a great sense of humor, which creates laughter, can make a lot of difference specially when dating women.

A lot of women see a guy with a great sense of humor very attractive mainly because it makes the conversation a lot lighter, it makes them laugh and dating a man who is very serious in his outlook in life makes the conversation heavy and can become very boring, according to studies, among two hundred college students.

The same study indicated that women like intelligent men and a great sense of humor is linked to intelligence, as a man with wits can think fast, able to produce a joke instantly that is suitable to the situation is clever indeed and is no “non-sense”.

Indeed, “laughter is the best medicine”. Considerable research and studies have proved that laughter and humor benefits the body as well as the emotion. It boost the “immune system”, reduces stress, relax the muscles, “lowers blood pressure”, increases pain tolerance and hastens the process of healing. No wonder women feel so good being with a man with great sense of humor!

Men having good sense of humor are always cheerful. To them, each day is sunny. Should dark clouds appear, they depend on laughter, confident that all problems will pass and instead of being discouraged, they move on with so much hope.

Even if a man is not really that attractive physically, but with a great sense of humor, women are usually drawn to him. Why? Because according to most women in a survey result, they are more at ease with these types of men, as they make the women laugh and as a result, let them feel that they can open up almost anything; a man with a great sense of humor encourages the woman to be confident.

Generally, men with a sense of humor have so much spunk in life. Not only can they come up with a joke unrehearsed, but also can take a joke.

Here are ways to sharpen and improve your sense of humor:

1. Encourage an environment of laughter and humor in the relationship that you have by concentrating on the comical or funny side of things and delighting in the laughter that they bring to mind. Then, you will soon begin to see humor in things that you do, including the problems that may come and handle them without stress in your relationship.

2. When you feel that you do not laugh that much and you feel that you should correct this, associate yourself with fun loving and humorous people. Try to go to happy places and you and your partner can engage in fun and lively activities.

3. Try laughing at yourself and at the situations around you. Many individuals are not able to laugh because they are insecure of themselves and because of personal fears. Often, they are scared to look silly in front of others and give the impression to be foolish, according to psychiatrists. It is essential to become conscious that all people make or commit mistakes and it is when you put up a pleasant laugh can make such mistake appear human.

4. Read on humorous books and collect clean jokes. Then when the need arises, there is always a joke ready to lighten up someone else’s day!

5. So as to neutralize disagreement in your relationship, use humor. When things in your relationship get uptight, “self deprecating humor” can lighten things. “Self-deprecating humor” encourages humility and nurtures courage, needed to take off the mask that one wears when insecure and uncovers one's weakness to his partner.

Having sense of humor in your relationship will add so much zest, help it become rewarding and can help both partners see life in a different perspective. A more carefree, cheerful and positive relationship will prosper as a result of a happy disposition between couples.

Healthy Grief, Unhealthy Grief

2009-12-29T11:48:00.000-05:00

We all know that it is in one’s highest good to grieve the loss of a relationship. Healthy grief releases feelings rather than allowing them to get stuck in the body. Healthy grief allows the griever to heal the loss and move on with life.

Yet grief is not always healing. Many of us have known people who were stuck in their grief, seemingly locked into the past and unable to move forward in their lives.

What is the difference between those who feel their grief and move on and those who get stuck in it? The difference lies in what they believe they have lost. When people believe they have lost their source of love, their grief will feel unending.

Gary had been in a three-year relationship with Samantha when Samantha decided to end the relationship. Gary was devastated. In this relationship, like in his past relationships, Gary was a taker – always trying to get love but unable to give love or share love. Samantha gave him a lot of love, but she often felt very lonely with him. Gary was devastated when she left because his source of love was gone. He was not grieving the loss of Samantha as a person he loved. He was grieving the loss of her love for him. He was grieving as a lost wounded child rather than as a loving adult.

As a result, Gary became stuck in his grief. He was stuck in feeling like a victim – stuck in “poor me.” Gary had never done the inner work to develop an adult part of himself that could bring love to himself and share it with others. He felt lost, abandoned, and hurt. No matter how much he cried, no healing occurred. Because he was abandoning himself, he just continued to feel alone and despairing. Sometimes he was angry at Samantha for abandoning him and other times he was angry at himself for not being a better partner. He had many regrets that plagued him, and a constant inner refrain was, “If only I had……” “If only I had listened to her more, maybe she wouldn’t have left.” If only I had told her how beautiful she is, maybe she wouldn’t have left.”

Frank, on the other hand, was in deep grief over the death of his beloved wife, Beth. He had loved Beth with his whole heart and he missed her terribly. Yet Frank’s grief was totally different than Gary’s grief. Frank missed Beth’s laugh. He missed her joy, her caring for people, her sense of wonder. He missed her as a person, and he missed being able to share his love with her. Frank had no regrets because he had not been a taker. He had loved Beth totally and was deeply grateful for the time he had with her. But Frank was actually fine. His grief came in waves, and he cried when it came. Then it washed through and he was fine again.

Frank was fine because Beth had not been the source of his sense of self. Frank had a strong loving inner adult who was connected with a spiritual source of love and wisdom. This was his Source, not Beth. Frank was a person who took full responsibility for his own pain and joy. He had never made Beth responsible for his feelings or his wellbeing.
Because he had never abandoned himself, he could miss Beth and grieve for her without feeling abandoned, lost, victimized and alone.

Gary, on the other hand, was not fine, no matter how much sadness he released, because Samantha had been his Source of love, his Higher Power. He had handed to her the job of defining his sense of self, so when she left, all he could feel was abandoned. Gary had handed his Inner Child – his feeling self – to Samantha. He had made Samantha responsible for his feelings, so when she left, he felt like an abandoned child. His Source of love had gone away.

Because Frank knew how to love himself, he knew how to love others. Within a couple of years, Frank was in another loving relationship.

Gary found another relationship within six months of losing Samantha, and six months after that was again alone. Until Gary decides to learn to take responsibility for his own feelings and needs, he will likely continue to lose relationship after relationship, and continue to be stuck in feeling like a victim of the women in his life.

Acknowledge Your Depression

2009-12-28T11:37:00.001-05:00

Depression is an illness and needs to be acknowledged as such. It is not a reason to be ashamed. The reason so many people fail to seek help for their depression is that they are ashamed. Unfortunately, this is one of the feelings associated with depression anyway and makes the illness difficult to acknowledge.

If you are constantly feeling particularly low, well-meaning friends might tell you to “snap out of it” or even start to get irritated by your mood. Your depression will feed off this negativity and you start to wonder why you can’t just “snap out of it”. You then start to feel that there’s something wrong with you because it should be so easy and it’s just “not right” that you feel so bad all the time. Well, it’s not right and there is something wrong with you. You have a medical condition and you deserve treatment in the same way as any other patient. If you had a cold for six months would you ignore it and hope it would pass? No, you would dose yourself up with anything you could find and maybe see a doctor to find out if there’s an underlying reason for it to last so long.

Depression is sadness that lasts too long. Everyone is sad at some point in their lives but depression is more than that. It is a feeling that you can’t bring yourself up from the bottom. In the end you give up trying. People start to avoid you. You feel worse. You need to find external help to treat the problem in the same way as you would if you had a long-lasting cold. You could try herbal remedies – there are some in your pharmacy – or you could see your doctor. There may be an underlying physical cause for your depression.

If your doctor cannot help you they may refer you for counselling. Don’t be embarrassed to go for counselling but do make sure you are comfortable with your counsellor. If not, try another one. Counselling should not be discounted because you don’t feel comfortable with your first choice of practitioner. In everyday life you will naturally find that you get on with some people and clash with others. You cannot afford to have a personality clash with your counsellor. On the other hand you must be sure that it is a personality clash and not just that you don’t agree with what they are saying. A general rule is to go with your instincts. If you like the person and seemed to get on well in the first couple of sessions then stick with it because they might just have touched on the root cause of your problem.

In some cases, acknowledging depression may be difficult because you have lived with it so long that you don’t know whether it is depression or not. If you have grown up with depression it is possible not to realise that you are actually depressed because you have no concept of how normal people should feel. You may feel angry all the time or you may feel like going to the middle of an empty field and simply screaming. You may feel anxious, have trouble sleeping or even sleep too much. You may think that your family would be better off without you (and actually believe that to be true) and may have considered running away or suicide. You may worry about death all the time (yours or someone else’s) and not let yourself be happy just in case…… (or even “I must enjoy this now in case………..”). If you are feeling any or all of the above then you need to consider talking to someone. Even if it is just a friend or family member to start with, they may be able to advise you and encourage you to seek professional help.

Once you have acknowledged that you have depression please remember that it is a medical condition and can be cured. You don’t have to feel this way for ever. Nobody actually thinks of you the way you think they do. Talk to someone. Seek and accept help and you will find that there is a different way of seeing life.

10 Proven Tips To Get What You Want!

2009-12-23T08:09:00.000-05:00

Are you stuck?!

Are you trying hard to achieve your simplest dreams but you seem to be standing on the same square without moving a step forward?

Now, I will give you the super-smart proven success recipe that will help you get what you want faster and easier than before. This success recipe is your way to live a purposeful life and achieve your goals.

Get ready to unleash the power of your dreams.

1. Make Meaning!!

Make a meaning for your life and work. Do what you love and love what you do. Search for ways to live with passion. You are unique and you are here for a purpose. Find the reason of your existence. Describe your role in life in 3 or 4 words. Forget about these long, general and not memorable mission statements. Be very specific about what you are here to do in this life.

2. Have a Hot Vision!!

Have a HOT vision; a vision that really inspires you and triggers your greatness. Your vision must be clear and motivates you to transform it into reality. Make it hot. A hot vision gives you a tremendous amount of enthusiasm that makes you can’t stand still. Have a hot vision that keeps you alive and spices up your life. Have a hot vision that makes you an unstoppable achievement machine.

3. Design Milestones

Milestones are big goals and turning points in your journey. They are like indicators along the road to tell you that you are on the right track. Each milestone is a big achievement on your way to your ideal life.

4. Set Goals

Goals are small and specific tasks that define your action plan. Goals must be specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and timely. Each goal is a step towards achieving one of your big milestones.

5. Get Going

Take action. The only difference between an average individual and a super successful one is taking action. Get going. Take the first step and keep the momentum. Just start. Be flexible to changes and improvements.

6. Project Positive Energy

Be optimistic. Broadcast powerful positive energy and confidence over your own media network. Positive energy will attract positive results and opportunities. Become a magnet that attracts success 24/7. You will always receive the energy you project. If you project positive energy you will receive multiples of it and vice versa.

7. Act As If It Is Happening

Act as if your vision is happening. Act as if you will never fail. Act with confidence and power. Keep your vision in front of your mind’s eye day and night. Act as if you are living your vision. When you do that you will attract more opportunities and more success to your life.

8. Ignore the Doubters

Avoid negative people. They don’t have dreams and want everyone to be like them. They are dream robbers and energy vampires. Don’t care about what they say. Ignore anyone’s negativity and focus on what you want.

9. Face Fear and Uncertainty

Develop confidence and trust in yourself. If you don’t believe in yourself and your dreams no one will do. Face your fears. Fear will do nothing except stopping you from getting what you want. Let your dreams give you the power to face fear and uncertainty.

10. Create a Master Mind!!

Find a team with the same interests and dreams then work and think together. Have a soul mate who cares about achieving the same level of success as you do. Gather around yourself people more brilliant than you. Develop a strong network of influencers who can help you get what you want easily and quickly.

My friend, these 10 proven tips form the best success recipe I have ever known. I used this recipe to achieve levels of success that I always dreamt of. These are the common tips which are used by the top successful people in the world.

Follow this success recipe and you will become a huge success magnet that attracts success beyond your imagination.

It is all about your action. Do it now!!

A New Years Resolution To Stop Smoking – How To Keep To It Beyond Jan 2nd?

2009-12-12T16:34:00.002-05:00

So, here you are again. Seeing out the old year, along with its broken promises and failed, good intentions.

You arrive, fresh with newly found conviction, after the excesses of the Christmas period, at the New Year’s resolution, an annual triumph of hope over reality!

Hope, that this time you will have the single mindedness to succeed, where last time you failed. I’m not suggesting for a moment that you do not want to succeed, I’m sure that your desire to stop smoking is genuine, but here’s the reality, it’s a hope, a dream and what’s the point in having dreams if you’re not going to make them happen?

You may dream of winning the lottery and yes, you could win! But it’s down to chance and you have a better chance of flying to the moon, than of winning the lottery.

Making a real change to your life? Well that’s a dream you can, make happen! And you can start right here, right now.

The problem with New Year resolutions lies in the forward planning. Moving towards a significant target date in your life, to contemplate doing something that you know is going to be a struggle, makes it even harder to live up to your own expectations.

Of course you’re not looking forward to it! What do you expect? As you begin to experience a steady build-up of tension, leading up to the big day when you’re finally going to start putting right everything that’s wrong with your life!

No pressure there then! I’m sure you’ll feel ready to start on that day!

In the meantime of course, you now have the perfect excuse to behave badly, because it doesn’t really matter if you let yourself go over Christmas does it? You can do everything to excess. It won’t really matter! After all, you deserve to have one last binge before the deprivations of the coming year ahead!

If you believe that, then you’re delusionary. You’re just fooling yourself because it makes you feel better at the moment. It’s the high, before the deep low that will inevitably follow and damage your self-esteem, sabotaging your chance of success even before you start.

Wake up and smell the coffee!!

Do you really want to stop smoking? Then do something about it, NOW!
Clear the house of all the things that you know will prevent you, NOW!
Do not put aside an emergency packet “just in case”, that’s just planning for failure!
No “last one for old times sake”
Do it NOW – as you read this article.
Don’t put it off until tomorrow, because tomorrow never comes!

How we think and feel about ourselves is often the difference between happiness and success, or frustration and failure, therefore success and real lasting changes, only comes from changing the way we think. We are all products of our own thinking.

So, every thought we think has an impact on us. We respond to our negative thoughts and to our positive thoughts. If you have a history of failing to live up to your own expectations, your memories are loaded with negative programming.

No matter how much conscious effort you put into changing your habits, your subconscious mind is flooding your body with negative messages that have been ingrained for years.

You can however, change the way you think about stopping smoking using the help of hypnotherapy DVD’s.
Many people trying to give up smoking, struggle to maintain willpower. They feel that they need help and are often too embarrassed to admit to anyone that they have a problem. Now, many sufferers of low motivation and low confidence and self-esteem, are benefiting from hypnotherapy treatment, which can literally change peoples lives for the better.

Your life will improve if you begin to believe in yourself and your abilities, you will feel respected, giving you that extra boost to increase motivation, and your enthusiasm will increase noticeably. Some people say it feels like magic because it is so easy to make powerful changes. Hypnotherapy simply allows you to access the resources you already have in your subconscious mind.

Desire to make changes is good. Taking action to start something is even better. Let’s assume that you’ve decided right now, to start making the changes that you want. If you have tried before and failed, you need a support structure put into place as quickly as possible, to help you to maintain your resolve and to keep your thought processes focused on your goals. A hypnotherapy DVD program for home use can help. You certainly don’t want to be obsessing about smoking all the time.

You can succeed and you can quit smoking for good. You will have success this time if you make sure that you put an effective support system into place as soon as possible.
What’s stopping you from stopping?

So, don’t wait to make any New Year resolutions at midnight on the 31st of December, decide to start making the changes that you want to make in your life, RIGHT NOW!

Do something different this time.

A Change will do you Good

2009-12-10T09:30:00.002-05:00

As the last rays of summer’s warmth ebb away and the gentle breezes of autumn waft themselves upon us, we recognize once again, that change is inevitable. Nature is constantly changing and yet, so many people have the notion that change is frightening.

People are creatures of habit and some find it difficult to adjust to changes that are certain to come our way. Life is like an old, comfortable pair of shoes. We may realize that we need new ones and we may even find new ones we really like, but, we know that changing will cause us discomfort for a little while until we break them in.

Sometimes we need to realize that life isn’t always easy. What may be better for us is not what we are used to, but it is certainly worth the trouble of breaking in new habits and lifestyle changes.

Change does not have to be painful. Just look to nature and it will give you clues to how change can be effortless. The beautifully colored autumn leaves do not hang on to the old tree for dear life. No, they yield to the changes with ease and float gently off the tree.

With the coming of autumn we have been busy in our gardens pulling up the old stuff and getting ready for a time of rest. We know that the ground must rest and next year there will be more wonderful things in our garden to delight us.

Are there things in your life that need to be gently eased out of your life? Maybe there are bad relationships or habits or thoughts that need to be weeded out of your life. Don’t be afraid to do a little gardening in your own life.

Every gardener knows that unless we get to the roots, we really are not getting rid of the problem. It may go away for awhile but unless we get to the root, it will sneak back into the garden very quickly.

Although the harvest time is here there is no time to stop weeding the garden of our minds. This garden needs constant attention in order for us to flourish and be all that we can be. The only way to keep this garden in top shape is to make sure that no weeds are there trying to strangle any good we are trying to do. The weeds of our mind, of course are negative thoughts that like to creep in and keep us from achieving that which we are striving for.

William James said, “Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.

How do we change the inner attitudes of our minds? By changing the way we think. We must put fear and negativity behind us. How, you ask? Just as the leaves of autumn gently blow from the tree, don’t try and make a change in your thinking over night and expect to get instant results. We cannot rip these thoughts out of our minds, as much as we would like to sometimes. No, we need to be gentle on ourselves and let positive thoughts replace the negative.

Yes it will take some work on your part. You must constantly fill your mind with positive thoughts. Proverbs 27: 3 says, As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. We are what we think. When the negative thoughts come into your mind, you must be ready and willing to replace those thoughts with positive ones. Just say to yourself, no, I won’t let that thought take over my mind, I will think positively. Affirmations are good to have readily available so you can replace the negative thought with the positive one. It won’t be easy, it won’t be hard either, it will just be different, like that new pair of shoes we were talking about earlier.

The autumn leaves fall to make way for new life. We too must go through changes that will bring new growth to our bodies, souls and spirits.

Change is inevitable, so why fight it? Why be afraid of it? Yes, change will require us to do a bit of readjusting but it is always worth it. Don’t be afraid of change, a change will do you good.

Having A Creative Imagination

2009-12-05T10:32:00.003-05:00

Creative imagination is more than just active imagination. To be able to actively imagine things, to see and hear things in one's mind, is an important ability. It doesn't have to involve much creativity, though, does it? Daydreaming, for example, is a process of imagination. It can consist of an elaborate fantasy world, but one full of all the things that many people think about.

Creative imagination, then, has to include the ability not just to imagine things, but to imagine original things. It is seeing things that others don't see, and coming up with new ideas. So how do you cultivate this?

Creative Imagination 101

First, exercise your basic imagination. It can be as simple as thinking in pictures more, or listening to music in your mind. Play little "movies" in your mind, until you can watch them on command. This is a simple process, but for those of us that can't easily do it naturally, it can take a lot of practice. Fortunately, it is not an unpleasant activity.

The second part of developing your creative imagination is to get more creative in your thinking and imagining. Start by paying attention to your creativity. Our subconscious minds give us more of what we pay attention to. Ignore creative aspects of your life, and you're telling your subconscious they are unimportant. On the other hand, if you note when you're creative, your subconscious mind will start feeding you more creative ideas.

Different surroundings can also encourage your creativity. Want more creativity in your love life? Hike up a mountain with your partner. Do you write? Try sitting on a roof to write. Want new ideas for your business? Take a notebook to the park and sit by the duck pond. A change of environment can get your thinking out of it's ruts.

You can play games that exercise your creative imagination. One such game uses a technique called "concept combination." Alone or with other players, you combine random concepts or things in new ways, to see who has the best idea. A thermometer and a billboard, for example, could generate an idea for a sign that checks the weather and adjusts the message accordingly ("Come in out of the heat for a cold beverage," or "Come in out of the rain and warm up with our gourmet coffee.").

Don't Wait For Creative Imagination

Creative inspiration certainly can strike at any time, but it strikes more often when there is work instead of waiting. So if you want to come up with creative inventions, start mentally redesigning everything you see. Imagine a better bicycle, a faster mail service, or a better chair. Continue this for three weeks, and it will become a habit.

Of course, creative imagination goes beyond solving specific problems or inventing things. Truly creative minds are always coming up with the questions too, not just the solutions. If you want to be more creative all the time, focus on three things:

1. Changing your perspective. A child might think that working just to not work (to retire) is silly. Thinking from that perspective might give you ideas for how to make money doing things you enjoy. Seeing the world as a bear sees it might give a painter imaginative new ideas. Looking at things from a customer's perspective is a sure way to find creative improvements for a business. See everything from several perspectives.

2. Challenging your assumptions. What if restaurants didn't have employees? Visitors pay a machine as they enter, feed themselves at a buffet, and everything is as automated as possible, so one owner-operator could run a large restaurant alone. Challenge all your assumptions for practice. Do you really have to pay rent? Do swimming pools need water? Can exercise be a bad thing?

3. Let your ideas run wild. Does a flying bed seem silly? It could lead to the concept of a helium mattress. When you get off it in the morning, it floats out of the way, up to the ceiling. Perfect for small apartments. Don't stifle your creativity. Relax, and let ideas come. You can always discard them later.

For these techniques to be a habitual part of your thinking, use them regularly. Since it takes several weeks to develop a habit, remind yourself to use them each day. Jot a few of your favorite techniques on a card and carry it with you. Look it over throughout the day and apply the techniques to anything. Soon, you'll have a more creative imagination.

9 Steps To Living Abundantly

2009-12-05T10:13:00.003-05:00

Many of us are bowed down by life – stressed, short of time, tired, on a treadmill, knowing that this isn’t the way to live, but not knowing how to free ourselves up to live more fully, more abundantly. There are simple things we can do – they don’t take time or money – they take a change of attitude. Here are 9 of them:

1. Being totally financially honest – if you are not, this implies that there is not enough for you to have everything you need without dishonesty.

2. Creating a vacuum so that more good things can flow into it – don’t fill your life up with things you don’t really want. Ask yourself if you want each thing before you buy it. Don’t have abundant rubbish, live abundantly by seeking out the things and experiences that work for you in your core being.

3. Tithing is often associated with religion, but it is also possible to tithe in a non-religious context. This seems a really important aspect of living abundantly – every time you freely give money away, you are implying that you are confident that more will come – this is a BIG positive affirmation with a lot of power behind it. The traditional amount is 10% of your income. I’ve recommended this to lots of people, and they’ve told me that when they do this – magically - they seem to have more. I started with 10% but now I’ve increased it, because I’ve seen that the more I give away the more I get back, and the happier and more abundantly I live.

4. Being grateful for what you already have – focusing on the good that is already in your life. It’s easy to think about what you don’t have, but spend some time each day thinking about what you do have. Start each day by thinking of 5 things that you are grateful for – and express this out loud.

5. Resentment, jealousy, envy and self-pity interfere with the free-flow of abundance. If you are jealous or envious of someone, it implies that what they have is not available for you to have also. If you find it difficult to let go of these feelings, Bach flower remedies may help. Try the emedy ‘willow’ to counteract resentment and self-pity, or try ‘holly’ for envy, jealousy and greed.

6. Forgiving those that have wronged you is part of living abundantly. Holding on to your anger, however justifiable it may seem, keeps you stuck in the past, rather than going forward into a better future. If it’s difficult to let go of your negative feelings, try writing a letter expressing all your anger, hurt or envy. Write until you can write no more, and then burn it.

7. Being able to receive from other people. Being able to receive is healthy, but many people find it difficult. You may need to practice receiving. Think of the pleasure you get in giving. By not receiving generously you are denying other people the pleasure of giving.

8. Realize that in general ‘good luck’ plays a very small part in people’s life. (If you put your faith in good luck, then you have to accept the possibility of bad luck too.) People who put their faith in ‘good luck’ often spend their lives waiting for things to happen. People who don’t believe in luck go out and make things happen.

9. Believing that there is enough money, food, love, etc. in the world to meet everyone’s needs to live abundantly. I left this one till the last, because it can be very hard to believe when faced with war and starvation in the newspapers and on the TV, but a lot of this anger and need is caused because people who have do not believe they have enough, because they substitute money and food for all the other abundance of life. Do your bit to correct that imbalance and start living a life that recognizes there are inequalities and shortages, but recognizes that we can correct that so we all have what we need.

There you have it, now what are you going to do about living your life abundantly?

Alone But Not Lonely

2009-12-02T10:15:00.003-05:00

In today’s fast paced society, we’ve become accustomed to filling the eeriness of silence with fluff. We turn to many distractions as a means of escaping feelings of idleness or boredom. But the main thing we wish to elude is loneliness. Solitude does not have to alienating or lonesome. In fact, solitude and loneliness are distinctly separate.

The death of a loved one or the inability to find people who understand you can leave you feeling isolated. Webster’s dictionary plainly describes loneliness as “being without companions.” It’s natural to experience an emptiness while longing for love or acceptance. Loneliness is therefore an emotive state that can be experienced whether or not one is physically alone.

It was Geoffrey F. Fisher who said, “In the city no one is quiet but many are lonely; in the country, people are quiet but few are lonely.”

We tend to fill loneliness with all types of distractions. For example, some single women would rather spend a Friday night with a man they have no genuine interest in, than spend the night alone. They long for a way of killing time while they await the man they are actually seeking. Then there are young adults who are involved in cliques where they can’t really relate to their companions. However, they would rather feel accepted on a superficial level than risk feeling outcast. So what is it about being alone that scares us?

Do not be spooked by the unfamiliarity of silence. Silence can be an amazing thing. It teaches you how to truly listen. It teaches you to pay attention to what’s going on inside of you. Only when we are alone, can we have the space and peace we need to think without being outwardly influenced. It therefore becomes easier to make important decisions as well as identify whatever feelings are culminating within.

Get in touch with yourself so that you can make conscious decisions rather than simply react to emotions. Appreciate the time you have to yourself. Let the peace and understanding you find better equip you for the commotion of today’s world.

7 Surprisingly Quick And Easy Ways To Feel Happier

2009-12-02T10:06:00.001-05:00

All of us have days when we're out of sorts. You just wish you were in a better mood. You've had days like that, haven't you? Perhaps you tried to get yourself into a better state of mind but struggled to achieve it.

Sometimes we get stuck in our own emotional dumps and forget how easy it is to feel happier, so here are seven simple ways to lift your mood. Many people have found them useful. Some of them may surprise you!

1. Go for a walk.

Most people know that going for a short daily walk is one of the best forms of exercise. When you are feeling down it is even more beneficial. If you can, go into a natural environment with plants and birds. Can you think of such a setting not? What do you notice first? The different shades of greenery, the fresh smell of country air, the sounds of birds, or the sunlight shining through the trees? Make it real by taking a short stroll.

2. Listen to quality music.

Music can shift a listener's state within moments. It's effect can be nearly magical. Dig out that CD you haven't listened to in ages or tune in your radio to something you've never listened to before.

3. Open yourself to discovering something new.

Read something (printed, not on line) different than what you would normally watch. There are a ton of different types of magazines can you get these days. Visit your local library or browse through a magazine rack. Pick up or buy a magazine you wouldn't normally buy. You may discover something wonderful.

4. Find something to laugh at.

Laughter is one of the best ways to lift your spirits. Find a humorous book, or watch a comedy. Even better, try to learn a few new jokes and tell them to others.

5. Simple breathing meditation.

Breathing meditation is a great exercise that you can do anywhere. Simply allow yourself to sit comfortably with your back straight. Now close your eyes and become aware of the flow of air into and out of your nostrils. That's all there is to it. Do this for 10-15 minutes. Notice how pleasantly surprised you can be at how you feel afterward.

6. Doodling for the fun of it.

Most people can remember when they were young and used to doodle for hours. Kids love drawing silly little pictures. Drawing is not just for kids or artists. Whoever you are get some pens, pencils, crayons or whatever you have and just draw for the fun of it. Notice how your state of mind shifts.

7. Think of others less fortunate.

The fact that you are reading this article suggests that you are probably much better off than most people on this planet. At times this may be hard to believe, but if you can read and have access to the internet, just those two things alone means you are better off than most people in the world. There are many human beings that barely have access to the basics of survival. There are people in lots of pain. Allow your compassion for them to grow.

These are all pretty simple. There's nothing profound or life changing, but when all you need is a quick pick me up these may be just the thing you need. Putting simple ideas, methods, tools and techniques into action will help you achieve change more quick and easily--surprisingly so at time-- than you imagine.

Start Thinking Clearer In 10 Steps

2009-11-27T10:53:00.004-05:00

Does your mind sometimes feel like a television station you can't quite tune in? You know there's an interesting program on - or several, but everything is mixed with static. What if you could "tune in" at will, have clear thinking whenever you want it? Try some of the following.

Ten Clear Thinking Techniques And Tips

1. Take a walk. Science will eventually prove this to be a great way to improve the quality of your thinking, but don't wait for the proof. Aren't there enough other reasons to take a walk anyhow?

2. Stay away from sugar. If you want to understand what brain fog is, eat a sugary donut on an empty stomach, then do math problems twenty minutes later. What you will experience, along with the "sugar blues," is brain fog. At least lay off sugar and simple carbohydrates when you need to think clearly.

3. Organized space means clear thinking. It's rare that a person can actually work better in clutter. Organized working space means you won't have the thought "where is that..." distracting your mind.

4. Get better sleep. Sleep requirements vary, but the minimum for most is somewhere around five hours. Some suffer if they sleep less than eight hours. The research, however, indicates that after a certain minimum quantity, the quality of sleep is more important to normal brain function.

5. Try meditating. No time? Just close your eyes, relax, and watch your breath for a while. Accept that your mind will wander, but continually return your attention to your breath. Five minutes of this, and afterwards you'll feel a boost in your brainpower.

6. Resolve your "mind irritations." Watch your busy brain. Maybe a call you need to make has been bothering you, just below consciousness. Find these stressors, and do something to let them go. For example, make that call, or put it on a list, and your mind will let go of it for now. Just seeing a problem and saying, "There's nothing I can do about this until Friday," will often stop unconscious worrying.

7. Don't drink alcohol. At least don't drink too much. While moderate amounts can be conducive to creative thinking, all the evidence says that it is bad for the long-term health of your brain.

8. Make decisions quickly. Nothing gets in the way of clear thinking like a dozen decisions hanging around unmade. If nothing else, decide when you'll make the decision.

9. Get some fresh air. Go outside and breath deeply through your nose. You'll get a good dose of oxygen to your brain, and the change of surroundings can help clear your mind.

10. Satisfy your physical needs. Clear thinking is easier if you aren't too hungry, thirsty, or hot.

You can think more clearly starting today. There are certainly more than ten ways, but you really only need to make a few of them a habit to have a more powerful brain. Why not try one or two right now click here!

How Great is the Strength of Your Belief?

2009-11-23T07:36:00.002-05:00

Be careful what you believe because that is what you will experience. Your belief system is a mechanism which is uniquely yours. It is powered by your desire and controlled by your thoughts and actions. In other words, your success is measured by the strength of your belief.

What is it that you desire? Often people do not have a clue what it is they want, they just know what they do not want. Now is a good time to evaluate your goals and determine the end result you want to achieve. Put your goals in writing and place them where you can see them throughout the day. Read them frequently to keep them fresh on your mind.

• Be inquisitive. Research and learn as much as you can on how you can achieve your goal. Use all possible resources such as books, CDs, courses and people. Yes, people. Talk to as many people as possible who are already successful in what you want to achieve. Ask, ask and ask some more about what they did to reach success. Do not limit your contacts to only the people you already know. Introduce yourself by phone or mail, explain your purpose for contacting them and ask for a tip. The worst thing that can happen is that they ignore you. The best thing that can happen is that they become your mentor and offer support and encouragement. Chances are you will receive at least one great tip from many of the people you contact. This method is the least expensive and most rewarding.

• Be unique. Next, take the ideas you learn, embellish them and come up with your own creative process. Think of how you can approach your goal in a way that no one else has. Dare to be different. Don’t be afraid to take risks. What do you have to loose? Write out a list showing the worst things that could happen and then list all of the best possible outcomes. Always maintain your concentration on your desired result.

• Be better than your competition. When you were a child and saw your older siblings or friends riding a bike (without training wheels), you didn’t look at their scraped knees and elbows and say, “Whoa, I could get hurt doing that.” Instead, you begged to try it for yourself. With a great deal of practice and often pain, you gradually learned how to maintain your balance. Before long you were trying to “out do” your friends with your speed or fancy tricks. When you fell, you would get back on and try again with even greater determination. From your very first effort, you believed in your mind that if you got back on, you would eventually learn to ride. I bet you even knew in your mind you would be the best in the neighborhood, in your school, in the state, in the world!

• Be positive. If you see obstacles before you, then you will also only see problems. If you have hesitations that you plan will not work, then it will not work. If you are influenced by the power of negative people, then you will never be any better than they are. Believe in yourself and what you are capable of achieving.

When your desire to succeed is stronger than the pain, fear or frustration of failing, there is no turning back. I challenge you to view your goals just like you did when you were a child before you learned about self doubt and negative criticism. Remember, anything is possible as long as you believe. Make a commitment that you will not let anything or anyone, including yourself stand in your way of reaching your goals.

The more you believe in yourself, the more your confidence grows.

3 Simple Keys to Getting Rid of Your Fear

2009-11-23T07:23:00.003-05:00

Fear is your enemy – no other way to describe it. I’m not talking about that natural life preserving action along with a major boost of adrenalin that happens if a wild animal is coming at you. I’m talking about the fears people live with day in and day out.

Fear is your enemy. Someone once described fear as, “Sand in the machinery of life.” Fear doesn’t help you, it hinders you. Fear doesn’t get you through an open door; it keeps you in the hallway. Fear never helps you put your best foot forward; it just keeps both of your feet in cement.

The psychology of today is, “Learn to live with your fears”, “Embrace your fears”, “It’s normal to have fears – everybody does.”

It’s true; lots of people do have fears. And there are people who are trying to learn how to live with their fears, and embrace them.

But if it’s “normal” to have fears, then why would the Bible talk about being delivered from all your fears?

Think about it - if it’s normal to have fears, and you had no fears, then you would be abnormal, right? Well why would God want you to be abnormal?

He doesn’t. He truly desires for you to be set free from all your fears.

There are many facets and aspects of fear. One of the big ones is having fear of what others think of you. People do things, say things, and even buy things because of the fear that they have of what others think.

Many times people join clubs or organizations because they are afraid that if they don’t, others might think badly of them.

People say things and talk a certain way because they are afraid that they might not say the right thing in front of the right people.

People purchase items because of fear not measuring up to those around them. And on and on it goes.

You don’t have to live with fear. Here are 3 simple keys to getting rid of fear.

First, start by realizing that God truly loves you and that His love for you is unconditional. The Bible teaches that nothing can separate you from His love. Nothing. His love for you does not change, ever!

Second, ask God to help you to get rid of all your fears. He has promised to deliver you from all your fears. That is His desire for you – a life without fear.

Third, make decisions based on what is best for you, not how it may or may not appear to others. You’ll never, ever be able to please everyone, so stop trying to. You’ll never, ever be right in everybody’s eyes, so stop trying to.

When you make a decision, ask yourself, “Why am I making this decision? Is it based on fear?” Make decisions based on what is right and best for your life, regardless of what others think.

You can live without fear. Eliminate your fears once and for all!

10 Ways to Reduce Commuting Stress

2009-11-19T11:40:00.002-05:00

Do you get out of your car with a queasy stomach, a headache and your blood pressure registering through the roof? If you do, that energy vulture called stress may have sent your pulse skyrocketing. In a study conducted at the University of California at Irvine, researchers found that the stress of commuting takes a major toll on health. According to the study, it has direct physiological effects of raising blood pressure and releasing stress hormones into the body. Not only that, long commutes (more than 18 miles one way) may also increase the likelihood of having a heart attack due to exposure to high levels of air pollutants, which appears to be a risk factor for heart disease.

Although there is no antidote to stressful commuting, there are lots of ways to shoo off the energy vulture. Here's how to thrive while you drive.

1. Prepare in advance

One of the best ways to lessen the strain of road rage is to prepare everything the night before. Clothes, documents, attache cases, and even packed lunches should be set the day before to avoid the morning rush. With everything champing at the bit, you'd save plenty of time to do your morning routines, devour a good breakfast and enjoy special moments with the family. Best of all, you can dash out the highway free of traffic congestion.

2. Sleep well and wake up early

A good night's sleep rejuvenates the body. Make it a habit to have enough sleep and to rise early. If you are already stressed out the day before, an incomplete repose takes over cumulative stress effects into your life at work and at home. Your frustration levels at work eventually rises, your brainpower falters, and your mood at home sours. You have no energy left for enjoying life.

3. Juggle your work hours

Why pack the freeways with all the other "9-to-5"ers when you can try a ten-to-six or an eight-to-four shift? Depending on your company's work policy, try to check out other shifts that fit your lifestyle. Choose one that would help you get rid of energy-depleting stress and allow you to lighten your highway woes.

4. Share your ride

It may be a hassle to coordinate your arrival and departure with another person or two, but carpooling is worth it. Studies show that ride sharing lowers commuter stress significantly. With carpooling, there is less air and noise pollution, less traffic congestion, and you can relax more while someone else does the driving.

5. "Cocoon" in your car

Instead of getting worked up when traffic is at a standstill, utilize your time wisely. Listen to the radio or pop in some music tapes to take your mind off the stop-and-go driving and traffic tie-ups. If you like to read but just can't have time to flip pages of a book, check out books on cassette. Many libraries have full-length books on tape as well as abridged versions. You can even learn a new language or do some car exercises like shoulder rolls, neck extensions and tummy tucks to help you stay awake and relax.

6. Pillow your back and squirm

When you're standing, the lumbar area of your spine (the lower portion) normally curves inward, toward your abdomen. However, when you're sitting, it tends to slump outward squeezing your spinal disks and putting stress on them. According to back expert Malcolm Pope, Ph.D.,director of the Iowa Spine Research Center at the University of Iowa, it helps to support your back by tucking a rolled towel or a pillow in that lumbar section. In cases of longer drives, since sitting in one position for longer than 15 minutes gradually stiffens you even with a back pillow, make necessary adjustments for a comfy ride. For instance, you can try putting most of your weight on one buttock and then the other. Then, shift the position of your seat or your buttocks slightly. You may even try sliding down in your seat and sit up again for fun.

7. Work out after work

Since the evening rush is worse than the morning rush because of the compounded fatigue from the workday, it is best to wait out the traffic. Work out at a gym near your office or take meditation classes to relieve your stress. If you plan to go to dinner, see a movie or go shopping, try to do these things near work, delaying your departure enough to miss the maddening rush.

8. Give yourself a break

It may be a good idea to give yourself some day off from work. Many companies today offer compressed working hours or longer working days to give way to work-free days for you to unwind.

9. Move your office

If your job is a long drive ahead everyday, inquire at work if the company would allow you to work at home some days of the week or if you can work near your place. An alternative work schedule would make you feel less tense and in control thereby reducing stress.

10. Occasionally change your routine

An occasional change of commuting habits may be advisable too. Try walking or bicycling sometimes for a change. There's nothing like a good walk to ease tension especially when it means you don't have to get in your car and fight rush hour traffic.

By lessening the stress of getting to work, you are conserving enormous amounts of energy that may be lost over stressful commuting. It doesn't only leave you a lot more energy to do your job and become more productive but it also makes you feel good and gives you a good reason to always start your day right.

2 Ways To Get 6 Pack Abs

2009-11-15T09:57:00.002-05:00

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Finding Ways To Improve Your Lifestyle

2009-11-15T09:42:00.003-05:00

Are you looking at ways to improve your lifestyle? Are you bored in your current role of employment? Do you think you could be achieving a lot more than you are at the moment? Are you seeking a new challenge? In this article, I give advice on how people can go about improving their lifestyle, this advice is based from my own personal experiences.

I believe that we should always be looking into ways of expanding our knowledge and should never just accept second best. The brain is very powerful and loves to be set a new challenge or to a learn a new task. It is what keeps it alive and ticking over. I am sure that we have all heard of the phrase, I think this job is making me brain dead. This is where someone has a role in employment that is not challenging them or their brain, and this can lead them into a state of boredom and even depression. Their mind and brains are desperate for something to get to grips with and something to test them.

I am always looking into finding new areas of life which I can learn about. Just recently I have been attempting to educate myself on the ins and outs of website promotion. This is something which is of great interest to me and I wanted to find out about how you can increase the amount of visitors you have to a website. I have spent a great deal of time studying this area and even though I feel that I have learnt a great deal, I would love to know a lot more. What I like about website promotion and website marketing is that the search engines are constantly changing their ideas of how best to rank a site, as they are fighting a constant battle against spam. This certainly keeps me on my toes. One thing I have learnt in this and other fields is that hard work pays off and if you attempt to defraud the search engines you are more than likely going to be found out. That is a good thing in my opinion.

I also like to help out people on a voluntary basis. This is something I would advise other people to do if they have the spare time as it can give you a real buzz knowing that you are helping somebody and it also keeps you busy. A lot of people who have too much time on their hands can easily find themselves becoming restless and this can lead them into thinking too much. These thoughts are normally worrying about something or other which of course is not very healthy or productive.

The people I help out on a voluntary basis are my parents who run a form of animal sanctuary from their home. My parents are both in the sixties and struggle to look after the many animals that live with them. I normally spend around twenty hours a week at their house, cleaning out and feeding the fifty rabbits, walking the dogs and feeding the cats. It is not exactly the most interesting of things to do, but I know that it is helping take some of the burden away from my mother and father.

In the past I have also attended evening study classes. This again is where I am trying to improve my knowledge and is something of course that I can include on my c.v. It is also a great way of meeting new people which is something I like to do.

In conclusion there are many ways in which we can become happier and more contented. Our life does not have to be boring and mundane, there is always options out there of how we can go about improving our lifestyle. Good luck.

3 Positive Steps To Discover The Purpose Of Your Life

2009-11-11T10:26:00.003-05:00

In this article we will discuss the concept of life and its underlying principle. We will be going through a step by step procedure, exploring your feelings and options, and by the end of this article, you should have a fairly solid tool you could immediately employ in your life, to give it a meaningful direction.

There are three steps to the process of discovering the purpose of your life:

Understanding the principle of choice
Creating your underlying principle
Aligning your life with the underlying principle

Understanding the principle of choice

Norman Vincent Peale has this to say about the power of choice. “The greatest power we have is the power of choice. It is an actual fact, that if you have been groping under unhappiness, you can choose to be joyous, instead. And, by effort, lift yourself into joy. If you tend to be fearful, you can overcome that misery by choosing to have courage. The whole trend and the quality of anyone’s life is determined by the choice that are made”.

Choosing is the most important activity of your mind, because by making a choice, you are proclaiming your desires to your subconscious mind. Once the subconscious mind get to know your desires, it is going to do anything to manifest them in your life. The choices you make in your life become your goal. And, if you are sincere in pursuing them, there is no reason why you should not accomplish them.

Indecision, on the other hand, not only creates frustration and anxiety, but can also confuse the subconscious mind about what you want. But it is important that the choices you make are made by you, in accordance with your true desires, purposes and aptitude. A lot us of let others make choices for us, or make our choices according to what we think is ‘correct’, even if that means that we go against our wishes. What is right for someone is may not be right for you, and the way to know this is listening to what your heart says.

So, begin with, make a list of things which interests you; things which you have always enjoyed, which makes you feel better, which inspires you to surge ahead, no matter what obstacles you face. Do you like doing something creative, or something artistic? Do you enjoy nature, do you like the sea? Do you enjoy helping others? Do you get pleasure out of making a difference in other people’s life?

What ever it is that interests you, go ahead and make a list under the following headlines:

Things you love to do:

______________________________________

What is it that you love in this thing and why? How you could do this for money, and make a living out of it?

__________________

__________________

Creating Your Underlying Principle:

The next step is to examine the list you just made and find out if there is any recurring them. Maybe, it is the contribution that keeps coming up, or an effect to seek or give love, or helping your parents cope with old age. Whatever it is try to identify the central them of the things you love to do, and try to put it in a short and precise statement. This will be your ‘Mission Statement’. It may even be a quote by a famous person, or a philosophy that has influenced you. Of course, as you grow up, this statement could evolve, but its soul will remain the same. Now, write down your Mission Statement.

Aligning your LIFE with the Underlying Principle:

The final step in this journey is to map your path to your ultimate purpose. Make the little changes in your lifestyle that would accommodate this principle in your life. LIVE this principle each and every day. It might take a few days, but you will certainly feel the difference in your enthusiasm for life. If you realize that you love being amidst nature, plan out your holiday. Maybe an outing with your children could be enough to recoup with your energy. On the other hand, you might even want to change your job, or start a new business, that is more in line with your mission.

Remember – “Do what you love, and money will follow” and your self esteem will never be a problem.

3 Ways to Use the Secret in Your Life

2009-11-07T15:30:00.004-05:00

The first thing everyone wants to know after watching the move the secret is, “How do I use the Secret?” That’s understandable because although the movie is good and it does introduce you to the law of attraction it does not quite tell you how to properly apply it to your life.

The First Step

One of the first things you can do in using the secret law of attraction in y our life is to educate yourself as much as possible on the subject of the law of attraction. Learn the very nature of the law of attraction and how it influences your life.

The core of the secret, are your thoughts which goes a lot deeper than negative verses positive thought. If you understood the truly nature of thought you would be a huge step above those who think they understand the law of attraction.

The Second Step

The second step to mastering the secret law of attraction is to get a journal and begin to write. Do you know most people have no clue what their predominant thought patters is, nor do they even know what it is that they want.

When you get a journal you can begin to explore your feelings on a much deeper level. Seeing your feelings on paper clears it up from being cluttered in your mind.

The Third Step

The third step to using the secret law of attraction is to take small inspired action towards your goals. With your new law of attraction journal you can begin to track daily every action you take that is in alignment with your goals. Its very hard for most people to be aware of the way they spend their time. When you set a specific plan and track it in your journal you have a better change of seeing how your week has gone, your month and then your year.

Much time can pass with many of us taking the same tiresome actions that get us the same lousy results again and again. Then many people say that the law of attraction did not work in their lives but actually the law of attraction did work. It simply worked to give you more of the same conditions you were creating again and again.

There are 11 forgotten secrets to the law of attraction, find out what they are click here!

3 Things That Can Save You When You Don’t Know What To Say

2009-11-03T07:56:00.003-05:00

You are dating a beautiful but a shy girl or one that is not a talkie. You have already talked about your hobbies, your families and your jobs and nothing else come into your mind and she is not really helping you (that’s what you believe).

One of the best ways of having a good, healthy and wholesome chat with your girlfriend is to start with small talk. The small talk will give you a general picture about her likes and dislikes, as well as what she would like to discuss and what she would rather leave alone. Once the small talk gives you a general idea, you
can go ahead and discuss your common likes and dislikes.

But what is really freaking you are those moment of silence. Uhh... horrible moments. :) The key to avoid or get over these horrible moments are:

1. Compliment her

The fact is most people are shy about meeting new people. I used to be enormously shy. But when you think about it, shyness is merely a fear that others won't like you, or that you may be rejected in some way. It's natural for us to desire acceptance. So try to make her know that you like her by making a compliment. But find something that you really find attractive about her, about her lifestyle or her personality. She will become more confident and more open to share her believes and her shyness won’t be a problem for a fluid conversation.

2. Asking open questions

How you ask questions is very important in establishing a basis for an effective
communication. Effective questions open the door to knowledge and understanding. The art of questioning lies in knowing which questions to ask when.

My favorites questions are "why" and "how" questions. You can use these frequently without being annoying. She will feel that you are interested in what she is telling you and will develop her answers.

Therefore, you should think carefully before speaking and taking up subjects that might be repugnant to her.

3. Listen, listen, and listen.

Usually when the woman starts talking about her favorite subjects (feelings, family,
relationships, friends and her work) many men lose interest or bring the conversation back to themselves. This is one of the biggest mistake men are doing all the time.

They also like to exchange jokes and anecdotes and spend a fair amount of time playing one-up and boasting. Stop doing that!!!

Allow HER to have HER points of view, while you have yours. Men have felt like they have either had to abandon their own beliefs in order to try to get a woman, OR they had to fight with women about what they believe in. Both approaches lead
to failure.

She is not there with you just to hear about your hero "qualities", but to have a great time!

5 Quick Stress Busters

2009-10-31T18:08:00.001-04:00

Stress is fast becoming the biggest health problem in modern societies. Financial pressures, work pressures, family pressures – so much to do so little time to do it all! Here’s five quick ways to ease the pressure and relieve stress:

1. Make time to switch off from the daily trials and tribulations and relax for at least one hour every day. Just shut the world out and do something you enjoy. Reading, playing a musical instrument, taking a relaxing bath with music and candles (and maybe a glass of wine) are all great ways to unwind and will be extremely beneficial to your mental health.

2. If you’re dealing with a stressful situation and you have a lot on your plate then it can be very hard to find solutions. You’re caught up in the midst of a sandstorm and it is very difficult to see the way out. A good idea is to get some distance from your problems so you can gather your thoughts. If possible, take a day or even a weekend away from your usual surroundings, somewhere peaceful, and relax. Take a journal along so you can jot down any ideas. Distance away from problems can bring clarity and by relaxing, you’ll be calmer and solutions will come far easier than when you’re in the heat of battle.

3. One of the reasons people become stressed is because they are facing a change or even a number of changes to their lives. Change is a constant in life and refusing to accept change can cause stress levels to soar. When you are faced with a change, try to find the positives associated with change and embrace change instead of resisting it. Every change presents an opportunity for you to grow and there are always positives to find in even the most trying of circumstances. Change doesn’t bring stress, it’s all about how you react to change and if you react in a negative way, you will do yourself no end of harm.

4. There always seems to be an endless list of jobs that need doing: repairs around the home, paperwork, car maintenance, throwing out junk, cleaning the patio, weeding the garden – on and on and on! The more we put them off, the more the list grows and the more they contribute to your stress levels. So make a list of all of these chores and then schedule something I call a “Blitz Day”. On this day, you will rise early and spend the whole day sorting out each of these jobs. Take few breaks and only have a quick bite at lunchtime and just blitz through these irritating but necessary tasks. This will get rid of them, you’ll lower the stress they cause but more importantly, you’ll realize just how effective and industrious you can be when you apply the full force of your will to accomplish things.

5. Treat yourself to a pamper day. This is a day where you escape from the hustle and bustle of everyday living and enjoy some stress-free time. You’ll also feel great and give your well being a huge boost. On this day, have a light workout, a swim, a sauna, a Jacuzzi, a steam room. A massage would be nice and if you have access to one, a Turkish baths will give you an invigorating experience. Try to do this at least once a month, it is an excellent stress-buster.

The 5 Tips here will help you to significantly reduce your stress levels but they’ll only work for you if you put them into action. Give them a go – you’ll be amazed at the results!

Do You Have A Plan Of Action To Reach Your Goals

2009-10-26T20:11:00.001-04:00

You have finally made the decision that it is time to make some changes in your life. You know that the only way things are going to get better for you financially, spiritually and physically is if you sit up and take action. You know you have to put forth the effort in order to reap the rewards.

So how exactly are you going to implement these changes? You are going to have a "plan of action".

A plan of action is crucial to your success. Without a plan it is merely a thought. When you add your thoughts to paper coupled with a desire to see them become realities and proceed to do everything possible to fulfill that desire you have a template for success.

A simple equation to use when creating a plan of action from your template is: Desire + Effort = Results.

Your first step is to write down what exactly it is you desire. Albeit wealth, personal development or whatever you so strongly yearn for that you simply can no longer go without, write it down. Make your desires realistic. For example, if your desire is to lose 20 pounds, it is unrealistic to believe you can lose 20 pounds in 3 days. However, it is possible to lose 20 pounds in 3 months with a proper plan of action. It is important to note that there should be a time frame with regards to your plan. These time frames are the milestones to marking your achievements.

Now that you know what your specific desire is, list the ways in which you plan on achieving optimum results. How do I plan to lose these 20 pounds? What do I have to do each day in order to achieve my goal? What do I personally need to do to see this plan come to fruition?

Set up a schedule outlining each step that needs to be taken daily to achieve weekly goals. Be specific. Create a daily "to do" list. At the end of the week you will be able to see how much you were able to accomplish. Congratulate yourself for each accomplishment.

Make a commitment to yourself to "Work the Plan". Stay focused on the positive. List all the reasons why you will be able to achieve your objective. Utilize the strengths you possess that will help you to complete your plan.

Know your weaknesses and make a concerted effort to overcome them. Incorporate both your strengths and weakness into your plan of action. Know what you are capable of and know what your shortcomings are.

Have your own personal reward system in place. Know what each reward will be for each accomplishment that you have fulfilled throughout your plan. With every desired result you achieve there should be a reward for having done so. An incentive plan customized to your wants.

Do not let yourself get disheartened. If you have a temporary lapse or deviation from the plan acknowledge it and continue to move forward with your plan. Keep the pedal to the metal or your nose to the grindstone, just keep on taking action. Remember, this is not a race to the finish line. Your plan is your future. Take the time to nurture and understand it.

We've all heard the adage "Rome was not built in a day". Your success regarding your plan of action will not be achieved in one day either. Success is a process and the process is something you have a long-term plan for.

"You and only you can determine if the reward is worth the price you are paying for it in effort".

5 Steps to Goal Setting Success

2009-10-26T20:07:00.001-04:00

Goal setting is the true secret to success in any area of life. But although setting a goal may seem simple, achieving it is usually another question altogether.

Why is that?

Because you will never achieve your goals unless you: (1) know exactly what you want, (2) are passionate about your goal, and (3) have a solid, realistic plan of action. This is what marks the difference between nebulous dreams and wishes - and truly achievable goals!

Many obstacles and challenges will fly right in your face when you're going after a goal. Here are 5 time-tested methods that will help get the success you deserve.

1. Know exactly what your goal is

Your first job is to discover exactly what your goal is. What will achieving that goal really look like? Be as specific as possible about exactly what your desired end result is. Your success will be a measure of your clarity - since an achievable goal plan cannot be created around a nebulous "dream."

If your goals are to create a more successful business, what will that look like? Are you thinking in terms of simply hiring someone else to give you more free time? Are you looking for a very specific monthly profit? Or can your goal be best expressed in terms of a certain lifestyle?

Regardless of what you want, the best way to get it is to first clarify exactly what you want in as much detail as possible. This can be hard work. But without a clear mental picture, you'll never have the focus required to achieve your goal.

2. Be willing to pay the "entry fee"

Success takes dedicated planning and effort. In a way it's like building a house. In the beginning all you have is a rough concept. Then you develop a complete set of plans - and you immediately move closer to success. The same is true of creating a better lifestyle, or a more successful business.

But there's always an *entry fee* to be paid for success.

The entry fee?

Creating more success in your business may mean less recreational time. Writing your own book may require less TV. Being closer to your children may require adjusting your work or social activities.

It's the "full glass" deal. If your life (your time) is already full to the top, there's no room for something new. The entry fee is carving out the time to create that something new.

3. Focus on your goal every day

I'm sure you probably want to achieve your goal as fast as possible. That's why clear mental focus is so very important.

Consistent daily focus is absolutely necessary to "burn in" the new neural pathways you need to create your new goal. Without daily focus, the old mental habits that have kept you from your goal will continue to take over.

This happens automatically - since these old habits replay 24/7 deep in your subconscious mind. The only way to override subconscious anti-success messages is to consciously focus on what you DO want - and build new neural networks!

That's why success is an every-day event.

Re-commit to your goal every day. Don't let your goal take a back seat to the daily tasks and distractions that will try to take over. Life WILL try to get in your way. Just get, and stay, on course every day. Focus on your goal, and on success!

4. Get passionate

One of the most powerful tools in your "success tool box" is having real passion for your goal.

Why passion?

Because intense passionate desire for your goal will help you burn in those new neural pathways even faster. Many, many scientific studies have shown that intense emotion (passion) is a key success tool.

PLUS (and this is really a *big* plus), intense passion will also help you rapidly override any inappropriate old "failure messages" stored in your subconscious mind.

5. Take consistent action

In many ways, actually taking action can be the most difficult step. Successful goal achievement is built by taking one small action after another.

The word is ACTION!

If you commit to take at least one small action each day, your actions WILL add up and make a difference. So avoid sitting back waiting for that big second when everything will magically "just happen."

You CAN create whatever you want in life. The secret is to determine exactly what you want, then pursue it passionately. But remember -- in the end, only action counts! You can't just dream about it! You have to DO IT!

10 Small Steps To Improve Your Health

2009-10-22T07:35:00.001-04:00

Many of us make health-related resolutions, such as to lose weight, stop smoking or join the neighborhood health club. While it is common to set high goals, experts say that setting smaller goals could do more for our health.

"Small steps are achievable and are easier to fit into your daily routine," says James O. Hill, Ph.D., Director of the Center for Human Nutrition at the University of Colorado Health Sciences Center. "They are less overwhelming than a big, sudden change."

Here are 10 to try:

1. Stop gaining weight. Even if you gain just a pound or two every year, the extra weight adds up quickly.

2. Take more small steps. Use a pedometer to count your daily steps; then add 2,000, the equivalent of one extra mile. Keep adding steps, 1,000 to 2,000 each month or so, until you take 10,000 steps on most days.

3. Eat breakfast. Breakfast eaters tend to weigh less and have better diets overall. For a filling and nutrition-packed breakfast, top Whole Grain Total® with fresh fruit slices and low-fat or fat-free milk.

4. Switch three grain servings each day to whole grain. If you're like the average American, you eat less than one whole grain serving a day.

5. Have at least one green salad every day. Eating a salad (with low-fat or fat-free dressing) is filling and may help you eat less during the meal. It also counts toward your five daily cups of vegetables and fruits.

6. Trim the fat. Fat has a lot of calories, and calories count. Purchase lean meats, eat poultry without the skin, switch to lower-fat cheeses, use a nonstick pan with only a dab of oil or butter.

7. Consider calcium by including two or three daily servings of low-fat or fat-free milk or yogurt. Dairy calcium is good for bones and may also help you lose weight.

8. Downsize. The smaller the bag, bottle or bowl, the less you will eat.

9. Lose just 5 to 10 percent of your current weight. The health benefits are huge-lower blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol and triglycerides.

10. Keep track of your eating. Write down what you eat over the next couple of days and look for problem spots. Often, just writing things down can help you eat less.

Until next time, keep working to change the man in the mirror.

Are You a Negative Thinker?

2009-10-22T07:24:00.002-04:00

Barbara sought help because of her chronic fatigue. She had been going to different kinds of doctors and trying different nutrition plans for years and nothing was helping her. One of the doctors suggested that she try psychotherapy.

In became evident early in our work together than Barbara was deeply addicted to thinking the worst. Constant negativity went through her mind about every aspect of her life. She would get out of her car and worry about getting robbed. In social situations, she would tell herself that people didn’t like her. She was always worried about money, even though she was a successful graphic designer. Her husband could never do anything right. There was something wrong with every doctor she saw.

Negative thinking causes much stress in the body. She was told to imagine that she was telling these negative thoughts to a child. How would the child feel most of the time? Barbara could see that this child would, of course, feel anxious and stressed much of the time in response to all the negativity and catastrophic thinking.

The medical profession has long told us that stress is one of the leading causes of illness. Stress sets into motion the body’s fight or flight response, pouring cortisol into the body and eventually exhausting the adrenal glands. Adrenal exhaustion can be one of the results of so much negative thinking.

While Barbara could understand the possible effect her negative thinking was having on her health, it was extremely challenging for her to give up her negative thinking. Barbara deeply believed that her negative thinking kept her safe from disappointment. She believed that thinking the negative thought before the bad thing would happen prepared her to deal with it. She didn’t want to be caught off guard. She believed that she could not handle the pain of disappointment, so that if she knew about it ahead of time and actually expected it, she wouldn’t feel disappointed.

In addition, Barbara believed that if she was vigilant enough and thought through all the bad things that could happen, she could prevent them. She believed that by thinking ahead, she could somehow have control over the outcome of things.

Finally, Barbara also started to believed that she could control how people felt about her by acting right and saying the right thing. She was constantly vigilant about her behavior with others in her attempts to control how they felt about her and treated her.

However, in trying to control her feelings, others’ feelings and the outcome of things, Barbara may have been causing her illness. The underlying cause of her negative thinking was her devotion to this control.

The problem with all of this is that it is based on an illusion – the illusion of control. The fact is that Barbara could not foresee every event that could cause her some pain. She was devastated every time something happened that she had not thought of beforehand. How could something painful come out of the blue like that? How could she have not foreseen it?

The paradox of all of this is that, in trying to foresee future catastrophes, Barbara was not present in the moment. Real safety is in being present in the moment so we can respond appropriately to whatever is happening in the moment. When we are fully present in the moment, we are available to receiving information from our inner Guidance. All of us have a Source of Guidance that is always available to us, and that is here to help us and protect us. But we can access our Guidance only when we are fully present in the moment, not when we are trying to control the future.

Barbara is in the process of becoming more aware of her negative thinking. She is not yet healthy, but she has some better days now, days that are lighter and more fun.

Moving out of negative thinking is a process that takes time. If you are a negative thinker, you have been practicing this form of thinking your whole life. It is not going to stop in a day. But if you tune into the stress you feel and learn to connect your stress with your negative thinking, you can slowly change this pattern.

Vitality and joy can be the result of letting go of your negative thinking and learning to be present in the moment.

Ask yourself this one question, are you a negative thinker like Barbara?

Knowing Your Personality Type

2009-10-22T07:13:00.002-04:00

Our world is made of all kinds of persons. Some do things as they have been done since ages. They talk, react, judge and act exactly as they have seen and taught. These kinds of people hate original and new ideas calling them dangerous for the world. On the other side of the spectrum are people who live life dangerously. They want to break every convention, every rule and live life on their own terms. They decide what they want to do irrespective of the outcome. The third type is original and mature.

The conventional types will never question anything. For them life has very few whys. They accept the way things are done, and meekly follow the leader. They are proud of their heritage and history, and changing trends will discomfort them greatly.

The dangerous kind, who believes in no conventions, will do everything in their own way. Their behavior may cause pain to others and discomfort to family and friends, but they are not bothered. They consider themselves as right and others as wrong and sometimes fools. They dislike, rather hate any preaching or advise and are the rebels of the society. These people may not always be very brave, but cowards. They are comfortable doing things in their own way but may be very selfish.

The last type is original and mature. This type is balanced. These people don't laugh at every convention, nor wish to break all of them. They maturely try to understand the why and then decide the correct course of action. For them if the conventional way is found correct, they will follow that otherwise they will chart their own course. This personality is inventive and reflective. These people try to develop a view of how things should be to make a happy world. These people will be ready to make sacrifices, risk their lives and are ready to fight conventions and set thoughts if they find them dangerous. Such people can become great leaders who can lead their group to a better future. They are original but mature in their thinking.

This may sound contradictory, but original does not imply - to do everything in the new way. Original here implies thought process that is original. Their maturity and originality gives them a wide canvas to decide about ethics, values and the correct way of living. These people enjoy the world, love the world and wish to contribute something significant to make a better world.

Do you know what your personality type is, why not find out.

A Beginners Guide To Online Dating - 5 Great Tips!

2009-10-22T07:06:00.003-04:00

Did you know that two out of five single people in the UK now use some kind of on line dating service? That's 40% of all singles! Unfortunately, the percentage of these people who actually find a real romance as a direct result of their site memberships is very low - probably less than 10%.

Why is this? Well, it's true that some sites are better than others; they have more traffic, they are better to navigate; they just 'work' whilst others just don't. But what really matters is how you use a site when you actually sign-up to one. Take my word for it, unless you take the five simple steps that I'm about to outline, you may as well do something more productive with your time than join a singles site. What I'm about to say may sound obvious and rather simplistic, but you'd be surprised at how many people don't bother doing the 'obvious'. So here goes...

1. Create A Great Profile. This is the most important aspect of your dating site experience. Don't just say 'Nice guy seeks nice girl for trips to the cinema' - how boring does that sound? Take the time to say something about yourself, your lifestyle, your interests and the type of person you're hoping to meet. And remember to sound happy, upbeat, fun and confident; if you're miserable about your recent breakup, then keep it to yourself! This isn't the time for modesty; if you think you're pretty darn attractive, then be sure to say so. And humour is a real ice-breaker - if you can make someone laugh, they'll be more likely to want to contact you.

2. Always Upload A Photo. Even if you don't have a very flattering one to hand, you should always post a pic with your profile. Remember, 95% of people on dating sites only search for other members who have bothered to provide a picture of themselves. You want to see what other potential partners look like so it stands to reason that other people will want to know what you look like too. If your photo isn't recent or isn't a great likeness of you, you can always say so in your profile.

3. Be Proactive. Don't just join a site and expect other people to contact you. Make sure you regularly search the database for people with whom you might be compatible and when you find someone you like the look or sound of, write to them immediately and tell them why you think you might be a good fit.

4. Write Great Emails. OK, you've joined a dating site, you've searched for other members who fall within your specified categories, and you've been presented with a page of matching profiles. You're eager to fire off a few emails...but what on earth do you say in them? Re-read the paragraph above about creating a great profile and apply the same rules to the first email that you send to another member. If it looks like you can't be bothered to say much or that you're sending the same one line message to several people, then they probably wont bother to reply. Tell that person a little about who you are and why you think you might both be compatible - respond directly to what you've read in that person's profile - sound interested and interesting and you'll get an email by return - sound boring and downbeat and you'll just be ignored.

5. Check Back With The Site. There are two reasons why you should do this as often as possible. The most obvious one is to keep up to speed with who has joined since you last logged-on; that special someone might have signed-up since you last visited the site so don't miss out. However, what most people don't realize is that when you log-in to a dating site, your profile moves up the listings on the internal search engine which means that you are more likely to be spotted and subsequently contacted by other people. Don't be a stranger to the site you've joined and I recommend that you visit the site at least once a day during the lifetime of your membership.

So there you have it - 5 easy ways to make your chosen dating site work for YOU. Have fun and happy hunting!

Creating Your Own Destiny

2009-10-19T18:38:00.003-04:00

We are constantly imitating others. When we copy other people, we can't reproduce their charisma, talent or success. Externally, we can imitate their life, their way of dressing and drive the same kind of car, but this does not bring us fulfilment.

We can take another life as an example, but we must think hard before we follow them. Look at the virtues of others and ask yourself: "I have something valuable and worthwhile myself? How can I bring it out?" When you notice something bad in those around you, make a firm resolve: "Let me not nurture such vices".

There is much hidden potential in each one of us. What should we do to make this blossom? When you activate yourself, you bring out all the strengths and talents that God has given you, all that is inherent in you, that is natural in you, something genuine and original.

Create your own identity. When you do this other people gravitate towards you. Activation leads to gravitation. Then you don't imitate others. Instead others might want to be like you. We are used to paying more attention to the external world. We try to gain social approval by dressing ourselves in a certain manner.

We stand in front of the mirror and make sure that we are presentable before we leave the house. We trust the mirror implicitly. The mirror reflects our outward appearance, not our thoughts, feelings and relationships.

Does it reflect the love in your heart? You may go to your workplace dressed in your best clothes. When somebody provokes you there, you may retort in anger or sulk in silence. Either way your peace of mind is shattered. Now your beautiful dress does nothing to help you.

Only inner strength and equipoise can continue to keep you calm, cheerful and unruffled. For this you have to activate the divine core within, from which flows a perennial stream of peace and tranquility.

Imitation cannot give you peace. So, watch your attitude, thoughts, words and desires. Be aware of the calmness in your inner core and try to retain it.

External beauty is temporary. Inner beauty is permanent and eternal. This is the beauty we need and this is what we gain when we activate ourselves. This is the beauty God recognizes. So seek love, for you seek inner beauty. Direct your mind to a higher ideal.

When you see the divine beauty concealed in your own heart, you also see it in others. "Do not see, seek". Don't look merely at the external form, but also at the divinity within. Today when you see a beggar, you will give him alms.

You will not pat him on the back or shake his hand. If your child comes home, dirty from the playground and calls you "Mummy, Daddy ...", you hug him with love.

If a child in rags comes to you, you drive him away because you don't love him. For the realised soul a beggar and a king are equally divine and beautiful because he has activated his inner core.

When you imitate you only see. When you activate you seek. The difference between "see" and "seek" is the "k". That "k" is kindness or karuna.

When there is care, compassion and kindness, nothing else matters. So let us stop imitating. Let us evaluate ourselves and nurture the divine core within. Let us seek. Let us activate.

Learning How To Attract Success

2009-10-19T18:32:00.001-04:00

We all wish to be successful and yet somehow we seem to be missing the target. In this article we will show you how to become more successful in all your endeavors.

Success often eludes many people. Like the inevitable pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, people set their hearts on following their dreams only to wake up disappointed.

Disappointment can be crushing to people. They sit and wonder what on earth they did wrong. They may have a strong belief in that pot of gold, but a dream alone cannot make your visions a reality.

You may have read a myriad of books and followed all the rules and imagined yourself as the successful person that you want to be. Your vision may be crystal clear and that is a good thing. The Bible says, “Without a vision the people perish”. The problem remains that envisioning yourself as successful is not enough.

What are your dreams?
What are you hopes for the future?
Have you ever written them down?

If you could be anything that you wanted to be and go where you wanted to go, who would you be? What would you be like? Where would you be living?

I want you to take a few moments now and write down the answer to these questions. Be as specific as you can so you can visualize these things as being true today. Crystallize these ideals in your mind.

Don’t cheat here, this is an important exercise, now go and write the answers down on a piece of paper, or better still in a book. You can call this your Dream Book to Success.

Now ask yourself this question: What do I need to do in order to live the life I dream of?

What do I need to do to make my dreams a reality?

The first step is to make sure you do not put off the vision too far in the distance. Don’t live on tomorrow’s sunshine. At the same time, don’t expect to have a change overnight. There is no magic pill that is going to bring about your dream. There is no easy road that will bring you to the Emerald City.

Someone once said “the road to success is filled with hard knocks” and this is reality.

You CAN achieve your dreams only if you systematically prepare yourself to receive them. You also must believe that you CAN receive them.

Henry Ford said, “If you think you can you can, and if you think you can’t, you can’t”

If you believe that you CAN achieve your dreams then it’s time for you to start planning on how you are going to make your dreams of success come true. Don’t let fear sabotage your thinking. If you have faith, you can move mountains! Sometimes though a mountain must be moved a piece at a time.

This takes planning. No amount of wishful thinking will get you what you want. Your vision may be crystal clear but with out a plan it’s just a dream. You need to plan your life in order to get the results you wish for.

You need to set goals for yourself. I know, you hate the thought of setting goals, but unless you put it down in writing and give it a date, it won’t happen. I can guarantee it.

Do you see yourself as slim and sitting on a beach somewhere? Well if you need to lose weight, dreaming isn’t going to make it happen. You must write down your goal for losing weight.

In order for my dream to come true I must lose __________ pounds. This is a good start. Now visualize yourself standing in front of a mirror weighing your perfect weight. Doesn’t that feel good?

This is your target, your dream, your vision. Now ask yourself, in order to reach that goal, what steps do I need to take today. Is it reasonable to say to yourself that you could lose 10 pounds a month? Too much? How about 4 pounds a month? Can you make a decision to yourself to lose 1 pound a week. In a year that would be 52 pounds! If you lost 2 pounds a week that would be 104 pounds! See how much you can do by breaking your goals down to bite size pieces. Your mountain can literally be moved piece by piece, or pound by pound in this example. Voila ! Success!

There is nothing mystical in making your dreams a success. In every situation you can do it piece by piece until your mountain is moved and you achieve Success.

A Simple Test to Test Your Positive Thinking

2009-10-19T12:42:00.001-04:00

To find out how positive you are, answer the following questions as honestly as you can using this scoring system:

Answers Points

Always or almost always 5

Usually 4

Sometimes 3

Rarely 2

Never 1

Put your score in the block on the right:

When something unexpected forces you to change your plans, and you are quick to spot a hidden advantage in this new situation? [ ]

Do you like most of the people you meet? [ ]

When you think about next year, do you tend to think that you will be better off than you are now? [ ]

Do you often stop to admire the things of beauty? [ ]

When someone finds fault with you or with something you have done, can you tell the difference between useful criticism and ‘sour grapes', which is better ignored? [ ]

Do you praise your spouse / best friend / lover more often than you criticize him or her? [ ]

Do you believe that the human race will survive well into the twenty first century [ ]

Are you surprised when a friend lets you down? [ ]

Do you think you are happy? [ ]

Do you feel comfortable making yourself the target of your own jokes? [ ]

Do you believe that, overall, your state of mind has had a positive effect on your physical health? []

If you made a list of your 10 favorite people, would name be there on it too? [ ]

When you think back over the past few months, do you tend to remember your success before your setbacks and failures? [ ]

Total Points [ ]

Scoring:

If the sum of all the scores is:

Above 55: Consider yourself a superstar – someone whose optimism is a powerful
healing force.

50 – 55: Excellent. You are a genuine positive thinker

45 – 50: Good. You are a positive thinker, sometimes

40 – 45: Fair. Your positive side and your negative side are about evenly matched

Below 40: You tend to be pessimistic. Think of ways to improve your pessimistic
Approach to life.

How Great is the Strength of Your Belief?

2009-10-19T12:37:00.002-04:00

3 Powerful Tips To Help Manage Everyday Stress

2009-10-19T12:31:00.001-04:00

Often times stress will manifest when we carry over yesterday’s concerns into our present day concerns. An accumulation will almost always end up in a high stress level. Therefore, we must be able to “dump” all of our concerns from the previous day or days and concentrate wholly on our today.

So here are 3 stress busting tips

- Stress Busting Tip #1

Resolve right now to release every thought from yesterday and be only mindful of the now…. this thought only...this breath...this moment. Take in three very deep breaths and slowly release each one.

At the same time feel each and every concern, each and every problem, and each and every unresolved moment, begin to dissolve. You can deal with them at a later time. For now, you are only to be in this very moment.

Now go to your inner quiet place. Go deep inside to a place where you feel that you are at peace and then just relax and breathe in deeply and enjoy the feeling of being at one and at peace within yourself.

Use this special time and place to be calm. Free your mind and body of all worry, all regret, all disappointment, all anger and grief.

- Stress Busting Tip #2

Next, think of one particular act, such as rocking your baby, taking a quick stroll, raking the leaves, and do that one simple thing. All the while, your mind is quiet and calm and you are in your own special place within.

Practice this act of quiet and calm each day and you will see that you will accomplish so much more. At the first sign of being stressed, go back to this mindful, quiet place and start all over again until you have reached your inner place of calm.

- Stress Busting Tip #3

The very best thing that you can do for yourself is to eat, drink and rest – to your health!

Stress is easily brought on by not eating and drinking properly. When you don’t get the number of hours of sleep that you need each night, you are only setting yourself up for additional stress.

Limit the amount of salt, sugar, caffeine and alcohol in your diet. Drink plenty of clean, pure water each day and do at least moderate exercise each day. This will breathe new life into your skin, hair and will nourish all of your vital organs.

Take time to breathe properly! Take deep belly breathes to send pure oxygen to all of your body. Laugh and then laugh some more. It is food for the soul! Spend time doing the things that please you most. Engage in healthy and fulfilling relationships and work on problems that would erode the closeness that you have with someone special.

When we are content and living a balanced life everyday stresses seem to pale in comparison. We are better equipped to deal with the unexpected.

You can take control today! Isolate only one particular stressor in your life and then work on it until you regain control. At the very least, have some new hope!

5 Steps to a Balanced Monday Morning

2009-10-19T12:18:00.001-04:00

It’s Monday morning (again). You glance at the kitchen clock and gulp down a cup of coffee while attempting to put on your clothes at the same time and realize that you only have 5 minutes to get your 5 year old dressed and ready for school, not to mention you still need to pack her lunch. Not soon enough do you remember that you were warned the previous Thursday by your easy-going boss (not!) for being late the third day in a row.

Sound all-too familiar? Hey, no one said being a working mom would be easy, but here are 5 steps to help you achieve that delicate Monday morning balance:

- - First and foremost, be prepared. If need be, pack your child’s lunch the night before. Give your child a bath the night before as well. Do your washing and ironing on the weekend so that all clothes are hung and ready to go; prepare at least 5 outfits for each member of the family over the weekend and have your husband and children assist you in the process.

- - Set your alarm clock 10-15 minutes earlier to allow yourself more time in the morning. If need be, go to bed 10-15 minutes earlier to make up for the time difference. Wake up before your kids to shower and dress.

-- Keep breakfast simple and healthy. If you feel that you just don’t have the time for breakfast, try keeping bananas (and other easy to eat fruit) and vitamin fortified cereal bars handy and ready to grab and go.

- - Set a routine for you and your family and stick with it. Our bodies crave routine and that’s a fact. Go to bed at the same time every night and wake up at the same time every morning. Sticking with a schedule will make it easier to effectively manage that Monday morning balancing act.

- - Divide your morning into phases. For example, phase 1: Eat Breakfast, phase 2: Get Dressed, etc. Set the phases in 15-30 minute time increments (phasing increments can vary, depending on the overall time you give yourself). Attempting to accomplish everything at once will only lead to chaos and confusion. Help your family stay within the proper phase and ask them to also pitch in and help. Encourage your family to stick to the morning phases to keep things running smoothly.

The key to achieving any balance, especially that Monday morning balance, is being prepared. Try a more organized approach to your Monday mornings and you will find that they turn out to be a lot smoother and less stressful for everyone.

Getting organized is not as hard as one may think. We all could use a little guidance every now and then.

Different Types Of Investing Bonds

2009-10-17T22:40:00.001-04:00

Investing in bonds is very safe, and the returns are usually very good. There are four basic types of bonds available and they are sold through the Government, through corporations, state and local governments, and foreign governments.

The greatest thing about bonds is that you will get your initial investment back. This makes bonds the perfect investment vehicle for those who are new to investing, or for those who have a low risk tolerance.

The United States Government sells Treasury Bonds through the Treasury Department. You can purchase Treasury Bonds with maturity dates ranging from three months to thirty years.

Treasury bonds include Treasury Notes (T-Notes), Treasury Bills (T-Bills), and Treasury Bonds. All Treasury bonds are backed by the United States Government, and tax is only charged on the interest that the bonds earn.

Corporate bonds are sold through public securities markets. A corporate bond is essentially a company selling its debt. Corporate bonds usually have high interest rates, but they are a bit risky. If the company goes belly-up, the bond is worthless.

State and local Governments also sell bonds. Unlike bonds issued by the federal government, these bonds usually have higher interest rates. This is because State and Local Governments can indeed go bankrupt – unlike the federal government.

State and Local Government bonds are free from income taxes – even on the interest. State and local taxes may also be waived. Tax-free Municipal Bonds are common State and Local Government Bonds.

Purchasing foreign bonds is actually very difficult, and is often done as part of a mutual fund. It is often very risky to invest in foreign countries. The safest type of bond to buy is one that is issued by the US Government.

The interest may be a bit lower, but again, there is little or no risk involved. For best results, when a bond reaches maturity, reinvest it into another bond.

Learning To Buy Diamonds Online

2009-10-17T22:06:00.002-04:00

With all of the potential for scams concerning diamonds, buying diamonds online almost seems unthinkable! However, you actually can purchase diamonds online, without any problems – as long as you are careful.

First, think about your reasons for wanting to purchase the diamond online, as opposed to making a purchase from a local jewelry store. The most common reason is price. Due to low overhead costs, online jewelers and wholesalers are able to offer lower prices. However, you must be careful – sometimes a price that is too low is a sure indication of a scam.

One of the best things about purchasing online is the unlimited selection. When
shopping offline, you are limited to the selection in the stores in your general area. Online, there are no limits. But again, you must use a great deal of care and
consideration before handing your money over to someone that you cannot see and
have never met!

Before shopping, learn as much as you can about diamonds – especially cut, color,
clarity and carat weights. When you are knowledgeable about diamonds, it will be
harder for a con artist to rip you off. Once you know more about diamonds, you will be ready to start shopping.

Take your time. Don’t purchase the first diamond that you see that interests you.
Instead, look for similar diamonds for sale. Do some comparison shopping to find the
lowest prices. Once you have found the lowest price, start doing your investigation.
You know about diamonds, you’ve found a diamond that you love, and you’ve found the
lowest price – but you are still quite a ways away from actually purchasing that diamond!

Ask about the seller’s credentials, such as professional jewelry associations that they belong to. View and print the seller’s return, refund, and upgrade policies. Also inquire about additional services, such as settings and mountings, sizing, and free shipping. Do a search for customer reviews on this particular company around the Internet. Also check with the BBB Online to see if there have been any complaints.

Ask for a diamond grading report from an independent laboratory such as GIA, HRD,
EGL or AGS. You should see this before making a purchase. Finally, use a reputable
escrow service for high dollar diamonds – preferably one that will have the diamond
appraised while it is in their possession. The seller sends the diamond to the escrow service, and you send the money to pay for the diamond to the escrow service.

The escrow service has the diamond appraised, sends the diamond to you, and sends the money to the seller. This is the surest way to protect yourself…again, make sure that you use a reputable escrow service!

Can You Relax With Yoga?

2009-10-16T19:41:00.002-04:00

Yoga without doubt will create a more relaxed feeling as well as supplying your mind with positive thoughts.

If you are new to yoga, these tips will start you on the road to a more centered life.

1. Find a yoga buddy. It’s nice to practice with someone and it will help reduce injuries. It’s also a great way to keep up your enthusiasm and interest.

2. Talk to your doctor and explain what type of yoga poses you intend to practice. Show your doctor pictures of the poses for illustration. Your doctor may rule out specific poses if you have high blood pressure, glaucoma, a history of retinal detachment, or heart disease. Make sure you follow your doctor’s recommendations.

3. Find a yoga class that best fits your abilities. Talk to prospective teachers, and decide whether of not you can handle a program before you sign up. It’s very important to take it one step at a time. Try a few beginner classes before you attempt more vigorous classes. Don’t move ahead too quickly. Allow your body to adjust to your exercises.

4. If you can’t find a class that meets your needs, you can always practice yoga at home. There are many books, programs, and tapes available to help you get started. Search for the best products on the Internet and read reviews. Talk to others for recommendations.

5. Listen to your body and be aware of your physical abilities. You don't want to hurt yourself. Make sure the instructor understands your level of experience and any limitations you may have. Don’t allow anyone to push you ahead too quickly. Remember, this is supposed to be fun and relaxing.

6. Why not try private lessons? You can book some one-on-one sessions with a teacher in your area. Most yoga instructors offer private classes or can help you design your own program. This is a good way to get started. You can always take group lessons or practice at home after you’ve had private lessons and learned the basics.

7. Eat lightly before practice. Wait at least two hours after meals before yoga class or practice. An empty stomach is best, but don’t let yourself get too hungry to think. You won't be able to focus on the poses or enjoy yourself during the relaxation or meditation exercises.

Each and every one of us experience being in all sorts of positions throughout the day whether it be sitting up, lying down, crouched or stooped. These are all part of your day to day activities but are they doing you good like Yoga positions do.

Impossible Is Just A Word

2009-09-21T18:35:00.000-04:00

Everyone, at some point of his or her life, has dreamed of being somebody special, somebody big. Who hasn't fantasized about being the one who hits the game-winning homer? Who hasn't dreamed of being the homecoming queen? And how many times have we dreamed of being rich, or successful, or happy with our relationships?

Often, we dream big dreams and have great aspirations. Unfortunately, our dreams remain just that – dreams. And our aspirations easily collect dust in our attic.

This is a sad turn of events in our life. Instead of experiencing exciting adventures in self actualization, we get caught up in the humdrum of living from day-to-day just barely existing.

But you know what? Life could be so much better, if only we learned to aim higher.

The most common problem to setting goals is the word impossible. Most people get hung up thinking I can't do this. It's too hard. It's too impossible. No one can do this.

However, if everyone thought that, there would be no inventions, no innovations, and no breakthroughs in human accomplishment.

Remember that scientists were baffled when they took a look at the humble bumblebee. Theoretically, they said, it was impossible for the bumblebee to fly. Unfortunately for the bumble, bee no one has told it so. So fly it does.

On the other hand, some people suffer from dreaming totally outrageous dreams and not acting on them. The result? Broken dreams, and tattered aspirations.

If you limit yourself with self-doubt, and self-limiting assumptions, you will never be able to break past what you deem impossible. If you reach too far out into the sky without working towards your goal, you will find yourself clinging on to the impossible dream.

Try this exercise. Take a piece of paper and write down some goals in your life. Under one header, list down things ‘you know you can do’. Under another header, write the things ‘you might be able to do.’ And under one more, list the things that that are ‘impossible for you to do.’

Now look at all the headers strive every day to accomplish the goals that are under things ‘you know you can do’. Check them when you are able to accomplish them. As you slowly are able to check all of your goals under that heading, try accomplishing the goals under the other header-the one that reads ‘you might be able to do.’

As of the items you wrote under things I could do are accomplished, you can move the goals that are under things that are ‘impossible for you to do’ to the list of things ‘you might be able to do.’

As you iterate through this process, you will find out that the goals you thought were impossible become easier to accomplish. And the impossible begin to seem possible after all.

You see, the technique here is not to limit your imagination. It is to aim high, and start working towards that goal little by little. However, it also is unwise to set a goal that is truly unrealistic.

Those who just dream towards a goal without working hard end up disappointed and disillusioned.

On the other hand, if you told someone a hundred years ago that it was possible for man to be on the moon, they would laugh at you. If you had told them that you could send mail from here to the other side of the world in a few seconds, they would say you were out of your mind. But, through sheer desire and perseverance, these impossible dreams are now realities.

Thomas Edison once said that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. Nothing could be truer. For one to accomplish his or her dreams, there has to be had work and discipline. But take note that that 1% has to be a think-big dream, and not some easily accomplished one.

Ask any gym rat and he or she will tell you that there can be no gains unless you are put out of your comfort zone. Remember the saying, “No pain, no gain”? That is as true as it can be.

So dream on, friend! Don’t get caught up with your perceived limitations. Think big and work hard to attain those dreams. As you step up the ladder of progress, you will just about find out that the impossible has just become a little bit more possible.

Beating Depression By Taking Action

2009-06-09T09:36:00.001-04:00

Depression can come on us at any time of the year. Sometimes, holidays are the worst times for those that feel this down-in-the-dumps fear and worry and things just seem to happen to make us feel gloomy and sad. Note that this feeling happens to all of us at one time or another. How to recognize the feeling and know what to do about it is the purpose of this article.

No one can or should ignore this feeling. It is universal and the blues are very much ingrained in our world. Music and movies are legendary in handling this subject. If the feeling is too overwhelming, then sometimes professional help is the desired action. We will just talk here about the funk of depression, the knotted thinking that nothing is right and it will only get worse. The following things are suggested to help:

1. Laughing is the best medicine is an old adage, but so true. It is amazing how when you are depressed, just laughing about something and releasing the stress, can make you feel better. If you are having trouble finding something to laugh about, maybe you can find some people to keep close that cheer you up, that you can call when you feel bad, those who you know will let you apply the "strength in numbers" theory. Invite a few good friends over just to talk and have an appetizer and you will see how much better you feel afterwards.

2. Listening to music is another key to overcoming depression. If you can just relax and let the type of music you love drift over you and enter your senses, you will find that you calm down and feel better. Even as babies in the womb, we respond to music. Maybe you will find you want to get up and dance and there is nothing wrong with that - even without a partner! Just move to the beat and let all your stress flow out of your fingertips and toes.

3. Do some work and you will find you feel less depressed. There is something about a clean bathroom, living room, or kitchen that gives most women a sense of pride and order and joy. Men sometimes enjoy doing some of the same work and experiencing the same attitudes. The point is you just need to get out and do something that moves your body. Maybe you can shoot hoops in the driveway, ride a bicycle through the neighborhood and say "HI" to a few of your neighbors. There is something to be said for just watching a sunset and realizing how mighty the world is and how we are just one part of it. That sometimes seems to put our troubles more in perspective.

4. While we are on that thought, why not try prayer when you feel depressed? Try helping out someone less fortunate. Think of hospital patients and know that they most likely have things worse than you. Yet, you see happier children and adults in some of the worst settings in the hospital. Count your blessings. Hug someone or maybe go through some old pictures of happy times with your family.

Doing productive activities will always perk you up. Think positively about your life and the things you have been given and do not dwell on the problems. Take your dog for a walk and relish in the animal's unending enjoyment at seeing you and being with you. Sometimes simple undemanding love is all we need to overcome the blue feeling.

The last suggestion may sound unusual, but here it is. EAT ICE CREAM! Yes, just swirling that cold stuff around on your tongue and all the different flavors can make you feel good! The idea is to eat something that you totally enjoy and see how hard it is to be depressed when you have your favorite food and are enjoying it. The world just seems a little better!

Of course, all the suggestions given above may not apply to everyone. But give them a try and who knows...maybe they can help just a little. Keep this list handy and the next time you are feeling a little down, find something that triggers the best response to get you to feel happy again. Be aware that when depression creeps in, you need to take action and beat the depression back to the corner where it belongs.

We all have more important things to do in life than feel blue and depressed. Keep this thought in-mind and may your life be filled with joy.

ACQUIRE POWER THROUGH SELF DEVELOPMENT

2009-04-28T07:32:00.000-04:00

It is the natural right of every human being to be happy to escape all the miseries of life. Happiness is the normal condition, as natural as the landscapes and the seasons. It is unnatural to suffer and it is only because of our ignorance that we do suffer. Happiness is the product of wisdom. To attain perfect wisdom, to comprehend fully the purpose of life, to realize completely the relationship of human beings to each other, is to put an end to all suffering, to escape every ill and evil that afflicts us. Perfect wisdom is unshadowed joy.

Why do we suffer in life? Because in the scheme of nature we are being forced forward in evolution and we lack the spiritual illumination that alone can light the way and enable us to move safely among the obstacles that lie before us. Usually we do not even see or suspect the presence of trouble until it suddenly leaps upon us like a concealed tiger. One day our family circle is complete and happy. A week later death has come and gone and joy is replaced with agony. Today we have a friend. Tomorrow he will be an enemy and we do not know why. A little while ago we had wealth and all material luxuries. There was a sudden change and now we have only poverty and misery and yet we seek in vain for a reason why this should be. There was a time when we had health and strength; but they have both departed and no trace of a reason appears. Aside from these greater tragedies of life innumerable things of lesser consequence continually bring to us little miseries and minor heartaches. We most earnestly desire to avoid them but we never see them until they strike us, until in the darkness of our ignorance we blunder upon them. The thing we lack is the spiritual illumination that will enable us to look far and wide, finding the hidden causes of human suffering and revealing the method by which they may be avoided; and if we can but reach illumination the evolutionary journey can be made both comfortably and swiftly. It is as though we must pass through a long, dark room filled with furniture promiscuously scattered about. In the darkness our progress would be slow and painful and our bruises many. But if we could press a button that would turn on the electric light we could then make the same journey quickly and with perfect safety and comfort.

The old method of education was to store the mind with as many facts, or supposed facts, as could be accumulated and to give a certain exterior polish to the personality. The theory was that when a man was born he was a completed human being and that all that could be done for him was to load him up with information that would be used with more or less skill, according to the native ability he happened to be born with. The theosophical idea is that the physical man, and all that constitutes his life in the physical world, is but a very partial expression of the self; that in the ego of each there is practically unlimited power and wisdom; that these may be brought through into expression in the physical world as the physical body and its invisible counterparts, which together constitute the complex vehicle of the ego's manifestation, are evolved and adapted to the purpose; and that in exact proportion that conscious effort is given to such self-development will spiritual illumination be achieved and wisdom attained. Thus the light that leads to happiness is kindled from within and the evolutionary journey that all are making may be robbed of its suffering.

Why does death bring misery? Chiefly because it separates us from those we love. The only other reason why death brings grief or fear is because we do not understand it and comprehend the part it plays in human evolution. But the moment our ignorance gives way to comprehension such fear vanishes and a serene happiness takes its place.

Why do we have enemies from whose words or acts we suffer? Because in our limited physical consciousness we do not perceive the unity of all life and realize that our wrong thinking and doing must react upon us through other people a situation from which there is no possible escape except through ceasing to think evil and then patiently awaiting the time when the causes we have already generated are fully exhausted. When spiritual illumination comes, and we no longer stumble in the night of ignorance, the last enemy will disappear and we shall make no more forever.

Why do people suffer from poverty and disease? Only because of our blundering ignorance that makes their existence possible for us, and because we do not comprehend their meaning and their lessons, nor know the attitude to assume toward them. Had we but the wisdom to understand why they come to people, why they are necessary factors in their evolution, they would trouble us no longer. When nature's lesson is fully learned these mute teachers will vanish.

And so it is with all forms of suffering we experience. They are at once reactions from our ignorant blunderings and instructors that point out the better way. When we have comprehended the lessons they teach they are no longer necessary and disappear. It is not by the outward acquirement of facts that men become wise and great. It is by developing the soul from within until it illuminates the brain with that flood of light called genius.

Popular Online Dating Tips For Men

2008-12-30T09:19:00.001-05:00

Heads up, gents. Online dating can open up new doors of opportunities with a little help from real world dating tips that work. Spice up your matchmaking with some of these ideas.

Looks Count
Comment on how attractive she is. Yes, women do want to know they are pretty, even if they’re online and you can’t see them and have no idea. So in your communications, ask questions that would help you know, but in an unobtrusive way like – how do you wear your hair? And then say how attractive that must look.

Kindness Counts
Point out nice things or the lemonade in life – nice things the other person has mentioned, nice acts the person has done, good things on the news latterly, etc. Be upbeat, and forget those lemons in life. Even in email a person can shout, by using all capital letters. So show manners and kindness. Keep swearing, unkind remarks, prejudice, etc. out of your communications. And “do unto others….”

So add some helpful real-world tips that do work (a lot of the time anyway) into your online dating equations. And come up on the positive side of romance – and enjoy more lemonade!

A Good Smelling Man – There is Nothing Better

2008-11-02T09:16:00.000-05:00

There really is nothing better than a man who smells fantastic, one that you can't get close enough to, and one you never want to leave. The fragrance industry over the years has designed some wonderful and alluring scents for men. There are now more than just a few choices of men's cologne in the fragrance department in the shopping mall. However, most people still reach for the tried and true when it comes to men's cologne.

Stetson is the company who has brought us the fragrances of what a man should smell like. When a person thinks of masculine scents, real man scents, Stetson is what comes to mind. Over the years they have produced and added some truly amazing scents to their collection.

Stetson Original is the legendary scent of the American West. It's a rich and masculine blend of both rugged woods and spice. If you are looking for something a little more sexy and sophisticated yet still exude the American West, give Stetson Black a try. It's warm spices and fresh woods, masculine with just a hint of leather and suede notes, a sexy, intense, irresistible fragrance.

Nothing says American West like a cowboy. While out taming wild Mustangs Stetson Untamed is the scent for the intense thrill-seeking cowboy. Untamed combines bergamot with the masculine notes of cedar, suede, and oak. If you don't have a cowboy waiting in the wings, but have always wanted one, give the gift of Untamed. You won't be disappointed.

If you are looking for something a little bit different yet still from the legendary fragrance line of Stetson, try the Stetson Sierra. This fragrance is a bold Western fragrance with a blend of citrus, sage, and fresh green woods. A bold and masculine scent. Do you know someone masculine enough to wear it?

The newest fragrance Stetson has added to their line is Fresh. This scent was inspired by water, the brisk air, and the beautiful lush greenery of the mountains. The light blend of spices and citrus woods makes this a wonderful addition to the Stetson line.

When buying cologne for yourself or to give as a gift there really is a magnitude of scents to choose from. However, most men reach for the tried and true, masculine scents. The fragrances that were designed with the alpha males and the men's men in mind, the fragrances that will make the women smile and keep thinking of you long after the date is over. Stetson has the market when it comes to cologne for men.

Help and Self-Help for Depression

2008-10-25T21:43:00.001-04:00

How complimentary therapies can help

A wide range of therapies can help depression. However, it is important that you have regular treatments and if need be adjust your lifestyle.

Reiki

A form of Japanese spiritual healing, Reiki helps to rebalance the whole body and therefore helps with any physical or emotional problems. For maximum benefit, Reiki needs to be carried out on a regular basis. However, if you decide to become “attuned”, you can actually reiki yourself every day and it won’t cost you anything (other than the cost of being attuned of course)

Tai Chi

This is a really a moving form of meditation. It is a good relaxation therapy said to help with stress-related conditions such as depression. Once you have learnt the moves from an experienced teacher you can then practice them by yourself.

Bach Flower Remedies

Dr Edward Bach discovered the 38 flower remedies which help with emotional problems. You can take the remedies directly from the bottle, dilute them in water or even apply them neat to the lips, wrists or ears. Rescue Remedy which is made up of 5 different remedies is probably the most useful for depression.
Again, if you need any more information please contact me

Naturopathy

Naturopaths will usually concentrate on 4 areas of your life: diet, toxin levels, lifestyle and your emotional state. They are able to help you by introducing new ways of thinking and drawing up an action plan for the depressed person.

Herbal Medicine – St John’s Wort

St John’s Wort has become increasingly popular as an alternative to anti- depressants. One of its main benefits is that from a clinical point of view it doesn’t have any side effects or withdrawal symptoms. It is not known exactly why it works but it is thought it may help to boost levels of the brain chemical serotonin which is low in depression sufferers.

Ways to help yourself

• Ask for help – it is not a sign of failure to feel this low, a doctor or counsellor will understand. Asking for help is a positive step in the right direction not a negative!

• Try to get out, even though all you may want to do is stay at home

• Eat properly – difficult when you have lost your appetite but it is very important

• Talk to someone about your feelings especially if you are feeling suicidal

• Be aware of thing you enjoy doing and do them as opposed to just doing chores

• Get plenty of exercise – it lifts your spirits and helps you to sleep better

• Avoid drowning your sorrows in alcohol – it is a depressant and may react with any medication you are taking

• Get in contact with self-help groups; meeting people with similar
problems can help you see things from a different perspective

• It is important to remember that many people have recovered from depression and you can too, although you may not believe this now; also some people come out of depression stronger and more able to cope – you could be one of those!!

Ways to help others

It’s not easy living with a depressed person and unless you have had depression yourself it is extremely hard to understand exactly how the person is feeling…here are some tips which may help

• Encourage the person to seek help from their doctor or a counsellor

• Support and sympathize as much as you can but you must make time for yourself!

• Be wary of criticizing the person and avoid comments like “pull yourself together” – that really will not work!

• Remind yourself that this person can’t help being down and difficult to live with

• Remember for most people depression doesn’t stay with them for ever, it is a temporary state of mind

• If you need to talk to someone to help you cope – do it!!

TOP TIP: Holistic Therapies Spain says; Different things help different people but the following may be useful for most people: friendship, exercise, well balanced diet, soothing music, and hands-on therapies such as massage or reiki.

Fighting Your Fears

2008-10-08T16:21:00.001-04:00

Most of us have experienced each of the fears mentioned or seen other people experience them. They can have a dramatic effect on individuals and the world in which we live…

Take some time to think about yourself and your life…what aspects are you unhappy with and would like to change? What fears lie behind these aspects? It is not always easy to identify fears as they can be subtle, persuasive or addictive silently directing your behaviour. Recognising them and their influence can be complex and may involve taking a long, hard look at your life.

Fear encourages us to stay stuck and not to embrace change. The more you dislike or avoid change the greater your underlying fears. If the unexpected disturbs you, then fear is holding you in its grip.

For most of us overcoming our fears (of whatever) takes time and we also need a real desire to want to put the fear to bed.

The following sayings are ones that I have found useful over the last few years – if any resonate with you put them where you can refer to them regularly and keep repeating them to yourself.

Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness

Ships in harbour are safe but that is not what ships are for

Security is not having things, it’s handling things

Whenever you feel “I am afraid” replace it with “ I am excited”

Replace “I am vulnerable” with “I am protected”

Meditate to help release your fears

Here is a simple meditation which you can do to help release any fears you may have. Start by deciding which fear is the one you would most like to get rid of now…there is no need to rush the meditation, just go forward at a gentle and unhurried pace.

• Focus on the specific fear
• Breathe slowly in and out, visualizing your breath washing the fear until it is totally transparent
• When you have done this, see the fear in your mind’s eye burst into flames and burn itself out
• As it is burning, feel peaceful energy flow out of your heart and into the rest of your body, your mind and your daily life
• As you practice, you will feel a weight being lifted from your shoulders and your fear will lose its sting
• As you become aware of this, breathe slowly and see yourself covered in a halo of flames which cannot hurt you but which are just burning away all obstructions

Counselling Spain says: Remember, when you worry about things or are scared of something happening you create negative energy and according to the spiritual law of attraction you will end up attracting the things you don’t want into your life…

Can Debt Consolidation Improve Your Credit Score?

2008-08-31T06:32:00.001-04:00

The answer to that question is if payments of the loan are made regularly and the borrower adheres to the terms of the loan. The duration is usually a few years so that can show consistency in the repayment, which helps the person’s credit score.

Obviously, the borrower’s credit score can also be hurt if the payments aren’t made consistently. The term of the consolidation loan is usually one or two years and the borrower won’t see fast improvement of his credit score, but it will happen slowly. If the borrower got the loan to pay off credit cards and keeps any of the cards—it will be important to protect the newer improved credit score by keeping the current credit cards payments up to date and charges should be minimized and make full payments.

Another point for the borrower to remember is to handle his current and future financial moves within his budget. Creditors will be watching for a realistic approach as to how the consumer handles his finances. Doing all of these things right will be a good reflection on the consumer’s credit score.

Getting the debt consolidation loan, making payments on time, and adhering to the terms could be in vain, if the consumer doesn’t learn to control spending urges like impulse spending. There was a time when using a debt consolidation company to get out of debt was a negative factor on a consumer’s credit score. That’s because this information was reported to the credit bureau by the creditors and it was not considered a good way to pay off bills. All of that has changed. There are many debt management companies that are reputable today.

Having many credit cards can be detrimental to the consumer’s credit score and that worsens if he is only making the minimum payment on each of them. Of course, being late hurts too. By getting a debt consolidation loan to pay off his credit cards the consumer can get a better interest rate that can help him in the long haul to pay less interest.

If the consumer decides to get loans in the future his best action is to check his credit score ahead of time at all three of the credit reporting agencies. Sometimes there are mistakes on the report that could prevent the consumer from getting a loan. For instance, a paid off credit card may not have been removed. Since he has his credit cleaned up he will be wise to keep it that way and check his credit report periodically to see if everything on it is correct. He can also greatly improve his credit score by keeping his credit cards down to no more than three cards.

This can be a good solution for people with many debts and high interest rates. This method can even keep the consumer from needing to file for bankruptcy. It’s easy to see that if used wisely a debt consolidation loan can improve a person’s credit

Increasing Self-Confidence and Problem Solving

2008-08-25T14:44:00.003-04:00

Oddly enough, for many, there is rarely a day that goes by where we procrastinate making a decision because we experience a lack of self-confidence or feelings of self-doubt.

The standards set, while growing up into adulthood, had most of us depending on others - parents, teachers, and relatives - for direction and guidance that set up our self-image and levels of confidence. Unfortunately, during that period of time, we experienced more no's than yes's. As a result we either rebelled or we succumb to the expectations of others - looking to them for approval -- embedding in us expectation levels of perfectionism and shaping our self-image.

As adults, to function in a competitive world, requires that we be less dependent on looking to others for approval. The drive to win approval, through perfection, sets in motion negative procrastination and a stressful existence. When we drop the notion that we must live up to others expectation of being perfect, we then begin to build our inner strength of self-confidence.

When we overcome the lack of self-confidence and feelings of self-doubt, then problem solving and decision making, becomes second nature to us. True self-confidence comes about by understanding our abilities, strengths and having the willingness to change what we choose.

"Change" is a word that runs the gambit of drudging up feelings from anger, bitterness, hopelessness and pain to happiness, relief and pleasure.

However, bringing everything into consideration, you and me and everyone else on this planet is in the problem solving business - and to be effective in delivering problem solving solutions we need, a well developed, self-confidence. Therefore let me say that living in an economy based on innovation -- an economy in which you can win big simply by out thinking the competition -- self-confidence and decision making is paramount to success.

Now, let me give you an exemplary example of someone who embodies such characteristic traits of self-confidence and problem solving.

Frederick W. Smith, Chairman, President, and CEO, FedEx Corporation; describes his creation of a central clearinghouse, along with a hub-and-spoke system of dissemination, enabled FedEx to deliver, point-to-point, anywhere in the United States -- absolutely, positively overnight. Smith said: "We thought that we were selling the transportation of goods; in fact, we were selling peace of mind." - Fred Smith's focus and self-confidence was a force in his innovation and problem solving solutions.

Here are several methods for increasing your self-confidence and problem solving abilities according to Brian M. Alman and Peter Lambrou, Ph.D.'s

** First, identify which area of your life spawns the most self-doubt, the least self-confidence. - Your work, people of the opposite sex, parents, a boss, spouse, etc.

** Second, select which area you want to work on first. Set reasonable objectives and focus on one specific circumstance in which you feel self-doubt.

** Third, go into a state of quiet relaxation to do some inner examination, some self-exploration. Imagine an old situation with someone whose approval you sought, but now imagine a new actions stemming from your perceptions of self-confident behavior.

** Forth, where you had self-doubt, now see yourself with self-confidence giving yourself positive self-suggestion to reinforce the change you want to accomplish.

Don L. Price - Coaching Minds To Succeed - Professional Speaker, Sales/Marketing & High Performance Mental Fitness Coach, Speaker and Author of Secrets of Personal Marketing Power.

Guidelines for Preventing Identity Theft

2008-08-18T14:56:00.002-04:00

Preventing identity theft is not a difficult task, as you simply have to put common sense into practice. Whenever you are through with any mail, prescription bottles or any other trash that contains your personal information you should shred what you can and black out info on pieces that cannot be shredded. This keeps those thieves who dig in trash searching for info to be left dirty and empty handed.

You also have to protect your information online. If you are interested in any information online that requires you to provide personal information, never provide your bank account or social security number. There are scam artists who will take your personal information and sell it to those who will use it to make purchases in your name running your credit.

You should also be wary when you use your credit cards or checks when shopping protect the visibility of these numbers as there are scam artists who will photograph your banking information for fraud use.

By following simple guidelines such as these you can ensure your personal information is safe from the eyes and hands of those who are up to no good. You should also be aware of your credit reports and what is on them as you can view for any criminal occurrences and report them if necessary.

Far too many times we believe that this can't happen to us but if you look you will find that your neighbor or even your sibling has had a level of this happen to you.

If you are looking for further information about identity theft, you can find an abundance of information online. By taking the time to provide yourself with knowledge of identity theft than you know how to protect yourself. Prevention is key to not becoming a victim of identity theft.

Breaking Free From Self-Limiting Habits

2008-08-15T15:48:00.000-04:00

'We need to think differently to shift our paradigms
to a new, deeper, "inside-out" level'; Stephen R. Covey

In the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey describes habits as "consistent, often unconscious patterns which constantly, daily express our character and produce our effectiveness, or ineffectiveness".

Who we are and what we become is a direct result of our habits. It is in the realm of habits that our character is born, nurtured and outwardly expressed. What we see from the outside is a direct reflection of those deeply embedded habits that have gradually, steadily and consistently ingrained themselves into our psyche. Our behavior is therefore informed by these habits, which with time become so deeply ingrained into our minds that changing them is like attempting to break mountains with bare hands.

Breaking free from these deeply-embedded habits is a tall order, especially if they have been acquired over a long period of time. The longer it takes to acquire certain habits, the more difficult it is to break them. And this is not necessarily a bad thing; especially if the habits acquired are positive. Positive habits should be encouraged, even developed where they are lacking.

According Mike Bressica, success comes from behaviors, which start out as thoughts. To change your habits or behaviors, you will need to have different thoughts. What occupies your mind; your thoughts; propels you to behave in a certain way. If you don't like the results of your behavior, all you need to do is to change your thoughts. The Bible talks of renewing our mind as a way of transforming ourselves into good, acceptable and perfect people that always seek to do the will of God (Rom 12.2).

Renewing or shifting from our current thoughts to those that we desire brings about transformation or change in our lives. This is what is known as having a paradigm shift; adopting a new way of thinking, of doing things, of behavior.

The good thing about habits is that they are acquired over time through learning, nuances, brainwashing and experiences. Since they are acquired, they can be replaced by changing the thought patterns that fostered them in the first place.

To replace negative, self-limiting thought patterns, which Mike Bressica calls "mental patterns of failure", we must set as a first goal to reduce the impact of these patterns. And this cannot be done overnight. Just as it took time to acquire these mental patterns of failure, it will take time to release them and replace them with 'mental patterns of success'.

Paul talking to the Church in Rome expressed his frustration with his inability to rein in his patterns of failure. It appeared to him that he was fighting a losing battle with his mind as he found himself doing the very evil that he did not want to do; and not doing the good that he wanted to (Romans 7: 19).

Like so many of us, Paul was at a crossroad. On one side lay the old self-limiting patterns of failure; and on the other, his desire to release these negative patterns, which always led him to do evil, and replace them with those that would propel him into a transformed life of doing good.

Highly successful people are those who rid themselves of their patterns of failure by brushing off distractions. When you have no pattern of failure limiting your progress, you are able to overcome temporary setbacks at the thought level. Since the battle for success is won or lost at the thought level, your success or failure in this arena is what makes you successful or unsuccessful. Success comes naturally when you learn how to control your thought patterns. As Bressica says, if you muster the art of thought control, you will not be 'tempted to act opposite to what you know is best. You can keep fear at a minimum. Doubt is nowhere to be found.'

But how do you unlearn limiting thought patterns that you have picked up from childhood? How do you break down inscrutable blocks of negative habits that have been distilled and cemented into your psyche since childhood? To merely tell you to change your paradigm would be as vain as telling a hungry person to be filled without giving him food to eat. What we hear, see, experience or sense has a direct bearing on the formation of our habits; which are informed by thoughts, and which are then acted out in the form of behavior.

Thoughts are the foundation on which our habits are formed. These habits, depending on their nature, in turn inform our actions or behavior; and success or lack of it solely depends on the actions we take. To take that crucial first step in starting your own business, you must first of all unlearn the employee mentality and start seeing yourself as a successful entrepreneur.

But to achieve this paradigm shift is no mean fit. What with years of being told to study hard so that, when you grow up, you will get a good job? To break away from this mold of thinking and start seeing or thinking yourself as a successful business person requires much more than positive affirmations such as 'I can do it'. If 'I can do it' is out of tandem with your thought pattern, then, try as much as you will, you can’t do it.

Confident Public Speaking: Check This "Avoid At All Costs" List

2008-07-21T14:30:00.003-04:00

In the pursuit of confident public speaking skills, it is important to accept that nervousness may never be completely eliminated in some public speakers. This is not necessarily bad. A certain amount of nervousness can be positively channeled to enhance performance.

Nevertheless, confident public speaking does involve learning not to betray one's nervousness through obvious body signals.

Familiarize yourself with the items in the list below and either check yourself through a video playback of your next presentation or have a close friend or colleague critique your presentation by looking out for these indicators that betray a lack of confidence in public speaking.

Mannerisms and Awkward Gestures

As well as destroying your professionalism, they can be very distracting for an audience. Get a friend or partner to alert you if you begin doing any of the following:

stand with one leg wrapped around the other
stand on the sides of one's shoes
keep touching the nose, mouth, ears, or any part of the face
lean on the speaker's stand using it as a prop
keep putting hands in and out of pockets
fiddling with one's wrist watch
repeatedly swallowing
buttoning and unbuttoning the jacket
standing with hands clasped behind the back

Visual Aid Dangers

If you use a flip chart, whiteboard, or projection screen, avoid constantly fiddling with the marker pen, mouse, or projector control as if they were worry beads. This can be distracting and betray a certain nervousness.

Far better to have your hands free, only picking up the marker or control when you intend to use it and then put it back again on the table or speaker's stand.

Using your hands deliberately for descriptive or emphatic gestures will be far more effective than haphazardly waving a marker pen or projector control in the air.

What Do You Do With Your Hands?

Confident public speaking means you know what to do you with your hands.

When you are not using them to gesture, let them hang by your side loosely and naturally. They won't remain there for long if you are giving an animated presentation.

Your hands and arms will frequently be moving, gesturing, but in between times, just let them hang loose, ready and waiting.

Concentrate On Ideas

Confident public speaking involves the ability to concentrate on expressing your IDEAS rather than exact words. Doing this will go a long way in helping you avoid the mannerisms noted above.

This will allow your delivery to flow which makes it easy on the ears and listenable as opposed to a stop/start style of delivery.

Apart from your introduction and conclusion which require more attention to exact wording, thorough preparation and total immersion in your subject will allow you to speak extemporaneously without worrying overly about exact word choice.

The latter can result in a speaker gazing into the air fumbling for the right word which in time will destroy the concentration of the audience.

Even if you don't feel you are confident in public speaking, you don't have to advertise the fact. Use the checklist above to spot and avoid obvious signs of nervousness and you will at least leave the audience relaxed and engrossed rather than distracted.

Drawing What You Need Towards You

2008-07-15T14:45:00.000-04:00

I walked away with my tail between my legs. Sure, the error was all mine. I had a list of people I'd spoken to and one name was really obscure and neither Jo nor I knew who they were.

I sat down and thought about it. 'Who are you?' I asked. 'Make yourself known to me again?'

With that I turned my attention to other matters. That's when the phone rang and the person on the list revealed themselves to me.

Now if we want to be cynical we could say that the materialisation of that phone call was just coincidence - that this person just happened to call and remind me who they were. But what are the chances?

First, I just happened to have written the name badly on the list. Second, Jo just happened to spot my error. Third, we just happened to be discussing the person. Fourth, I just happened to ask for that person to make themselves known to me again. And it all just happened to happen, in the space of an hour.

What odds would you give on that happening?

This kind of thing happens to me too often for me to doubt that there is some greater connection going on between all our minds - a higher awareness.

How does it work?

First we ask for things. Second we have to be consciously aware of what's happening to us. It's important that we follow events as they unfold rather than letting our mind get in the way. It's also important to do it with a sense of humour and to celebrate in some way when the universe provides.

As soon as our mind gets in the way we break the chain of events and distort what the universe is creating - often ending up with something we didn't want.

When we put our attention on finding a solution or a person we are brought into connection with minds - sometimes people we know, sometimes people we didn't know - who are prepared to answer our call for help.

These people have the will to help, if you have the will to let them in. What often occurs when our call is answered is a discussion to see if help is possible. Oddly, as a quirk of human nature, we sometimes repel people who come to help and either we reject them or they decide they just cannot help us.

While I know synchronicity happens, I'm in no way attached to it happening. I put out a call for things and get on with life. There is no hankering. I ask, then I read, jog, make phone calls or do whatever I have to do while staying open to what happens.

I think it's fair to say that attachment to an outcome is the biggest block that can get in the way. The times in my life when I've had no money are the hardest times to create money. When I've been in pain, it's hard to imagine no pain.

But each time I've asked for a person to show up who can guide me (that's guide me - not do for me), they've shown up and helped me. From their life got better.

You'll find some very simple tips below. Please take note, this is a very simple version I'm giving you because all our situations differ. This basic outline is however workable for us all.

1. Think of one think that you feel you life needs right now.

2. Be clear on what you want.

3. Write it down

4. See it happening in the mind.

5. Now go about your daily life, aware that answers will come to direct you.

6. Keep doubt out. Stay positive.

Love and good wishes
Neil

CommunitySoul - Neil Fellowes

Goal Setting 101

2008-06-30T16:23:00.000-04:00

We all have goals. Some goals are long-term and some are short-term. Some are goals we have shelved for so long they are dusty and covered with cobwebs. Some are freshly minted. However for those of us who are not as successful in life as we would wish we often despair of achieving our goals. Some goals seem out-of-reach and unattainable. This does not have to be what actually happens. We have the power within ourselves to change our lives and the place to begin is when we are setting our goals.

There are simple rules that make it more likely for us to achieve our goals and the first is to follow the K.I.S.S. principle. In other words, keep it simple stupid. The more elaborate and complicated we make our goals then the less likely we will be to follow through with them.

The best way to simplify your goal setting is to only set one goal -- the ultimate goal. After that then everything else is just details. What is the ultimate goal? What is your final destination? When you are on your deathbed and you cast a look back over your life then what do you want to see accomplished there? When you look around you what do you want to see? That vision is your ultimate goal.

We all know that having a destination in mind makes traveling easier. Knowledge of that destination helps us plan what to pack and controls our transportation decisions. The same is true when it comes to setting goals and achieving those goals. If we know our destination then we know what to pack (and what to leave behind) and we can make better decisions about how to reach that destination. Simplifying our goals to that one ultimate goal also helps us focus on that one destination rather than constantly detouring and losing our way. It also makes it easier to measure the importance and relevance of so many other decisions that impact our daily life when we have the measuring stick. If we take Path A or Path B which will be more effective in reaching that ultimate destination?

Naming that ultimate goal for ourselves is a tremendously powerful tool for our own success because so often we spend our time and energy focusing on managing the details of our lives. We are simply reacting to whatever is thrown at us by others or simply by daily life. However in order to truly achieve success and achieve our goals then we must take the lead and that means acting. Simply by setting our ultimate goal and focusing our energy and time on that goal means that instead of reacting we are now taking action. That action means we have taken a leadership role in our own success. Simply by taking that action we are taking control of our own life and that is a very powerful step toward success.

If you want to achieve more success in your life then you must set one simple goal -- the ultimate goal for your life -- and you must get out in front of the goal to take action with your life instead of reacting all your life.

Deanna Mascle shares more motivational and inspirational messages through her Advice Column blog at http://justfolks.net.

Navigate Through Life With Goals

2008-06-30T16:15:00.001-04:00

Why are setting goals important? Everything activity we undertake has a goal. For example:

1. Playing golf has a goal.
2. Watching TV has a goal. Its goal is for entertainment, or (as some of us would believe) for relaxation.
3. Reading a book has a goal. Its goal is for knowledge, relaxation, increasing vocabulary.
4. Going to work has a goal. It has a personal goal, a career/professional goal.
5. Spending time with family has a goal.
6. Choosing to do nothing has a goal. Its goal may be to seriously do nothing after a hectic day.
7. Exercising has a goal. Its goal is to keep fit, look good, feel good.

The list goes on. Every activity we undertake has a goal. It is whether we are conscious of it or not. It also becomes overwhelming when you realise there are so many goals.

As written in my previous post, take goal setting and execution a step at a time. If you have never done goal setting and execution before, focus on one or two categories for a start. Take action on each of these on a daily basis. Let me repeat that, take action on a daily basis. In this way, you will begin to achieve your goal and gain confidence to set new and loftier goals!

Why are goals important? Many will say that it provides direction in life. It provides us with clarity to what we want and where we are headed. There is another important aspect of goals.

Our goals help provide us with a balanced life. Most of us will work very hard at our careers, and maybe spend little time on family, health, wealth, hoping that our careers will take care of all our others worries. 'Hope' is not a strategy. You have to take control of your own life and destiny.

By setting our goals, we own part of our destiny. By taking action towards our goal, we are creating our destiny. Goals provide us with a more balanced view of our lives. Review your goals daily. When you see that you are actively taking small steps towards your goal, you will feel a sense of great satisfaction with yourself. Review of your goals help you to take stock of where you are in life. With every small active step taken towards your goal achievement, it inspires you to push on to achieve your dreams, no matter the size of your dream.

Importance and size of your goal is of no concern. To each his own. Its what's important to you that counts, not what others say.

If you are a parent, share your goals and dreams with your children and family. Tell them the small steps you have taken towards your goal. It shows them that goals with no execution remains only a dream. Let them share their dreams with you frequently and help them to take positive action. Reviewing daily helps them become the dream. They will live the dream and the dream goal becomes real. It inspires them to take more action and in time, achieve their goals.

Use this technique of sharing and reviewing goals with your friends, or staff at work and you will be amazed at the difference it makes when an organization knows its goals and sees progress being made daily.

There is so much merit in setting goals. The sad part is that many set it once and re-set it again one year later. Many begin executing the actions only to have their efforts fizzle out.

If you simply review your goals without reviewing the actions taken to get closer to achieving your goals, its not much use. You will not be inspired. Review your goals and actions daily. Change course if you need to. Its your life and your goals after all. Reviewing your actions daily will give you the inspiration to take more action.

Actions speak louder than words. Setting goals without taking action is as good as writing in water (which leaves no trace of what you wrote). Go ahead. Take action today. Take action now. Do not wait. Take action, no matter how small the action it. Take action now and you will feel the momentum created, pushing you to take more action until you achieve your goals.

---------------------------
Copyright © Bernard Ong, 2006.
All Rights Reserved

Bernard Ong is an IT professional interested in helping others by sharing his experience on time management and effectiveness topics. Bernard writes about his interest at http://www.bernard-ong.com. Copyright Bernard Ong, 2006. All rights reserved.

Stop Putting Up With Stuff

2008-06-23T15:37:00.001-04:00

Someone interrupts you while you are speaking. Your child raises his voice at you. A person speaks to you in a way you find offensive. Other people take credit for your ideas. You keep working longer and longer hours at work. Your family is constantly late coming to the dinner table. If you've experienced any of these scenarios, then it is time to stop putting up with stuff. It's time to strengthen your boundaries.

Boundaries are imaginary lines that surround and protect you and your goals from others. Anything that annoys you or makes you upset is often a crossed boundary. When your boundaries are weak, it may feel as if people are taking advantage of you or not respecting you. These feelings can often be damaging to one's self-esteem. They can also cause unneeded anxiety, stress and resentment. When you take the time to define and strengthen your boundaries, at home and at work, you will find yourself in a generally happier and calmer state.

Determining how others may interact with you, sticking to clear work hours and deciding your limits are all boundaries that will keep negative influences out of your way. Keep in mind boundaries are invisible. To effectively enforce your boundaries they must be communicated to those around you

Communicate Boundaries Gracefully

This seven-step process, keyed to the acronym RESPECT works every time. When you are communicating yoru boundaries, ensure you start the conversation with your voice devoid of any emotion. The tone of voice you use should be similar to how you sound when making a comment on the weather -- calm and confident.

R – Recognize your boundaries are being crossed. Stop others as they start to cross the line. "Excuse me."

E – Educate others that they are violating your boundary. "Do you realize you are yelling at me."

S – Stop. Request that others stop. "I’d like you to stop yelling at me."

P – Promote. Tell others how your limits can be respected. "Please speak to me calmly.”

E - Embrace others for cooperating. "Thank you for respecting my wishes."

If they are not cooperative, add these last steps. This very rarely happens. In most cases, people change their behavior after step two.

C – Command that they stop “I insist that you stop raiding yoru voice to me.” If nothing changes, then call it quits.

T – Take off. Leave the situation. “I can’t have this conversation while you are yelling at me. I am going to leave the room. Let’s talk about this when we are not as upset.”

In some cases, people won't respect your boundaries even after you ask them to. But remember you are no longer putting up with anything from anyone so you might have to walk away from some individuals and situations. The only way to truly start taking better care of yourself is to let go of things that don't work for you.

© Copyright 2006. Lisa Martin. All rights reserved.

Breaking Free From Self-Limiting Habits

2008-06-16T12:14:00.000-04:00

Overcoming Performance Anxiety

2008-06-09T14:47:00.004-04:00

Everybody suffers from anxiety at some point or anther. Anxiety is just a normal part of everyday life. It can actually be a useful emotion in helping us to cope with stressful situations. Other times, anxiety can be out of control and interfere with our ability to function normally in stressful situations even if the stress is just manufactured in our minds.

There will always be reasons to feel anxious. All ages experience anxiety. Children feel it in school before a test; even young babies feel it when separated from their mothers. Adults have plenty of opportunities to feel anxious whether it is from a job, finances, romance, or due to being self conscious.

Sometimes anxiety comes about because people have to do something they fear doing. One of the most common anxiety producing experiences is when it comes to public speaking. Many people fear being in front of the public, either as a speaker or just as someone being singled out or noticed in a crowd.

Do you have a fear of speaking in public or performing on a stage? If so, you could be suffering from a type of performance anxiety. Do you have any of the following apply to you? If so, you may have performance anxiety.

-Worry about looking foolish in front of other people and being laughed at?

-Worry that people can see how nervous you are?

-Suffer from stage fright if you have to speak in front of others or perform onstage.

-Experience anxiety in advance of the event simply from anticipating your fears.

-Feel immediate and intense fear upon learning you need to perform in public.

-Attempt to get out of public performances or not show up if you can’t get out of it.

-Missed out on opportunities because of your fear of being in the public spotlight.

Performance anxiety is actually all in the mind of the sufferer. After all, not everyone fears going on stage, there is no danger in doing so. The fear comes from imagined dangers such as feeling like you are not smart enough or good enough to avoid ridicule. So the way to overcome your performance anxiety is to change your way of thinking.

There are four steps involved in overcoming performance anxiety. Let’s take a look at them below.

Step one: Self Assessment

-Get to know yourself, both as a person and as a performer.

-Identify the problem thoughts that are holding you back and creating anxiety.

Step two: Exposure and Preparation

-Find opportunities for limited performance exposure but not to the point your anxiety kicks in.

-Practice your speech or performance. Tape it and watch yourself. Practice until you have it down pat. Always be totally prepared before giving your performance so you feel confident.

-Learn relaxation techniques and practice them right before your performance.

Step three: The Performance

-Visualize the audience as friends and family that wish you well.

-Don’t think of yourself. Think of the audience.

-Stay calm and enjoy yourself.

Step four: After the Performance

-Don’t criticize yourself no matter what happens.

-Congratulate yourself for doing your best.

-Reward yourself for making progress

Train yourself to change your thoughts and instead of worrying about what people will think, just go ahead and imagine they are thinking good things about you. Imagine yourself as self confident and thoroughly capable of completing the performance. As you change your thinking, you will see your performance anxiety start to slip away.

Your Career in 2008 – Get a Fresh Start

2008-05-27T15:20:00.000-04:00

As the New Year approaches, have you thought about your career goals? What worked to years ago in planning and managing your career will not work for your career development in the 21st Century. Managing your career in the 21st Century requires preparation, career goal planning and career guidance and ensuring that your time is directed meaningfully.

Here is how to find enjoyment and continue to progress in your career.

1. Determine if your present job is in line with who you are, what you value, and what you are good at. Are you really doing what you want to do? Being self-aware means you become clear about what you stand for and what you have to offer. When you know what you have to offer, you become more powerful and intentional in your work. Doing a good job is no longer good enough to guarantee your career will go well. You are your most important asset. Self-branding provides direction and clarity of purpose for how you work, not just what you do for a living.

2. Identify your job satisfiers and dissatisfiers. Find a way to do more of the tasks/projects that you enjoy.

3. Identify your accomplishments.

4. Take the time to build and maintain relationship with individuals who might impact your work. You will benefit personally and professionally from the time you invest in such relationships.

5. Determine and write down your vision for your professional life. What actions do you need to take that will get you there? Celebrate the steps you take daily to achieve your vision. You can create the life you want! Here are some ways you can do that:

* Keep work in perspective - remember how you left work on time in the summer?

* Manage your stress - identify what causes you stress and how it affects you.

* Take time out - close your door (if you have one), call forward your phone, turn off your e-mail, take a walk. Use this time "during your work day" to prepare for a big meeting, a presentation or work on a project.

* Delegate - are you spending too much time on the administrative process of your job and not utilizing your skills to benefit your long-term goals and your company's goals?

* Work/Play Balance - what did you enjoy doing during the summer that you want to continue (going to the movies, playing tennis, volunteering, spending time with your kids, seeing friends, etc.)? Put it on your schedule.

6. Be Bold! Don’t be afraid to take on some responsibilities in positions above you. Aim to always exceed expectations.

7. Manage your own time. Set boundaries. Learn to say "no" to non-essential use of your time.

8. Look for way to do things better, and more efficiently. Change a routine task - develop a new process. Instead of handling your e-mails as you get them, set aside specific times during the day to respond.

9. Be great at what you do. The knowledge and skill that create success in your current job will position you for your next move.

10.Be aware of roadblocks that can limit your potential to move upward.

11.Take on projects that will most likely benefit you.

12.Have passion for what you are doing and working toward. You will automatically put more effort into it. If you are not feeling passionate about your work ask yourself: is what you “should’ be doing interfering with what you want to be doing?

Remember! Your career must contribute to your life, not the other way around!

Copyright 2006, Cecile Peterkin. All rights reserved.

Cecile Peterkin is a Certified Career, Life Coach and Speaker. She is also author of The Career Athlete - The Elite guide for career success. Feeling stuck in middle management or in mid career? Kick your career into high gear! Sign up for the Career Guidance Bootcamp or the FR-EE Introduction teleclass now at http://www.CosmicCoachingCentre.com/introteleclass.html.

Weight Loss and Staying Motivated

2008-05-21T10:33:00.000-04:00

Trying to lose weight has probably got to be the single most difficult thing in my life that I have tried to accomplish. Ask anyone else that has lost weight or tried to lose weight and I am sure that they will tell you the same thing. If it was easy, a larger percentage of people would be successful at it.

I think motivation is a major determining factor in how successful you are going to be at achieving your weight loss goals. If motivation is something that could be bought, we would all be rich and thin, but unfortunately it is something you have to work at. What works best for me is identifying certain things that make me feel like sticking to my plan and reaching my goals. Once I have identified these motivating factors; I surround myself with them and practice them.

The single thing that motivates me the most is success stories. When I say success stories, I mean people who have used a plan that is sensible. I tend to try to stay away from the to good to be true testimonials. You know the ones, I took this pill and lost 100 pounds in six months and you too can do the same or advertisements where they are talking about somebody’s weight loss and below it in tiny print are the words results not typical. If the results are not typical, what it means to me is it will not work that way for 95 percent of the people that try it.

The stories that motivate me are the ones where they lost 1 to 2 pounds a week and they did it with a tolerable, sensible diet and tolerable, regular exercise. When I say tolerable, I mean something you can live with, because if it is hard to live with you are not likely to stick with the plan for very long. People that have lost a lot of weight following a diet plan, that meets this criterion, are a lot more likely to keep the weight off.

I also tend to stay motivated if I do a lot of reading or research on subject matter that pertains to the task at hand. So, I spend a lot of time at the library and Barnes and Noble getting the latest information about things that are happening in the weight loss industry and learning about how the successful people reached their weight loss goal.

The other thing I have learned to do is avoid things that are going to cause me to feel overwhelmed. Nothing zaps my motivation quicker than feeling like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. If I can do things in an organized fashion 80 percent of the time, I will be able to stay on track and take the necessary steps to stay motivated to reach my weight loss goals.

The sooner you can identify the things in your life that make you feel good about your self, the better things are going to be for you. Surround yourself with positive things and you will find it easier to stay motivated not only in your weight loss journey, but also in other areas of your life.

Marjorie Salada is the owner of http://www.weightloss3000.com, a website that contains information on weight loss, exercise, weight loss surgery and living a healthy lifestyle.

Numerology's Nurture number; what you can grow and prosper

2008-05-21T10:28:00.000-04:00

Want to know how you start things, which of your projects will grow and prosper? Numerology can tell you what kinds of task you nurture well, what projects you are good at tending. We just need to find out your Nurture number.

===> Calculating your Nurture Number

Your Nurture number comes from a specific branch of Numerology called Yantra or Magic Square numerology. It consist of constructing a Magic square using your birth date numbers, and then interpreting the values in the specific boxes in the square.

Your Nurture number is found by taking your birth month, and then subtracting (3), note that negative values are possible.

For example, actor Johnny Depp was born on June 9th, 1963; so his Nurture number would be calculated as follows:

Nurture number = (Birth month - 3) = (6 - 3) = (3)

The Nurture number values and their meanings are listed below.

===> Nurture Number (-2)

You use your strong intuition to hinder and sidetrack others in their plans. You are selfish when it comes to helping others succeed. For you, it's every man for himself.

===> Nurture Number (-1)

You hate starting things and watching them grow. You would rather buy an existing business and try to improve it than start from scratch. You are good at improving projects already started; but terrible at getting them underway.

===> Nurture Number (0)

You don't really care about starting things and watching them grow one way or the other. You don't mind starting projects, but you don't take any special joy from it.

===> Nurture Number (1)

You love starting things and watching them grow. You are more likely to start a business from scratch than to buy an existing one to develop. You are a better starter than a finisher of projects; but you really lavish your attention on projects in their early stages.

===> Nurture Number (2)

You use your strong intuition to help and support others in their plans. You are a caring sympathetic person who finds great joy in watching others succeed with your help.

===> Nurture Number (3)

You have a gift for inspiring other people with words. You are quite creative in starting your plans, and when pushed can develop your own plans and talents quite a bit.

===> Nurture Number (4)

You are willing to put in hard work for anything you really believe in. You have infinite patience for your plans, and are willing to wait years, if need be, to see your projects bear fruit.

===> Nurture Number (5)

You are a natural consultant; able to give good sound advice to people in all sorts of endeavors. Sadly, your own projects and ideas never seem to get developed. You need encouragement to start and nurture your own plans, and follow through on them.

===> Nurture Number (6)

You love supporting and nurturing friends and loved ones. You make a wonderful parent saving only a tendency to be over protective of your children. You like working on your creative hobbies and take great pleasure in charting your own progress.

===> Nurture Number (7)

You love a mental challenge. You're fascinated by seeing how different things work; learning their hidden secrets. When something interest you, you're able to work on it in stages; starting small, and then developing it into a major project.

===> Nurture Number (8)

You are a natural when it comes to nurturing a small business and growing it into a financial success. You love taking on tasks or endeavors that you judge will be money-makers, and nurturing them through the rough spots. You stick with them as long as that money-making potential remains.

===> Nurture Number (9)

You love nurturing and supporting any group of people with a noble cause or goal. Weather a club, support group, or a philanthropic organization, you're able to help raise the spirits and self-esteem of everyone around you.

Keith Abbott is the developer and owner of 'Numerology 4 You' where you can order your own Numerology reading including your personal Lucky Numbers. Visit him on the web today at http://www.numerology4you.com/

Many People Do Not Recognize They May Be Depressed

2008-05-12T09:41:00.002-04:00

Many People Do Not Recognize They May Be Depressed

Depression is a type of illness that affects the whole body, mood and thoughts. It affects your self esteem, the way you eat, sleep, feel and do your day to day activities. People with severe depressive illness can’t even pull themselves together and without proper treatment the symptoms can last for weeks, months, or even years.

The symptoms of depression may vary from person to person, but generally include many of the following symptoms. You no longer seem to think like you used to think. You start to experience problems with concentration and it can get hard for you to make even simple decisions. You start to feel negative about the whole world. Pessimism, poor self-esteem, excessive guilt, and self-criticism are some of the most common feelings that characterize the state of depression. Individuals suffering from severe depressive illness often have suicidal tendencies.

Lack of motivation and constant feeling of tiredness are other symptoms. Sometimes irritability is a problem, and you may have more difficulty controlling your temper. Extreme cases of depression are characterized by feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. Most of the time those people are thinking about the bad things in life and what has went wrong with their life.

The negativism associated with depression leads to changes in behavior. The person might act more apathetic, because that's how he or she feels. Withdrawing socially is also quite common. Some people start to complain about everything and get relieve from their anger in the form of temper outbursts. Sexual desire may disappear, resulting in lack of sexual activity. In the extreme, people may neglect their personal appearance, even neglecting basic hygiene. Work productivity and household responsibilities also decrease.

Imagine how bad the situation can get for a person if those symptoms last for weeks, months or years. His whole life can take a turn for the worst. Such people need professional care to tackle the problem. Remember, depression is treatable. Instead of worrying about whether you are depressed (or a family member), do something about it.

There are a lot researches conducted on this problem. Stats show that while depression can affect anyone, its effect may vary depending on your age and gender. Women have twice as higher risk of suffering from depression than males, because of hormonal changes brought on by puberty, menstruation, menopause, and pregnancy. Elderly people are also very likely to get depressed, especially if they have lost their loved ones and are living alone.

There are a lot of cures for depression. Medication includes different types of medicines which help to fight the symptoms of depression. But the bad side here is that the person might get addicted to those pills. The symptoms will fade away when they are used, but the person might feel even more depressed if he stops the medicine. Therefore, it is best to fight with natural means. Sport and exercising can be a real cure. That is because sporting activities like bicycling, basketball, football or any other type of sport increase the levels of dopamine and adrenaline in your brain making you feel good about yourself. You have to change your whole attitude. What this means is to mentally tell yourself to stop sulking around and to think of all the good things that life has brought you.

Jerry Cahill has been involved in natural health for over 5 years. He reviews many products and passes along information. Visit his site at: http://www.manicantidepressionmedication.com.

Law of Attraction: The Science of Creating Wealth

2008-05-05T12:11:00.002-04:00

So this title caught your attention? That means you want to learn more about creating wealth. The good news is, is creating wealth is something anyone and everyone can do. Read this article; know that there is a science, a system to getting rich and creating wealth. By applying the law of attraction and other universal laws, you will get rich. Learn the science of getting rich, study it, practice it and then start to attract the riches that you so strongly desire. Hold on to your vision, your dreams and hold steadfast to your goals, and remember, often times, it is not the destination that makes us happy, it is the journey!

Law of Attraction

Understanding the Law of Attraction is most critical to your success and in obtaining prosperity and wealth. Simply put the Law of Attraction states that “I attract into my life whatever I give my energy, focus and attention to, whether unwanted or wanted or conscious or unconscious.” This means that you can have anything you choose, no matter how big it is. This means if we learn how to apply the law of attraction, we can learn how to achieve success, prosperity and wealth. We can receive greater levels of income, than we ever dreamed.

The Law of Attraction works because we all have one infinite Power; a God, Higher Power or Universe, and that we all guide ourselves by laws; natural laws of the universe, such as the law of gravity, cause and effect, polarity, action and reaction, and the law of attraction. The law of attraction can best be described as a magnetic force, that like thoughts attract like experiences. That these laws of nature are so precise, that when man thinks about things, he or she can accomplish miracles. The law of attraction says that everything in your life is attracted to you by your thoughts. The Universe takes these thoughts as instructions, and manifests what you think about and focus on, into your life’s experience. What kind of instructions have you given the universe so far?

Think about this for a moment, if you think and focus about how poor and financially strained you are, you will become poorer and more in debt. The more you think and focus on your current situation, wanted or unwanted, the more tolerable or intolerable your situation will become. If you worry and are angry about your lack of money, wealth or prosperity, you are practically guaranteeing yourself an experience of lack of wealth, money and prosperity. If you are constantly jealous and bitter towards others, as they have wealth and you do not, you are going to attract more jealousy and bitterness into your experience. What you resist persists and what you fear perseveres.

Our Thoughts have Frequencies

Our thoughts have frequencies, so when you think about or imagine what you want, such as great wealth, success and prosperity, your thoughts go out to the universe or Higher Power and the universe or Higher Power brings it to you. So if you see yourself living the life of the rich, in a fabulous house, with an expensive car, glamorous clothing and fine arts, you will attract this into your experience. So whether you are thinking about your past experiences, your present situation or your future, and whether you are remembering, observing or imagining, the universe or Higher Power is listening and responding by bringing that thought and those things right back to you. I recommend you start to think rich!

Attracting Thoughts and Things by Using your Mind

Your mind is a sender and receiver of information far beyond the five senses. You can attract thoughts and things into your life, just by using your mind. Think about driving on some remote country road. You try scanning your radio to find a new radio station for some good traveling music. Until you tune into a station, you will not hear the music. But that does not mean that it is not already out there, nor that other people are not already listening to it. The same principle applies to whatever you are attracting into your life. What you are experiencing is dependent upon what frequencies your thoughts are emitting their information on. When you send it out thoughts or information, a message to the Universe or Higher Power, by the power and vibrations of your mind and of your thoughts, you will attract it back to you, into your experience. It is quite a complex theory the first time you hear and consider it. But as you think about it and look around into your world, you will see that indeed this is true. It is a universal law.

Chronic Ways of Thought

If one has a prolonged negative chronic way of thinking about their lack of wealth and prosperity, their debt, according to the law of attraction, these thoughts will manifest into existence. Their experience will be that of more debt and lack of money. If one is thinking of how great their financial success and wealth is, they will have more wealth. If one can accept and practice this concept, one can transform their life.

The key concept to take away is that we are all the architects of our life, good or bad. All of our problems are created by us and us alone, not by your parents, partner, boss, friends, accident, upbringing or family. All of our successes were created by us and us alone, not by luck or chance. We have created them, each and every one. This may be really difficult to accept if this is the first time you are hearing this concept. But once you do, your life can transform into a whole new world, with unlimited possibilities and success, good fortune and prosperity. So change those thoughts about lack of money into thoughts of an abundance of money. Learn the techniques of visualization, goal setting, using a systematic approach to creating wealth and you will have it, the law of attraction is as predictable as the sun setting and rising. Seek information to master these skills, visit www.acquiredhope.com and www.inspirednhopeful.theSGRprogram.com for free information and programs to help you succeed, quickly!

We have the power to attract more good things, more good fortune into our experience. One just needs to learn how to apply the laws of attraction and remain focused on what he or she really wants. Consistent thought and affirmations will shift your mind and your energy and allow greater wealth to come into your experience. Most times, this is a learned skill, it requires study, practice and dedication to aspire and experience more. But anyone can learn it and master it. Start today, create your new visions and images of great fortunes and abundance in wealth, learn a system of creating wealth, learn by the masters, the teachers of The Secret: www.inspirednhopeful.theSGRprogram.com wealth generation is a predictable thing; learn the science to getting rich and by law you will receive it.

Nicole Matoushek, MPH, PT has 15 years of experience in clinical managed care and disability management. She is founder of ErgoRehabinc.com. She has authored two books "Acquired Hope: A Journey of Advanced Recovery and Empowerment" and "365 Days of Abundant Hope" both available on http://www.acquiredhope.com. She is inspired by http://www.inspirednhopeful.theSGRprogram.com. Nicole is passionately dedicated to helping others succeed in obtaining abundant health, wealth and a fuller life!

Battling the Bet-Nots: How to Overcome the Negative Noise of Naysaysers

2008-04-28T18:24:00.000-04:00

How many times have you made up your mind to do something you really desired to accomplish but came up against much discouragement from friends and family? You decide to quit your high-paying job with paid company benefits in pursuit of your dream career only to be met with a thunderous chorus of "you had better not!” These loving beings, whom only have your best interest at heart when they furiously nod their heads in dismay at your latest inspiration, can make it extremely difficult to put that first foot forward in the direction of your goal.

We often internalize the views and opinions of the naysayers in our lives leaving us stagnant in our progression towards happiness. We stay at the dead-end job, accept the cards that have been dealt to us and allow ourselves to become complacent in our present life positioning. But why? Do we find this nonchalant tradeoff for contentment in lieu of our ultimate dreams truly gratifying? In most cases, the answer is almost certainly no.

Defeating the negative noise is a must if you plan to really live your best life. You have to learn how to listen to your own inner coach. It is that tiny voice inside yourself that is constantly debating the various choices that have been laid before you. This self-talk is influenced by your personal morals, values and experiences as well as those of the individuals who share your environment. When you are posed with any type of decision, you must first identify whether or not the origin of your self-talk is really coming from you. Although you should value the opinions of those whom you love and respect, you must consider the underlying reasons behind their disagreement with your chosen path. It may seem harsh, but if these individuals are not where you want to be, why should you listen to them? Successful people get successful by surrounding themselves with those who are already succeeding.

If it is indeed your own voice, you must next determine if the opinion is valid. You can discount any argument that simply doesn’t make sense. Ask yourself if the voice has developed as a result of a fear. It can be a fear of risk, a fear of failure, a fear of success or something completely illogical. Fear can certainly be immobilizing. To conquer your fear and begin rationalizing your dreams, start by writing down what you plan to accomplish. Once you have your dreams in writing, you will need to ask yourself several difficult questions. What are your goals? What do you need to do to make your dreams come to fruition? Are your goals reasonable and attainable? How will your life be better if you are successful in reaching these goals? Will you have more money? …more time? …a new car? How long will it take you to accomplish these goals?

You will find that by writing out and evaluating the feasibility of your dreams, they suddenly seem more tangible. You also have produced the beginnings of a plan of action. List each goal; along with the estimated time you believe it will take you to complete it, in chronological order. Type up this action plan, placing a checkbox next to each goal, and use it to create a dream collage. Gather up pictures, travel brochures, magazine articles or whatever you can find to symbolize the things you will have accomplished upon completion of your goals. Arrange these items on a large sheet of construction paper or poster board using your action plan as the center. Hang your dream collage above your desk or in any other highly visible place where you will have to see it often.

Use your dream collage as the focus of your daily meditation. Before you officially start your day, meditate on your dream for at least fifteen minutes. Close your eyes and picture yourself enjoying the items pictured in your collage. You should do this as many times as possible throughout the day but at least once in the morning. This will help you to overcome the negative noise by turning it into positive self-talk. You will find that your mind will start to embrace your dream. You will have envisioned the dream, you will begin speaking the dream, and then you will act the dream. Gradually, you will be living the dream.

© 2006 by Niquenya D. Fulbright, Professional Life Coach All Rights Reserved

Why CBmall is better than most affiliate programs

2008-04-14T14:22:00.018-04:00

Ask questions first before you join an affiliate program. Do a little research about the choices of program that you intend to join into. Get some answers because they will be the deciding point of what you will be achieving later on.

Will it cost you anything to join? Most affiliate programs being offered today are absolutely free of charge. So why settle for those that charge you some dollars before joining.

When do they issue the commission checks? Every program is different. Some issue their checks once a month, every quarter, etc. Select the one that is suited to your payment time choice. Many affiliate programs are setting a minimum earned commission amount that an affiliate must meet or exceed in order for their checks to be issued.

What is the hit per sale ratio? This is the average number of hits to a banner or text link it takes to generate a sale based on all affiliate statistics. This factor is extremely important because this will tell you how much traffic you must generate before you can earn a commission from the sale.

How are referrals from an affiliate’s site tracked and for how long do they remain in the system? You need to be confident on the program enough to track those people you refer from your site. This is the only way that you can credit for a sale. The period of time that those people stay in the system is also important. This is because some visitors do not buy initially but may want to return later to make the purchase. Know if you will still get credit for the sale if it is done some months from a certain day.

What are the kinds of affiliate stats available? Your choice of affiliate program should be capable of offering detailed stats. They should be available online anytime you decide to check them out. Constantly checking your individual stats is important to know how many impressions, hits and sales are already generated from your site. Impressions are the number of times the banner or text link was viewed by a visitor of your site. A hit is the one clicking on the banner or text links.

Does the affiliate program also pay for the hits and impressions besides the commissions on sales? It is important that impressions and hits are also paid, as this will add to the earnings you get from the sales commission. This is especially important if the program you are in offers low sales to be able to hit ratio.

Who is the online retailer? Find out whom you are doing business with to know if it is really a solid company. Know the products they are selling and the average amount they are achieving. The more you know about the retailer offering you the affiliate program, the easier it will be for you to know if that program is really for you and your site.

Is the affiliate a one tier or two tier program? A single tier program pays you only for the business you yourself have generated. A two tier program pays you for the business, plus it also pays you a commission on the on the sales generated by any affiliate you sponsor in your program. Some two-tier programs are even paying small fees on each new affiliate you sponsor. More like a recruitment fee.

Lastly, what is the amount of commission paid? 5% - 20% is the commission paid by most programs. .01% - .05% is the amount paid for each hit. If you find a program that also pays for impressions, the amount paid is not much at all. As you can see from the figures, you will now understand why the average sales amount and hit to sale ratio is important.

These are just some of the questions that needed answering first before you enter into an affiliate program. You should be familiar with the many important aspects that your chosen program should have before incorporating them into your website. Try to ask your affiliate program choices these questions. These can help you select the right program for you site from among the many available. If you're a beginner CBmall is the answer to alot of your questions, take a look at it and see for yourself. See the 15 powerful ways CBmall can make you money!

The Dating Society

2008-04-13T18:30:00.001-04:00

Like any other society, Latin culture is one that is embedded with traditions, values and celebrations. Internet dating seems to be a very controversial subject. Finding someone to date is easier with a little help from your friends.

Many people find making new friends daunting, and find it easier to do this via the web. Over the past 20 years the face of dating has gone through some noticeable changes. Online dating iIt’s a huge business that has ushered in a whole new era of dating.

Some dating websites are very thorough, and ask lots of questions before they attempt to match you to an online dating partner. You can upload a picture to your online dating service if you want, but it is not required. Although you want to find someone that attracts you and that you share things in common, don’t limit yourself to what you think is your type.

People can often contact you for free, but many online dating sites charge if you want to contact others although this depends on the site. Some internet dating sites provide you with a list of photographers in your area who specialize in internet dating photos. At the end of the day, it really depends on what you are looking for that matters. In this regard, whilst the bigger personals sites have more features, like webcam chat etc, they are very generalised and are really only aimed at dating personals in general.

Dating agencies are not a new idea, they have been around a very long time. The internet has simply served as a new medium for bringing people together in a tried and tested way that agencies have used for years. The bigger online dating agency sites now have in excess of three million members, and literally thousands of new members joining every day. If you don’t know where to start internet dating, just hit some chat rooms of your interest. The online dating world today can be a confusing place to be.

What do you know about dating

2008-04-13T18:26:00.001-04:00

Dating websites vary. Seems like everywhere we surf on the Internet nowadays we run across this little advertisement: 'Free online personals'. 95% of people on dating sites only search for other members who have bothered to provide a picture of themselves.

Online dating is simply a free dating service that you use via the Internet. As more people flock online, there are companies ever more eager to jump on the dating bandwagon. As the online dating community has grown, so too have the number of vendors willing to help you promote yourself.

People can often contact you for free, but many online dating sites charge if you want to contact others although this depends on the site. Take your time with the process. Don’t let anyone rush you. You are not committed to meeting anyone. Making contact online, you first have to find people that interest you by searching a dating website’s membership.

By using an online dating service, you don’t have to wait until the weekend to meet someone. Anonymity is important to most people these days when taking a chance with online dating. Use the tools provided on the dating site because they are there to help you enjoy the experience.

If you have recently become single what better way to meet someone new than to go online and meet more singles. There are many online dating sites that have very short sign-up processes and others that require you to answer lots of questions. On the net the world is simple and clear. By just putting an ad, people say: 'I want love'. Dating agencies are not a new idea, they have been around a very long time. The internet has simply served as a new medium for bringing people together in a tried and tested way that agencies have used for years.

How to Raise Self Esteem

2008-04-07T13:17:00.000-04:00

Have you ever felt bad about yourself? Most people have at some point in their life, including the most exceptional of characters. It’s part of the human experience.

A person that regularly experiences negative feelings such as, self-hate, guilt, shame and embarrassment is commonly referred to as having low self esteem. One of the main problems with breaking out of these emotional habit patterns is that a person with low self esteem tends to ‘beat themselves up’ with overly critical self-talk such as, “I shouldn’t be feeling like this” or “Why am I feeling like this”, and unfortunately this creates a looping effect which re-enforces the crappy feelings!

So just how do you snap out of that kind of low energy level wretchedness and raise self esteem? Well, one of the master keys to using your brain is to keep in mind the fact that it goes in directions. Your thought patterns are ‘directionalised.’

Allow me to explain. If you kept having thoughts along the lines of, “I am a useless person”, then that would become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Because you’d set that up as the direction for your brain to go in you would keep finding ‘evidence’ that proved it was ‘true!’ There’s a great quote from philosopher, Robert Anton Wilson; “What ever the thinker thinks, the prover proves.”

Basically you need to adopt a new thinking pattern that heads in an empowering direction. A really quick way to do this is to use a technique known as disassociation.

Think of situation where you would like to raise your self esteem feelings and notice what you can see in this experience. Now imagine stepping outside of yourself and pushing that picture off into the distance over there onto a movie screen. So you can see yourself, in that situation, on the movie screen.

That’s great! Notice how your feelings have already changed. It’s as if you’re having feelings about the feelings and this frees up your inner resources so you can gain new self - esteeming perspectives and insights.

Looking at that movie with you in it ask yourself, “If I were to learn something useful about this situation what would it be?” And you can also ask the very powerful question, “If I act as if or pretend there is a positive intention behind my behaviour/feelings what would that be?” Don’t struggle with it. Just guess if it helps you get an answer. The main point is does it get your mind going in a more positive direction: Does it feel better?

Why not run through some other scenarios with the procedure above and become aware of just how much more you really can raise self esteem with a little bit of effort.

Until next time,keep reaching for your fullest potential!

Enhance Your Concentration With Self-Hypnosis

2008-04-07T12:56:00.000-04:00

During recent weeks, the city of Sheffield here in England has been hosting the World Snooker Championships.

Have you ever seen a more hypnotic sport? I know that some people would argue that it just sends them to sleep, though it is extremely hypnotic and at times I have found it to be extremely relaxing and exciting and I am amazed at what those professional players can do with the balls.

Snooker players sum up a lot about what I think you need in life to be successful - they have to practice and practice and practice to get to those levels, they have to be focus on what they want to the exclusion of all else at times, they have to learn from their mistakes and learn from each other. I know you can get metaphors to the same effect from most sports, it is just that this week I was inspired by one particular young man.

The hero of this years tournament, for me, was the losing finalist - a 23 year old man by the name of Mark Selby. They call him 'The Jester from Leicester.' Not only was he wonderfully exciting to watch play snooker... He actually smiles during games!! He has fun, he makes jokes, he entertains, he has a look about him that is extremely endearing and I really warmed to him despite this year being the first time he had broken into the top flight in the Snooker World championships. Mark Selby seemed to really enjoy what he was doing and I find that so inspiring.

What really amazed me was this guy’s stamina too.

First of all, because he was not in the world top 16 rankings prior to this tournament, he did not get an automatic place in the tournament, so he had to qualify with several matches. In the first round, he came from 5-0 down, to win 10-7. In the second round he beat former world champion Peter Ebdon, having trailed 6-2, he won 13-8. In the quarter finals he won 13-12 in a last frame decider. Then in the semi final, he beat another former world champion Shaun Murphy in a gruelling match, having trailed for much of it, 17-16!! A last frame decider again. Each of these games were hours long and the individual frames were often going on for very long times. The final, which he lost to John Higgins 18-13 went on until the early hours of the morning!

Wow. To maintain that level of mental endurance and concentration for such intense, pressurised lengthy periods of time is just incredible.

I get asked very frequently about how we can increase our powers of focus and concentration and so this week I thought I would a simple self-hypnosis technique with you to help you do just that. This technique today can also be used for all manner of things including stress reduction,

Here is a simple technique to help you keep focused for longer periods of time.

Step One: Be in a place where you are not going to be disturbed for a while. Get yourself comfortable, with your arms and legs uncrossed. Then just focus on the moment, notice what thoughts you are thinking, notice the sensation of stillness and the rhythm of your body and just be an observer of your experience for a few moments. Just observe yourself existing in that moment, without interfering with it at all. Then take a slightly deeper breath and exhale slowly while closing your eyes.

Imagine that you can feel gravity pulling you to whatever it is you are resting on. Feel your body being supported. Tune in to the moment and feel how it feels to just relax and observe how and who you are at this moment.

Step Two: Now bring your awareness in and concentrate on your breathing. Notice the parts of your body that move as you breathe in and out. Notice the wonder of your breath, be aware of the temperature of it - maybe it feels cooler when you breathe in and warmer as your breathe out.

Imagine that each breath is going deeper. That does not have to be a bigger or a larger breath, just a breath that relaxes you while you are keeping your awareness on it. Be sure at this stage to just let your breath happen without you interfering with it. Keep doing this for a little while as you notice your body relaxing around you and your mind slowing down, yet keeping your awareness on your breath - if your mind wanders, then just keep bringing it back.

Step Three: As you feel more relaxed, noticing the rhythm of your breathing, maybe it slows down slightly. Allow your breath now to move to other parts of your body. Imagine breathing in to muscles and parts of your body and releasing them, relaxing them and imagine the muscles softening and the nerves in those muscles just becoming still and quiet. Not having to do anymore than is absolutely necessary.

Step Four: When you are sure that you have sufficiently relaxed your body and are still focusing on your breathing, now move your awareness to your mind. This is where the key to this technique exists.

Using your imagination, imagine that in front of you is a clear glass jar. The jar is clear, it is clean, even shiny and it is well and truly empty. Really imagine details of the jar, the textures, the way light reflects off it, the top and bottom of it, what kind of lid it has - really get a good idea in your mind of how this jar is.

As you have been doing, observe yourself now. While you continue to observe yourself, imagine that unscrew the lid of the jar and remove it for now.

Look closely at this empty jar, become aware that it is waiting to be filled. Imagine it inviting you to put something inside. So this is your chance to let go of any burdens, any distractions, any unwanted thoughts and aspects of routines from your day. Whether they were generated by your activities, your work, any tasks you are wanting to perform, any errands, your travels, your apprehensions, any anxieties, your cares, any discomfort you may be experiencing or any other thing.

Observe carefully now as one by one you place them into the jar. Imagine that your mind pours it all from inside of you and places it into that jar. Continue now to fill the jar with any remaining distractions, burdens or unwanted thoughts or feelings.

You can have fun here and be creative. Maybe you can imagine a string of things pouring out from you, or a cloud with all these things inside, all travelling into the jar. Empty it all out in to the jar.

Step Five: Carefully and deliberately now, replace the lid on the jar. Give the lid one extra turn.

Breathe deeply now and observe that you stand and begin to carry the jar toward a door. Open the door. Outside, on the front step is a large shiny aluminum trash can. Open its lid now and place your jar inside,... Know that you may dispose of it now and forever.., or return for it at another time, if you wish.... Put the lid back on the trash can... turn from it... walk back through the door. Lock the door and return to your chair.

Affirm with yourself something along the lines of "I have true clarity of thought and supreme concentration and nothing can interfere with it until I have achieved ___________" Or something along those lines, using language that appeals to you and resonates with you of course.

Imagine that you have a focused vision, a level of concentration and focus now that is going to serve you really well with whatever you want to begin focusing on now. Feel it, experience it, imagine brimming over with this track of your mind and imagine generating a state of being within yourself... feel prepared to really be this way.

Step 6: Bring your awareness once again to your breathing and notice its rhythm, pace and depth. Tune in to the moment that you are in once again.

Become aware of your toes and fingers, give them a wiggle or two and then open your eyes.

Hold your body in the way you would when you are focused. Hold your thoughts in a way that says "I am focused" and go about your day or the upcoming task or whatever it may be in a truly focused fashion. Spend some time getting yourself really focused and engaged in something that you wish to achieve and notice how much more you excel!